


The Engineer's Gift

by shan21non



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Firefly
Genre: "companion" has so many meanings doesn't it?, Crossover, F/M, So does "browncoats"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-08 02:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 100,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1922679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shan21non/pseuds/shan21non
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Doctor takes a wrong turn, he and Rose find themselves aboard Serenity.  Confusion, explosions, mystery, romance, and adventure ensue!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: If you are a Doctor Who fan who has never seen Firefly, or a Firefly fan who has never seen Doctor Who, do not fear! I have made every effort to allow either type of reader to follow the story and get introduced to the characters regardless of prior knowledge. If you’re a fan of both series, it will hopefully just be extra enjoyable for you! 
> 
> A Note on Chinese Translations: Firefly characters frequently sprinkle Mandarin phrases throughout their speech. I've included translations at the bottom of the page,
> 
> A huge thanks to buffyaddict13 and inkhand for beta reading! Your feedback and corrections are invaluable. Also, I own absolutely none of either fandom.

**CHAPTER ONE**

 

“Well, this isn’t the Flupani Centennial Ball.”

 

“Could have fooled me.”The blond girl paused pointedly after her reply. He wore a pinstriped suit and a long brown overcoat.She wore a gown of emerald green.

 

She raised an eyebrow at a tumbleweed that rolled across the dusty road in front of them.

 

“The TARDIS must be feeling a bit ill to put us this far off our destination,” the man murmured, his fingers trailing gently over the painted wood of their transport.The words ‘Police Box’ stood out across the top, although they did not describe what lay behind the blue door.

 

The girl adjusted one of the delicate crystal straps on her arms.They were mostly there for show, drooping off her shoulders with a purposeful elegance.The dress was, in fact, supported by the satin ribbon that laced up the back of its corset top.

 

“Are we in the Old West?” she asked.

 

When the man looked up, a question in his eyes, she pointed to the building in front of them.Its saloon doors flew open and shut with the warm breeze.

 

“The New West, in a way,” he replied enigmatically.

 

“Come again?” the girl asked.

 

The man took a slow spin, examining his surroundings with the practiced air of someone who had done this many times before.

 

“The year 2518, give or take,” he concluded.

 

“So, only about a hundred thousand years off where we were aiming for,” the girl teased good-naturedly.“But we _are_ on Earth, Doctor, aren’t we?” 

 

“Not Earth-That-Was.”

 

Off her puzzled look, he continued.

 

“A few centuries in your future, humans use up the Earth’s resources.Kaput!” He clapped his hands for emphasis.“And thus begins the first era of human space colonization.Your lot finds a new solar system and terraforms hundreds of new earths.”

 

“Really?Just a few hundred years in my future?” the Earth girl asked.

 

“Never doubt the power of human waste, Rose.‘Necessity is the mother of invention’ and all that.”

 

Rose took the Doctor’s lecturing tone in stride.

 

“Hang on, though.People were on Earth after the Twenty-sixth Century, weren’t they?You said when I first met you that the year Twelve-thousand-and-five was the New Roman Empire.”

 

“Oh, children always want to return home some day, don’t they?And humans are rather brilliant.You figure out a way to renew the planets resources eventually, but for now, in this century, you’re all space colonists,” he said.

 

“Well, terraforming new planets just a few centuries after the moon landing—not bad.”

 

She grinned at him, only to find him staring at the saloon with a curious expression on his face.

 

“What?” she prompted.

 

“Sounds like a party in there,” the Doctor noted.

 

Rose tilted her head to the side to listen, and, sure enough, she heard the clamor of voices raised in a celebratory roar.When she glanced back at the Doctor, he was already looking at her, the corners of his mouth starting to curl upwards.Taking his lead, she flashed him a toothy grin.

 

“Well, I _am_ dressed for a party,” she said.

 

“That you are!” the Doctor replied gleefully.

 

He held out his arm like a proper gentleman, and Rose took it with an exaggerated flourish.Together they marched to the saloon doors, Rose’s wide satin bustle nearly getting caught on the way through.

 

Once inside, their senses were assaulted by the stench of liquor and the sounds of drunken celebration.Disheveled ladies slid from lap to lap, cackling wildly.Two men danced what appeared to be a sort of jig off in one corner of the room.Men at the bar toasted loudly, although to what, Rose wasn’t sure.More than one gave her an appreciative once-over, and a man towards the far end of the bar let out a wolf whistle.Rose felt her cheeks color but pressed on, reassured by the Doctor’s relaxed grin.

 

What really caught Rose’s eye were the two figures sitting off in the opposite corner of the bar, seemingly separate from the festivities.A man in a brown coat sat beside a beautiful dark-skinned woman, and neither appeared in the mood to celebrate. They eyed the proceedings in almost solemn silence.

 

“Come on, Rose!I’ll buy you a drink!” the Doctor shouted over the noise.

 

Rose pulled her eyes from the quiet couple and back to her friend.

 

“You’ll buy me a drink with what money?” she asked.

 

The Doctor’s mouth hung open for a moment.

 

“Right.You get us drinks,” he said decisively.

 

“How’s that, then?” she asked, amused.

 

“Use your feminine wiles.”

 

He waggled his eyebrows, earning him a swat on the arm.

 

“Maybe later,” she said dryly.

 

They slid past a man who gave Rose a roguish wink.

 

“ _Wŏ céng jīng jiàn guò nĭ mă? Huò xŭ zài wŏ mèng lĭ jiàn guò_? ” the man slurred.

 

The Doctor smiled at the man but wrapped a protective arm around Rose’s shoulder and pressed onward.

 

“What language was that?” Rose asked.

 

“Most humans at this time speak English, but they like to pepper their speech with some colorful Mandarin phrases,” the Doctor explained.

 

“Why couldn’t I understand him?The TARDIS is supposed to translate all languages for me telepathically, isn’t it?”

 

“There are some things the TARDIS won’t translate.Profanity, for example.”

 

“He was swearing at me?” Rose gaped.

 

“No, it was just…”

 

“What?” Rose asked, stopping to place her hands on her hips.

 

“It was an incredibly cheesy come-on.The TARDIS was sparing you, I think.”

 

“Really?” Rose asked, grinning.“What’d he say?”

 

The Doctor rolled his eyes, but indulged her.

 

“Haven't I seen you before… in my dreams?” he delivered dramatically.

“Excuse me, I have a husband to catch,” Rose announced, turning back.

 

The Doctor snagged her wrist and spun her back around.Rose giggled and allowed herself to be dragged past another pair toasting loudly.

“What are they celebrating?” she asked.

 

The Doctor smiled, but the expression didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“Unification Day.The central planets in this new solar system formed the Anglo-Sino Alliance.They wanted the other new earths to fall under their control.Not all of the colonists went peacefully.”

 

“Who won?”

 

“The Alliance.But this isn’t too long after the war.Plenty of rebels still lurking about the outer reaches of the ‘Verse,” the Doctor explained.

 

Rose frowned.

 

“Lurking about doing what?”

 

Before the Doctor could answer, the sound of shattering glass pulled their attention.Rose located the source of the noise immediately.The man in the brown coat stood at the bar now, his hand empty where his glass should have been.He wasn’t small by any means, but a much larger man towered over him, dwarfing his solid frame.

 

“Well, that was mighty clumsy of you, spillin’ my drink.But I s’pose if you buy me a new one, we can call it square,” the man in brown said with a cheerful twang.

 

“Gorram Browncoat!What are you thinkin’ showing up in _this_ town on _this_ day?”

 

Rather than shrink back, the smaller man leaned in closer to the thug in front of him.

 

“I was thinkin’ I’d like a drink.I’m still thinkin’ that, actually, so if you could go on and replace the one you threw to the ground, I’d much ‘preciate it.”

 

The larger man turned away, as if he was going to order a drink, then whipped back around, aiming a powerful right hook at the other man’s jaw.As if he’d seen it coming the whole time, the smaller man ducked and came back up with a fist in his opponent’s gut.The giant grunted and doubled over, sliding backwards into a barstool.

 

“Anybody else wanna buy me a drink?” the man in the brown coat asked, almost sweetly.

 

Hearing their cue, a dozen men, apparently friends of the large man slumped over on the stool, stood.The sound of wooden chairs scraping the floor filled the room.The man in brown took this in with an amused smirk.

 

“Well, ain’t that somethin’.Who’da thought I’d have so many admirers?” he grinned.

 

“He’s got a death wish,” the Doctor murmured.

 

All at once the silence ended.People converged on the man in brown, and he disappeared behind a flurry of fists.Rose saw the dark-skinned woman enter the fray, stoic as ever, and then she too disappeared.

 

Rose looked up at the Doctor, alarmed.

 

“What’s going on?Why are they attacking that man?”

 

“The Independents, those fighting against the Alliance in the Unification War, they wore—”

 

The Doctor was interrupted when a meaty hand grasped the collar of his coat and hauled him backwards.

 

“Hey, we got another one over here!” the owner of the hand bellowed.

 

“What are you doing?Let him go!” Rose shouted, attempting to push her way through the crowd to follow.

 

“This here’s a _fancy_ Browncoat,” the man announced, shoving the struggling Doctor to the front of the bar.Rose managed to fight her way to the front as well, just in time to see the man in brown shoved up next to the Doctor.The defiant man now sported a split lip and an already blackening eye.He was held fast by the large man who broke his glass.The dark-skinned woman fought her way out to stand beside Rose.

 

“Look at that fine suit,” the man continued, plucking at the Doctor’s lapels.

 

The Doctor smiled as if the compliment was sincere.

 

“Do you like it?I thought it looked quite posh myself!Now, if you’ll just let me explain—”

 

“It’s shiny, friend!We’ll have to exchange fashion tips later,” the man in brown interrupted, flashing a cheeky grin.

 

“Lousy _bái mù_ Independent scum!” someone in the crowd screamed.

 

The resounding cheer that came in response was so loud that Rose could scarcely be heard over the din.

 

“Doctor!” she screamed, trying to catch his attention.

 

“Doctor, huh?Some fancy Core-trained doc fought for the Independents?” the man who grabbed the Doctor said.

 

Rose was at a loss, but she had no time to reply.The fighting broke out again.The man in brown and his female cohort operated with the precision of soldiers.At one point a man with a broken glass bottle came up behind the woman, and the man in brown swung a fist right at her face.Without hesitation, she ducked allowing his fist to land squarely on the other man’s nose.Blood sprayed out and Rose let out an involuntary yelp.She tried to find the Doctor in the melee, and managed to catch of glimpse of his pinstripes just before a loud BANG rang out in the bar.

 

All movement halted, no one quite sure what the noise meant or who might have been injured by it.After a shuffling of bodies, the crowd stood back to reveal the Doctor slumped at their feet.

 

“Oh, god!”

 

Rose stumbled forward and threw herself over the Doctor’s body, thinking of nothing more than shielding him from additional harm.Curled around him, she felt his cool breath against her neck.Her body sagged against his, relieved to feel a sign of life.

 

“What did you do to him?” she demanded, whipping around to face the crowd.

 

“Just a sonic rifle, sweetheart.Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” a voice called out.

 

She identified the speaker, a man holding a large gun standing behind the bar.

 

“What were you thinking?He wasn’t doing anything to you!” she shouted.

 

Without warning, Rose felt arms sliding around her middle and hauling her back and upwards at the same time.Her back hit the chest of a man she couldn’t see, and his arms locked around her stomach.She could smell the stench of liquor on his breath.

 

In this position, Rose found herself facing the man in brown.The man held her gaze, all pretense of his lighthearted mood gone.He gave a nearly imperceptible shake of his head, as if warning her from making a scene.

 

“This is an awful fancy dress for this dusty rock,” the man holding her rasped.

 

His hands teased the satin pickups on her skirt as the crowd howled with laughter.

“Let me go,” Rose demanded, twisting in his grasp.

 

“What’s such a fancy girl doin’ in a place like this?” the man asked.He moved to trace his fingertips along the gown’s crystal straps with mocking delicacy.

 

“We were on our way to a party.Took a wrong turn,” Rose bit out, suppressing a shudder at the man’s touch.

 

“Wouldn’t mind takin’ a wrong turn with you, sweetheart,” the man leered.

 

She felt the stubble of his beard brush her shoulder.

 

“Hey now, why don’t you leave the lady alone.”

 

It was the man in brown who spoke, his jaw set in anger.

 

“She ain’t no lady if she’s with a lousy Browncoat!” the man with the rifle shouted.

 

The crowd answered with a riotous cheer.

 

“What’s it matter if his coat’s brown?!” Rose asked desperately.

 

She winced as she was shoved unceremoniously to her knees in front of the Doctor.She reached out to touch him, but strong arms jerked her backwards, just out of his reach.

 

“Hey!Take it easy!” the man in brown shouted ineffectually.

 

“What’s your relationship to this piece of _go-se_?” a voice in the crowd demanded.

 

Rose’s heart sped up.Maybe if she gave the correct answer, they’d let her leave with the Doctor.

 

“We travel together,” she said ambiguously.

 

“That doesn’t answer my question, honey.You love this man?”

 

To emphasize the question, the man gave the Doctor a swift kick in the ribs.Rose was anguished by the Doctor’s faint moan.

 

“It’s not—that isn’t—” she stammered.

 

“Better give me an answer quick, ‘fore my finger slips on this here trigger—”

 

Seemingly out of nowhere, a man emerged from the crowd pointing what appeared to be a pistol at the Doctor’s unmoving form.Rose’s heart stopped completely.

 

“I’m his companion!” she shouted.

 

Complete silence descended over the room.The hands gripping her arms released her suddenly as if her skin was on fire.She didn’t dare to speak.

 

“You’re his personal Companion?” a voice asked, finally.

 

Rose was bewildered, but tried to sound confident when she replied.

 

“That’s what I said.”

 

“ _Go-se_.You can’t mess with a registered Companion, Dale. _Shén me niǎo_ are you thinking?” A red-haired man scolded the man who had grabbed Rose.

 

“How was I s’posed to know?” Dale gasped.

 

“Look at what she’s wearing you gorramed fool!” the redhead hissed.

 

The crowd shifted uneasily.The people closest to the door filed out quickly.Those closest to the action seemed deeply unsettled and unsure about what to do.

 

“You gotta understand, Miss, with his coat ‘n all, we thought—”

 

Dale’s voice broke off as the man with the pistol shuffled him towards the door.

 

“That’s right!You’d best start runnin’, boys, because I imagine this high-bred woman is moments away from sendin’ a wave to Alliance police,” the man in brown proclaimed.

 

“Clear out!Take this celebration to Kyle’s bar.Move!” the man behind the bar shouted above the commotion.

 

In less than a minute, the bar was clear of everyone save for the Doctor, Rose, the man in brown, and his stoic female partner.Now free to move, Rose turned the Doctor onto his back and placed her palms over his chest.She felt two weak but steady heartbeats and allowed herself to exhale.

 

She turned to face the man in brown, who was eyeing her with some curiosity.

 

“Will he be okay?” she asked.

 

“Just a sonic rifle.Takes the wind outta ya, but I’ve taken worse than that ‘fore breakfast and been doin’ cartwheels by lunch,” he said reassuringly.

 

Rose nodded.She didn’t need to know why the fight had broken out or what brown coats symbolized.All she needed was to get the Doctor safely inside the TARDIS.He could recover there and they could get out of this dangerous place.Getting him there, however, was not a one-person job.

 

“Will you help me get him back to the… to our transport?” she asked the battle-worn pair.

 

The dark-skinned woman looked to the man.When he gave a curt nod, she bent to lift the Doctor under one arm while Rose took the other.As she slid her arm around his back, Rose’s fingers slipped against something wet.Her grip loosened and she gasped as the Doctor fell back to the ground.She immediately reached out for him, but the sight of her reddened fingers stopped her short.Her entire hand was sticky with blood.

 

“No.No, no, no, no, no,” she breathed.

 

Without hesitation, the dark-skinned woman flipped the Doctor onto his back again and pulled his shirt up to his chin.A long, jagged laceration stood out against the Doctor’s pale ribs.

 

“He’s been stabbed,” the woman announced.

 

“There’s a doctor on my ship.We’ll bring him there,” the man in brown said resolutely.

 

Rose could only nod faintly while the woman retrieved a tattered bar rag and wrapped it round the Doctor’s wound.

 

“I’ll get him up, Zoe,” the man said.

 

The woman, Zoe apparently, cleared out to let her partner get closer to the Doctor.He bent and wrapped the unconscious man’s arms around his neck before hoisting himself back up.He grunted with the effort, but soon had the Doctor in a nearly-standing position behind him, with only his feet dragging on the ground.

 

“Sir?” the woman prompted.

 

“Got him,” he confirmed.

 

“I’ll make sure nobody’s out there waiting to give us a parting gift,” she said, pulling a gun from the belt at her waist and exiting the bar first.

 

“Come on,” the man grunted.

 

He followed Zoe, and Rose, heart in her throat, trailed behind.

 

“I think the Companion was threat enough to scare ‘em off, Cap’n,” Zoe announced, her keen eyes still scanning the streets.

 

“Good,” the man replied.

 

“How far is your ship?” Rose asked, jogging to keep up with the Captain and Zoe.

 

“Not far,” Zoe answered.

 

“And our doc’s real good.Patched up worse’n this plenty of times,” the Captain added.

 

“Thank you,” Rose said earnestly.

 

They walked briskly in silence for a few minutes before the Captain spoke up again.

 

“You from Dyton Colony?” he asked.

 

Rose frowned.

 

“No.Why do you ask?” she said, taking care to avoid a clump of weeds in the dirt road.

 

“I got an acquaintance goes by the name of Badger comes from Dyton.You sound a might like him.But Dyton’s an old prison colony, and naturally someone as fine as a genuine Guild Companion would never so much as set foot in a place like that.”

 

The sideways glance he gave her seemed to imply quite the opposite.Rose squirmed under his appraising gaze.

 

“No, of course not,” she said faintly.

 

She was beginning to think that ‘companion’ meant something very different in this world, something powerful.That probably meant companions didn’t speak like they came from working-class London.But since the title had yielded positive results so far, Rose decided she’d better stick to it.She didn’t offer any explanation for her accent, and hoped the strangers would drop the subject.

 

“What did you say your name was?” the man pressed.

 

“I’m Rose,’ she offered.

 

“Well, Rose, I’m Captain Malcolm Reynolds and this here’s my first mate Zoe,” the Captain replied.

 

Rose nodded at Zoe before turning her attention back to the road, which turned to reveal a sort of interstellar parking lot.Spaceships of various shapes and sizes sat across the lot, some still smoking.

 

“And who’s your friend with the fine-lookin’ coat?” Zoe asked.

 

“He’s the Doctor,” Rose said.

 

“The Doctor, huh?” she replied skeptically.

 

“Doctor who?” the Captain asked.

 

“Just the Doctor,” Rose provided anxiously.

 

Her eyes scanned the lot, trying to guess which ship was theirs, and desperately hoping it was close.

 

“Hmm…” the Captain murmured.

 

Rose didn’t notice the dubious look that passed between the Captain and his first mate.She did, however, notice when the Captain gestured to the gray ship ahead of them and spoke.

 

“Welcome to _Serenity_.”

 

 

 


	2. Chapter Two

 

**CHAPTER TWO**

 

Footsteps rang out against the metal grating as the pilot approached the three other crewmembers in the cargo bay.

 

“Is Inara back?” a girl in a green jumpsuit called up to him.  Her brunette hair was pinned back in two loose buns, and her face was smudged with engine grease.

 

“The Ambassador’s shuttle has returned,” the blond confirmed.

 

He took the stairs two at a time until he landed with a _thunk_ in front of the mechanic.

 

“Is our baby ready to fly, Kaylee?” he asked.

 

“The new G-line fits like a dream,” she replied, grinning.  “We are ready for lift-off.”

 

“Yeah, if the gorram captain ever decides to make it back to the ship,” a gruff voice muttered.

 

“Ah, Jayne, the Cap’n just needs to blow off some steam,” the mechanic dismissed.

 

She turned, hands-on-hips, to face the bad-tempered man.  He was prone on a weight bench, mid-set.  He took the time to complete another rep with a hefty barbell before replying.

 

“I got better things to do with my time than sit around while the Captain goes to pick a bar fight,” he grunted.

 

“At least Zoe went along.  She’ll keep the Captain out of trouble,” a man in a gray collar commented.  He stood above Jayne, acting as spotter.  His dark skin stood out against the shock of white hair that he tied back in a tight ponytail.

 

“That’s my warrior woman.  Always keeping the menfolk in line,” the pilot said proudly.  “Besides, there’s no stopping Mal on U-Day.  The man will find a fight wherever he can.”

 

“Wash is right,” Kaylee said.  “And at least we ain’t in a rush.  We got legitimate wares this time ‘stead of something crime-y.”

 

She gestured to the large crates stacked against one side of the cargo bay.  They emitted a low scratching noise and vibrated slightly.

 

“Them things give me the heebie-jeebies,” Jayne said, sneaking a sideways glance.

 

“Awww, is the big tough mercenary afraid of the itty bitty bugs?” the pilot teased.

 

“Can it, Wash!” Jayne snapped, racking the barbell with more force than was necessary.

 

“They’re only babies, Jayne, just hatched a few weeks ago.  Besides, I think it’s nice,” Kaylee said, walking over to the crates and giving them a friendly tap, as if petting the creatures within.  “The rim planets need some help with pest control, and these little guys’ll do the trick.  It’s shiny!”

 

“It’s creepy is what it is,” Jayne rumbled.  “Them things are called assassin bugs.  That don’t seem unsettlin’ to you?”

 

“They _are_ interesting creatures.  We had some in my garden at the abbey,” the preacher said.  He tossed Jayne a towel to mop the sweat from the bench.  “They kill their prey by injecting saliva into the body through their piercing mouthparts.  The saliva paralyzes the prey and then liquefies the unfortunate creature’s insides.  Then the assassin bug sucks the liquid out of the corpse much like we might sip a milkshake through a straw.”

 

Jayne gave the man a deeply disturbed look.

 

“Preacher, I swear sometimes I don’t know what’s creepier: the doc’s moonbrained little sister or a shepherd who knows so damn much about killin’ things.”

 

Shepherd Book merely shook his head and smiled.

 

“I think we’ve all learned that, for a very muscled man, Jayne is afraid of a shocking number of things,” Wash noted.

 

Jayne grabbed hold of the collar of Wash’s Hawaiian shirt and tugged him close.

 

“Very funny, little man,” he sneered.

 

“I’m not that little, you know.  I’m taller than Zoe,” Wash protested, prying his shirt from Jayne’s grip.

 

“Ain’t no way you’re taller’n your wife,” Jayne spat, releasing Wash with a shove.

 

Wash stumbled and straightened up before defending himself.

 

“I just slouch, is all.  Zoe has the posture of a soldier.  I have the posture of—”

 

“A loser?” Jayne offered.

 

Wash narrowed his eyes at the mercenary, but before he could respond, Kaylee wrapped her arms around the pilot in a tight hug.

 

“A _loveable_ loser,” she said, giving him a peck on the cheek.

 

“Gee, thanks.  Ego intact,” he said sarcastically.  “In any case, you shouldn’t have to wait too much longer, Jayne.  The Captain said he was only going for one drink.  He’ll be back any minute and we’ll be on our way, problem-free.”

 

A loud metallic whir started up behind them, and they turned to see the air hatch lowering to reveal the Captain and Zoe.  Only they weren’t alone.  A blond woman in an emerald ball gown stood beside Zoe, and the Captain was dragging an unconscious and bleeding man on his back.  

 

“You were sayin’?” Jayne said dryly.

 

Wash noticed that he had a black eye.

 

“The Captain is always so good at making new friends,” he quipped.

 

“We need some help here!” the Captain shouted.

 

Shepherd Book rushed forward to help the Captain, throwing the Doctor’s left arm around his shoulders while the Captain took his right so that the man hung suspended between them.

 

“Mal, who the hell are they?” Jayne demanded.

 

“The blond one’s _fancy_!” Wash said.

“Not helping, dear,” Zoe gritted out.

 

“Sorry, darling,” Wash replied.

 

“Less talkin’, more helpin’,” Mal ordered.  “Where’s Simon?”

 

“Here. What happened?”

 

A handsome young man in a crisp shirt and vest strode purposefully into the room from a door opposite the air hatch.  Book helped drag the unconscious man forward as Mal spoke.

 

“Doctor, meet the Doctor.  A fellow Browncoat lookin’ for a good time on this fine U-Day.  Met the wrong end of a knife.  Think you can stitch him up?”

 

Simon nodded.

 

“Let’s get him to the infirmary.”

 

The young doctor turned back to the door he had just entered through.  Together Mal and Shepherd Book followed, the Doctor supported between them.  The pretty blond in the ball gown started after them when Mal turned sharply and pinned his gaze on her.

 

“You stay here, Miss,” he commanded.

 

Her eyes widened in panic, but she stopped short.

 

“But—” she started.

 

“Zoe,” Mal barked.

 

The girl felt a sudden pressure on her arm and looked down to see that the first mate’s fingers closing around it.

 

“Strangers stay in the cargo bay until proper introductions are made.  We don’t know you, and you won’t be wondering around this vessel until we do,” she stated matter-of-factly.

 

“But the Doctor—” the girl started desperately.

 

“We’ll take good care of him.  Simon’s the best there is,” Kaylee interjected, giving her a sweet smile.

 

The girl took a hesitant step backwards.  As the men disappeared through the door at the back of the cargo bay she suddenly straightened up and shouted after them.

 

“Don’t give him aspirin!  He’s allergic!”

 

“Roger that!” Mal shouted as he turned the corner.

 

He and Book carefully navigated the Doctor’s limp body down the steps and into the infirmary.  Once they had removed his long brown coat and pinstriped jacket, they settled the man onto the examination chair.  Simon tore open his shirt and cut through the undershirt beneath it to look at the wound.  A moment later Book set about flipping on the lights while Simon rifled through drawers and cabinets for medical supplies.

 

“You two got this covered?” Mal asked of Simon and Book.

 

“We’re fine,” Simon replied, examining the wound again as he spoke.

 

“All right.  I need to check in with Inara.  But Doc, before I go, I’m not sure when this man might stir, so you’ll want to see that your sister stays well hid until both of these strangers are off the ship.”

 

At Simon’s curt nod, Mal left the room to find his tenant’s shuttle.

 

Simon worked quickly and efficiently.  Occasionally he requested a tool or supply in a calm, direct tone, and Book tried his best to have it ready.  His skill was obvious, and the Shepherd could imagine that the boy had a very bright future ahead of him in a prominent Core hospital before the problems with his sister arose.

 

In minutes, the young doctor had managed to stop the flow of blood from the rough puncture wound.

 

“He doesn’t appear to require a blood transfusion.  I’m going to apply some subdermal adhesive and antibiotics and then I’ll be able to stitch him up,” he announced.

 

Book wiped the sweat from his brow and said a silent prayer of thanks.

“If you don’t need me, I’ll find River and see that she keeps to her room,” he offered.

 

Before he could do what he said, however, the teenager in question appeared in the doorway.  Her waiflike body stretched across the frame, her stringy black hair falling across her face.

 

“Two hearts,” she said softly.

 

“River, dear, you can’t be in here.  Your brother is tending to someone who is very sick,” Book said kindly.

 

River slipped into the room as if she hadn’t heard.

 

“Not from here.  Far away,” she said in a hollow, distant voice.

 

Her eyes were fixed on the injured man’s bare chest.

 

“River, I’m busy right now.  You have to go to your room and stay there,” Simon said, his focus still on the open wound in front of him.

 

Book attempted to gently take River’s arm, but the girl made a noise of distress and scampered further into the small room.  Before either man could stop her, she pressed her open palms onto the injured Doctor’s chest.

 

“River, don’t!  This man is hurt!” Simon snapped.

 

He swatted her hands away, but she didn’t seem perturbed.  Instead, she stared straight ahead at nothing, and continued in the same hollow voice.

 

“He dances from world to world, laughing and running and saving everybody.  Unless he kills them.”

 

An eerie silence filled the room.  Book and Simon shared an uneasy look.

 

“Is he dangerous?” Simon probed.

 

“He laughs to hide the pain.  The weight of the whole ‘verse, every second of every eon.  He sees more than anyone, more pain, more love, more death.  He’s been responsible for a lot of it.”

 

Before they could ask more, she was in motion.  She spun in tight circles like a prima ballerina, arms reaching for the sky.

 

“Time coursing through his brain.  Branching out into a thousand—a million—billions and billions of possibilities and he’s the only one who sees it.  So lonely.  The last of his kind.  He doesn’t belong here.”

 

She continued to spin, faster and faster.

 

“He breathes in the gold swirling stuff, and he exhales change.  He isn’t a god, but he’s something unique.  Other than.  Killer.  King.  Jester.  Judge.”

 

She stopped so abruptly that she stumbled and fell into her brother’s cart of instruments.  The sharp utensils scattered in every direction with a tinny clang.  Simon cursed and bent to pick up his now-un-sterilized tools, but the Shepherd stared at River.  She regained her feet and placed her palms once more on the injured man’s chest.

 

“Are you talking about this man, River?” Book asked.

 

“Not a man.  Not human,” she replied without looking up.

 

“Of course he is.  We’re all human, dear,” Book said.

 

“Two hearts,” she murmured.

 

“Okay, River, you’ve disturbed enough of my surgery room.  Shepherd, please get her out of here.  I have to check this man’s vitals and make sure that River’s playing patty-cake on his torso didn’t do anything.”

 

“River, you heard your brother,” Book said.  “Come with me.”

 

He put an arm around the girl’s shoulders and gently ushered her towards the door while Simon pressed his stethoscope to the man’s chest.

 

“Wait a minute,” Simon muttered.  “This makes no sense.”

 

“Everything okay?” the Shepherd asked, one foot out the door.

 

“Told you,” River called out in a sing-song tone.  

 

“This isn’t possible,” the young doctor whispered, craning his neck to listen more closely.  Sure enough, he heard two distinct heartbeats.

 

“What the _guai_?”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Gorram = God damned (this isn’t Chinese, but it’s commonly used on the show as slang)
> 
> guai = hell
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes:
> 
> Hi there! Did you know that every time you leave a review, a double rainbow appears? Try it out! (disclaimer: it might be an invisible double rainbow)


	3. Chapter Three

 

**CHAPTER THREE**

 

Rose knew that the crew was talking, but for several minutes, she couldn’t focus on anything they said.  She couldn’t feel her legs as she stumbled her way over to sit on a low crate.  She could, however, feel Zoe’s eyes following her.  She didn’t care what the first mate thought.  She should be with the Doctor, not in the cargo bay with them.  

 

Her eyes darted to the door the Doctor had just been dragged through, and her feet twitched with the need to follow.  Then Mal reemerged through the doors, and Rose stood without even realizing it.

 

“Is the Doctor okay?” she asked.  Her voice sounded strange to her own ears, fragile and weak.  

 

“He’s stable,” Mal said.  He moved past them all and up the metal stairs without breaking stride.

 

Rose didn’t so much sit back down as she collapsed.  Normally, she would run after the Captain and demand more information, but all of the adrenaline from the day had run out.  She looked down at the Doctor’s blood on her fingers and tried not to think about him fighting for his life without her.  So distracted was she, that she almost missed it when the friendly brunette started to speak directly to her.

 

“I’m Kaylee, _Serenity_ ’s mechanic, and this here’s Wash and Jayne.  I guess you already met Zoe, but… I didn’t catch your name,” Kaylee said.

 

This crew made no sense.  The sweet brunette and the blond in the Hawaiian shirt didn’t belong on the same ship as the tall muscle-bound man giving her a suspicious glower or the hard-faced first mate.  But if convincing them she wasn’t a threat was what they needed to let her see the Doctor, she’d do her best.

 

“I’m Rose,” she said.  Then she decided to add the title that had yielded positive results before.  “I’m the Doctor’s companion.”

 

Zoe’s eyes narrowed, and the muscled man took a step forward.

 

“You a free agent, or are you with the Doc full-time?” he asked.

 

Rose tried to hide her confusion.  It would be much easier if she knew what a companion did, but she answered as honestly as she could.

 

“Me and the Doctor are always together.”

 

“That’s so romantical!” Kaylee sighed, her hands clasped in front of her.

 

“Is it?” Rose asked dubiously.

 

“I mean, not romantical, exactly,” the young mechanic rushed to amend.  “I know companionin’ ain’t just about that.  We got a Companion of our own on board.  Well, she ain’t ours.  She doesn’t service the crew or nothin’ like that.  She’s rentin’ a shuttle from us.  Inara Serra.  Say, did you two know each other at the Academy?”

 

Again, Rose was at a loss. 

 

“No, that name doesn’t sound familiar,” she replied truthfully.

 

Kaylee went on without a hint of disappointment.

 

“So what’s it like, goin’ from all those men to just one?  He must be pretty special, huh?”

 

Rose’s eyes widened.  The true meaning of the title suddenly became very clear to her.

 

“Hang on, I think there’s been a—”

 

“Gorramit, Kaylee!  You wanna roll out the welcome mat?  Why not invite her into the cockpit, let her take a spin!” 

 

Kaylee frowned—the first time Rose had seen her do so.

 

“Jayne, you’re just mad she ain’t open for business.  Not that _you_ could get a genuine Guild Companion in your bed with a stack of platinum a mile high.”

 

“ _Pìhuà_!” the large man growled.

 

Wash stepped between them, holding up his hands.

 

“Kids, don’t fight in front of the nice lady.  You’re embarrassing your mother and me,” he joked.

 

His wife didn’t crack a smile.

 

“Tell us more about yourself,” Zoe said impassively.

 

“Yeah, how did you meet your doctor?” Kaylee asked.  She bounced on her heels excitedly.

 

Zoe continued to stare intently at Rose, and the girl felt like uncomfortably like prey in the sight of a hunter’s rifle.

 

“Well, he came to my work,” she began stiltedly.

 

“ _Fèihuà_ ,” Jayne spat.

 

“Don’t mind him,” Kaylee said encouragingly.

 

“He convinced me to leave everything and run with him,” Rose said.  The hint of a smile appeared on her face.

 

“Yeah, but how?” Kaylee pressed.

 

Rose thought back to her old Doctor, the man she first met.  A sad, lonely soldier.  The last of his kind.  That hard shell protecting the shattered bits of himself. 

 

“He was so alone, but he let me in and showed me the universe.  Every day with him is an adventure.”  She thought of that look in his eyes when he held out his hand and wiggled his fingers.  She thought about lacing her fingers through his and that grin they shared before racing off to a new world.  “Nothing could ever make me leave him,” she said.

 

“You love him,” Kaylee hummed happily.  It wasn’t a question.

 

It occurred to Rose for a moment that she should correct Kaylee.  She and the Doctor had never been, and never would be, anything more than friends.  He was a Time Lord with a nearly limitless lifespan, and she was a human girl from a dodgy part of London.  They were best mates, and that was absolutely enough for her.  She’d follow him through the whole of time and space for the rest of her tiny human life.  Still, she thought it best to keep things simple, and so she gave the mechanic a vague but truthful reply.

 

“He just… swept me off my feet,” she said with a shrug.

 

Kaylee sighed.  Jayne grunted.  Wash gave Zoe an affection look that she missed.

 

“How long have you been with him?” the first mate questioned.

 

Rose snapped out of her reverie.

 

“About two years.  I’m not really sure, to be honest.  It’s hard to keep track with all the traveling we do.”

 

“What a life,” Kaylee sighed.

 

“It’s wonderful.  When he isn’t getting us into trouble,” she said, as if she was sharing a secret.

 

“Speaking of trouble, is it true your Doctor is wearin’ that coat for a reason?” Zoe asked abruptly.

 

The smile left Rose’s face.  She still wasn’t exactly sure how to explain the brown coat or why they were in that bar.

 

“I—”

 

She stopped when Mal came back into view.  He marched purposefully across the metal catwalk and down the stairs, but this time he wasn’t alone.  

 

“Rose, I’d like you to meet Inara Serra.  She’s a colleague of yours,” he announced.

 

The woman who accompanied him didn’t walk down the stairs—she glided.  Her flowing silk dress pressed just close enough to her body to reveal her graceful curves.  Her olive skin looked flawless, her lips full and red, her eyes rich and soulful.  Her raven hair fell in thick curls over her shoulders.  She somehow exuded both the charms of youth and the dignity of age.  She was the most striking woman that Rose had ever seen.

 

When she came to the base of the stairs after Mal, she paused there and held out her hand.

 

“What a pleasure to meet you, sister,” she said kindly.

 

Rose realized after a moment that she was expected to go to the woman.  She walked a few steps in Inara’s direction to give her hand an awkward shake.

 

“Likewise,” she managed to utter.

 

Inara flashed a lovely smile, but her eyes searched Rose’s face intently.  She held the blond’s hand for a beat too long, and Rose felt her own smile waver under the strain of maintaining it.  Finally, Inara released her hand.

 

“She’s a liar,” she proclaimed.

 

Mal nodded as if he’d been expecting this verdict.  Rose heard a click to her left.  She turned to see Zoe’s gun trained on her.

 

“Sir?” the first mate said, awaiting orders.

 

Rose held up her hands.

 

“Wait!  I’m not a liar!  What did I lie about?” she asked frantically.

 

Inara ignored her, addressing the crew instead.

 

“This girl isn’t a registered Companion.  Look at the way she moves.  Listen to her speak.  She’s a whore.”

 

Rose gawked.  

 

“Excuse me?  I’m no whore!” she blustered.

 

“You’re a lyin’ whore, actually,” Mal shot back.

 

“I’m sure she does a whole lot of lyin’.  On her back.”

 

Jayne grinned at his clever pun.  Rose ignored him.

 

“Look, I think there’s been a misunderstanding.  I travel with the Doctor.  I’m his _traveling_ companion.”

 

Zoe spoke with her gun still aimed at Rose.

 

“Why did you use that word if you didn’t mean it?”

 

Rose looked to Kaylee, someone she hoped would be sympathetic.

 

“I didn’t realize what it meant!”

 

Jayne snorted.

 

“Didn’t realize?  What kind of _go-se_ is that?  There ain’t nobody don’t know what a Companion is.”

 

“And what’s with the eye-catchin’ disguise if you ain’t tryin’ to pull a fast one?” Mal demanded.

 

Rose turned her eyes on the Captain and gritted her teeth.

 

“You already heard me tell the men in the bar:  We were heading for a party and took a wrong turn.”

 

“I don’t like this, Sir.  Sounds fishy,” Zoe said.

 

Rose gaped.

 

“Look, it wasn’t even my idea to come to your ship!  You invited us!”

 

Mal tilted his head, considering her.

 

“Only _after_ you found the knife wound.  Which, by the way, strikes me as pretty suspicious, seeing as I didn’t notice a-one of those Alliance drunks flashin’ any metal,” he said.

 

Rose frowned.

 

“You think, what?  That _I_ stabbed the Doctor in a cunning plot to get on your ship?”

 

“She wouldn’t do that Cap’n.  She seems real nice,” Kaylee interjected.

 

“Kaylee, _bizui_.  Let Mal speak,” Zoe ordered.

 

Rose was at a loss.

 

“Why would I want to get on your ship?”

 

“Plenty of reasons.  Moochin’ a ride, plannin’ a con, or maybe you know somethin’ about our cargo that we don’t.  In any case, let’s rehash our little adventure, shall we?” Mal said.  “You entered that bar _after_ us.”

 

“Made eye contact with us,” Zoe added.

 

Mal nodded.

 

“Stared right at us, all focused-like.”

 

“You stood out.  You were the only ones not celebrating,” Rose pointed out.

 

“You weaved your way through the crowd with your fella, who, by the way, clearly never fought for the Independents,” Mal said.

 

“Man’s a dandy if I ever saw one,” Zoe concurred.

 

Rose thought of the Time War.  She could see the haunted look in the Doctor’s eyes whenever he talked about it.

 

“He’s fought before.  You have no idea.”

 

“Neither do you, I’m guessin’,” Mal retorted.  “I think you found this poor sap, fooled him with your considerable charms.  Maybe you even convinced him you were an actual Companion.  Probably told him that _yú chǔn_ coat made him look dashing.   Then you drew him to the bar that you saw me and Zoe enter and waited for the fireworks to begin.”

 

Rose stood frozen.  She wanted to slap the captain.  She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs.  She wanted to shove her way past all of them and be by the Doctor’s side while he got better.  But despite all that she wanted to do, she felt like she couldn’t even begin to defend herself when the charges were so ridiculous.

 

“You’re mad!  What could you possibly have on this ship that I would want?  I don’t even know you!”

 

“You ain’t very good at lyin’.  Couldn’t even come up with a name for your mark,” Zoe said.

 

“Just ‘the Doctor.’  Really?  That’s just disappointin’,” Mal chided.

 

“And a little insultin’,” Zoe added.

 

Rose shook her head.

 

“I would never hurt the Doctor.  He’s everything.  He’s—”

 

“A damn fool,” Mal interrupted.  “Was he even stabbed in that brawl?  Maybe you realized that a sonic rifle hit wasn’t enough for me to invite you on my ship, so when you leaned down to ‘make sure he was okay’ you sunk a blade between his ribs.”

 

To her dismay, Rose felt tears threatening at the corners of her eyes and quickly blinked them away.  She wasn’t one to collapse in sobs at the first sign of trouble, but she felt overwhelmed by the complete _wrongness_ of their questioning and her utter inability to articulate a defense. 

 

“Or maybe she’s just a girl who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and she needs our help.” 

 

Seven faces swung around to see the Shepherd emerge from the door at the back of the cargo bay.

 

“Is something wrong?  Is the Doctor okay?” Rose asked immediately.

 

Book nodded.

 

“He’s going to be fine.  But—”

 

“You left Simon alone down there?  If these two are runnin’ a con, no one should be alone with either of them,” Mal said.  “Jayne, go check on Simon.  I want to make sure he didn’t run into any nasty surprises with our supposedly injured passenger.”

 

“That won’t be necessary.”

 

Everyone turned back to the doorway.  Simon stepped through, a grave look on his face.

 

“I’ve stopped the bleeding and sedated him, but… there _was_ a surprise.”

 

Simon took a step towards Rose. 

 

“Care to explain why your friend as two hearts?”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> pìhuà = bullshit
> 
> fèihuà = no shit
> 
> go-se = shit
> 
> Bizui = shut it
> 
> yú chǔn = stupid
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: Please review! Unlike River, I can’t look into your mind to see what you think. But on the plus side, I’m not crazy, so I guess it evens out.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR** ****

 

_“Care to explain why your friend as two hearts?”_

 

“Oh.  That,” Rose said.

 

“ _Oh that_?  _That’s_ her response?” Wash said incredulously.  He whirled on Rose.  “It’s not as if he said your friend has a weird mole, Girl-in-the-Fancy-Dress, he said _two hearts_!”

 

“Well, I mean, isn’t it obvious?” she replied.  “He’s not human.”

 

There was a silent moment during which the crew stared blankly at Rose, followed by another during which they all looked at each other.

 

“He’s an alien.  A Time Lord,” Rose clarified.

 

More silence followed.  Finally, Mal spoke. 

 

“Inara, is ‘Time Lord’ some fancy title on a Core planet I’m not aware of?”

 

“No, Mal, it is not,” Inara answered confidently.

 

They turned in unison back to Rose, expectantly.  She threw her hands into the air. 

 

“He can’t be the first alien you’ve encountered.  You’re space travelers!”

 

“And I suppose you’re an alien too?” Wash asked slowly, as if he was speaking to a small child.

 

“Of course not,” Rose replied.

 

“Oh, of course not.  You just travel with one,” Simon retorted.

 

Finally, Rose came to a troubling realization.

 

“Does… does no one here believe in aliens?”

 

“Wow.  She makes River seem grounded and rational,” Wash muttered.  Then he quickly added, “Sorry, Doc.”

 

Simon shook his head.

 

“No, I have to agree.” 

 

Rose frowned.

 

“Who’s River?” she asked.

 

Wash’s eyebrows shot upwards.

 

“ _Tee wuh duh pee-goo_!  She’s no one,” he blurted, shooting another apologetic look at Simon.  “Can we get back to the part where she thinks her boyfriend’s an _alien_?”

 

“Do you s’pose she banged her head on somethin’ back at the bar?” Kaylee asked helpfully.

 

“What is it with you picking up crazy girls, Mal?” Jayne asked.

 

“ _Ta ma de!_ _Nimen de bizui_!” the Captain shouted.

 

The group fell silent.  Rose took this as her chance to correct what seemed to be a giant miscalculation.

 

“Okay then.  Right.  Just kidding!” she said, attempting a harmless smile.  “He was _born_ with two hearts.  Freak birth defect.”

 

Mal looked entirely unamused.

 

“I want a straight answer out of you, and I want one _now_.”

 

Rose knew that whatever she said wouldn’t be sufficient.  She needed the Doctor to back her up.  Without him, she was just some crazy girl spouting nonsense.

 

“It’s complicated.  I didn’t think—”

 

“Sir, no con woman would come up with somethin’ this bad,” Zoe interrupted.

 

“I’m inclined to believe you, Zoe, but I’ve been taken by a cunnin’ woman before, and I ain’t keen to have it happen again.”

 

“Ooh!  Are you talkin’ about when Saffron smarted you outta your clothes, Cap’n?” Kaylee asked, clearly delighted.

 

“Damn it, Kaylee.  Not in front of the possible con woman!” Mal huffed, sounding mildly embarrassed.

 

Kaylee looked abashed, but couldn’t quite wipe the smile off her face when she replied, “Sorry, Cap’n.”

 

Mal sighed.

 

“All right, let’s keep her locked up in the spare guest room while her friend recovers.  Maybe we’ll get a straight answer outta him.”

 

“I’m telling you the truth,” Rose said.

 

“Sure y’are sweetheart.  You’re playin’ road trip with a danged space alien,” Jayne replied.

 

“Oh, come on!  This is the Twenty-sixth Century!  Surely the human race has encountered—”

 

“The closest things to aliens are Reavers, and even they came from us originally,” Simon interjected.

 

“What are Reavers?” Rose asked.

 

The grave look that she received from Zoe was enough to chill her blood.

 

“You don’t wanna know,” the dark skinned woman said.

 

“Give you nightmares,” Jayne added.  The grimace on his face made it clear to Rose that the man wasn’t joking.

 

“Zoe, Jayne, please escort our _guest_ to her room and see that she stays put.  Kaylee, find her a spare outfit.  Zoe’s gonna have to confiscate that dress of hers.  God knows all the places she could hide a knife in that getup,” Mal ordered.

 

Rose was about to protest, but Jayne spoke first.

 

“Why’s Zoe get to do it?  I’d be happy to search her!” the mercenary complained.

 

Mal pinned him with a severe look.

 

“Jayne, if you can’t keep your hands to yourself, you won’t keep them at all.”

 

And with that, Jayne shut his mouth.

 

~0~0~0~

 

Kaylee watched Jayne and Zoe shuffle their “guest” through the same door the Doctor had been dragged through earlier, Simon following.  

 

“Wash, get us ready for takeoff.  As soon as our guests are well enough to talk and smart enough to get a story together that convinces me they aren’t a threat, we’re leavin’ them in our dust.”

 

Wash gave Mal a playful salute and made his way up the stairs.  

 

“Shepherd, were you able to get some produce from the abbey?”

 

“Tomatoes, squash, and plenty of rosemary,” Book replied.  He hesitated before continuing.  “Captain, I hope you aren’t too harsh on the girl.  After all, it wasn’t too long ago that another pair of passengers came to you looking for help and—”

 

“And they ain’t been any trouble at all,” Mal said sarcastically.

 

Kaylee felt herself bristle.

 

“Hey!  Simon’s been—”

 

“You let me worry about our guests,” Mal cut her off.  “We’ll be rid of them soon, one way or another.  Shepherd, you worry about fixin’ dinner, and Kaylee, get those clothes.”

 

“Yes, Captain,” Kaylee said, but she made sure not to sound happy about it.

 

Book gave the Captain a look that was full of judgment, but the Captain refused to be cowed.  He waited until Book was the first to look away, and then followed the older man upstairs.  

 

“Come on, _mei mei_ ,” Inara said, giving Kaylee’s hand a gentle tug.

 

With a sigh, she turned to follow Inara up the stairs.  On the catwalk, Inara turned to her shuttle and Kaylee made to continue up to the engine room, when she paused.

 

“It’s just…” she started.  “Inara, I can’t figure as that girl means us harm.  She seemed real concerned for the Doctor.  You can’t just fake that.  She loves him; I’m sure of it,” Kaylee said in a small voice.

 

Inara turned back to the catwalk.

 

“That may be, Kaylee.  The Guild trained me to read people, and as far as I can tell, that poor girl believes everything she said about the Doctor and aliens, but obviously it can’t be true.”  Inara sighed.  “Maybe she’s just confused.  But maybe she’s a threat, and it’s Mal’s job to protect his crew from threats.  For all we know, this pair is after Simon and River.  There’s quite a bounty on their heads.”

 

“I know you’re right, ‘Nara.  I just don’t like puttin’ this girl through all that when her fella’s lying in that chair with his insides spillin’ out.”

 

The Companion came to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 

“Don’t worry, Kaylee.  The Captain will make sure that everyone is taken care of.”

 

Kaylee shook her head.

 

“‘Course he will.  I’m just bein’ silly.”

 

Inara gave her shoulder a squeeze.

 

“You’re being compassionate.  It’s your greatest strength, Kaylee.  Never apologize for it.”

 

Kaylee always felt better after talking to Inara.  The Companion knew just what to say to brighten a person’s spirits.  She bit her lip and tried to hold back the tears that suddenly threatened her eyes.

 

“Inara, do you hafta leave us?” she blurted out.

 

The graceful woman seemed taken aback by the outburst, but she quickly recovered, speaking in her soothing tone.

 

“It was the most difficult decision I’ve ever made, Kaylee.  I don’t want to leave _Serenity_.  I love it here, and I love all of you, but it’s what I need.”

 

Kaylee’s lip trembled.

 

“But what’ll I do without you?  Zoe ain’t one for girl talk, and River… well, sometimes it’s like she ain’t even really a girl at all.”

 

Kaylee slapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with horror.

 

“I didn’t mean that!” she squeaked.  “You know I didn’t, ‘Nara, it’s just… I’m gonna miss you so much!”

 

Inara stepped forward and Kaylee allowed the woman to envelop her in a hug.  When the Companion spoke, her words vibrated against Kaylee’s neck.

 

“You’ll be able to send me waves whenever you like, _mei mei_.  You’re too precious to lose track of.”

 

“What about the cap’n?  He needs you too,” she murmured back.

 

There was a brief pause.  Then Inara replied very carefully.

 

“Mal and I are too… volatile.  I need peace, Kaylee, and you know as well as I do that Mal and I don’t…  Anyway, he’s agreed to drop me off on Persephone after Paquin.”

 

Kaylee pulled back enough to blink the tears away.  Inara gently wiped the wetness from beneath Kaylee’s eyes with the edge of her silk shawl, as a mother might do for a child.  

 

“I’m sorry, Inara.  I know you’re right about the cap’n, about all of it.  I’m just bein’—”

 

“Compassionate,” Inara reminded her.

 

Kaylee swallowed the rest of her words and smiled.  

 

“Now, you’d better go do as the Captain says, before he gets that unbearably authoritative tone on.”

 

Inara smirked, and Kaylee found herself returning the look.  She nodded and the two parted ways, Inara stepping into her shuttle and Kaylee moving up the staircase towards the engine room.  Kaylee knew she’d better make sure everything was shiny there before getting that change of clothes for Rose.  The Captain seemed in the mood to take off as soon as possible.

 

The warmth of the engine room was like a welcoming embrace.  Kaylee sighed as she stepped into the soft orange glow and ran her hand along Serenity’s metal heart.

 

“How’s my girl?” she murmured with a soft smile.

 

“She’s not crazy.”

 

Kaylee stumbled backwards with a yelp.  A girl with long black hair lounged in the striped hammock that Kaylee set up in one corner of the engine room.

 

“River!  How did you get up here without anyone seein’ you?” she gasped.

 

“Melted through the walls,” River said matter-of-factly.  “She’s not lying either.”

 

Kaylee frowned.

 

“You talkin’ ‘bout Rose?  ‘Course she is, River.  Ain’t no such things as aliens.”  She walked over and put a hand on River’s wrist.  “Listen, sweetie, you shouldn’t be out and about with strangers on board.  What if they recognize you?  There’s warrants for you and your brother all over the Cortex.  What if you get turned in?”

 

River’s eyes were unfocused.  She stared through Kaylee as if she wasn’t there.

 

“She is the Bad Wolf.  She creates herself.”

 

“River, I—I don’t understand.  I’m sorry,” Kaylee said.

 

River smiled up at her.

 

“It’s okay.  She doesn’t understand either.  Doesn’t remember that once she controlled every atom of the universe with the swipe of her hand.”

 

Kaylee squinted.

 

“That seems like somethin’ she oughta remember.”

 

River nodded.

 

“It does.  But she’s not lying, and she’s not crazy either.”

 

“River, you should go to your room.  Simon’ll worry,” Kaylee said.

 

“Brought you clothes,” River replied, revealing a pile of cloth in her lap.  “Captain said the Bad Wolf needs new clothes.”

 

Kaylee took the garment and held it out in front of her.  It was one of River’s simple prairie dresses—pink paisley with ruffles along the hem.

 

“Well, thanks, River.  She’ll look much more like herself in this than my stuff, I guess.”

 

“She’s used to jeans and trainers,” River murmured.

 

Kaylee chuckled at her own foolishness.

 

“Right.  I forgot she’s not a real Companion.”

 

“The first time she met him, he had an older face.  Big ears.  Daft grin.  But he said, ‘Run!’ and she took his hand and did just that.”

 

Kaylee didn’t even try to understand the girl’s mutterings at this point.  She tugged on River’s hand.

 

“Let’s go back downstairs.  Everything looks good here.”

 

The younger girl shook her head.

 

“I have my own way.  Don’t like the cargo bay anymore.  Little spies hum in boxes.  I prefer to melt through the walls.”

 

Sometimes River really was a puzzle.  Kaylee gave the engine one last glance as she replied.

 

“Little spies?  River, those are just bugs.  Nothin’ to—River?”

 

By the time she turned back to the hammock, it was empty; the girl was gone.  Kaylee couldn’t help but wonder if maybe River _could_ melt through walls.  It was a fleeting thought.  River was just a girl, regardless of what was done to her by the Alliance.  She was smart, sure, and she might be more perceptive than most, but she wasn’t magical.

 

Shaking her head, the mechanic exited the engine room just in time to hear the pilot calling for the captain.

 

“Mal!  We got a wave here.”

 

Kaylee craned her neck to hear them from the other end of the hallway.

 

“From who?” the Captain asked.

 

“Local law enforcement, looks like.  They want to check our cargo.”

 

Mal groaned.

 

“That’s just what we need right now.  All right.  Tell ‘em to come around.  I’m goin’ to send a wave to Moop, double check there’s nothin’ slipped in with those bugs he gave us that’ll cause any delay.”  He looked up then and caught his mechanic’s eye.  “Kaylee, I thought I told you—”

 

“I’m goin’, I’m goin’!” Kaylee snapped.

 

Her feet pounded on the metal steps and she jogged past the humming boxes in the cargo bay.  She slowed when she crossed the threshold into the next room.  Jayne was sprawled out on the couch in the lounge.

 

Kaylee ignored him and stared through the glass infirmary doors.  She saw Simon wiping something brownish on the Doctor’s stitches.  The man looked pale and feverish, and the scene made Kaylee shudder.

 

“Zoe’s disrobin’ our new crazy friend. I offered my assistance, but no such luck,” Jayne said, shooting a longing glance down the hall to the guest rooms.

 

“Right,” Kaylee replied, rolling her eyes.

 

“Kaylee, is that you?” Zoe called.

 

“Comin’!” Kaylee called back.  She turned the corner into the spare room and was met with the sight of copious amounts of green fabric and very little else.  

 

“Zoe?” she asked tentatively.

 

“I’m beginnin’ to think the dress itself is the weapon,” Zoe’s voice, muffled, called out from someplace behind the fabric.

 

“Sorry.  It’s the petticoats.  It’s like the dress is bigger on the inside,” Kaylee heard Rose reply.

 

With a strong tug, Zoe managed to pull the dress free from the blond, and Kaylee stepped aside to allow her to drag it into the hallway.

 

“There.  That’s better.  I’ll be searchin’ this for knives,” she warned Rose.

 

Rose sat on the small bed in nothing but a pair of green satin flats and a thigh-length slip.

 

“You won’t find any,” she said confidently, arms crossed over her chest to preserve her modesty.

 

“Good,” Zoe nodded.

 

Kaylee went to enter the room, but Zoe grabbed her elbow and pulled her out of Rose’s view.

 

“I don’t think she’s a danger,” the first mate whispered.  “She might need a kind word.  You got this?”

 

Kaylee nodded.

 

“Jayne’s right outside if anything happens,” she assured Zoe.  “You go on up with the Captain.  There’s a call from local law.  They wanna see the cargo.”

 

“Oh, good.  The Captain’s mood will only have improved,” Zoe replied sardonically.

 

Kaylee gave her a commiserating look and watched her go.  She straightened up, put on her brightest smile, and entered Rose’s quarters. 

 

“It’s not as fine as what you were wearing, but,” she said, holding out River’s dress.

 

Rose stood and took it without hesitation.

 

“This is fine.”

 

She slipped the dress on and immediately plopped back down on the bed with a deep sigh.  Kaylee took the liberty of perching herself on the edge of the mattress.

 

“Hey, everything’s gonna be all right,” she said.

 

“It always is.  The Doctor’ll be up soon and he’ll explain it all,” Rose said.  Whether she was trying to convince Kaylee or herself, the mechanic wasn’t sure.

 

“Sure he will,” Kaylee agreed.

 

“I want to see him.  Now,” Rose demanded, standing suddenly.

 

Kaylee frowned.

 

“Didn’t you pop in when you walked by the infirmary?” she asked.

 

Rose shook her head.

 

“Zoe let me stop outside the doors.  He looked pale.  Well, paler than usual.  I need to see him.”

 

Kaylee couldn’t help herself.

 

“Okay,” she said.

 

The blond’s eyes lit up.  

 

“Really?  I expected more of a fight,” she said. 

 

“Why?” Kaylee asked.

 

Rose hesitated.

 

“Well, I just thought… I dunno, because your captain thinks that I’m a devious con artist who stabbed her own friend to get onboard his ship in order to do you all harm?” she offered.

 

Kaylee’s eyes widened.

 

“Oh, yeah.  Well, there’s that.”

 

“But I’m not,” Rose quickly added.  “I mean, I’m not up to anything.  I just want to get the Doctor back, safe and sound, and we’ll be on our way.”

 

Kaylee smiled.  

 

“I believe you,” she said.

 

She stood and held out her hand, which Rose accepted gratefully.  The pair walked the short hallway to the lounge when they were stopped by a gruff voice.

 

“Cap’n gave you one job to do, Kaylee:  Get the girl dressed.  What’s she doin’ outta her room?”

 

Kaylee held up the hand that she still held in hers.

 

“Look at her hands, Jayne!  We gotta get her cleaned up and the infirmary has the biggest sink,” she lied.

 

Jayne’s eyes flickered from the blood on Rose’s hands to Kaylee’s face and back again.  Finally, he leaned back on the couch.

 

“Fine,” he grunted.  “Just make it quick.  And I’ll be watchin’.”

 

But Kaylee could see that Rose was no longer listening.  Her eyes were fixed on the Doctor.  She opened the infirmary door.

 

“Go ahead,” she told Rose.

 

Simon’s head shot up at the sound, and his eyes widened when he saw who was there.

 

“Kaylee, what’s going on?  She isn’t supposed to be in here,” he protested.

 

Kaylee entered the infirmary and shut the door to block Jayne out.

 

“She just wants to see him, Simon.  Just for a second.”

 

She gave Simon her best pleading look.  The young doctor looked highly uncomfortable with Rose hovering over his patient, but after a moment his shoulders sagged.

 

“Fine.  He’s still stable.  I was just checking his vitals again.”  He turned to Rose and added, pointedly, “ _Both_ hearts are functioning fine.”

 

But again, Rose wasn’t listening.  She was crouching next to the Doctor now.  Her left hand held his, clutching it as if she couldn’t quite believe it was real.  The fingers of her right hand threaded through his hair, affectionately stroking his tresses.

 

“Her hands.”  Simon looked started at the sight of the blood covering Rose’s fingers.

 

“It’s his,” Kaylee said.

 

She saw the realization hit Simon and that stiff expression that so often graced his face melted into something softer.

 

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he murmured, gently taking Rose by the shoulders.  She resisted, but he managed to pry her hands from him and urge her toward the sink, saying, “Don’t worry.  He’s not going anywhere.”

 

As Kaylee watched Simon rinse the dried blood from Rose’s hands, she couldn’t help the warm feeling that was bubbling up in her chest.  Simon was just so _shiny_.  He might act all cold and formal sometimes, but all a person had to do was see how loving he was with River and they could have no doubt that he was capable of tenderness. 

 

“His coat.”

 

Both Simon and Kaylee looked at Rose’s words.  Her eyes were locked on the long brown overcoat that the Doctor had been wearing earlier.  Now it was draped over the far right counter.

 

“What about it?” Kaylee asked.

 

Rose was suddenly in motion.

 

“There’s something in the pocket.  I need it.”

 

Simon jumped in front of her.

 

“Hold on,” he said.

 

“It’s not a weapon or anything,” she assured him, trying to move forward.

 

Simon held up his hands, refusing to let her pass.

 

“Just tell me what it is.” 

 

“What’s goin’ on in there?” Jayne asked.  The mercenary had entered the med bay, and he brought his gun with him.

 

“It’ll explain everything,” Rose insisted, gesturing at the coat.

 

“You stay put, Girlie,” Jayne growled.  “Kaylee, I told you you shoulda kept that girl in her room.”

 

“I’m sure it’s nothin’ to worry about,” Kaylee replied nervously.

 

“You stay there.  I’ll get it for you,” Simon offered.

 

Rose glanced back at the coat and then at Jayne’s gun.

 

“Fine,” she said.

 

Simon reached the counter and held up the coat, awaiting further instruction.  

 

“The breast pocket,” Rose said.

 

Simon nodded and reached in.  What he pulled out looked a bit like a small flashlight.  It was a short metal cylinder. 

 

“What _is_ this?” he asked.

 

Rose shook her head impatiently.

 

“I didn’t mean that.  I meant the wallet.”

 

Jayne cocked the gun. 

 

“The doc asked you a question.”

 

“That’s really not necessary,” Rose told him, pointing to the gun.

 

The merc was unmoved.

 

“I say it is.”

 

Rose seemed ready to retort, but thought better of it.  

“It’s nothing,” she sighed.

 

Kaylee frowned.

 

“Looks weapon-y.”

 

“It’s not.  It’s a sonic screwdriver.”

 

“A sonic what?” Simon asked.

 

“It’s not important.  There’s something else in that pocket.  It looks like a wallet.  There’s a piece of paper in it that will explain everything,” Rose said quickly.  

 

Simon started to ask another question, but cut himself off when the Captain’s voice rang out from the cargo bay.  With each word, he sounded closer.

 

“Doc, you’re gonna want to stay hid in a moment.  We got local police coming on board to inspect the—Kaylee!”

 

Mal stopped short in front of the infirmary.

 

“What the _guai_ is going on in here!  I thought I told you—”

 

“Captain, I _told_ her—”

 

“She just wanted to see him and then—”

 

“Get her back in that room!”

 

“Hold on, Cap’n, she says—”

 

“This is not up for discussion!”

 

“Stop!  Everybody just stop talking!” Simon shouted above everyone else.  

 

In the confusion, Rose had pushed past Kaylee and grabbed the wallet from the Doctor’s pocket.  She held it out to Simon like it was a shield, and his eyes were glued to it, wide with surprise.

 

“What’s it say, Simon?” Kaylee asked tentatively.

 

“Captain,” Simon said, staring past Kaylee at Mal.  “I think you’re going to want to see this for yourself.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Tee wuh duh pee-goo = Kick me in the bottom
> 
> Ta ma de! Nimen de bizui! = Everybody shut the hell up!
> 
> mei mei = little sister (not literally, but a term of endearment)
> 
> guai = hell
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: For those of you who are missing the Doctor, I promise you that he's back in full form in chapter five! Please review! It’s exactly what the Alliance doesn’t want you to do. Fight the power!


	5. Chapter Five

 

**CHAPTER FIVE**

 

_In the confusion, Rose had pushed past Kaylee and grabbed the wallet from the Doctor’s pocket.  She held it out to Simon like it was a shield, and his eyes were glued to it, wide with surprise._

 

_“What’s it say, Simon?” Kaylee asked tentatively._

 

_“Captain,” Simon said, staring past Kaylee at Mal.  “I think you’re going to want to see this for yourself.”_

 

Rose allowed Simon to take the small brown wallet from her.  As the crew crowded around the psychic paper, she held her breath.

 

“What am I looking at here?” Mal asked.  He leaned over Simon’s shoulder.

 

“It’s a business card of sorts.  Only this is a business that doesn’t exist.  Not officially,” Simon replied.

 

“You wanna hurry up with the sense-making, Doc?  Vera here is gettin' mighty impatient,” Jayne said, petting his gun as if it was a loyal dog.

 

Rose, for her part, had no better idea than Mal what the paper said.  That was the tricky thing with psychic paper; if you knew what you wanted it to say, you only had to concentrate and the words would appear.  If, however, you weren’t sure what would be the most helpful thing, the paper would do its level best, but its owner wouldn’t automatically know what that helpful thing was.  It was a matter of thinking on your feet to supply the most convincing responses as naturally as possible, going along with whatever seemed to be the gist of the conversation.

 

Simon glanced at Rose, his eyebrows drawn together in what could have been wariness or mere curiosity.

 

“When I first boarded your ship, I had with me a special cargo, as you’ll remember,” the doctor said carefully.

 

Kaylee and Jayne shared an uneasy look.  Mal simply nodded for Simon to continue.

 

“It was a complicated cargo to get, one that took me years to acquire.  After months of coming up against dead ends and danger, I found myself in possession of one of these cards.”  Simon paused.  He traced his fingers across the white paper, almost fondly.  “The man who gave it to me told me that it held the name of a group that works under the Alliance’s radar, a group that has a vested interest in reclaiming property that the Alliance had seized without the owners’ consent.  It took me another two years to track them down, and when I did, it was with their help that I was able to take back what was mine.”

 

Rose’s head was spinning.  Simon was being so careful that she couldn’t figure out what he was talking about.  A mysterious cargo?  A shadowy anti-government group?  Stolen property?  Just what was this crew into?

 

“You think Blondie here managed to rescue some _property_ of her own?” Jayne asked.

 

“Say, you don’t suppose…”  Kaylee’s voice trailed off.  She tilted her head in the direction of the Doctor’s unconscious form.

 

The crew followed her eye line.  Simon nodded slowly.

 

“He does appear to have been genetically altered.  I’ve had time to run a few tests.  It’s not just the two hearts.  He has an abnormally low core body temperature, something strange with his respiratory system, and two extra ribs.”

 

“I don’t like it,” Mal said abruptly.  He shot Rose a suspicious glare that made her feel guilty without knowing why.  “This just lends support to the idea that she was lookin’ for you, Doc.  Think about it.  She just _happens_ to stumble across one of the only other people in the ‘Verse who would recognize that card?  Maybe she knew seein’ this is what it would take to earn your trust.” 

 

“So let’s ask her,” Kaylee said.  When the crew’s only response was silence, she rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Rose.

 

“Rose, how did you get this card?” she asked.  The gentleness of her tone was undercut somewhat by the fierce mistrust evident in the Captain and the mercenary’s twin glowers.

 

Rose felt her heart begin to race in earnest.  Despite her best efforts, she had no clear picture as to what the psychic paper said or how to play along with the lie.  The most she could glean was that the crew seemed to think that the Doctor had been altered by the Alliance.  It was better than nothing, so she took a chance.

 

“He was taken from me.  It was the Alliance.  They did this to him, changed him,” she said, trying to sound distressed.  It wasn’t hard.

 

“How was he taken?  And to where?  What did the Alliance tell you?” Simon pressed.

 

_Tell them it was a training program._

 

Rose blinked.  There was a voice, young and female, speaking clear as day.  It wasn’t Kaylee’s voice, though, and there was nobody else in sight.  

 

“It’s a simple question,” Mal said, interrupting Rose’s thoughts.

 

“I, uh, it was…” She fell silent, mouth opening and closing mutely as she searched for an answer.  

 

_Tell them it was a training program to create a super soldier._

 

There it was again.  That voice in her head.  Was she hearing things now?  Or was it the TARDIS?  Could the TARDIS speak directly to a person?  She’d never experienced it before, but it could be.  She always assumed the ship was female, but older.  She wouldn’t sound like a teenager, would she?

 

“All right, Twenty Questions is over,” Jayne barked.  “She’s lyin’ sure as I’m standin’ here.  Lock her up and let’s wait for her beau to come around so’s we can question him instead.”

 

“No!” Rose shouted.  “It was a training program!  They wanted to create a super soldier.”

 

The room fell silent once more.  Simon and the Captain shared another guarded look.  The doctor nodded, and Mal turned back to Rose.

 

“Go on,” he said cautiously.

 

Rose faltered, but then the voice was back. 

 

_Say exactly what I show you, Bad Wolf._

 

Before Rose could consider the strange form of address, pictures flashed across her mind.  It was almost like memories, but they were sharper, and they definitely weren’t hers.  An acceptance letter.  The Doctor’s smiling face, proudly explaining his new opportunity.  Instinctively, Rose knew what to say.

 

“The Doctor is a genius.  He could be running a university or even leading a planet, but he likes to tinker.”

 

“Tinker?” Simon asked.  Rose nodded.

 

“He likes the lab, likes the precision and the order of his experiments.  He spent ten years holed up in a small lab, working for a pharmaceutical company.  Then, out of the blue, comes this letter.  He was so excited.  It invited him to enroll in an Alliance program, very prestigious, only the best and the brightest wanted.”

 

Close-up images at an imaginary letter flashed in her consciousness and she continued.

 

“The letter said the Alliance had been watching him.  He met all their qualifications:  IQ over 180, scientific background, strength and agility in the 90th percentile for his age.  It was his government calling, asking for him to serve.”

 

“All hail the great Alliance,” Mal muttered.

 

Rose acknowledged his cynicism with a sigh.  The voice in her head told her how to continue.

 

“We were stupid.  We didn’t know what the Alliance was capable of.”

 

She broke off with a wince.  Somehow the images weren’t simply images anymore.  Whoever or whatever was communicating with her seemed capable of affecting her emotions.  A deep and devastating sadness flooded her heart.  She heard herself emit a strangled gasp without realizing that she’d done so.  Again, Rose just _knew_ what to say.

 

“I knew something was wrong.” Her voice wavered under the strain of the false emotions and she paused to collect herself.  “I wasn’t allowed to see him, but his letters seemed different.  They didn’t make any sense.  I knew he was trying to tell me something.  He was in trouble.”

 

New pictures crossed her mind.  The Doctor on an exam table.  A surgical saw lowered to his skull.  Blood spraying back against the glass shield of a surgeon’s mask.  The Doctor strapped to a chair, a large needle jammed into his forehead, his echoing screams filling the room.

 

“Oh, god,” she whispered, shutting her eyes.  Of course, that didn’t stop the flood of images.  She felt a hand on her shoulder, and opened her eyes to see that Kaylee had come to stand beside her.

 

“Tell us,” she murmured.

 

“They did things to him.  Experiments.  There were needles.  So much pain.  I had to get him out.”

 

She was crying now, tears streaming down her cheeks.  Her entire body had begun to shake.  She gasped for breath.  It was all so real, whatever this was.  She couldn’t bring herself out of it.  What was happening to her?

 

“I believe her.”

 

Rose’s eyes darted up to meet Simon’s.  Immediately after the young doctor spoke, whatever power had infiltrated Rose’s mind disappeared.  She was left tearstained and dazed, but in control of her thoughts.  She let out a shaky sigh.

 

“Me too, Cap’n,” said Kaylee.  “Look at her.  Who could fake that?”

 

Mal’s stern countenance didn’t change.  He gave Rose another probing look.  Then he released a frustrated sigh.  

 

“Doc, you just get him patched up so we can get ‘em off my ship.  Whatever their problems may be, I ain’t lookin’ to make ‘em mine.”

 

“But Mal, they might need help!  When Simon—”

 

“I don’t need another doctor on this ship, lil’ Kaylee, and you best remember who’s Captain around here.  I don’t want to catch you disobeyin’ orders again.”

 

Kaylee looked away, cowed.

 

“Yes, Cap’n,” she muttered.

 

Just then, the intercom crackled to life, and the pilot’s voice filled the infirmary. 

 

“ _Captain?  We got incoming law enforcement.  Can I let them in to see our cargo_?”

 

Mal crossed the room and hit a button on a control panel.

 

“You hear back from Moop?” he said into a speaker.

 

“ _He says we’re clean.  Just a routine check_ ,” Wash responded.

 

Mal hit the button again.

 

“All right then.  Let’s get this over with.  And Wash?”

 

“ _Yes, Captain?_ ”

 

“Tell Book to stop working on dinner and make his way down to the cargo bay.  Might help move things along if the police see a man of God aboard our vessel.”

 

“ _Will do_.”

 

Mal released the intercom button, and appeared ready to give out orders when Kaylee interjected.

 

“What about the Doctor and Rose?  If what she says is true, there might be warrants out—”

 

“Fine,” Mal said.  He seemed irritated, but didn’t reject her outright.  “Keep Rose down here.  No reason for local law to go beyond the cargo bay if it’s a routine scan.  But she stays locked away until her man wakes up,” he said gruffly.  

 

“Can’t she at least stay in here with him?” Kaylee pleaded. 

 

To Rose’s surprise, the Captain’s face softened at a bit at his mechanic’s request.

 

“Fine. But I want Jayne watchin’ both of ‘em,” he grunted.

 

“On it, Mal,” Jayne nodded.

 

“And Kaylee, I want you back in the engine room.  If this ain’t routine, we might need to pull some clever maneuvers to leave the surface in a hurry.”

 

Kaylee didn’t object.  She left immediately, giving Rose a friendly smile as she went.  Mal followed, and Jayne walked out of the infirmary to take his seat on the lounge couch once more.  He kept his eyes trained on her, but at least he wasn’t pointing his gun at her anymore.

 

Rose went back to the Doctor’s side, slipping her fingers through his once again.  With her free hand, she gently stroked his forehead.  The memory of the Doctor tied down to that chair with a needle in his brain seemed to be all she could think about.  Even though the memory was false, she needed to touch him, just to reassure herself.  

 

“Are there other side effects?”

 

Rose turned, surprised by the steady voice.  She’d nearly forgotten that Simon was still in the room with her.  Off her blank look, he continued.

 

“Besides the physical modifications, are there any changes to his behavior?  His emotional or cognitive state?”

 

The young man wasn’t asking in a purely professional context.  His furrowed brow betrayed concern, as if he had a personal stake in her answer.

 

“He’s a bit off sometimes.  People think he’s odd,” she replied honestly.

 

Simon nodded.  He seemed to have expected this response.

 

“What about you?” Rose asked.  

 

Simon looked up, startled, then tried ineffectively to mask his response.

 

“What do you mean?” he stammered.

 

“Well, you recognized the card, so you must have had someone taken from you too.  Did you get them back?”

 

Simon faltered.  Rose wondered if he didn’t trust her, or if he just found it difficult to talk about.  In the end, his eyes fell upon Rose’s hand intertwined with the Doctor’s.  That seemed to bring him to a decision, because he finally spoke.

 

“It was my sister.  River,” he said quietly.

 

He looked away.  His voice was sad, almost broken, but a soft smile played at his lips.  Rose frowned.

 

“Is she all right?” she asked.

 

Simon met Rose’s eyes, but that same sad smile remained on his face.

 

“I got her back, if that’s what you’re asking.”

 

“It’s not,” she said.

 

He sighed.

 

“No, she’s not all right.”

 

Rose felt her heart break a little for the sad young man.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

 

Again, Simon smiled at her, but this time it was kinder, more open.  Rose felt guilty for lying to him, because she could tell that Simon very much appreciated having a kindred soul around, someone who he thought understood his suffering.

 

“Rose?”

 

Rose’s heart leapt in her throat.  The Doctor was stirring.  She gripped his hand tighter.

 

“Doctor?  I’m here,” she assured him.

 

“He shouldn’t be awake yet.  I gave him enough sedative to—”

 

“His body metabolizes things faster than most people’s,” Rose rushed to explain.  

 

Simon took this as fact without question, and came around to the Doctor’s other side, checking his vitals again.

 

“Rose!” the Doctor gasped.  He bolted upright, causing both Simon and Rose to jump.  

 

“Yes, I’m here.  I’m right here,” Rose repeated, squeezing his hand.

 

The Doctor’s eyes fluttered around the room, unfocused, until finally they landed on her.  His entire body relaxed.  He slumped back into the exam chair with a deep sigh.

 

“I was shot!” he exclaimed, as if it was an interesting trivia fact.  “By a sonic rifle!  How rude!”

 

Rose smiled in spite of herself.

“And stabbed,” she added.

 

“Ruder still!” he replied.

 

Her grin widened, even though she wanted to smack him for making light of something so scary.  He returned her grin with one of his own, and they allowed themselves a moment to simply register each other’s presence.

 

“Take it easy, lovebirds,” a gruff voice called out.

 

It was Jayne.  He’d entered the infirmary while the Doctor and Rose were caught up in their reunion.  The gun was back, pointed resolutely at the Doctor.

 

“Hello!  I’m the Doctor.  Who are you?” the Doctor chirped.

 

“Jayne, please don’t aim a deadly weapon at the man I’ve just revived,” Simon snapped. 

 

The mercenary growled low in his throat, but lowered his weapon.  The Doctor’s face lit up again, and he continued babbling excitedly.

 

“Thanks for that.  Hate guns, nasty things.  Oh!  And thanks as well for saving my life, I suppose!”

 

Simon gave the Doctor a tight smile, the kind that people give to strangers who seem slightly unstable.

 

“Um, no problem.  It was my pleasure,” he said formally.

 

But the Doctor was already on to other things.  His eyes darted around the room as he spoke.

 

“We’re on a ship!  Transport ship, if I’m not mistaken, which I very rarely am.  Judging by the shape of the doorways and size of the infirmary I’d say… ooh!  Firefly class!  A bit vintage by the looks of it,” he rambled on.

 

“Does he ever shut his gorram mouth?” Jayne snarled.

 

Rose smiled at the merc’s irritation.

 

“Never,” she said, fondness creeping into her voice.  

 

Simon stepped in between Jayne and the Doctor.

 

“Jayne, just relax.  There are police in the cargo bay as we speak.  Let’s all just stay quiet for the next few minutes until they clear out.  Then you can question the Doctor.  He seems willing to tell you anything you ask about and then some.”

 

Jayne didn’t seem to appreciate being told what to do by the slight young man, but he held his tongue.  With another grunt—that seemed to be the mercenary’s choice method of communication—he exited the infirmary and returned to the couch.

 

“I’ll, uh, give you two a minute,” Simon stuttered, excusing himself.  He too exited the infirmary, but slipped past Jayne down to the guest rooms that Rose had changed in earlier.

 

When she was sure there was no one in earshot, Rose spoke to the Doctor in hushed tones.

 

“Doctor, I had to use the psychic paper.  They all think that you were—”

 

“I know,” the Doctor interrupted.  He sounded very calm.

 

Rose frowned.

 

“What do you mean, you know?”

 

The Doctor gave her a piercing look.

 

“She spoke to me too, Rose, when I was unconscious.  The girl who spoke to you explained everything to me.”

 

Rose gaped for a moment.  She wasn’t crazy.  There really was a girl in her mind.

 

“Do you know who she was?  Was it the TARDIS?”

 

“No, the TARDIS isn’t capable of verbal speech,” he dismissed casually.  “This is a voice I’ve never heard before.  She entered my mind, told me that she would help me as long as I played along.  I was too weak in my unconscious state to delve into her mind, but I do know this:  She truly wants to help us.  We should trust her.”

 

Rose believed him.  If the Doctor said that the girl in their minds could be trusted, then she would trust her.

 

“Okay,” Rose agreed.  “And, just for the record, if shadowy government figures _did_ kidnap you and drive needles into your brain, I’d absolutely come to your rescue.”

 

The Doctor beamed at her in a way that made her insides go all warm and wobbly.

 

“Rose Tyler.  My hero,” he replied.

 

She smiled back at him, suddenly feeling a bit shy.  She felt gentle pressure on her fingers and looked down to see the Doctor’s hand sliding over hers.  She allowed him to turn her hand palm-up, cupping it delicately.  Then, slowly, he traced his fingertips along the lines of her palm, as if trying to memorize them.  She sighed contentedly, and allowed the tender exploration to continue for a few moments.  She looked at his own hand, the one that he regrew after his last regeneration, and felt a sudden tightness in her throat.

 

“I thought you might have to,” she paused, swallowing hard, “ _change_ again.  That your body might not survive,” she whispered.

 

The Doctor withdrew his hands, and Rose looked up, eyes a bit teary.  To her surprise, he brought his hands to her face, gently resting his thumbs below her ears, drawing feather-light circles there that soothed her almost unconsciously.  Then, very softly, he pulled her forward.  They closed their eyes at the same time, but it wasn’t their lips that met; it was their foreheads.  Their faces were so close that Rose could hear the Doctor’s steady breathing.  She could feel his breath stirring little wisps of hair around her neck.

 

“Rose Tyler,” he said quietly.  “It’s going to take a lot more than a bar fight to take me away from you.”

 

“The stuff of legends, right?” she whispered back.

 

“That’s us,” he hummed happily.

 

His thumbs stilled and he pulled back a few centimeters, just far enough to comfortably look into her eyes.  He opened his mouth, but Rose never got to hear what he meant to say, because the very next instant there was a noisy crash from the cargo bay, followed by some very loud shouting.

 

The Doctor blinked.  Rose pulled back and gave him a quizzical glance.

 

Then a gunshot rang out.  The Doctor was on his feet in an instant.  They saw Jayne and Simon clambering up the stairs to the cargo bay.

 

“You two stay put!” Jayne shouted back at them.

 

“Not a chance?” Rose said to the Doctor.

“Not a chance,” he confirmed.

 

His shirt was torn open and his jacket was still crumbled on the floor, but he straightened up authoritatively and stuck out his hand.  Rose took it without hesitation.  They strode out of the med bay doors and were about to follow Jayne when, once more, the intercom crackled.

 

“ _Change of plans, dear passengers_ ,” Wash’s voice announced.“ _You’re probably going to want to hold on to something._ ” 

 

And then the Doctor and Rose were flung to the ground.

 

**End Notes:** I know! Another cliffhanger.  This is what I do.  Bad habit, very unlikely to change, I’m afraid.  But on the bright side,  I heard that for every comment you leave, the powers that be save a baby whale!*

 

*This fact might have been totally made up by me just now for completely selfish purposes. 

 


	6. Chapter Six

 

**CHAPTER SIX**

 

When Mal was a kid of about sixteen, he used to go off by himself.  After his chores were done, he’d walk out into the open prairie behind his mother’s ranch and find a place to set down.  Lying on his back in the tall grasses, he was swallowed up from view.  The wind made the thin green stalks sway to and fro in a lazy, aimless sort of way, and the hot sun seeped in between them to bathe his body in its warmth.  He’d lie there, feeling satisfied after a long day’s work, and look up through the grass at that clear blue sky.  

 

Some days he’d stay until the sun went down, lost in the twinkling dots of light that peppered the blackness of space.   He knew even then that they called to him, that he wasn’t meant to stay on that ranch forever.  He knew it even more surely when the Alliance began reaching out to the Rim planets.  

 

The purple bellies arrived on Shadow later that year.  Then more.  Then more.  They marched through the dirt roads of the planet, offering the bright light of civilization—for the small price of independence.  The people wouldn’t hear of it, of course.  They were hardworking farmers and tradesmen, fiercely self-reliant and proud, and they didn’t need any government agency giving them handouts.  

 

When the Alliance declared war on those who would reject their “kind offer,” Mal was the first in his town to sign up to fight back.  His mother didn’t try to stop him.  She didn’t even cry.  She just nodded and told him to come back in one piece.  

 

It wasn’t like her not to follow her own advice.

 

All that remained of Shadow now was a smoldering black rock, hanging in space as a warning to others:  Resist and perish.

 

The Alliance won.  They won the whole damn war, and they took his home away.  So, Mal found himself a ship and took to the skies.  But sometimes, when he looked into the infinite blackness of space, Mal felt like he was back in that prairie, kicking back after a hard day’s work.

 

Then there were times like this, when he was forced to accept that the ‘Verse was a different place than it was when he was a kid.

 

“Piece of cake, right Sir?” Zoe said to his left.

 

“We’ll see,” he grimly replied.

 

Mal gritted his teeth as he watched the cargo bay doors lower to reveal two men, one tall and one short.  Next to him, he saw Zoe tense as well.  The pair wore the uniforms of local police.  They weren’t Alliance, but they were near enough.  They were complicit in the Alliance’s work.  And now they were on his gorram ship.

 

“Howdy, boys!” he called out, forcing a cheerful smile onto his face.

 

“Captain… Harbatkin,” The Tall One read off of his clipboard.

 

Mal didn’t flinch at the false name.  He’d never changed the ship’s registration after he bought it.  Whoever Captain Harbatkin was, he hadn’t left _Serenity_ in the best condition, so Mal figured that the least the bastard could do was throw in his identity to ease some traveling woes.

 

“That’s me,” he offered, holding out his hand.

 

The Short One took it and gave it a firm shake.  The Tall One merely looked back at his clipboard.

 

“We’re here to inspect the cargo that you picked up on this moon today.”

 

“You’re lookin’ at it,” the Captain replied, nodding at the stacked crates to their left.

 

The Short One moved without hesitation, but The Tall One stayed behind.  Mal knew this procedure well.  It was time for the not-so-subtle Interrogation of the Dubious-Looking Captain. 

 

“Who supplied you with this cargo?”

 

“The Alliance,” Mal said.

 

“Don’t get cute,” The Tall One snapped.

 

“Haven’t been accused of that for quite some time,” Mal smirked.  When he got no reaction, he continued brusquely.  

 

“I just mean that these bugs are part of the Alliance Agricultural Outreach Program, scheduled for Paquin.  Official Alliance cargo, born and bred in a government lab to help spread the benefits of civilization across the ‘Verse.”

 

He couldn’t help the sarcasm that slipped into his tone by the end of his reply.  However, the Tall One didn’t seem to be paying him much attention; his eyes were fluttering about the cargo bay.

 

“It’s not unusual for a ship like this to take on some less savory cargo from time to time.  Firefly transports are known for their nooks and crannies.  It’d be easy to stash contraband in places that a simple search would never uncover,” The Tall One said.

 

Mal raised an eyebrow.

 

“Well, then I guess I’m lucky that this is a simple search.”

 

“Sir,” Zoe said tensely.

 

Mal forced a laugh.

 

“I’m kiddin’!  These guys can take a joke, can’t ya fellas?”

 

His question was met with stony silence.

 

“I think you’ll find our captain’s sense of humor refreshing, given time.” 

 

All four occupants craned their necks to see Shepherd Book descending the metal steps.  

 

“What a shame we don’t _have_ time,” The Tall One returned tersely.  “Let me get back to the point.  These goods didn’t come directly from the Alliance.  Who was your middle man?”

 

“Fella goes by the name of Moop,” Mal said without hesitation.

 

The Short One looked up sharply from his intense perusal of the crates and shot a significant glance at his associate.  The moment did not slip past the notice any of the crew.

 

“Well, this must be the first time Moop’s ever peddled legitimate wares,” The Tall One scoffed.

 

“I wouldn’t know.  It’s my first time doin’ business with him,” Mal breezed.

 

“But not your first time doing business with someone who likes to fly below the Alliance’s radar,” The Tall One said, almost too quickly.

 

Mal frowned.  His hands clenched into fists once more, and he could feel his patience dwindling.

 

“Is there something wrong with the cargo, officers?” Book asked.  His calming voice was as straightforward and reasonable as ever.

 

The Tall One tilted his head slightly and continued speaking to the room at large.

 

“It just makes a man wonder—why would the Alliance suddenly decide to give Moop the business?”

 

“Who can predict why the Alliance does what it does?  We’re just followin’ orders,” Mal said dryly.

 

The Tall One very nearly smirked.

 

“Oh?  Is that what you do?  Follow orders?” he asked.

 

Once again, Book interjected a measured response before Mal could let his ire get the best of him.

 

“Regular merchant vessels tend to shy away from the Rim planets.  They can be a bit… rougher.  Moop is presumably in contact with the sort of ships that aren’t quite as squeamish,” the preacher offered.

 

The Tall One nodded, as if in approval of this deduction.

 

“Like _Serenity_ ,” he said.

 

Book nodded, and the Tall Man continued.

 

“So then this cargo must be very, very important.  I mean, if the Alliance is willing to deal with the likes of _Moop_ to get it into the hands of those simple, uncivilized folks,” he said nastily.

 

Mal could hold his tongue no longer.

 

"Look, if there’s somethin’ fishy with this cargo, then it’s news to me.  And if there ain’t, we’d best be leavin’ the surface so we can make planetfall on schedule.”

 

Suddenly The Short One spoke up.

 

“Alpha, we haven’t got time for this,” he said.  Mal would have expected the officer to sound bored or irritated, but he didn’t.  He sounded anxious.

 

The Tall One nodded in understanding, and when he turned back to Mal, the captain saw the same urgency reflected in the man’s expression.

 

“Look, Captain, we know who you are,” he started, and Mal tensed.  

 

The officer continued, speaking in clipped tones that brooked no contradiction.

 

“We know what kind of ship this is.  We know who you keep company with—a certain _doctor_.  And because we know all this, we know that _Serenity_ isn’t fit to be hauling this cargo.”

 

Mal narrowed his eyes as the true nature of this ‘routine inspection’ became clear.  He had two Alliance-loving zealots on his ship, telling him that his ship wasn’t good enough to transport precious government supplies.  It was just like local law enforcement to get power crazy and step all over decent people trying to make a living.

 

“Well, I got a few problems with that assessment, _friend_ , and I’d gladly list ‘em out for you, but as your partner over there mentioned, we ain’t got the time,” the Captain said frostily.  “So if there’s nothin’ wrong with the cargo, I think we’ll just be on our way.”

 

The Short One spoke again, his eyes glued to the yellow stars of the Alliance seal that adorned the topmost crate. 

 

“There’s everything wrong with your cargo,” he said gravely.

 

Footsteps rang out on the grating of the catwalk, and Mal tore his eyes from the short officer to see Wash above them.

 

“Uh, Captain?” the pilot said uncertainly.

 

“Really not the time, Wash.  I’m dealin’ with the police,” Mal nearly growled.

 

Wash ran his hands through his blond mane and began again, hesitantly.

 

“Well, that’s the thing, Mal.  See, I just got a wave from the police.”

 

The Short One shot another urgent glance at The Tall One.  Zoe frowned and tried to catch Mal’s eye, but the Captain was waiting for Wash to continue.  After a moment’s pause, he did.

 

“They want to inform us that they’ll be performing a routine cargo check in about twenty minutes.”

 

There was the briefest of pauses.  Then Mal spoke softly.

 

“Now ain’t that strange.”

 

A loud clicking sound filled the air, and in a split second, Mal and Zoe each had a gun cocked and fixed on one of the intruders.  The men froze.  Mal spoke without taking his eyes off The Tall One.

 

“Wash, get back up front.  We’re takin’ off without further delay.”

 

“What should I tell local law?” the pilot asked.

 

“Tell ‘em whatever you gotta to make ‘em think we’re stickin’ around.  You just aim us toward Paquin and get us off this rock ‘fore we get tied up in any more commotion.”

 

Mal heard Wash turn and go, and he gestured at The Tall One with the muzzle of his weapon. 

 

“Who are you?” he demanded.

 

When the man hesitated, Mal lunged, pushing him to the ground.  The captain leaned forward with his elbow, pinning the man to the metal floor by his neck, making him gasp for breath

 

“I asked you a question,” he hissed.

 

“Don’t you get it?  It’s the Great Seal!” The Tall One wheezed painfully, his eyes wide.

 

Mal pressed harder on the man’s throat.

 

“ _Cao_ your gorram Alliance seal!” he shouted.

 

The Tall One’s eyes rolled back in his head, but he managed to let out a desperate wail.

 

“Do it, Beta!”

 

 

The next thing Mal knew, there was a loud _BOOM_ and the cargo bay was full of smoke.  He looked up, which gave The Tall One the opportunity to bring his knee into Mal’s stomach.  With a groan, Mal released the man’s throat, and he disappeared into the billowing black clouds.  Mal heard Zoe and Book shouting, and then a single gunshot rang out.  He could just make out the orange edges of tall flames in the direction of the cargo.  

 

Crawling on his hands and knees, Mal felt his way towards the intercom panel on the north wall.  He reached it just as he heard Jayne and Simon shouting questions into the smoke.  He jammed his thumb into the button and croaked out an order.

 

“WASH, TAKE US UP!  WE’LL THROW THESE SONS OF BITCHES OUT THE AIR HATCH IF WE HAVE TO.  JUST GET US IN THE AIR!”

 

“ _Change of plans, dear passengers_ ,” Wash’s voice rang out.“ _You’re probably going to want to hold on to something._ ” 

 

He braced himself for liftoff.  He heard the metallic sound of the cargo bay doors closing followed by, curiously, the sound of compressed air.  A second later, Book came into view.  He was spraying down the smoking remains of the crates with the ship’s rusty old fire extinguisher.

 

The Captain’s eyes scanned the cargo bay, seeking the two imposters.

 

“They escaped out the doors before they closed.  I could just make them out through the smoke,” Book wheezed.

 

Jayne and Simon came into view as well.

 

“Did somebody shoot the cops?” Jayne asked, looking forlorn.

 

Zoe tried to speak, coughed, and then simply gestured at the floor with her gun.  Mal looked at the spot she was pointing to and saw several pools of red liquid.  He gave her a curt nod.  Message received.  She’d managed to shoot and injure one of them before they escaped.

 

“Aw, Zoe!  Vera an’ I’ve been itching for action all day!” Jayne whined, clutching his gun.

 

If a person could cough scornfully, Zoe did it then.

 

“How bad’s the cargo?” Mal asked.

 

“Never mind that; is anyone hurt?” Simon interjected.

 

Zoe coughed again, and then managed to speak.

 

“It was a small explosive.  Smoke bomb.  Only took out the crate it hit.  Shepherd managed to stop it from spreading.”

 

“I asked—” 

 

“We’re all fine, Simon,” Mal cut him off.

 

“What happened?” 

 

Mal looked up to see Inara rushing down from the direction of her shuttle, silk robe fluttering behind her.  Before Mal could respond, he swung around again to see Rose and the Doctor coming from the direction of the med bay. 

 

“It would appear we’re running away,” the Doctor replied.

 

Mal was surprised to see the man up and about, so it took him a second to register his words, but when he did, Mal bristled.

 

“We’re not running away!  We’re just… leaving a little more suddenly and quickly than planned,” he said defensively.

 

“Wait a minute, you can’t just take off!” Rose said.  “What are the Doctor and I supposed to do?  Our ship—”

 

“Some thanks I get for savin’ your friend’s life,” Mal interrupted.

 

Simon raised his hand a little bit.  “Actually, I think that was me,” he ventured.

 

“I’m just sayin’, a little gratitude would be nice,” Mal pressed, ignoring the young doctor.

 

“Yeah, heck of a deal.  Do you always throw in a free kidnapping?” Rose said.

 

Mal’s eyebrows shot skyward.

 

“Kidnapping?” he balked.  “Listen, it’s your fault we’re in this mess!”

 

“How do you figure?” Rose asked.

 

Mal pointed at the man standing beside her.

 

“Those men, whoever they were, they said they knew we had a ‘certain doctor’ onboard.”

 

“And how do you know it was _my_ doctor and not yours?” Rose demanded.

 

“I—”

 

Mal stopped mid-sentence.  The thought hadn’t even occurred to him.

 

“‘Cause from he’s told me, Simon’s got just as much to hide from law enforcement as we do,” Rose added.

 

Mal turned to Simon, who was staring contemplatively at Rose.

 

“You told her about your sister?” Mal asked.

 

Simon looked back at the captain.

 

“I trust her,” he said simply.

 

Mal maintained his steady gaze.

 

“You’d better,” he said.

 

Suddenly, Wash’s voice echoed through the cargo room.

 

“ _Aaaand we’re just breaking atmo now, folks.  That’s another successful escape from almost certain doom by Washburn Airlines.  Don’t forget to tip your pilot on your way out._ ”

 

“Well, we’re not going back now.  Don’t worry, Rose.  We’ll hitch a ride back from someone later,” the Doctor announced.

 

Mal frowned.  The man sounded perfectly cheerful, hardly like someone who had just escaped death and was now stuck with people of questionable moral character.  

 

“Mal, what happened?” Inara repeated.

 

He sighed and wiped his hand over his face.

 

“Perhaps this is a tale that can be rehashed over a nice hot meal?” Book suggested.  “Dinner’s just about ready.  Let’s head up to the kitchen.”

 

“Right, I’ll just get my clothes sorted, shall I?” the Doctor asked.

 

Indeed, Mal saw now that the Doctor’s shirt was torn open and his coat was missing.  The Captain was so weary that he didn’t even order Jayne to watch their guest.  He just nodded absently and watched the Doctor and Rose disappear again.  Then he followed the rest of his crew upstairs to the kitchen.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translation:
> 
> Cao = Fuck
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: You know what I heard? People who leave kudos and comments are, on average, 50% more lovely and intelligent than those who don’t. Curious, isn’t it?


	7. Chapter Seven

 

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

 

 

As Rose watched the crew of _Serenity_ head up to the kitchen for dinner, she felt a light pressure on her hand and looked down to see the Doctor lacing her fingers through hers.  Her Doctor was here, safe and sound and holding her hand.  She smiled at him.  

“I’m so glad you’re all right,” she said.

 

He gave her hand a quick squeeze.

 

“Come on,” he said, and he tugged her toward the door.

 

When he entered the med bay, he released her hand and snatched his coat from the floor.  He dug both hands into the bottomless pockets, searching, but frowned when he came up empty.  

 

“Rose, have you seen my—”

 

“Sonic and psychic,” she filled in, holding both items out to him.

 

“Brilliant!” he exclaimed, snatching them out of her grasp.  He stuffed the psychic paper in his pocket and held the sonic out.

 

“Could you help me?  I need to reattach the buttons.”

 

It was then that Rose fully realized the Doctor was as undressed as she’d ever seen him (Well, save for one brief and frenzied moment when she had to dress him in a pair of borrowed men’s pajamas after he regenerated.  But she was hardly looking then.  Not really).  His suit coat and tie lay discarded on the floor, leaving him in only his pinstriped trousers and a dress shirt.  The shirt had been torn open and the undershirt beneath jaggedly cut in half by surgical scissors. 

 

“But first, we need to find them,” he said.

 

Rose blinked.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“The buttons.  The sonic can reattach them; it can’t recreate them,” the Doctor explained, already stooping to search the floor.

 

“Oh, right.  Yeah,” Rose replied, following suit.

 

It took them a few moments to locate the tiny white buttons, but they did it.  The Doctor poured his into Rose’s cupped hands and set the sonic down on the examination chair.  

 

“Might as well just remove this,” he murmured.  Before Rose could ask what he was referring to, the Doctor slipped his shirt from his shoulders and removed the tattered rag that was his undershirt.  

 

He snatched the sonic back up and used it to clean the wide red stains on his dress shirt.  Rose stared at him, unable to stop herself from examining the pale lines of his torso as he worked.  He wasn’t quite as skinny as she’d expected.  All of that running they did must have built up his muscles.  

 

She realized, with a blush, that she was ogling.  What she was experiencing was pure curiosity, she assured herself.  It was like seeing Santa Claus out of his red suit.

 

“Are you all right?” the Doctor asked.

 

Her eyes shot up to meet his.  His eyebrows were drawn together in concern, and she cleared her throat, embarrassed.

 

“Fine!  Yeah, fine,” she stuttered.

 

He nodded, appeased, and slipped his arms back through the now-clean sleeves.  He held his hands out for the buttons, which she carefully transferred.  He fiddled with his shirt for a minute, then held the first button up to its proper place.

 

Rose reached for the sonic screwdriver.

 

“So just, you hold the buttons and I…”

 

“Setting 3,982b,” he supplied.

 

Rose arched an eyebrow.

 

“Setting 3,982b is the button reattachment setting?”

 

He nodded matter-of-factly.

 

“And 3,982a does what?” she asked.

 

“Finds the perfect popcorn setting on any microwave,” he said proudly, as if this was the ultimate proof of his genius.

 

She smiled and shook her head at him.

 

“You’re mad.”

 

“Mad, _and_ a fan of unburned popcorn,” he grinned.

 

“‘Kay, hold still,” she said, adjusting the sonic.

 

A quip zap later, the button was perfectly reattached.  They kept this up through several repetitions until Rose’s eye caught the edge of a jagged wound.  Rather then aiming the sonic at the next button, she reached out unsteadily and brushed her fingertips against the stitches.

 

He inhaled sharply.

 

“Sorry, did that hurt?” she asked, pulling away rapidly.

 

“No,” he said.  They looked at each other silently for a moment before the Doctor inhaled again.  “Just took me by surprise, is all.”

 

Rose apologized anyway, and they returned to their task.  In mere seconds, the Doctor was completely refastened and had all his layers reapplied.  He slung his long overcoat on his arm and they made their way back to the cargo bay.

 

Inside the large, cavernous room, the scorched crate still smoldered and gave off a horrible burnt smell.

 

“What do you think’s in the crates?” Rose asked, covering her nose with her sleeve.

 

“Let’s find out.”

 

He jumped on top of one crate and hopped along until he was crouching beside the one that was hit by the smoke bomb.  Carefully peeling back the splintered plastic of one edge, he reached inside and fished around.  He pulled out a closed fist.

 

“What is it?” Rose called up.

 

The Doctor reached into his coat and put on his glasses.  He gingerly opened his hand and peered closely at what looked like a handful of black dust.

 

“I think they _were_ bugs,” he called back.

 

Rose pulled a face. 

 

“Bugs?” 

 

“Yup.  Oh!  Yes, bugs.  Here’s a leg,” he said, holding it up, though it was too tiny for her to properly make out.

 

“Why would anyone want to burn a bunch of bugs?” she asked.

 

Doctor aimed his screwdriver at the dust and scanned it.  He examined the results and shrugged.

 

“I don’t know.  There’s nothing odd about them that the sonic can detect.  Maybe slightly higher-than-normal silicon content, but that’s probably residue from the plastic crates.  Oh!”

 

“Doctor?” Rose called, alarmed.

 

“I think there’s a live one here,” he said, reaching back into the crate.  “Here she is!  Stubborn little thing,” he said, holding the squirming insect up.

 

“Anything odd about it?” Rose asked.

 

The Doctor scanned it quickly with the sonic.

 

“Nope.  Just lucky,” he put the beetle down and it crawled away.  “They’re called assassin beetles.  You have them on Earth in your time.”

 

Rose frowned. 

 

“Assassin beetles?” 

 

The Doctor waved off her concern.

 

“They sound worse than they are.  They’re actually quite a helpful species, great for eating garden pests.  They have an abridged metamorphosis:  Egg, nymph, adult.  These little things are nearly out of their nymph stage.”

 

Rose squinted up at him. 

 

“So nothing unusual, then?”

 

“Not that I can see.  Maybe the Captain will be able to tell us more,” he replied.

 

“To dinner, then?” Rose asked.

 

The Doctor folded his glasses and replaced them carefully in his suit pocket.  Then he hopped back down the staggered crates and landed with a loud thud in front of her.

 

“To dinner!” he announced.

 

She rolled her eyes at him, but couldn’t help smiling at his exuberance.  When they made it up the stairs, they followed the sounds of mingling voices and found the kitchen.  Shepherd Book stood next to a long wooden table, spooning out servings of what looked like roasted vegetables.  The rest of the crew sat in mismatched chairs along the sides of the table, all talking over each other.  

 

As Rose took her first tentative step through the doorway, the voices abruptly stopped.  Then a single chair scraped back and a young girl stood.  Rose didn’t recognize her.  In fact, she was the only unfamiliar face in the room.  Tall and slender with dark hair in limp waves down her shoulders, she looked younger than Rose.  

 

“The Oncoming Storm and the Bad Wolf have arrived,” she announced.

 

Rose gasped.  She recognized that voice.  It was the one in her head, the one that fed her the story to go along with the psychic paper.  The Doctor gave her hand a furtive squeeze, and Rose realized that he meant for her to stay quiet.  

 

“Right.  River, this is Rose and the Doctor,” Simon said after a brief pause.  He shot Rose an apologetic look, as if to say, ‘she doesn’t know what she’s doing.’

 

“Hello,” Rose said, giving a little wave.

 

“Sit next to me,” the young girl ordered.

 

Rose paused in the doorway until the Doctor gave her hand another tug.  He grinned as he plopped down next to River, and Rose slipped into the seat on his other side.  This put her across from Kaylee, who looked a bit sweatier than the last time they’d spoken, but no less cheerful.

 

“Hi Doctor!  We’ve met, but you were all bleeding and unconscious at the time, so I guess I should introduce myself properly.  I’m Kaylee,” she said.

 

The Doctor stood and reached across the table to take her hand.

 

“Doctor, Kaylee is the ship’s mechanic,” Rose supplied. 

 

“Lovely to meet you Kaylee, and you’re a mechanic!  Oh, that’s brilliant!  I’d love to see the engine room on a ship like this.  She’s _beautiful_ ,” the Doctor gushed.

 

Kaylee blushed crimson.

 

“Oh!  I’d love to—I mean, if the Cap’n doesn’t mind—can’t see why he would seein’ as you’re so—She _is_ beautiful, ain’t she?” the girl babbled giddily.

 

“Kaylee, honey, breath,” Zoe said with a smirk.

 

Book came around the table to serve the two late arrivals their vegetables.

 

“Doctor, it’s good to see you getting around,” the Shepherd said.

 

He replaced the pan on the stove before taking a seat beside Jayne.

 

“Well, I had excellent medical care,” the Doctor replied, giving Simon a nod.

 

River took a basket of warm rolls from Inara.  Refusing any for herself, she passed it along to the Doctor, who distractedly took one.  

 

“Let’s get back to business,” Mal said gruffly.

 

“Well, all we know is that these two men weren’t police and that they wanted to destroy the cargo.  We don’t know who they are or why they did it,” Book summarized.

 

“Has anybody explored the theory that they’re undercover pest control specialists?”  Wash suggested.  “Ooh!  Or really big spiders in human suits!” 

 

River reached over and plucked the roll from the Doctor’s plate. 

 

“Little spies,” she said, before biting off a huge piece of the roll.

 

The Doctor stared at her, bemused, and Rose gave a little giggle beside him.

 

“Well, they referred to each other by codenames,” Zoe said.

 

“Alpha and Beta,” Mal added.

 

Book frowned, considering this.

 

“Sounds military.  Or at least, it betrays some level of organization,” he commented.

 

“And we know why they wanted to destroy the cargo.  They said _Serenity_ wasn’t fit to ship it.  Pro-Alliance nuts,” Mal said.

 

“Maybe,” the Doctor said around a mouthful of squash.

 

Mal frowned.

 

“Sorry, Doctor.  You know somethin’ worth sharin’?” he asked.

 

The Doctor held up his hands.

 

“No, not at all,” he replied.  “Just don’t want to make any hasty assumptions.”

 

“The one that you had pinned down, what did he shout when you asked for his name?” Zoe asked Mal.

 

“He was goin’ on about the great Alliance seal,” Mal replied.

 

“And they mentioned the Doctor?” Jayne asked.

 

Rose straightened up in her chair.

 

“They mentioned _a_ doctor.  Could’ve been Simon,” she reminded them.

 

“And as far as you know, the cargo’s legitimate,” Simon said.

 

“Just Alliance bugs,” Zoe confirmed.

 

“I don’t rightly know what we got on board, but we’re hard up for the coin, and we can’t back outta this deal,” Mal said.  “There’s still a half-dozen crates full of healthy beetles, and they’re makin’ it to Paquin.”

 

“And then on to Persephone,” Inara said softly.

 

Rose saw Mal’s jaw tense.

 

“That’s the plan,” he replied.  Whatever was set to happen on Persephone seemed to put him in an even fouler mood, because when he turned to the Doctor, his eyes burned with contempt.  

 

“So, we’ve heard Rose’s version of events.  All three of them,” he added pointedly.  “How about yours, Doctor?” 

 

The Doctor put down his fork and cleared his throat.

 

“Not much to tell, really.  I think you already know this tale better than you’d like.  Shadowy government program, experiments to create a super soldier, grand rescue plot.”

 

The Doctor let his words hang in the room, not offering any more detail.

 

“How long were you in captivity?” Simon asked.

 

“Oh, years.  But I always knew that Rose would come for me,” he replied.

 

He turned to her when he said his last sentence, and Rose felt her heart stop for a moment.  Although their story was a lie, she knew that he believed those last words unwaveringly.  After all, she came back when he sent her away in the TARDIS on Satellite Five, didn’t she?  She told him that she would never leave him, and she meant it.

 

“You seem normal,” Simon continued.

 

Rose smirked.

 

“Does he?  Just give him time,” she said.

 

The Doctor’s mouth dropped open in mock outrage.

 

“Oi!  The cheek of you!” he admonished.

 

She stuck her tongue out at him, and was delighted when his fake scowl broke into a wide grin.

 

“I’m fine,” the Doctor said, turning back to Simon.  “ _Welllll_ , I say fine, I should say recovered.  _Welllll_ , as recovered as one can be after…”

 

Simon broke in again.

 

“I just mean, River is…” 

 

His voice trailed off and he looked at his sister with such concern, such pain, that Rose felt an urge to walk around the table and give him a hug.

 

“I’m broken,” River said simply.

 

Simon winced.  

 

“Broken?  Doctor?” Rose said questioningly.

 

But the Doctor wouldn’t look at her.  He too was staring at River now, the same haunted, pained expression on his face.

 

“For a child to have to go through that… I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

 

And then it hit Rose; the images that she saw, the visions that the young girl put into her head to help her in the med bay, they weren’t fictional, they were altered memories.  It wasn’t the Doctor strapped to a chair with needles in his brain; it was River.  A teenaged girl, poked and prodded and tortured by a government lab.  Rose’s eyes flooded with tears, and she found herself staring at River now, too, wondering how someone so young and innocent could survive such cruelty.

 

River spoke, her voice sounding far too small and fragile.  It was a voice full of pain and certainty.

 

“My brain works too much and not enough.  I see everything, but I miss the things a girl should see.  I’m not a girl at all anymore.  I’m a gun.”

 

Rose clutched at the Doctor’s arm, willing him to fix this, to make this poor girl better.

 

“You’re not a gun.  Do you hear me, River?” he said fiercely.  Rose thought she might have even seen tears in his eyes, but she couldn’t be sure.  Rose knew that he must be a mess of rage and sorrow at this moment.  As much as the Doctor hated violence and cruelty, his hate was multiplied by a thousand when it involved children.

 

“You are not a gun, because guns don’t have this, do they?” He pointed to his head.  “Or this.”  He pointed to his left heart.

 

River considered the Doctor for a moment.  Then she made a face that communicated deep annoyance and rolled her eyes.

 

“The girl is not an idiot.  She constructed a metaphor,” she said impatiently.

 

Rose pulled back a little in surprise, but the Doctor shook his head.

 

“Right.  Of course.  Shame on me for speaking to you as I would a child,” the Doctor conceded.  “Can we start again?”

 

After a moment, River nodded.

 

“You believe that you are, essentially, a weapon,” the Doctor said.

 

She nodded again. 

 

“The girl is a gun.”

 

“Do you believe that your humanity was stripped away?” the Doctor asked.

 

River paused, considering his question 

 

“My mind works differently than a human mind,” she said carefully.

 

The Doctor smiled.

 

“Does your heart work differently than a human heart?”

 

River opened her mouth, but no sound came out.  She shut it and peered curiously at the Doctor.

 

“Do you still love your brother?” he clarified.

 

“Yes,” she answered without hesitation.

 

“In the same way that you did before you were taken?” he pressed.

 

River looked over at Simon.  Her brother seemed wary but intrigued by the dialogue unfolding before him.  River appeared to be lost in reminiscences, though of what, Rose couldn’t know.  All she could see was the softening of the girl’s features.

 

“Even more now,” River said finally.

 

“Then did not your captivity in some ways _enhance_ your humanity?” the Doctor asked.

 

River’s attention snapped back to the Doctor.  She seemed surprised and annoyed.

 

“It also enhanced my inhumanity,” she countered.

 

“How so?” he prompted.

 

“I am programmed to kill,” River replied.

 

An eerie silence descended over the table.  Several crewmembers shifted uncomfortably in their seats.  Rose’s mind was spinning, but the Doctor voiced the question at the forefront of her mind.

 

“And have you?  Killed?” the Doctor asked.

 

River nodded remorselessly.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Who did you kill?” the Doctor pushed.

 

River’s eyes snapped to Kaylee.

 

“Men.  They would hurt Kaylee.  They were hurting her.  I saw it about to happen.  In my head.”

 

River closed her eyes.  She brought her arm up as if she was aiming a weapon.  Then she jerked her hand to three different spots in quick succession.

 

“No power in the ‘Verse can stop me,” she whispered.

 

The Doctor’s voice brought her back to the present.

 

“So, you killed to save your friend?”

 

“Yes,” she answered.

 

“And did they program you to do that?” the Doctor asked.

 

River blinked.

 

“No.”

 

The Doctor was smiling again.

 

“Then I postulate that if you _are_ a weapon, you’re not _their_ weapon.  And no weapon on any planet kills _only_ to protect, so I further postulate that you aren’t a weapon at all.”

 

River’s eyes grew wide.  

 

“The girl is not a gun,” she murmured, awed.

 

“The girl is a girl,” the Doctor replied.

 

River’s eyes suddenly focused on the Doctor with extreme intensity.

 

“And what about you?” she asked sharply.

 

Rose leaned forward.

 

“He’s _not_ a girl,” the blond joked.

 

“He’s not a man,” River snapped.

 

“River!” Simon admonished, but River paid him no attention.  Her eyes were still trained on the Doctor.

 

But the Doctor didn’t look offended.  He ignored Simon and calmly replied.

 

“No, I’m not a man.”

 

“Are _you_ a gun?” she asked him.

 

The Doctor’s expression grew serious.  Rose knew that he was thinking of his home planet and the Time War.  He was reflecting back on all of the destruction he’d been forced to bring about:  the Slitheen and the Daleks, the Gelth and the Krillitanes.  She could feel the sadness and loss rippling off of him, and she took his hand under the table.

 

“I hope not,” he said softly . “And _I_ hope you all saved room for dessert,” Book interrupted.

He looked anxious to relieve the tensio n in the room, and sure enough, smiles broke out across the table.

 

“Shepherd got us a special treat on the surface,” Kaylee beamed.

 

“As if fresh vegetables weren’t enough, Shepherd.  What did you manage to get your hands on?” Zoe asked.

 

“Baked pears in sweet sauce,” he revealed, brandishing a dark pan with steam rising off it.

 

The Doctor paled, and Rose gave him a playful shove.

 

“Don’t look so terrified.  You don’t have to eat them,” she said.

 

“You don’t like pears?” Inara asked.

 

“ _Hate_.  Hate is the word,” the Doctor corrected.  “I hate pears.  Rubbishy things.  Why is there even a need for pears when there are apples?  Pears are playing at being apples and failing.  Foul, disgusting—”

 

He broke off when he realized that everyone was staring at him.

 

“Was I being rude again?” he asked Rose.

 

“You were,” she confirmed.

 

“Sorry, Shepherd Book.  They look lovely.”

 

“I’ll have your portion,” Jayne said happily.

 

As they ate, the crew began to talk about less somber things.  Mal and Zoe shared the tale of their platoon’s battle against a litter of particularly fierce stray kittens, Kaylee revealed that she stole her father’s Aurora 80-10 for a joyride on her sixteenth birthday, and Jayne told a story about a mishap in a backwoods whorehouse that made Simon’s ears turn pink.  Rose, in turn, told the crew about the time that she, the Doctor, and Jack visited the planet called Women Wept and walked under the frozen waves that soared a hundred feet into the air.

 

“Women Wept?  Never heard of it.  Is it a border world?” Wash asked.

 

Rose’s eyes widened when she realized her mistake.

 

“Oh, folks know it by different names.  Terraforming failed there, obviously.  People don’t really visit anymore—too cold,” the Doctor covered smoothly.  “Say, I’m knackered.  Is anyone else absolutely exhausted?”

 

“It _is_ pretty late,” Simon noted.

 

“Simon, why don’t you show these two to their room while the rest of us clean up in here,” Mal said.

 

“Room?  Singular?” Rose asked.

 

“You’re not old fashioned are you?  Because we’ve only got the one spare guest room,” Mal said, looking suspiciously at Rose.

 

“It’s fine.  Rose likes to put on a show of modesty.  Very British.  But of course we share, _darling_.  Been together for years now,” the Doctor said, giving her a chiding look.

 

Rose forced  a wide smile.

 

“Of course." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes: And so it begins. Just in case you were wondering if this was, in fact, a Ten/Rose fic, there ya go! Much more to come.
> 
> Please leave me your kudos and comments! I really appreciate everyone’s feedback.


	8. Chapter Eight

**CHAPTER E** **IGHT**

Rose didn’t know why she was being so ridiculous.  It wasn’t as if she and the Doctor had never shared a room before.  In fact, on one overcrowded planet she’d been forced to bunk with both the Doctor _and_ Jack (although Jack quickly found someone else to share a bed with).  It was always a non-issue.  The Doctor never even lay down, always finding some saving-the-world business to attend to while the inferior human fulfilled her need for sleep.   Maybe, Rose thought, the difference this time was that she and the Doctor were actually playing at being a couple.  There was something distinctly _un-Doctorly_ about hearing him call her ‘darling.’  

 

“It’s not exactly bigger on the inside, is it?” she asked, for want of anything better to say.

 

She watched the Doctor survey the tiny room.  It contained a twin bed next to a very narrow desk.  Across from the bed was a sink and small vanity.  The whole room was probably about three meters in length and two and a half in width.

 

“Oh, it’s fine,” he concluded.  “Besides, I don’t plan on doing much sleeping here.”

 

He fell backwards onto the bed with an audible _plop_ , giving Rose a moment to conceal her reaction.  He really was an alien.  He had absolutely no idea the scenarios that his statement had just conjured in her mind.

 

Rose stepped carefully into the room and hoisted herself onto the desk.

 

“The crew seems nice,” she said, changing the subject.

 

“Some of them,” the Doctor said absently.

 

“Yeah, the Captain’s a bit intense,” Rose conceded, swinging her feet beneath her.  “But I s’pose that’s the way you have to be out here.  Wild frontier and all that.”

 

“I’m more worried about the man stroking his gun throughout dinner,” the Doctor said, folding his hands beneath his head.

 

“Jayne?”

 

“That’s the one,” the Doctor said to the ceiling.

 

Rose shrugged.

 

“Kaylee seems to think he’s all right.”

 

The Doctor smiled, sneaking a glance at her from the corner of his eye.

 

“She reminds me of you, you know,” he said.

 

“Who?  Kaylee?”

 

“Yup,” he replied, popping the ‘P.’  “All that capacity to see good in people.  Just happy to go out and see the universe.  That’s Rose Tyler all over.”

 

Rose returned his smile.

 

“I’m okay with that comparison,” she said.

 

She tried to cover a yawn with a cough.  The Doctor caught it, of course.  He stood abruptly.

 

“Off to bed with you, then.”

 

He pulled her off the desk and guided her to the bed.  Once he had her settled under the covers, he gave the quilt a satisfied pat and moved to stand.  His exit wasn’t unexpected, but Rose found herself sitting up and taking hold of his hand.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

 

“I want to examine those crates again.  I’ll be to bed later.”

 

She swallowed hard at his words.  Before she could stop herself, she tugged on his captive hand.

 

“C’mere,” she murmured.

 

The Doctor allowed her to pull him down next to her on the bed.  He shifted obediently so that she could rest her head on his chest. 

 

“I saw you almost die today,” she said, her throat suddenly tight.  

 

He must have sensed that she needed this moment with him, because he wrapped his free arm around her in a makeshift hug.  He was always so good at hugs, her Doctor.  

 

“Rose, I’m fine,” he said.

 

She nodded into his chest.

 

“I know, it’s just… I’ve never seen you bleed so much.” 

 

She felt a single tear escape, and she buried her face further in his shirt.

 

“Look at me, Rose.”

 

She couldn’t bring herself to obey his request, not when she was crying.  She was supposed to be stronger than this.  She was supposed to run with him, laughing, towards the next adventure, not torment herself with worry over his safety.

 

“I’m fine,” he said.

 

She nodded again, but didn’t move beyond that.

 

His hand moved over her back in gentle circles.

 

“Rose, look at me.”

 

She shook her head, eyes still pressed shut against his shirt, and she felt rather than heard him chuckle.  He started to move then, removing her head from his chest and shifting down so that his face was even with hers, and tried again.

 

“Open your eyes,” he said softly.

 

Finally, she did, thankful that her tears were gone.  She blinked over at his face, a few inches away on the pillow.

 

“I’m fine,” he said again.

 

She brought her hand up to cup his cheek.

 

“I know, just...  be careful,” she said.

 

“I’m not afraid of bugs, Rose,” he said, smiling indulgently.

 

She sighed.

 

“That’s the problem.  You’re not afraid of anything.”

 

Her thumb traced delicately over the arch of his cheekbone.  His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, then he reached up and covered her hand with his own, stopping her caress.  

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” he whispered.

 

They were staring directly into each other’s eyes now, inches apart on a twin mattress, and yet Rose knew that she was reading too much into the moment.  The Doctor didn’t do romance.  Still, she couldn’t help that her heart sped up the tiniest bit.  And she couldn’t keep her eyes from darting down to his lips for just a split second.  It was a mistake, and she knew it.

 

She felt the mattress dip before she realized that he was moving.  She heard the bed creak, and he was in the doorway before she could make sense of what had just happened.

 

“I’ll be careful,” he promised.

And then he was gone.

 

~0~0~0~

 

Inara knew that sleep would not come easily tonight.  The look on Mal’s face when she mentioned Persephone, the set of his jaw, his refusal to look at her, it was all she could think about as she tried to let the day slip away.  

 

She knew that she was right to leave _Serenity_.  If she didn’t leave now, she never would.  She couldn’t allow herself get any more attached to these people—to this man, she corrected herself.  It went against all that she had trained for.  He would take everything that she knew herself to be, and what would be left?  Who was she without the proud independence of Companionship?

 

The only thing that might soothe her nerves was a cup of tea.  She had all the necessary ingredients in her shuttle, but felt too confined within the cocoon of satin.  Pulling on a turquoise robe, she swept out of her room in slippered feet.  Just as she was about to turn the corner toward the upper deck, she heard a strange sound.  

 

It was unlike any noise she’d every heard, a sort of high-pitched digital whirring, almost like a recording of crickets chirping set at ten times speed.  She turned in the direction of the noise, and saw a faint blue light coming from the cargo bay.  Silently, she padded down the steps until the Doctor came into view.  He was aiming some kind of blue flashlight at a crate of beetles, and the flashlight was emitting that strange sound.

 

“What are you doing?” she asked, unable to resist any longer.

 

The Doctor jumped, and the flashlight fell to the floor with a loud _CLANK_.

 

“Oh, hello!” he said before stooping to retrieve his tool.  

 

“What is that thing?” Inara asked.

 

“Sonic screwdriver,” the Doctor replied, holding it out for her to see.

 

Inara frowned, her eyes scanning the strange device.

 

“What were you doing with it?” she pressed.

 

The Doctor shoved his free hand into his messy brown hair, tousling it further.

 

“Oh, you know, just what you’d expect,” he said casually.  “Trying to mend the crates.  There was a bit of fire damage on the corner of this one.”

 

Inara raised a delicate eyebrow.  She could spot a liar with the greatest of ease; it was part of her training as a Companion.  Still, she could sense that this man wasn’t about to share all of his secrets with her.  So, she decided to take a less direct route.

 

“I couldn’t sleep.  Would you care to join me for a cup of tea?” she asked kindly.

 

The Doctor shot her a wide grin.

 

“Love to!” 

 

He gave an ‘after you’ gesture, and followed her up the stairs and through to the kitchen.

 

“So, Doctor,” Inara began as she put the kettle on.  “What has you up so late?”

 

“I don’t sleep much anymore.  Or at all, really,” he added.

 

Inara moved to the pantry.

 

“Because of what the Alliance did to you?” she called out.

 

He made a noncommittal noise.  

 

Something didn’t add up about this man.  Inara knew men.  All men.  Every type, every kink, every characteristic, and this man was something new.  And that made him suspicious, because men weren’t new.  Men were predictable, all people were, and therefore they could be manipulated.  Not that Companions were trained to be master manipulators.  A Companion’s goal was to make a true spiritual connection with her clients, to make each one feel like he or she was the only person in the ‘Verse who mattered.  Naturally that had to involve _some_ degree of manipulation, but the intention was good.

 

In any case, Inara sensed something off about this man, and she felt an overpowering need to get to the bottom of it.  That was why, when she located the drawer for tea, she went all the way to the back of it.  Behind the last packet of jasmine, she found what she was looking for; a special brew that companions sometimes used in the tea ceremony with new clients.  It loosened the tongue and opened the heart in ways that contributed to a successful first encounter.

 

“What about you?” he asked.

 

She moved gracefully back into the kitchen, giving no sign of her duplicity.  

 

“What _about_ me?”

 

The Doctor turned to face her.

 

“What has you up so late, Ms. Serra?” he clarified. “I’m leaving _Serenity_ soon.  I suppose I’m feeling anxious,” she answered truthfully.  

 

“That’s what’s happening on Persephone,” the Doctor concluded.  At Inara’s nod, he continued.  “The Captain seemed  particularly displeased by your mention of it at dinner.”

 

Inara blinked in surprise.  

 

The kettle chose that moment to shriek, and the Companion moved swiftly to remove it from the stove.  She slipped the special teabag in a mug for the Doctor and a simple earl grey into her own before pouring hot water over the top of both.

 

“‘Ta,” he said when she placed his mug in front of him.

 

He didn’t even wait for the tea to steep before taking his first sip of the scalding liquid.  Inara was careful not to stare.  The tea would work its magic soon.  There was no need to be too eager.

 

“Interesting,” the Doctor announced, smacking his lips.  “Truth serum with just a _dash_ of aphrodisiac. Sodium pentothal and bremelanotide, to be exact.”

 

Inara gaped in a very unladylike fashion.  Once she realized this, her jaw snapped shut, but her eyes remained wide.

 

“Very clever.  But that won’t work on me,” the Doctor continued, sounding more amused than angry.

 

“And why is that?” Inara managed to utter.

 

“My body has already metabolized it,” he said cheerfully.  Then he took another sip and swished it around in his mouth before swallowing.  “You know, it’s not an unpleasant taste.”

 

“Another side effect of your detainment,” Inara ventured warily.

 

He nodded and took another sip.

 

“You know, if you have questions for me, you can just ask.”

 

She peered at him uncertainly.

 

“Can I expect honesty?” 

 

He gave her a small smile.

 

“Asks the woman who just drugged me?” 

 

Inara blushed, an unusual reaction for her.  She stared down at her mug when she replied.

 

“I’m very protective of the people on this ship.  They’re my family.”

 

“And yet you’re leaving them,” the Doctor said curiously.

 

Inara’s eyes snapped up to his.

 

“Sometimes we have to leave the ones we love behind in order to preserve ourselves.”

 

She watched the Doctor’s face grow softer.  The mischief left his eyes, replaced by something far more solemn. 

 

“Don’t we gain strength from those we love?” he asked, sounding like an aged philosopher.

 

And suddenly Inara was reliving that terrible moment, the moment when Mal stepped close and told her life was too damn short for ifs and maybes; when she was entirely sure that he was going to lean in and kiss her and only half sure that she didn’t want him to; when she made up her mind and pushed him away forever with her words.

 

_When you live with that kind of strength, you get tied to it, you can't break away. And you never want to,_ she had said.  And then she told him she was leaving.

 

“No,” Inara finally replied.  “We become dependent on them for strength instead of finding it within ourselves.”

 

The Doctor gave her a sad, knowing smile.  She saw such wisdom in those ancient eyes.  When he shared his next words, he did so quietly, as if he was afraid of their truth.

 

“I’ve left so many people behind.  So very many people.  And I don’t think it’s made me any stronger.  Only lonelier.”

 

Inara frowned.

 

“Then why do you keep leaving them?” she asked.

 

He seemed to need to think about his response, because he took another drag of tea before he replied.

 

“Because I have to keep moving.  Because I’m a coward, every time.”  He paused again, and Inara saw the weariness in his slumped shoulders.  “Because I’d rather deprive myself of all the happiness I’d gain from those extra years with someone than suffer the added pain when they’re gone.”

 

His sorrow was so palpable in that moment, his loneliness so overwhelming, that her entire heart ached for him.  One, then two tears spilled over her cheeks.  She reached out blindly for his hand, and he allowed her to take it in her own.  She understood him absolutely.  She grieved both _for_ him and _with_ him.  But all too quickly, he took his hand back and cleared his throat.

 

“But I’m assuming that’s not why you gave me this tea.  What did you really want to ask me?” Inara was speechless for a moment.  What _had_ she wanted to ask him?  Something about his screwdriver?  His motives for agreeing so easily to travel with them?  None of it seemed to matter anymore.  This man couldn’t have evil intent.  He was too sad for that, too broken.  

 

She couldn’t form the words to tell him so, so she instead she just said, “Never mind.  It’s not important.”

 

There was a sound from the doorway and Inara looked up to see Mal’s frame come into view.  His black eye from the bar fight was nearly purple now.  Still, his keen eyes scanned her face, which she realized was still wet with tears.  

 

“Inara, the Doctor botherin’ you?” he asked, his voice both earnest and hard.

 

Embarrassed at his intrusion on such a private moment, Inara straightened up and discreetly wiped her face.

 

“Of course not.  Don’t be ridiculous,” she said curtly.

 

The Doctor finished his tea in one large gulp and stood.

 

“I was just heading off the bed anyways.  Ms. Serra, thank you for the tea,” he said, betraying nothing of their encounter.

 

Inara nodded absently, eyes still trained on Mal.  The Captain watched the Doctor leave the kitchen before turning back to her.  His gaze made her uncomfortable and embarrassed, and she hastily swiped at her cheeks again.

 

“Even if the Doctor had upset me, I could have taken care of it myself.  I don’t need you to advocate for me,” she said.

 

She could tell that his teeth were clenched.  He gave a terse nod.

 

“Don’t worry.  You’ve made that plenty clear,” he spat.

 

He spun on his heel and made to leave, and Inara felt her heart leap into her throat.

 

“No, Mal, wait,” she called.

 

She saw him struggle to control his anger.  He clenched his hands in fists, his shoulders tensed, but he turned back all the same.  Face to face with him again, Inara found herself struggling for words.

 

“I’m sorry.  You were only being kind.  I just…”

 

What did she want to say?  The Doctor had given her so much to think about, but she didn’t want to say the wrong thing.

 

“I…” 

 

She trailed off again and he let out an angry sigh.

 

“What is it?” he demanded.

 

“Mal, I thought I knew what I wanted, but the Doctor just…  He made me think and—”

 

Mal’s eyes lit up, but it wasn’t hope that she saw reflected in them, it was fury.

 

“Inara, don’t do this,” he said tersely.

 

His tone brought her up short.

 

“Do what?” she asked, bewildered.

 

“Don’t tug me this way and that.  Have the courtesy of just cuttin’ me loose.  I’m not one of your clients to manipulate.”

 

He was looking at her with such disdain that it literally took her breath away.  She felt her eyes prickle with new tears, and she gasped out her next words.

 

“How could you think—”

 

“I just can’t do this with you any longer,” he interrupted.  “Just cut and run, it’s what you do best.”

 

She physically pulled back, as if the sting of his words was real.  Then the familiar anger set in.

 

“And how would you know that?” she demanded.

 

“It’s what you do for a livin’, ain’t it?” he accused.  “Lead clients along, make ‘em feel like they mean somethin’ to you, and then fly away.”

 

His statement ended a lot softer than it began, and she felt her anger ebb.  Arguing with Mal was no use.  They could both get worked up so easily, but that was never productive.

 

“I’m just confused,” she said honestly.

 

He laughed, but it wasn’t a pleasant sound.

 

“Yeah, well, be confused somewhere away from me, because I’d hafta be a fool to run in the same exact circles with you again.”

 

He turned to leave again, but Inara stood abruptly and called out to him.

 

“No, don’t leave.  I will.”

 

She pulled her robe tightly around herself and walked away.  She was almost out of the kitchen when she heard his response.

 

“Yeah.  I figured you’d say that.”

 

She shut her eyes against the tears and walked blindly back to her shuttle.

 

~0~0~0~

 

The Doctor reentered the guest room to find Rose fast asleep.  One foot dangled off the end of the mattress, and her face was buried deep in a pillow.  Her arms and legs were bent in ways that seemed calculated to take up as much surface area as possible.  Normally he would have left her alone and found something t o busy himself with at the desk, but his conversation with Inara had left him feeling weary. 

He knew that there was no real comparison to be made between himself and the Companion.  After all, she wasn’t going to live for hundreds of years.  It was necessary for him to leave people behind; the grief of getting close to person after person, only to outlive them, would be impossible for anyone to endure.  His cowardice really _was_ a matter of self-preservation.  

 

Yet he couldn’t stop pieces of their conversation from replaying in his mind, and sleep was the  only solution.

 

“Rose,” he whispered.

 

“Mmmph?” she mumbled into the pillow.

 

“Budge up.”

 

He sat in the desk chair and undid his laces.

 

“Why?” she whined drowsily.

 

“Because I know I’m skinny in this incarnation, but even _I’m_ going to need more than three square centimeters of space to sleep,” he said, pulling off one shoe and then the other.

 

“M’tired,” she said to her pillow.

 

The Doctor loosened his tie.

 

“Come on.  Over,” he insisted.

 

She grumbled noncommittally.  

 

He sighed and pulled off his jacket, then his tie.  Then, carefully, he slipped his hands under her waist and shoulders.  Rose squirmed slightly in her sleep, but quickly fell limp again.  He lifted her and gently shifted her towards the wall.  Then, just as carefully, he lifted the edge of the blanket and tucked himself in behind her.  The bed was so small that he had didn’t have room to lie on his back.  Instead, he turned to his side and wrapped his arms around her to keep from falling off the mattress.  He tried to ignore the tickling sensation of her hair on his nose, and shut his eyes.

 

He had very nearly drifted off to sleep when the mattress dipped and shook.  It wasn’t until he opened his eyes that he saw that Rose had turned in his arms to face him.  She was awake, although just barely.

 

“You came to bed,” she murmured.

 

“I said I would,” he replied.

“Yeah, but you never do.”

 

Everything about her spoke to her state of half-sleep.  Her lips were slightly parted; her eyes heavy-lidded; her blond hair spread out messily across the pillows.  

 

“Too dangerous,” he whispered.

 

She frowned.

 

“What, me?” she asked.

 

He couldn’t look away from her lips. _Why_ couldn’t he look away from her lips?

 

“Oh, yes,” he breathed. Why was her body suddenly rushing closer?  No, wait— _she_ wasn’t rushing up to _him_ , he was pulling _her_.  Why were his hands at her back, drawing her closer?  Why was his head dipping lower as her eyes slid the rest of the way shut?  Why did his lips hover, just brushing over that spot where her neck met her shoulder?  

 

“Doctor?” she whispered.

 

There was a tremor in her voice.  It was a nervous sound, full of expectation and longing, and it sent a bolt of heat from low in his belly even lower.  His eyes widened in recognition of this feeling, long kept carefully dormant.

 

“The tea!” he blurted out loudly.

 

Rose blinked.

 

“What?” 

 

He released her as if she was made of fire.  His legs were tangled in the sheets, so he half-fell out of bed.

 

“Metabolizing one sip, easy, but downing the whole cup, not good.  Very bad!” he rambled, crawling backwards on his hands and feet until his back hit the wall.

 

“Doctor, what are you talking about?  What’s happened?” Rose asked, sitting up.

 

The Doctor shot up and grabbed his jacket.

 

“Nothing!  Nothing at all.  Just feeling a bit off.  Something I drank, and—Anyway!  Time Lord; don’t need to sleep.  So I’ll just be off, then.  Never really got a good scan of those crates.  Interrupted.  So.  Good then.  Yes!  Good night, Rose!”

 

With every word he managed to get closer to the door.  Rose watched him in growing bewilderment.

 

“What—”

 

“Nothing!  Go back to sleep, Rose.  See you in the morning,” he said, hating the sudden high pitch that his voice took on.

 

He slipped out of the room and scrambled off to the cargo bay.

 

~0~0~0~

 

Rose awoke the next morning alone.  She had almost convinced herself that she dreamed the entire encounter with the Doctor last night, but then she looked at the floor.  His shoes and tie still lay there, abandoned in his haste.

 

 

~0~0~0~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes: Did you know that leaving reader comments reduces fine lines and wrinkles? According to a recent double-blind clinical study* it does!**
> 
> *conducted in my imagination
> 
> **it doesn’t


	9. Chapter Nine

**CHAPTER NINE**

One thing that came as a surprise to Simon when he joined the crew of _Serenity_ , was the inordinate amount of d owntime on a smuggling ship.  Like now, for instance, in the journey between pickup and drop-off of cargo.  Mal said that they wouldn’t arrive on Paquin for another 24 hours, so in the meantime, Simon had little to do but sit and wait.

He always assumed that a life of crime would involve a lot more excitement of the running-for-your-life variety, but the truth was that it actually involved a lot more sitting-around-waiting-for-the-next-job time.  In fact, as doctor, Simon felt like the least useful member of the crew.  Every once in a while, someone was shot or beaten, but for the most part, his talents were wasted.

So now, having nothing to do, Simon found his thoughts occupied by the Doctor and River.  The man was certainly odd, but compared to River, his eccentricities were negligible.  If Simon could talk to him, get some more information about what was done to him and how he had recovered, then maybe there was some hope that his sister could one day lead a normal life.  The stranger was, after all, a doctor.  Surely he could give a qualified medical opinion.

His mind made up, Simon emerged from his room in the early morning hours in search of the Doctor.  Finding the guest room was empty, he ventured further into the ship.  The cargo bay was vacant save for a meditating Shepherd Book, so Simon slipped past him without a sound.  He climbed the steps, and turned toward the sound of voices in the kitchen.

“No!  You’re kidding me!” he heard a female voice laugh.

Turning the corner into the kitchen revealed Rose at the sink, grinning widely at none other than Jayne.

“Dead serious!  So there I am, pants around my ankles, armed with nothin’ but a—”

“A teaspoon!” Rose guffawed.

“It weren’t funny at the time!” Jayne groused, but he was smiling at the blond.

“Oh my God, how did you get out of there?  I mean, that woman—”

“Had the keys to my gorram hovercraft!  I know!” Jayne finished.

Rose burst into laughter again, leaning back against the sink for support.  She slipped a little, and as she turned to right herself, she noticed Simon standing in the doorway.

“Doctor Tam!” she greeted him.

“Simon,” he corrected her offhandedly.  He was staring at the two of them, slightly dumbstruck that they appeared to be getting on so well.

“Jayne was just telling me the funniest story,” Rose explained.

Simon raised his eyebrows.

“Apparently.”

He stepped further into the room, and noticed that Rose’s arms were covered in a thin layer of soapy foam up to her elbows.  He frowned, and peered over her shoulder at the sink full of water.

“Jayne, isn’t it your day to do the dishes?” he admonished.

Jayne’s eyes went wide.

“She wanted to do it!” he insisted.

Rose nodded.

“I just want to make myself useful.  You know, it’s the least I can do to repay you all for saving the Doctor.”

Simon sighed.

“Yes, thank you Jayne, for your medical expertise,” he said under his breath.

“You can stay permanently, far as I’m concerned.  Doc, she made a omelet outta mostly protein mush and a single old chicken egg that was the best damn thing I had in years,” Jayne announced.

“The trick is to add a splash of water.  Makes the eggs fluffy,” Rose revealed.

She turned back to the sink and buried her hands in the soapy water once more.  

“Rose, do you know where the Doctor is?” Simon asked, remembering his purpose.

Curiously, Rose’s shoulders tensed.  

“Uh, no actually.  I—I haven’t seen him since last night,” she stammered.

Simon paused, staring at her back for a moment, as if that would explain why she sounded so out of sorts.  When no such explanation materialized, he shrugged.

“Right, well, I’ll just keep looking.”

“Okay!” Rose called over the sound of swishing water and clinking plates.

Jayne grunted and turned back to his audience.

“So anyways, there I was, pants around my ankles, teaspoon at the ready, and there’s a knock at the door.”

Simon never discovered who was at the door, because he had already left the room.  It was then that he heard the man he was looking for.  The Doctor’s voice rang out from the engine room.

“So you rerouted the G-line around the graft couplings to brace them?”  

“Yup!” Kaylee’s voice replied.

Simon walked towards the voices as the Doctor replied.

“Oh, that is brilliant!  Absolutely brilliant!  You are a mechanical genius, Kaylee Frye, and coming from me, that’s saying something.”

“I don’t know about all that.  It just sorta made sense ‘cause of the way the copper piping has that little S-curve,” Kaylee said.

Simon smiled.  All of that mechanical jargon meant nothing to him, but he didn’t need to understand it to know that Kaylee was a brilliant mechanic.  

“Oh!  Simon!  Hi!” Kaylee said, waving to him as he came into view.

He waved back and entered the room, but before he could say anything, the Doctor started up again.  Simon noted that, for some reason, the man was barefoot.  He crouched over the rotating engine, examining each piece closely through a pair of spectacles. 

“But don’t you see, Kaylee?  That’s the genius of it!  No one else would look at that little S-curve and see anything other than an inconvenience, but you, you brilliant woman, you see an opportunity to solve the problem with the couplings!  This entire engine is a testament to your ingenuity.”

Kaylee blushed scarlet at the high praise, but couldn’t quite hide her grin.

“It weren’t nothin’,” she mumbled.

Simon smiled again at her modesty.  As amazing as Kaylee was at her job, what made her truly special was her complete humility.  And her innocence. And her kindness.  And her humor.  

“That’s exactly what Beethoven would have said—well, did say, actually.  Ordinary people look at a piano, and they see a bunch of white and black keys, but to Beethoven, they just made sense.  He saw the movement of his fingers before he touched the keys, he heard the music in his mind, and he just _played_.”

Simon wasn’t sure if Kaylee even knew who Beethoven was, but by the looks of her, she might just burst if the Doctor heaped any more praise on her.  Kaylee beamed at the Doctor and the Doctor beamed right back at her.  The smile slid off Simon’s face.  

“Mind you, he did go a bit overboard,” the Doctor went on.  “When he composed _Für Elise_ , I said, ‘Ludwig, why not just write her a love letter?  Why must everything be a sonata or a bagatelle?  Elise _gets_ _it_ , okay?  Nobody likes a showoff.’  But it was all, ‘Music of the heart’ and so on.”

Kaylee laughed.

“I’d like to hear that song,” she said.

“Oh, have you not?” the Doctor asked.  Kaylee blushed and shook her head.  “Well, that simply won’t do.  I’ll pull it up for you later.  I’m sure we can find a recording of it on the Cortex.”

The thought of the Doctor and Kaylee huddled together around a monitor, listening to romantic music did something strange to Simon’s heart rate.  Clearing his throat, he spoke a little more loudly than was strictly necessary.

“Kaylee, would you mind if I steal the Doctor away for a while?  I have some medical questions for him.”

Kaylee looked like she had just been awoken from a daydream.  She blinked a few times before focusing her eyes on Simon, almost as if she’d forgotten he was there.

“Oh!  Sure, of course.  Sorry,” she said.  “I need to eat breakfast anyway.”

“Doctor?” Simon prompted.

The Doctor straightened up and folded his glasses carefully in his suit pocket.

“Lead the way!” he said cheerfully.

Simon knew that the Doctor hadn’t done anything wrong, but he walked down to the med bay without throwing a backward glance at the man.  It wasn’t until he entered the infirmary that he finally turned around to see the Doctor glancing uncertainly down the hall to the guest rooms.

“Something wrong?” Simon asked.

“Er, no.”  The Doctor paused, then spoke again.  “Say, have you seen Rose this morning?”

“Yes.  In the kitchen with Jayne a few minutes ago.  Why?” Simon replied.

The Doctor looked relieved.

“No reason.  I’m just going to go retrieve a few things from our room.  Carry on and I’ll be back before you can say ‘the Mighty Jagrafess of the Holy Hadrojassic Maxarodenfoe.’”

“What?” Simon asked, but the Doctor was already gone.

With a shrug, the young doctor busied himself pulling out all of the data he had on River.  He placed the CT scans of her brain on the light box and laid out the binders he’d filled with his medical notes across the countertops.  He accessed the data stick from the 3D neuro-imaging scan they’d done on Ariel and projected the results into the small projection field beside the exam chair.

“I’m back!” the Doctor announced.  He now wore shoes, and his brown tie was one more firmly knotted around his neck.

Simon took a deep breath and began.

“This is all of the data I’ve compiled on my sister; what was done to her, and its effects.  I’m hoping you might be able to shed some light on…”

He trailed off, unsure of exactly what he wanted to ask.  I’m hoping you might be able to shed some light on how badly they hurt her?  On how far gone she is?  On whether she’ll ever be normal again?

The Doctor stepped next to Simon and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll do what I can,” he said earnestly.

Simon nodded and stood back as the Doctor worked.  He was amazed at the frenetic way the man flitted from document to document, pouring over each ounce of data like a detective with a magnifying glass.  Simon could sense that the Doctor’s brain was whirring as he moved, his mind piecing together data that took Simon years to assemble.  Every now and then, the Doctor would ask him for clarification or additional information, but for the most part, he worked silently.  

After about an hour, the Doctor stood and stretched.

“I’m going to need a bit longer to process everything, Simon.  Why don’t you take a break and clear your head a little.  Find that mechanic of yours.  She’s a good distraction.”

Simon frowned.

“What?  Kaylee’s not—she isn’t—she’s not _mine_ ,” he stuttered.

“Are you sure?  She couldn’t stop talking about you,” the Doctor said.

“Really?” Simon asked, unable to help himself.

The Doctor tried and failed to hide a smirk.

“Got a bit tedious, really.  Thank goodness she decided to show me the engine room.  A conversation change was in order.”

Simon cleared his throat.

“Yes, well, I’ll check back later?”

“Shouldn’t be too much longer.  I’ll find you when I’m done,” the Doctor said dismissively.

Simon acquiesced.  He made his way to the cargo bay and it was there that he found ‘his mechanic.’  Kaylee was lying on her stomach next to Rose.  The two of them were huddled around something on the floor, examining it so closely that neither of them noticed his entrance.

“She’s actually sorta cute,” Kaylee said.

“Who’s cute?” Simon asked.

Kaylee sat up quickly.

“Hi, Simon,” she said.

Rose gave a friendly wave, which he returned.

“Did the Doctor help you with your medical questions?” Kaylee asked.

“He’s working on it.  Who’s cute?” he repeated.

“Harriet,” Kaylee said, gesturing at the floor.

He stepped closer and peered at the ground.  Between the girls was a small green insect.  It looked a bit like an oversized ant.

“It’s a bug,” he said.

Rose scooped the bug off the ground and cradled it in her hands.

“Actually, she’s an assassin beetle,” she corrected.

“She looks like an ant,” Simon noted.

“She’s still a nymph.  She’ll be developing into an adult soon, the Doctor said.”

“She’s our new pet!” Kaylee announced.

Simon frowned.

“I didn’t know you could keep a beetle as a pet,” he admitted.

“You can with this one,” Rose assured him.

“She likes people, Simon,” Kaylee explained.  “It’s the truth!  I met Rose in the kitchen and there Harriet was, hidin’ behind the toaster.  Then we came down here to play jacks and a little while later, who do we find?”

“Harriet?” Simon guessed.

“Harriet!  She followed us down here!” Kaylee said excitedly.  “So we moved a bit ‘cause we didn’t wanna smush her when we played jacks, but she just kept scuttling along, followin’ us wherever we went.  She likes us!”

“She has good taste,” Rose commented, gently stroking the bug’s back.

To Simon’s surprise, the creature seemed perfectly content at the human contact.  He frowned again.

“Is there a hole in one of the crates?”

“Nope.  The Doctor found a single survivor from the burnt crate.  She’s it,” Rose replied.

“Say, Simon, can you hold her for a bit?  She keeps gettin' in the way of jacks and Rose was winnin’ what we left off,” Kaylee asked sweetly.

Simon chuckled.

“Of course.”

He allowed Rose to transfer the tiny bug into his hands, and contented himself with watching the two young women enjoy their game.  He couldn’t help smiling along with Kaylee whenever she scored a point.  Occasionally he stroked Harriet’s back, which made the beetle pause her constant pacing to and fro across his palm.

He wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed when the Doctor emerged.

“Simon, I’ve finished—oh!  Rose.  Hello.”

He froze halfway across the room, staring at his companion with wide eyes.

“Hello Doctor,” Rose said, somewhat formally.  “I see you located your shoes.”

The Doctor’s face seemed suddenly flushed, and he struggled to reply.

“Yes, I uh, I found them.  And… and now they’re on.  My feet.  So… Good.  That.”

Rose rolled her eyes.

“Doctor, you haven’t met our new pet,” Kaylee said.

The Doctor’s eyebrows rose in interest.

That seemed to bring Rose out of her funk, because she smirked and stood.  

“Yes.  Let me introduce the two of you,” she said.

She held out her hands, and Simon transferred the creature to her.  Then she held it up for the Doctor to see.

“Doctor, please meet Harriet Jones:  Beetle.”

For reasons that Simon didn’t understand, Rose’s words caused the Doctor to emit a loud guffaw.  

“Oh, Rose, really?” he said when he’d stopped laughing.  

“Well we would’ve done Raxacoricofallapatorius, but Kaylee had some pronunciation difficulties,” she replied.

If possible, his grin grew even wider, but Simon was eager to hear the Doctor’s findings, and couldn’t stop himself from interrupting the happy moment.

“Should we return to the exam room, Doctor?” he prompted.

“Yes, of course,” the Doctor said, pulling his attention from Rose with some difficulty.

They moved towards the doorway but Kaylee’s voice stopped them.

“River, where’ve you been?” the mechanic asked.

Simon turned his head around in time to see his sister pull out a long carving knife.  To his horror, she pulled her arm back and sent it soaring towards Rose.  The blade cut a neat line through the air and sunk directly into Rose’s outstretched hand.  The blond let out a surprised shriek and fell to her knees.

The Doctor was at her side in an instant, pulling off his jacket and wrapping it around her hand to stem the flow of blood.

“Don’t remove the knife yet!” Simon shouted, running towards his sister.

River thrashed wildly as he locked his arms around her.

“LITTLE SPIES!  SOON THEY’LL BE EVERYWHERE!” she screamed.

“River, stop it!  What did you do?!” Simon shouted over her, squeezing as tightly as he could.

Simon vaguely registered that the rest of the was crew flooding into the cargo bay, demanding answers, which Kaylee fielded as best she could through her tears.  Simon’s attention, however, was consumed by his sister.  

She was completely incoherent now, thrashing in his arms.  As soon as the screaming stopped, she began laughing, a mad cackle.  Then she started to recite a poem.  

_"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the spider to the fly; "'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you may spy.  
  
_

It wasn’t anything Simon had heard before, and River spoke very quickly, her voice rising to a maniacal pitch at random points in her recitation.  Whatever it lacked in presentation, its overall effect was no less eerie.

_The way into my parlor is up a winding stair, And I have many curious things to show when you are there."_

Mal and Jayne approached them now, Mal taking River’s arms and Jayne her legs.

_"Oh no, no," said the little fly; "to ask me is in vain, For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."  
  
_

The two larger men managed to hold her down, freeing him to run to the med bay for a tranquilizer.  When he got there, he recognized the Doctor’s presence and realized that he must have carried Rose down at some point after River’s attack.  Neither man attempted to start up a conversation, however.  Simon grabbed what he was looking for and dashed back upstairs.

When he burst into the cargo bay, River was just finishing her poem.

_Thinking only of her crested head. Poor, foolish thing! at last_

_Up jumped the cunning spider, and fiercely held her fast; He dragged her up his winding stair, into the dismal den - Within his little parlor – BUT SHE NE’ER CAME OUT AGAIN!_

Simon drove the needle into River’s arm, and she promptly passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Notes: So, there’s a cliffhanger for ya! Don’t hate me?
> 
>  
> 
> For those of you who don’t know, the poem that River recited is called “The Spider and the Fly.” It was written by a woman named Mary Howitt as sort of a twist on a Lewis Carroll poem, and it is incredibly creepy. Or maybe it's the other way around; I can never remember. You can find both poems here, if you’re interested: http://www.wussu.com/poems/lctlq.htm


	10. Chapter Ten

 

**CHAPTER TEN**

 

“I’m so sorry,” the young doctor said again.

 

The Doctor waved off his concern.  

 

“Rose is fine.  The knife went in cleanly, and it missed the artery.  She’ll be as good as new in no time.”

 

In truth, the Doctor’s hearts had stopped when he saw the amount of blood rushing from Rose’s wound.  As he carried her down to the med bay, she was pale and sweating, her face a mask of pain.

 

_“Better save this hand, Doctor,” she had said, forcing a smile.  “Mine won’t regrow like yours.”_

 

He managed a sort of half-laugh.  It was just so _Rose_ to joke with him to distract him from her pain.  But inside his panic was rising, his mind simultaneously running through a list of items that Simon probably stocked in his med bay versus the plethora of equipment he had back in the TARDIS.  He almost tripped over his shoes in his haste to get her into the exam chair, and then again when he stumbled over to the sink to soak some towels.  It wasn’t until he had wiped away most of the blood that he was able to exhale.

 

Luckily, it was a clean cut.  The wounds on either side of Rose’s hand had only required a few stitches, and a shot of pain reliever later, she was lounging in their room, chatting with Kaylee.

 

“Still, I can’t believe that River attacked her,” Simon said.

 

“Is it the first time she’s done something like this?” the Doctor asked.

Simon faltered.  

 

“Well, no.  But the first time it was only Jayne.”

 

The Doctor nodded, as if this made perfect sense.

 

“River is a very troubled girl, and I don’t think that she meant Rose any harm,” he said earnestly.  “Would you like to hear what I was going to tell you before this all became very messy?”

 

Simon looked at River, who lay unconscious in the examination chair between them, still sedated from Simon’s injection.

 

“Tell me,” he said.

 

“Let’s start with what you already know,” the Doctor replied.  “The Academy cut open her brain to remove the bits of her amygdala that control her emotions.  They tried to implant suggestions to be triggered by specific stimuli.  They also enhanced her brain function in ways that would increase her perception.”  

 

The Doctor paused here.  Then he clarified.  

 

“Her psychic perception.”

 

Simon looked as if he might object, but after a moment, he simply nodded.

 

“You know I’ve experienced similar treatment,” the Doctor lied smoothly.  “So, I think I know the result that they were aiming for.”

 

“A super soldier,” Simon said.

 

“In a way, yes, but much more than that.  I think that, rather than make River’s emotions irrepressible, the Academy wanted to install some sort of remote control for them, an off-switch, if you will.  I think, Simon, that your sister was to become the most terrible weapon in the universe.”

 

Simon frowned, and the Doctor waited for him to reply.

 

“I don’t understand,” he said finally.

 

“Just imagine it,” the Doctor began.  “An army of children raised by the Alliance.  They would be deadly in combat.  They would have no emotions overriding their directives. And a person could hide nothing from them, not even their innermost thoughts.”

 

The Doctor stared at the girl in the exam chair.

 

“River and her classmates would operate as the ultimate enforcers, able to not only find the people posing a threat to the Alliance’s power, but also to be their judge, jury, and executioner.  She would be a one-woman army, impossible to evade or deny.  Impossible to survive.”

 

“I—”  

 

Simon stopped.  He swallowed and tried again.  “I don’t know what to say.  I can’t believe…”

 

The Doctor continued smoothly.

 

“It didn’t work on River, obviously.  Never completed.  And she has you to thank for that.  She can still be her own woman.”

 

The Doctor saw Simon’s eyes grow a bit wetter.  The young man blinked rapidly to clear them.  He was clearly trying very hard to maintain his composure.

 

“So she’s fixable?” he asked desperately.  “She’ll be all right?”

 

The Doctor gave Simon a sad smile.  It was the kind of smile you give to someone who has recently lost a loved one.

 

“She’s not fixable, Simon.”

 

The young man shook his head.

 

“But you said she could be her own woman.”

 

“I can’t undo what the Academy did to her.  No one can.”  The Doctor sighed.  “You can’t just replace the bits of brain they removed or rearranged.  Brain tissue is entirely too complex.  It’s not like grafting a new arm, as you know.  The synapses are so precise that even one difference can alter personality and mental function.”

 

Simon nodded numbly.  

 

“The good news is that whatever they did to her, they did it well.”  

 

Simon shot him a sharp look, and the Doctor rushed to explain.  

 

“I mean, they’re butchers, don’t get me wrong.  They cut apart an innocent child’s brain.”  He moved around the exam chair to stand beside Simon.  “But even butchering involves skill, and their surgeons were precise.”

 

“So they made her crazy, but they did it very well,” Simon bristled.

 

“Oh no, you misunderstand me.  The Academy didn’t make her crazy.” the Doctor replied.  “River did that to herself.”

 

Simon’s face screwed up in outrage.

 

“How can you say that?  How can you blame a victim, a _child_ , for the tortures perpetrated upon her by monsters?” he seethed.

 

The Doctor looked at Simon apologetically, and hesitated before continuing.  

 

“It was smart, what River did.  It was exactly what a child genius with no other weapons _should_ do to protect herself.”  He looked back at River, knowing that the peaceful look on her face was all too temporary.  “She was rescued from the Academy halfway through their process, and that left her half-formed.  Fear, anger, sadness—she’s defenseless again it all.”

 

Simon reached out for his sister’s hand.  He held it loosely in his own.

 

“I know,” he said.

 

“I think she’s been trying to deal with the damage in two ways.  The first is regression.  River has regressed to a childlike state, a time when she had parents and a brother to look after her and explain when things weren’t quite as scary as she thought they were.”

 

He paused, running a hand through his hair.

 

“Think of a child unable to sleep because there’s a monster under her bed.  To her, that monster is a real fear.  To us, it’s not.  We can explain to the child that she shouldn’t be afraid.  She might still be fearful, but we give her that comfort that an adult is around to protect her.”

 

“I don’t understand what this has to do with River,” Simon interjected. 

 

“Monsters lurk around every corner for River,” the Doctor replied.  “Doesn’t it make sense that she would go back to that time in her childhood when she could be easily comforted?”

 

Simon didn’t speak for a while.  Then, finally, he turned back to the Doctor.

 

“You said that there are two ways that my sister copes.  What’s the second?”

 

“If the government runs the Academy, then that means that River was probably around some very important people while she was there.”

 

“So?”

 

“Think about it, Simon.  They put a psychic in a room with the people who know the most terrible secrets in the universe.  Espionage.  Scandals.  Cover-ups.”

 

Realization flooded into Simon’s eyes.

 

“That’s why they’re so determined to get her back,” he murmured.

 

“I think that some of those secrets are so frightening that River has mentally cut off certain parts of her brain.  She’s trying to protect herself and others from that terrible knowledge.”

 

Simon nodded, but the Doctor wasn’t sure he was entirely listening.

 

“She talks to herself, doesn’t she?” he asked.  “She has conversations with no one?  She disappears for hours on end?”

 

This got Simon’s attention.

 

“Yes,” he said immediately.

 

“That’s all a result of this second coping mechanism.  It’s like River has short circuited her brain, and it no longer functions normally.”

 

“You said she could be normal again,” Simon said hopefully.

 

“I said she could be her own woman,” the Doctor corrected.  “And she can.  We can’t fix what they did to her.  She’ll never be able to regulate her emotions, at least not like she used to.  But I can lessen her fear.  I can make some of the monsters go away.”

 

“How?”

 

“When I was taken, I underwent similar surgeries.  They left me with certain psychic abilities.  If you’d like, I can look into River’s mind.  I can try to access those scary thoughts that she received and I can—”

 

The Doctor broke off then, unsure whether or not to proceed.

 

“You can what, Doctor?” Simon pressed.

 

The Doctor stared Simon straight in the eyes.

 

“I can take them from her.  I can remove them completely.”

 

Simon flinched.

 

“You’d be stealing her memories.”

 

The Doctor shook his head.

 

“Not _her_ memories, no.  The memories of very bad men.  Memories that have no business in the mind of a child.”

 

Simon’s gaze drifted once more to his sister’s sleeping form.

 

“And you think this will help River?” he asked.

 

“I think that once River isn’t so terrified of what lurks in her own mind, the rest of the world might open up to her,” the Doctor replied.

 

Simon let go of his sister’s hand and stood back from her.  He gestured towards her body.

 

“Do it.”

 

The Doctor nodded, and approached the thin girl.  

 

“Normally I wouldn’t go into a person’s mind without getting their permission,” he explained.

 

“I’m River’s only guardian now.  I give you permission,” Simon said.

 

“Still…” The Doctor hesitated, but in the end he decided that his duty to protect a child came before issues of consent, and he lowered his hands to River’s temples.  Then he closed his eyes, and pushed into the unconscious girl’s mind.

 

It was the most spectacular thing he’d ever seen.  

 

The Doctor was in the center of a large building with hallways branching off in every direction.  None of the hallways were the straight, boxy sort.  They twisted and turned, dipping vertically and then soaring higher and winding around tight corners like the neural pathways of the brain.  This was a mind like no other.  It had more doors than any human mind should have.  This many doors only existed in a mind that had seen several lifetimes; it was a mind like a Time Lord’s.

 

The Doctor wasn’t quite sure where to begin, but then he felt pressure on his right hand.  Glancing down, he saw a small child.  She couldn’t have been much older than eight, and she was pale with long dark hair.  He realized in an instant that this was River, the younger River, the one that her brain had regressed to.

 

“You shouldn’t be here,” she said.

 

“I’m here to help,” the Doctor replied.

 

“You have too many faces.  Now you’re rude and not ginger, but not always.  You are the Oncoming Storm.  You turn people into weapons.”

 

The Doctor shook his head.

 

“That’s not what I do.”

 

“The Bad Wolf.  She creates herself, but only to save you.”

 

The Doctor froze, but his mind flashed back to his former self, stealing away the energy of the Vortex with a kiss that Rose would never remember.  He projected the memory into River’s mind.  

 

“The Bad Wolf is gone,” he explained.

 

River pushed ahead without hesitation.

 

“There will be others.  The Girl with the Osterhagen Key.  The Doctor-Donna.  The Last Centurion.”

 

The Doctor frowned.

 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“You will,” the girl said coldly.

 

The Doctor tried again.

 

“River, I’m not going to turn you into a weapon.  I want to help.  Show me the scariest door.”

 

“No,” the girl said curtly.

 

“River—”

 

“NO!” she screamed.

 

She ran off, but the Doctor didn’t follow.  He waited until the sound of her footsteps dimmed and disappeared, and set off in the opposite direction.

 

He wandered for what felt like hours through the twisting corridors, stopping only at the closed doors, for the worst thoughts would most certainly be shut away.  Still, he caught glimpses through the open doors of a happy childhood with loving parents and a protective brother.  He saw birthdays and schools plays and dance recitals.  He saw a life; a proper life for a young girl.

 

But as he meandered, he could feel himself getting closer.  The hallway grew steeper.  His legs struggled to push forward, but he persevered.  One door had a padlock.  The Doctor pushed through it with the strength of his thoughts and it burst open.

 

_Two men.  Blue gloves.  Sonic device.  Blood pouring from every orifice.  Screaming.  Screaming that didn’t stop until everybody was dead._

 

“CLOSE IT!” Young River shouted.

 

The Doctor turned to see her standing behind him, a look of terror on her face.  He pulled them both back through the threshold and slammed the door.

 

“What are you doing here?” the Doctor asked.

 

River slid to the floor and hugged her arms around herself.  She started to rock forward and back, forward and back.

 

“Two by two… hands of blue…” she muttered.  

 

The Doctor felt a surge of rage at the people who did this to her.  No child should suffer this way.  He crouched beside her, trying to push away all angry thoughts.

 

“I can take it.  I can take that memory away,” he said softly.

 

River’s eyes darted up at his face.

 

“That one’s mine!  I’ll need it,” she said forcefully.

 

The Doctor swallowed, but nodded.  So this was something that River had witnessed herself.  Those men would be back for her.

 

“Show me one that’s not yours,” the Doctor said.  “A scary one.  I can take it away.  You don’t need to carry it any longer.”

 

River shook her head fiercely, but the Doctor caught her throwing a glance further down the hall.  There he saw another door that was bolted shut, but there was something more.  Heavy chains were bolted across its surface, crossed and crossed again to form a knotted barrier of steel.  He stood slowly and moved towards it.

 

“NO!” River cried.  “STAY AWAY!”

 

But the Doctor paid her no heed.  He was at the door in seconds, and he placed his palm against its metal surface.  He listened.

 

_Anger, mindless and violent, the feral need to consume, to destroy, to feast.  And a name._

 

“Who is Miranda?” the Doctor said to himself.

 

“If it gets out, I’ll never get it back in!  GO AWAY!” River screamed.  

 

She was rushing towards him, her face red and tear-streaked.

 

“That’s not what will happen, River.  I promise.”

 

But the Doctor’s words were no consolation.  She kept running towards him, blind fear in her eyes.

 

“Lock it away and NEVER LET IT OUT!  NEVER!” she shrieked hysterically.

 

She reached him and began beating at his chest with feeble little fists.  The Doctor gripped her wrists and held them to her sides.  She looked up at him with a fearsome snarl and tried to tug herself loose, but he held on.

 

“Please, let me take this one.  It’s so terrible.  Let me help,” he pleaded.

 

“If you won’t leave, I’ll make you,” the little girl warned him.

 

The Doctor shook his head.

 

“Just let me in.”

 

River spoke again, this time in a faraway voice.

 

“The lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child who will die in battle, so very soon.”

 

The Doctor jerked backwards, releasing her.

 

“What was that?” he asked.

 

River smiled at her success.

 

“The beast was right,” she whispered.

 

“No,” the Doctor said firmly.

 

River’s eyes grew cold.

 

“See for yourself,” she said.

 

The Doctor felt her thrust into his mind. He tried to close off that end of the connection, but she had taken him by surprise.  Then he was in a cold room, looking at himself and Rose. 

 

_There was wind.  No, not wind, a sort of gravitational pull.  At the other end of the room was a wall with a hole.  The Doctor could feel its power, and he knew without question that beyond that wall lay the Void, the nothingness outside of the universe.  A place where nothing could survive.  A place that nothing could return from._

 

_Rose was hanging onto a lever.  And then, suddenly, she wasn’t.  The Doctor saw himself scream.  He saw Rose drifting away, about to be swallowed by the nothingness._

 

“NO!” he screamed in the present.

 

He ripped his consciousness away from River’s at the same time that he stumbled backwards and landed on the floor of the med bay.

 

“What was _that_?” he demanded.

 

He scrambled to his feet and back to River’s side.

 

“That wasn’t a memory.  What did you just show me?” he asked again.  

 

“Doctor, what is it?  What did you see?” Simon asked.

 

The Doctor ignored him, shouting at the catatonic girl now.

 

“River, TELL ME!  Was that the future? Is that what’s going to happen to Rose?  I need to know!  WHY DID YOU SHOW ME THAT?!”

 

“Doctor, stop it!  She’s not conscious,” Simon interrupted, pulling the Doctor back by his elbow. The Doctor barely registered Simon’s presence.  His thoughts were consumed with horror, with the desperation in his shouting to her to just _hold on_ ; the fear on Rose’s face when her fingers slipped from that lever; that awful moment when her last centimeter of purchase disappeared and she hurtled towards the Void.  

 

He fisted his hands in his hair, nearly tearing it out.  How could a person ever open the Void, and why would they?  It made no sense!  And how could Rose be sucked into it?  He would never let that happen!  Never, ever!  In the Void, Rose would be lost forever, drifting through the vastness of nothingness for the rest of eternity with nothing and no one to comfort her.  

 

Why did he see it?  Was River just trying to scare him out of her mind with the most disturbing scenario possible, or was she predicting the future?  

 

He shook his head, trying to push the memory away, but he simply couldn’t.  He felt ill.  His lungs could not take in enough breath, and soon he was doubled over, gasping.

 

“Doctor?  What do you need?  Here, sit down,” Simon urged, pulling over the stool.

 

“I don’t need to sit.  I need Rose,” the Doctor gasped, pushing past him.

 

He was stumbling down the hallway to their room, hearts pounding with the terror of that awful vision.  When he opened their door, he was relieved to see that Kaylee had left and it was only Rose inside.

 

“Do you like the pajamas?  Kaylee lent them to me.  She says it’s some anime kids show, but I think they’re fun.”

 

_What was she saying?_ The Doctor vaguely noted that she was gesturing at her outfit with her bandaged hand.  She was wearing a pair of brightly colored pajamas with cartoon characters on them.

 

“Doctor, what’s wrong?” 

 

She had noticed that he was pale and dazed, and she wanted some answers, but the Doctor couldn’t explain.  He _wouldn’t_.  He refused to give words to that horrible vision, and he wasn’t entirely sure that he could even if he wanted to.  It was too much to bear.

 

He stepped into the room and very carefully slid the door shut behind him.  Then he turned and joined her on the bed, slipping under the covers without bothering to remove any clothing, not even his shoes.

 

“What happened?” Rose asked, eyebrows drawn with worry.

 

“Shhh,” the Doctor urged.

 

He gathered her up in his arms, careful of her injured hand, and pulled her tightly to him.  His face found her neck and he nuzzled it delicately.  His eyes slid shut and he squeezed them tightly closed.  Even so, a tiny bit of wetness snuck out and fell on her neck.

 

“Are you crying?” she asked, sounding frightened.

 

The Doctor released a shuddering breath, but merely held her tighter, his arms finding purchase around her back.

 

“Doctor, you’re scaring me.  Please say something,” she begged him.

 

“I’m supposed to keep you safe.”

 

His voice cracked.  He felt Rose press her cheek to his.

 

“Hey, it was only a cut.  I’m fine.”

 

He pulled back suddenly, just enough so that he could see her face.

 

“Rose, how long are you going to stay with me?” he asked urgently.

 

He knew that he must be scaring her.  She’d never seen him so upset; eyes blurry with tears, forehead damp with sweat, tension radiating from his entire body.  In fact, her own fear was reflected in her face.  That little crinkle between her brows had worsened.  But she took his face into her uninjured hand and spoke as calmly and matter-of-factly as she could.

 

“Forever,” she said.

 

It was like someone had flipped the off-switch in the Doctor’s brain.  He knew that ‘forever’ wasn’t possible with a tiny pink-and-yellow human, but he didn’t care right now.  He made a noise that fell somewhere between a gasp and a sigh and buried his face back in her neck.

 

Rose held him tight with her good hand, while her other hand rested gently on his shoulder.  She murmured comforting phrases to him, but he wasn’t listening to her speak.  Instead, his ears were trained on the constant rhythm of her heart.  It was that sound that lulled the Doctor to sleep.

 

~0~0~0~

 

The next morning, they set down on Paquin.  The Doctor awoke to a tickling sensation on his face.  It was Harriet Jones: Beetle.  She had crawled into bed with them at some point in the night.  He shifted carefully and scooped the tiny insect up.  Then, shaking away his drowsiness, he slipped out of their room before Rose was awake.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst! It has arrived!


	11. Chapter Eleven

 

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

 

When Mal asked Jayne to ready the cargo for transfer first thing this morning, the mercenary was ready to complain (“Dang, Mal, this is the third time in a row you asked me to do it.  What?  Are Zoe’s arms broke?”), but then Shepherd Book offered to help.  The Shepherd had a funny way of knowing just when to step in to prevent a fight.  

 

Jayne guessed that whatever smoothers the doc gave River last night were still affecting her speech a little.  The crazy was coming out of her mouth a bit slower than normal.  Still, when River emerged from the med bay that morning, she’d planted herself in front of the cargo crates and stared at them, unblinking, even when Jayne and Book carried them one-by-one to the mule.  

 

At one point the Doctor surfaced, looking pale and drawn.  He nodded at both Book and Jayne, but when his eyes fell on River, he stiffened.  She didn’t unglue her eyes from the crates for even a second.  Jayne thought he saw the Doctor hesitate, as if he wanted to speak to the crazy girl, but in the end he thought better of it and slipped past them up the stairs.  Jayne didn’t blame him one bit.  After all, he’d been caught on the wrong end of a knife by the girl before.  

 

Book and Jayne had just loaded the last crate on the mule when River spoke.

 

“The Great Seal,” she mumbled.

 

Jayne shook his head.

 

“What’s she think’s gonna happen?  If she stares hard enough, she’ll make ‘em explode?” Jayne snorted.

 

Book ignored his question, but River abruptly stopped her staring match with the crates to fix him with one of her unsettling glares.

 

“How do you know I can’t?” she asked.

 

Jayne shuddered.  There was something wrong with that girl.  Before he could respond, she went back to staring. 

 

“Breakfast?” Book prompted.  

 

Jayne stretched and nodded.

 

“Let’s go.  I’m half-starved.”

 

“River?  Do you want us to bring you anything?” Book asked kindly.

 

River spoke without looking away from the cargo.

 

“Somebody needs to watch the little spies.  No time for food.”

 

When they walked into the kitchen, they found the rest of _Serenity_ ’s crew, but neither the Doctor nor Rose was present.

 

“Anyone seen Rose come outta her room yet?  I was hopin’ fer another one of her omelets,” Jayne asked.

 

Wash shook his head.

 

“The two lovebirds must still be in the nest,” he guessed.

 

“No, we saw the Doctor leave the nest a little while ago,” Book interjected.

 

Kaylee nodded and swallowed a mouthful of cereal before adding on.

 

“He came straight up to the engine room and asked if he could take a closer look around,” she said.  “Poor Rose, though.  I hope she’s feelin’ better.”

 

“I don’t recall anyone takin’ it so hard when Moonbrain took a knife to _me_ ,” Jayne groused.

 

“I can’t imagine why, Jayne,” Wash said, sounding astonished.  “I mean, you and Rose are equally beautiful, charming, and kind.  Why, oh _why_ would we fuss more over her?”

 

“You just keep eatin’ your cereal, unless you wanna eat my fist instead,” Jayne growled.

 

Wash pretended to ponder this.

“I’d need more details to make an informed decision.  For example, does your fist come with a toy surprise?  Because this decoder ring is pretty fantast—”

 

Jayne smacked the small plastic toy from Wash’s hand.

 

“Oh, it comes with a surprise all right.  The surprise is my foot up your gorram—”

 

“Dear, don’t tease the animals,” Zoe cut in.  

 

“Sorry, darling,” Wash replied.

 

“The Doctor was pretty upset last night.  He said that he needed to be with Rose, and I didn’t see him again,” Simon shared.

 

“I think it’s sweet that the Doctor wants to be by her side.  Very chivalrous,” Inara said thoughtfully.

 

“Yeah?  Which _side_ do you think he prefers?  In front or behind?” Jayne snickered.

 

“You’re vile,” Simon muttered, beating Inara to the punch.

 

“You’re just out a sorts ‘cause _someone_ on this ship is gettin' some,” Jayne retorted.  “Tell you what, why don’t you take your share from this Paquin deal and buy yourself a nice whore like me?  I’ll take you to the best place there is planetside.”

 

Simon gave Jayne a look of deepest disgust. 

 

“ _Ni shi bai chi, zhu tou_.”

 

Jayne just shot him a devilish grin in response.

 

“All right, Jayne, that’s enough,” Mal spoke up.  “I need you with me an’ Zoe when we make the drop.  I want everyone else to stay aboard this ship.  We don’t need any more trouble with this cargo.  Let’s just get our pay and split.  We ain’t stickin’ around to spend it here.”

 

“We can spend it on Persephone.  Plenty of shops there,” Kaylee said happily.  Then she glanced guiltily at Mal.  “I mean—sorry Cap’n.”

 

“You got nothin’ to apologize for Kaylee,” the captain replied gruffly.  “But we’re not settin’ down on Persephone.  Just droppin’ Inara off and movin’ on.”

 

Everyone looked furtively at Inara and Mal, who were trying very hard not to look at each other.

 

“So, can I ask why Crazy’s not strapped down to a bed somewhere?  She magically cured since last night?” Jayne asked abruptly.

 

Simon gritted his teeth.

 

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” he forced out.

 

“Really?  And just how d’you plan on doin’ that when you ain’t even in the same room as her?  For all we know, she snuck down to Rose’s room and’s gettin’ ready to finish the job right now,” Jayne countered.

 

This seemed to give everyone a moment’s pause.  Then Simon stood stiffly and excused himself from the room.  Jayne smirked.

 

“ _Too zai zi_ ,” Inara said under her breath.

 

“I didn’t hear you rushin’ to River’s defense,” the mercenary retorted.

 

Inara took this as a good time to excuse herself, slipping off to her shuttle with a comment about packing.  Kaylee muttered something about checking on the Doctor.  Jayne contented himself with fixing up a hasty breakfast of protein mush and leftover pears.

 

“How long till planetfall, Wash?” the captain asked.

 

“Maybe twenty minutes.  I’ll head back up to the bridge,” he said.  

 

“Jayne, you finish eatin’ and then I want to so you ready with the mule,” Mal ordered.

 

The mercenary gave a grunt in response, which Mal took as an affirmation.  He and Zoe made their way to the bridge, presumably to talk more about the job, leaving Jayne alone with Book.  The two men ate in silence.  It wasn’t until Jayne was scraping the last bits of pear from his plate and Wash announced that they were breaking atmo that Rose stumbled into the kitchen.  She looked very tired, but she was leaning her bandaged hand against the doorframe, which Jayne guessed meant it didn’t hurt too badly. 

 

“Have either of you seen the Doctor?” she asked by way of hello.

 

It was a shame, Jayne thought, that Rose was so caught up with that Doctor.  He couldn’t help but notice that she looked sort of cute in Kaylee’s pajamas, but he quickly shook himself out of that line of thought.  Jayne Cobb didn’t think anything was _cute_.

 

“Engine room,” Jayne grunted.

 

Book threw him a scolding glance.

 

“Rose, it’s good to see you’re doing well,” he offered.

 

Rose smiled absently, and thanked the shepherd before disappearing back into the hallway. 

 

“Wait,” Jayne called out.

 

Rose obeyed instantly, peeking back into the kitchen with the same sleepy smile.  Jayne stood awkwardly.

 

“I’ll walk with you.  I hafta go back down to the fix the mule anyway,” he explained.

 

“Oh, sure,” the blond replied agreeably.

 

After hastily dumping his dishes in the sink, he was at her side.  He felt foolish, realizing that he’d offered to escort her a few feet down the hallway, but it was too late to do anything different now.  He paused in front of the engine room and watched her enter.

 

Kaylee’s face popped up from behind the engine.

 

“Rose!  Are you feelin’ better?”

 

“‘M fine,” Rose mumbled, but she swayed a bit in the doorway, and Jayne rushed to her side.  He threw an irritated glance at the Doctor, who stood back, observing Rose like she was some kind of science experiment.

 

“Put her in my hammock,” Kaylee suggested, and Jayne did just that, lifting the girl like she was nothing.  Rose winced slightly when her hand was momentarily pinned between her body and the thick cloth, and it was then that the Doctor sprung into action.

 

“You’re in pain,” he said.  “I’ll get you something to help.”

 

He turned to leave, but Rose called out to him.

 

“Doctor, wait.”

 

He paused, and from Jayne’s point of view he looked almost afraid to meet her eyes.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Good morning,” she said, grinning.

 

The Doctor’s detached demeanor melted away.  For an instant, Jayne saw him give Rose the same stupid googly-eyed stare that he sometimes saw Simon aim at Kaylee.  But the very next instant, something like pain clouded over the Doctor’s face, and he was excusing himself and rushing from the room.

 

Grumbling to himself, Jayne thudded down the stairs a moment after the Doctor.  In the cargo bay, he noticed that, to his relief, River was gone.  

 

_Danged bugs are creepifyin’ enough without Moonbrain staring at ‘em like they’re ‘bout to attack_ .

 

He checked over the cargo one last time, saw that each of the crates was secured tightly to the mule, and diligently ignored the Doctor when he ran back upstairs with a syringe.

 

“Jayne, what are you packin’?” Mal’s voice called out from the catwalk.  

 

He turned to see the captain and Zoe descending the stairs.

 

“I got my Le Mat on my belt and a huntin’ knife in my boot.”

 

“Might wanna bring along somethin’ else for safe keepin’,” the captain replied.

 

Jayne frowned.

 

“We got trouble, Cap’n?” he asked.

 

“Moop’s dead,” Zoe said shortly.  “Just saw it on the Cortex.”

 

“Guy who sold us the bugs?  What happened?” the merc asked.

 

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Mal replied.  “If it has anything to do with our cargo, that’s all the more reason to unload it as fast as we can.”

 

“I’ll go get Vera,” Jayne said.

 

He quickly ran up to his room to do just that, and when he returned, Zoe was already in the driver’s seat with Mal beside her.  Jayne hit the button for the door with a fist and hopped on the back of the mule.  

 

They hit the dirt road with a bounce and zoomed off for the nearest town.  There, the sheriff would meet them and deliver the rest of their Alliance payment.  Jayne was completely focused on the present, however.  He scanned the desert terrain for any sign of hostiles, Vera at the ready.  There was no one out, though.  Not anyone, friendly or otherwise.

 

When they arrived in town, Zoe drove the mule right up to the building marked “Police” and parked.  

 

“You stay with the cargo.  Zoe an’ I’ll find the Sheriff,” Mal said.

Jayne nodded and perched himself on top of the highest crate, trying to ignore the knowledge that thousands of squirming insects moved beneath him.  As crazy as River was, he had to agree with her on one point: he didn’t like these bugs.

 

It only took about a minute for the boredom to hit.  This town didn’t seem like it housed a threat.  In fact, he couldn’t help but notice that all of its inhabitants hurried through the street, heads down, to their destinations, as if they were consciously trying to avoid attracting attention.  All of its inhabitants, that is, except for one pair that caught his eye; a young man and an older woman.  They were approaching the police station in the midst of a loud argument.

 

“If you do this, then you ain’t no son of mine anymore, Darius Pak!”

 

“Mama, I’m doin’ this _for_ you.  The only way we’re gonna be safe is if we convince the Alliance that we don’t support that _fā kuáng_ rebellion!”

 

The boy sped up and his mother shouted after him.

 

“Roman is your friend!  You went to school with him!”

 

“And now he’s a danger to our town, and I’m gonna report him.  You don’t like it, you just turn around and go back home, Ma.”

 

“Your daddy—”

 

The boy swung around and raised his voice.

 

“My daddy is dead from fightin’ the Alliance.  He lost, Ma.  It’s over.  And anyone tryin’ to start it up again is liable to end up the same.  I won’t see my family hurt by it again.”

 

The young man ran up the steps to the station, leaving his mother in the street.  She leaned against the mule, seemingly ignorant of the large man with a gun sitting atop the crates.  Jayne was mildly offended that his intimidating presence had no effect on her.

 

“This would kill his daddy, if he weren’t already dead,” she muttered.

 

Jayne wasn’t sure if the old woman was talking to him or to herself, but he let out a generic grunt just to be on the safe side.  She squinted up at him in the morning sun.

 

“Your face don’t look familiar.  You ain’t from Slimton, are ya?” she asked appraisingly.

 

“No.”

 

“Good.  They’re the ones that started this all again, you know.  Two towns over, and it spread west, not east.  We ain’t got a thing to do with it, but does the _xié è_ Alliance care?  ‘Course not.”

 

None of it made any sense to Jayne, but then, that was a feeling he was somewhat accustomed to.  So, he did what he always did in these cases.  He let out another grunt.  The woman seemed to take this as a sound of solidarity, because she nodded fiercely.  She was quiet for a moment, then spoke again, sounding grave.

 

“Two hundred acres of mine, destroyed.  And now we gotta come here, beggin’ for the cure.”

 

Now this was something that perked Jayne’s ears up. 

 

“Cure?” he asked.

 

“Bugs, some such.  I don’t know.  My son says the bugs’ll fix the problem with the plague.”

 

Jayne sat bolt upright.

 

“Plague?  People dyin’ on this moon?” he demanded.

 

The woman looked, wrinkling her nose at him as if he’d just said something intolerably stupid.

 

“Not people.  Crops,” she barked.

 

“Well, whatever plague took the crops, the bugs in here’ll fix it.”

 

Jayne gave the crate he was sitting on a light kick.

 

The woman’s eyes dipped sharply, and when they found the Alliance seal on the frontmost crate, they narrowed.

 

“I don’t trust the cure when it comes from the ones spreadin’ the disease,” she said.

 

“Whaddya mean?” Jayne asked.

 

“I already tol’ you,” she snarled.  “Alliance punished us for what Slimton started.  It was like cropdustin’ but ‘stead of chemicals, they dropped nasty little things that eat up everythin’ they touch.”

 

Jayne shifted uncomfortably.

 

“What did Slimton start?”

 

“It weren’t nothin’ serious.  Just a piece of paper.  Legal, peaceable.  Somethin’ askin’ for fairness in the way the wealth of the ‘Verse is spread out.  A real flowery peace of writin’ that didn’t mean much to the people out here, but they could tell that it meant things’d get better on the Rim, so they signed it.”

 

“All this over a piece of paper?”

 

“It’s legal to petition, so the Alliance couldn’t arrest anyone.  So instead they dropped this gorram plague down on us in the dead of night, and now they’re pretendin’ like they sent us salvation.”

 

Jayne frowned.

 

“Why go through the trouble?”

 

The woman shrugged.

 

“Maybe the Alliance wants to show us just how dependent we are on them.  Maybe this is just what they do for fun.  Who knows?”

 

“And your boy don’t believe you?”

 

“Not everyone takes the word of old-timers like me.  Think we’re just paranoid Browncoats.  But deep down, he’s just scared; we all are.  Purple bellies came in and told us they got word of a rebellion in the works.  ‘If you see somethin’, say somethin’.’  Same old _go-se_.”

 

Just then, her son emerged from the police station.  He studiously ignored his mother’s eyes.

 

“You proud of yourself, Darius?” she asked as he approached.

 

“I did what had to be done,” he said in a low voice.

 

He strode right past his mother and down the street.  The woman shook her head.

 

“He did what they wanted him to do.  We all will, if they get their way.”

 

She pushed off the crates and straightened her dusty clothes.  Then she went after her son.

 

“All right, Jayne.  Unload ‘em right here,” Mal called out from behind him.

 

Jayne had to shake his head clear of the woman’s words.

 

“Huh?” he asked.

 

Mal rolled his eyes.

 

“I know I’m pretty, but try to focus on the words comin’ outta my mouth.  Unload the cargo right here.”

 

Jayne let out a low growl, but set to work.

 

“We get paid?” he asked.

 

“Less one burnt crate, yes,” Zoe replied, climbing atop the mule to help Jayne unsnap the bungees.  

 

“Gorram pro-Alliance scum cost us a handful of silver,” Mal muttered.

 

“Let’s unload these crates and get outta here.  Somethin’ tells me this ain’t a planet  we wanna spend any more time on than we hafta,” Jayne said. He worked quickly to stack the crates on the steps of the station.  It was probably best not tell Mal about any of this independence _go-se_.  

 

_He might get it in his head to do somethin’ stupid and heroic.  And not financially advantageous_ , the mercenary thought.

 

The sheriff’s men came out and started collecting the cargo.

 

“That’s right.  The Paks.  Darius and Suzette.  The son knows too much,” one officer said to another.

 

“Knew Suzette was still trouble,” the other one grumbled.

 

“Just swing by later an’ take ‘em in.  At night.  Less fuss.  Don’t let the neighbors see,” his colleague replied, taking the other end of a crate and hoisting it up.

 

Jayne’s eyes widened.

 

“Somethin’ wrong?” Zoe asked.

 

Jayne paused.  What did he care if one old lady and her brat kid got detained?  They’d probably be released after a little interrogation revealed they weren’t involved in any rebellion anyway.  Jayne wasn’t a Browncoat the first time around, and he wasn’t looking to sign up now.

 

“Just let’s go,” he said brusquely.  “I hate this job.”

 

“You’re just afraid of bugs,” Zoe teased, but she took her seat and started up the mule.

 

“Maybe I got reason to be,” Jayne murmured.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Ni shi bai chi, zhu tou = You’re an idiot, pig head
> 
> Too zai zi = Son of a rabbit!
> 
> fā kuáng = crazy
> 
> xié è = wicked
> 
> go-se = shit


	12. Chapter Twelve

 

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

 

Rose never slept better than she did in the engine room of _Serenity_.  The hum of the rotating machinery, the warmth radiating from the center of the room, the gentle swaying of the hammock; it all seemed calculated to form the perfect napping environment.  Of course, the impressive cocktail of painkillers that the Doctor had injected her with may also have had an influence.  In any case, Rose slept deeply.

 

Still, every once in a while her eyes drifted open, and she vaguely registered something happening around her.  The first time, she saw Kaylee hopping around the room from one piece of equipment to the other.  It reminded her of the Doctor racing around the time rotor in the TARDIS, and she smiled to herself.  In the back of her mind, she noted that the ship was rumbling and the hammock was rocking more vigorously than before, but before she could ask Kaylee if they were leaving Paquin, she drifted back to sleep.

 

The second time Rose opened her eyes, she saw Mal sitting on the floor beside the engine.  He was resting his forehead against his knees, obscuring his face from view.  Even so, Rose could tell from his posture that there was something wrong.

 

“You okay?” she asked.

 

His head shot up at the sound of her voice.  He was clearly surprised to have an audience, but tried to cover his reaction by turning towards a piece of equipment.

 

“Just checkin’ the engine,” he said 

 

Rose shifted in the hammock, facing him more fully.  She felt a powerful need to be helpful.

 

“As long as we’re both here, you might as well talk to me.  I’m a good listener,” she said. 

 

“Nothin’ to tell,” he said gruffly, standing up.  He paused in the doorway and turned back to her.  “Less than an hour to Persephone.”

 

Some niggling voice in the back of Rose’s mind wanted to call out to Mal, to get him to stay and talk about what was really bothering him.  But he’d said he had nothing to share, and for some strange reason, Rose felt compelled to take him at his word.

 

Before she could reconcile the two warring impulses, he left the room.  Rose’s eyes slid shut again.

 

The third time that Rose awoke, Jayne was staring at her.  At first he didn’t notice that she was watching him watching her.  His eyes were glassy, and he smelled of beer.

 

“What are you doing?” she asked.

 

He blinked, but then seemed to unfreeze.  He pushed off from the engine and took a few tentative steps towards her.

 

“We’re on Persephone.”

 

“Oh.”

 

It didn’t answer her question at all, but she didn’t want to press him.  After a moment’s pause, he continued on his own volition. 

 

“Mal went to drop Inara off in the shuttle.  He’ll fly it back to _Serenity_ and leave her behind.”

 

He brought a bottle to his lips. Rose nodded, even though it still wasn’t the answer she was looking for.  Repeating her earlier question seemed rude, so instead she made an observation. 

 

“You seem upset.”

 

Jayne looked down at his feet.

 

“It’s nothin’.”

 

He took a deep gulp of beer, and offered her the bottle.  Normally she would refuse (painkillers and alcohol didn’t tend to mix well) but she felt like she couldn’t in this case.  Jayne needed her right now, and she wanted to help.  She took a swig.  

 

“I mean, there was nothin’ I could’a done,” Jayne continued.

 

Rose paused, considering him.  Then her mouth was moving before she knew what she meant to say.

 

“Of course not.”

 

Jayne squinted at her.

 

“You don’t even know what I’m talkin’ about,” he pointed out.

 

Rose frowned.  He was right.  Why had she agreed with him?  

 

“No, but I believe you,” she heard herself say.

 

It was true.  She _did_ believe him.  She could feel it.

 

“Why?” he asked.

 

Good question.  She felt herself shrug.

 

“Just do.”

 

He gazed at her like she had just said the most extraordinary thing he’d ever heard.  He shook his head, as if to clear it, almost like he didn’t expect her to still be there.  When she didn’t magically disappear, he took another step, bringing him up to the hammock.  His fingertips grazed the striped fabric, teasing a loose thread.  He opened his mouth, but a second later, he faltered and shut it again.  She could tell that he was struggling, and that he needed to talk to someone.  He needed _her_.

 

“Tell me,” Rose urged quietly.

 

She reached out and took his hand in hers.  That seemed to be all the encouragement that Jayne needed, because suddenly he was kneeling beside her and telling her about a woman he met on Paquin.  

 

Suzette Pak was a good woman, he told her.  She wasn’t doing anything wrong.  She just wanted to make a living without interference.  And now, for all he knew her dumb kid got the both of them trapped in some interrogation room being intimidated by an idiot with a badge, or worse, on a shuttle being transferred to an Alliance prison on some trumped up treason charge.

 

When he finished his story, Jayne brought the hand that wasn’t holding hers up to his face.  He rubbed his palm roughly across his eyes and muttered a Chinese swear under his breath.

 

Rose squeezed his hand, and he looked at her, eyes a little redder than before.

 

“Go ahead.  Tell me I should’a done somethin’,” he said miserably.

 

She frowned.

 

“What could you have done?” she asked.

 

He frowned back.

 

“I dunno.  Found out where she lived, warned her.”

 

He shook his head and looked away.  Rose couldn’t think of anything to say, so she just squeezed his hand again.

 

“Bet the Doctor would’a done somethin’, wouldn’t he?” Jayne asked.

 

“Yeah, he would’ve,” Rose answered honestly.  “But we can’t all be like the Doctor.  There wouldn’t be a need for him if we could.”

 

Her answer didn’t seem to make him feel better.  He wouldn’t look at her.  She hated to see anyone so downtrodden, so she tried again.

 

“Jayne,” she began.  She waited until he looked up.  “You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself, yeah?  You’re a good person.”

 

He let out a derisive snort.

 

“I mean it,” she insisted.  “You wouldn’t be beating yourself up right now if you weren’t.  You’d be, I don’t know, focusing on how to spend the money you just made on the sale.  You listened to Suzette’s story, and you shared it with me, because you care about her.”

 

“Yeah, fat lot of good that does her and her boy now,” he snapped, but at least he was still looking at her.

 

He tried to pull his hand away, but she held on.  

 

“Jayne, the next time you meet someone who needs your help, you’ll think of Suzette and you’ll do the right thing,” she assured him.  

 

His face screwed up in what she could only think to describe as anguish, and she found herself speaking again.

 

“Hey, messing up is part of being human.  We’re all just works-in-progress.  What makes you a good person isn’t always doing the right thing; it’s learning to do the right thing more often.”

 

And then he was giving her that look again. Not the anguished look, but the one like he couldn’t believe she was really in the room talking to him.  Awe, she thought absently.  That was the look.  

 

When he spoke again, his voice was so low it was barely a rumble against the noise of the ship.

 

“I tell you, if you wasn’t already the Doctor’s girl…”

 

His voice trailed off. 

 

“Oh, I’m not his girl.”

 

“Yeah.  Sure,” he scoffed.

 

Rose’s brow crinkled slightly.  Part of her knew that she was supposed to be lying to the crew about this, but some other part wouldn’t let her do it.  Before she could stop herself, she was speaking again.

 

“We’re just friends.  Best friends,” she said.

 

He gave her a deeply skeptical glance, and she had to continue.

 

“We’ve never even kissed.  Well, not really.  He could look like a Ken doll down there for all I know.”

 

It was like she couldn’t stop the words from coming out.  And for some reason, she didn’t want to.  Jayne raised an eyebrow.

 

“You’re sharin’ a bed.”

 

She rolled her eyes.

 

“Yeah, well there’s no danger of anything happening there.”

 

“Well, what the _guai_ ’s wrong with him?” Jayne blurted out.

 

She shrugged, but again felt compelled to answer.

 

“He isn’t like other blokes.”

 

Realization seemed to flood over him. 

 

“Oh!” he said.  “So he’s sly?”

 

The way he said ‘sly’ made it sound like something more than the word Rose understood, but the Doctor was clever, so she answered truthfully.

 

“The Doctor?  Yeah, he’s very sly.”

 

Jayne smiled.  

 

“That makes sense.”

 

Then, just as suddenly as it had appeared, the smile on Jayne’s face was gone. 

 

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” he muttered.  “I mean, you’d never…”

 

She was confused.  Off her blank look, he continued in a mumble.

 

“I mean, I’m not smart or rich.”

 

Once more, the truth seemed like the best response.

 

“No,” she said simply.

 

Jayne looked as if she’d just slapped him.

 

“Right.  I guess that sort of thing must matter a lot to a girl like you.”

 

She frowned again.

 

“Not at all.  Not to me,” she said.

 

“No?” he asked, surprise evident on his face.  

 

She shook her head, and noted with some surprise that he seemed to be coming closer.

 

“Why are you leaning in?” she asked.

 

“I don’t know.  Why are you?” he returned. 

 

She realized that she was matching his movements.  It just seemed like she should follow his lead.  It was right, somehow.  She couldn’t provide him with a reason why, so she just waited and watched him lean in further still.

 

“Rose, can I… can I kiss you?” he asked.

 

She frowned.  Could he kiss her?  Surely he could.  And if he wanted to, he should.  She was, after all, trying to help him.

 

“Of course,” she replied.

 

The words were barely out of her mouth before his lips descended on hers.  

 

She felt like she shouldn’t be doing this, but she couldn’t quite remember why.  So, when he slanted his mouth over hers and she felt his tongue brush against her lips, she parted them immediately.  His hands came up to her face and she mirrored his motion with her good hand.  He moaned into her mouth, and she buried her fingers in his hair.  

 

“JAYNE COBB!” a voice called out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> guai = hell
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: I know this chapter was a short one, but the next one is longer. Promise!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

_“JAYNE COBB!” a voice called out._

Jayne ripped his lips away from Rose’s with an audible _smack_ , and his eyes went impossibly wide.  Kaylee stood in the doorway, mouth still hanging open after her noisy greeting.  Behind her stood the Doctor, looking at Rose in complete bewilderment.

“I didn’t do it!” Jayne exclaimed, scrambling to his feet.

“I thought you didn’t kiss on the mouth!” Kaylee accused.

Rose took everything in, trying to assess if now was an appropriate time to speak.  Everyone seemed very upset, and she couldn’t figure out why.

“I _asked_ her if I could, and she said yes!” Jayne bellowed.

The mechanic threw her hands into the air.

“She’s looped up on painkillers!” she exclaimed.

Jayne’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, so it can’t just be that she _wanted_ to kiss me?  It has to be that she’s outta her gorram mind?”

“ _Ni shi bai chi_!  Look at who’s standin’ next to me!” Kaylee ordered.

Jayne’s eyes darted over to the Doctor, and he winced.

“She tol’ me the Doc’s sly!” Jayne bellowed.

“The Doctor's with Rose!  He doesn’t _play for the other team_!” Kaylee said, scandalized. 

“Not this time around, no,” the Doctor said mildly, still giving Rose that appraising look, like she was a TARDIS glitch he had to fix.

“Hang on, did you mean _gay_?  I didn’t know that’s what you meant! ” Rose gasped.  Then she turned to the Doctor.  “Wait, what do you mean, ‘not this time around?’”

“Rose, did you drink any tea?” the Doctor asked, ignoring her question.

She frowned, thrown off by the odd subject change.

“Tea?”

“Yes, there was tea that Inara had in the kitchen.  Did you mistakenly drink some?” the Doctor clarified.

“I haven’t had any tea.  Just some of Jayne’s beer.”

The Doctor immediately plucked the bottle from Jayne’s grasp and held it up to his nose for a sniff.

“Hey!  I didn’t drug her, if that’s what you’re thinkin’,” Jayne snarled.  “That’s not what I do to get women.”

“No, you’ve made it abundantly clear that you pay for them,” the Doctor said coolly.

He took a small sip from the bottle and smacked his lips a few times.

“No, nothing there,” he concluded.  

“I toldja,” Jayne grumbled.

The Doctor pulled at his hair. 

“Think!” he told himself impatiently. 

“Couldn’t it’ve just been the painkillers?” Kaylee asked.

The Doctor waved a hand in the air.

“Out of the question.  I didn’t give her nearly enough to cause susceptibility to behavioral suggestion.”

“Huh?” Jayne said, scratching his head.

“You said that you asked her if you could kiss her, and she said yes,” the Doctor explained.  “Did she seem inclined to follow your lead in any other ways?”

Jayne looked like he was about to get offended again, but something stopped him.

“When I was leanin’ in, she—No.  This is a _yú chǔn_ theory.  She’s not under a spell or somethin’,” he snapped.

The Doctor sighed.  Then he turned to Rose.

“Rose, wouldn’t you like to kiss Kaylee?”

Rose’s initial instinct was to laugh, but something held her tongue.  She shifted her gaze over to the mechanic, and tilted her head to the side.  She gave the young woman a curious look.  Now that the Doctor mentioned it, that _did_ seem like exactly what she wanted to do.

“Kaylee, come closer,” she asked reasonably.

Kaylee’s eyes widened and she stared, open-mouthed at the Doctor.

“What’s wrong with her?” she asked.

“I’ll be in my bunk,” Jayne muttered, heading for the door.

But before he could make a hasty exit, someone blocked his path.

“Little spies.  They plant the seed.”

River leaned against the doorframe.  Her eyes were set on Rose.

“Gorramit, girl!  Get outta here,” Jayne growled. 

“Oh, that’s it!” the Doctor shouted suddenly.

His eyebrows were nearly at his hairline, and his eyes were wide with understanding.

“What?” Kaylee prompted.

“Jayne, can you carry Rose down to the infirmary?” he asked.

Rose frowned again.  She rolled towards the edge of the hammock and pulled herself into a seated position.

“I can walk,” she said.

“I think you’ll find that you can’t,” the Doctor replied calmly.

Ignoring him, Rose pushed off and landed on her feet.  Her knees wobbled and before she knew what was happening, the ground was rushing up at her.  Jayne’s arms went around her waist and hauled her up before she hit the floor.  He cradled her and lifted her like a baby.

“Will she be okay?” he asked the Doctor.

“Let’s go,” the Doctor replied.

Before she could ask why he didn’t just answer Jayne’s question, the Doctor was leading the way to the infirmary.  Book and Simon were in the cargo bay when they passed through.

“What’s going on?” the young doctor asked.

“I have it well in hand,” the older Doctor replied, brushing past him.  

“If you wanna help, doc, you keep your _shen jing bing_ sister outta the way,” Jayne snarled, gesturing at River, who was slinking along behind them.

“River, stay here,” Simon called out, grabbing his sister by the arm.

She gave him a pout, but stayed put.  Rose barely noticed this, however, as Jayne was rushing after the Doctor.  He had in her the exam chair in seconds, and by then the Doctor was ready for her.

“Rose, you might need to remove your dress,” he said calmly.

Rose blinked.

“What?  Why?” she asked, her voice suddenly very high. 

The Doctor continued in a perfectly normal tone of voice.

“Not immediately, but I need to check your body for puncture wounds.  If I can’t find any straight away, then—”

“You think someone injected her with somethin’?” Kaylee asked.

“Not some _one_ ,” the Doctor replied enigmatically.

Kaylee squinted in confusion, but then nodded anyway.

“I’ll help,” she offered.

“Me too,” Jayne piped up.

The Doctor turned towards the mercenary, his eyes narrowed.

“You can stay the hell away from her,” he said in a low voice.

“Doctor!” Rose gasped.  “Be nice!”

In a second his lips were at her ear.  His voice came out in a harsh whisper, his breath hot against her face.

“We’re supposed to be a couple, and I just caught him snogging you.  Let me be the jealous boyfriend.”

She swallowed hard, but when he pulled back a few inches, she nodded.  The Doctor turned a steely glower on Jayne.  Rose knew this look.  This was The Oncoming Storm.  Jayne glared back at the Doctor, but his resolve wavered seconds later, and he bowed out, grumbling to himself.

Rose jumped when Kaylee’s fingers touched her arm.

“Sorry!” the mechanic squeaked.  “Just checking for marks.”

“Oh, right,” the blond replied, shaking herself.

The Doctor was on her other side, his fingertips brushing down her bicep, gently turning her elbow to check the inside before skimming down to her wrist.  Rose knew that there was a very good reason for her to keep her mouth shut at this moment in time, but she could feel the words bubbling over before she could stop them.

“I thought you were going to kiss me last night,” she whispered.

The Doctor’s eyes jumped to hers, but he didn’t speak.  His hands stopped moving.

“You came into the room so upset.  The way you looked at me when I said I’d stay with you forever, I thought—”

“I’m sorry about that.  I was a bit out of sorts,” the Doctor cut her off.  She saw him glance over at Kaylee, and Rose saw that the girl was blushing, clearing thinking that she was intruding on a personal moment.  

The Doctor’s fingers started their gentle search again, but Rose covered them with her good hand to halt him once more.

“Don’t be sorry,” Rose said.  “I wanted you to.  I’ve wanted you to for a long time.”

The Doctor pulled his hand away instantly and buried it in his hair.  He looked up at the ceiling, then at the walls; everywhere but at her.  

“Rose, please stop.  Talk about anything else, just not this.  You wouldn’t normally—There’s something—You’re not yourself,” he stammered.

She wanted to correct him, to tell him that she was more herself now, speaking the truth, than she’d ever been.  But he’d given her an order:  Stop talking about it, and for whatever reason, she found herself unable to disobey him.

“I see somethin’,” Kaylee said.

The Doctor leapt to her side.

“Where?” he demanded.

Kaylee tapped a spot that Rose couldn’t see herself.  It was on her back between her neck and shoulder.  Rose swept her hair to the side and tilted her head to the opposite side.

“What is it?” she asked.  

“It looks like a bug bite,” Kaylee said.

The Doctor straightened up.

“Exactly,” he said.

Before Rose could ask what he meant by that, she felt a sharp pain from her arm.

“Ah!”

“Sorry,” the Doctor said quickly.  “Need a blood sample.”

The Doctor began flitting about the lab, placing the vial of Rose’s blood in some sort of machine that shook and then fiddling with a few dials.

“What are you checking for?” Rose asked.

“Truth serum of some kind and a chemical that makes you persuadable.  Maybe a few other surprises.”

“What from?”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. 

“Have you seen Harriet?”

“Our beetle?” Kaylee asked.

He nodded.

“That’s the one.”

Rose peered up at him.

“What, Harriet bit me?” 

He gave another curt nod. 

“And injected you with some very bad things, I’m guessing— _Wellll_ , I say guessing.  What I mean is ‘put together about a hundred complex pieces of data in my remarkable brain and churned out a very accurate predication.”

Rose adopted her best ‘ _you think you’re_ so _impressive_ ’ frown.

“How do you know it’s accurate if it’s still a prediction,” she asked.

The Doctor smirked at her.

“Funny you should ask that, because I happen to know just the girl who can help me confirm my suspicions.”

“River?” Kaylee ventured.

“That’s the one!” the Doctor replied brightly.  “Let’s go find her shall we?” 

When he moved toward the door, Rose called out to him.

“Doctor, I need you to…”

She held up her arms, gesturing that she would need to be carried.  The Doctor considered her for a moment before shaking his head.

“You should stay here.  You’ll be okay, but I need to figure things out first.”

“But—”

“Trust me?” he asked.

That just wasn’t fair.  He knew very well that she’d have to answer truthfully.  She scowled at him, but begrudgingly replied.

“Always.”

He gave her a very satisfied smirk, and she wished she could wipe it off of his face.  Kaylee shot her an apologetic glance and followed the Doctor out of the med bay.

In the cargo bay, things were in a state of disarray.

“River, stop it!  Kaylee and Rose will be upset,” Simon was saying, holding his sister by the arm.

“What’s going on?” the Doctor asked.

“Crazy’s goin’ after the beetle now,” Jayne answered, pointing in the direction that River was trying to lunge.

Harriet Jones: Beetle sat on the corner of the stairs, calmly taking in the proceedings. 

“Oh, brilliant!  The two girls I needed to see, right here in the same place.”

Without explaining himself, the Doctor strode over to the stairs.  He gently pinched Harriet’s abdomen between his thumb and forefinger and raised her to his eyes.

“Lovely.  Do you see this Kaylee?” he asked.  Kaylee cautiously went to his side and peered at the bug.  “She’s developing into an adult.  She’s grown an extra set of legs and you can just make out a pair of wing buds starting up just behind the pronotum.”

Kaylee nodded, confusion written on her face.

“Could you hold her for me, just like I’m doing?  Keep your fingers clear of her mouthparts.”

“Uh, sure,” Kaylee replied, looking uncomfortable as the Doctor transferred Harriet into her grasp.

He pulled his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and scanned the squirming insect.  Retrieving his glasses from his pocket, he slipped them on and stared at the device for a moment.  Squinting, he shook it, scanned Harriet once more, and stared at it again.  He nodded, although it seemed to be for his own benefit rather than anyone else’s.  Finally, he spoke.

“I know exactly what’s happening, and I’ll explain it all.  But first I need River’s help,” he announced.

He turned towards the teenager, who had stopped struggling against her brother and was now giving the Doctor a critical look.

“Well, I’m sorry, Doctor, but that might have to wait,” a voice called from above them.

Every head turned to see Mal entering the catwalk from the direction of Inara’s shuttle.  He was wearing a cowboy hat and, more curiously, had an unconscious man slung over his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Ni shi bai chi = You are an idiot
> 
> yú chǔn = stupid
> 
> Shen jing bing = lunatic
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: Mal wears a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool.
> 
> Please review!!


	14. Chapter Fourteen

 

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

 

_Every head turned to see Mal entering the catwalk from the direction of Inara’s shuttle. He was wearing a cowboy hat and, more curiously, had an unconscious man slung over his shoulder._

 

 

 

**_Three Hours Earlier…_ **

 

 

Mal left the engine room in a powerfully bad mood.  He thought he’d found the one place he could be alone; no Book trying to feed him some sermon about life’s challenges, or Wash trying to distract him by making fun of Jayne, or even Zoe just sitting silently but _knowing_ what was going through his mind.  But then Rose had stirred awake and started asking him to talk about his feelings.  He just wanted to sit and _be_ , but that was out of the question now.  If he hid in his room, it would only indicate to everyone how _not_ okay he was, and that just wasn’t an option.  So he headed downstairs instead.  

 

 

 

 

 

He could hear Kaylee’s voice pouring out of Inara’s shuttle.  She’d been following the Companion around like a lost puppy all afternoon, helping her pack.  She’d even found a camera and started taking video, saying something about needing to document the presence of a bona fide Companion onboard.  

 

He pushed ahead until he found himself alone in the lounge by the med bay.  Having less than an hour to kill before they broke atmo in Persephone, he lay back on the couch and closed his eyes.  With any luck, the crew would be smart enough to leave him be until it was time for the shuttle to take off.

 

He almost made it.

 

“Oh, hello!”

 

Mal kept his eyes shut, hoping that the far-too-energetic Doctor would move along.

 

No such luck.

 

“Feels like we’re getting quite close to the atmosphere.  Lovely planet, Persephone.  Named for the daughter of Zeus and Demeter.”

 

Mal released a longsuffering sigh.  He’d rather sit through a sermon than history lesson.  The Doctor continued, apparently oblivious to his less-than-enthusiastic audience.

 

“Persephone was abducted by her uncle Hades, who found her so lovely he had to have her all to himself.  Don’t hold it against him, though.  The gods had a very limited family tree so it was either incest or take the form of a swan or some-such and trick a human into—well, it’s all very distasteful.” 

 

Mal opened his eyes now, just enough to see the Doctor ruffle his hair, as if he was trying to shake himself to get back on track.  He inhaled deeply and continued his story.

 

“In any case, there’s poor Persephone, stuck in the Underworld, and her mother throws an absolute _fit_.  Being Goddess of the Harvest, Demeter has a bit of pull and before long she gets Zeus to force Hades to let the girl go.  Hades agrees, but not before he tricks his niece into eating a pomegranate.  Have you ever had one?”

 

It took Mal a second to realize that he was expected to make a reply.  He shook his head.

 

“They’re much better than pears, but then, that’s not saying much.  But really, they’re heavenly.  Which is quite ironic, considering the myth that they’re famous for.”

 

The Doctor grinned at him.  Mal just stared.

 

“In any case, Persephone managed to swallow four or six seeds, depending on the version of the myth that you read, and for reasons that are a bit beyond logical comprehension, this means that she must return to the Underworld with Hades for four or six months out of every year, although she’d actually grown quite fond of him by then and didn’t mind so much.  She _did_ get to be a queen, even if it was Queen of the Underworld.  And that’s how we get seasons.”

 

“Hmm?” Mal exhaled without realizing it.  The Doctor took in the frown on the captain’s face and seemed to realize that more explanation was needed.

 

“While Persephone is stuck down below, her mother makes the earth barren out of grief.  She brings winter to the land.”  Here the Doctor paused, and a look of dismay crossed over his face.  “Blimey, aren’t we all lucky that Jackie Tyler isn’t endowed with power over the harvest?”

 

“You lost me again, Doc,” Mal sighed, sitting up now.

 

“Rose’s mum,” the man supplied.

 

Mal let out a snort.

 

“Trouble with the in-laws?” he said.

 

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. 

 

“The point of the myth, I think, is this,” he began, ignoring Mal’s question.  “When you find someone worth holding on to, don’t let anyone or anything get in your way.”

 

Mal blinked.  Gorram it if the Doctor’s Greek myths weren’t just as sanctimonious as the shepherd’s Bible stories. 

 

“Or maybe it’s ‘Don’t eat fruit offered to you by your kidnappers,’ but in any case, the Greeks also thought it was a good idea to toss around javelins in the nude, so maybe we shouldn’t blindly follow their example.”

 

The captain frowned.  Then again, maybe the Doctor wasn’t trying to preach.  Maybe he was just a bit off his rocker.  He had, after all, been through the same torture as River.  

 

Before he could think too deeply on it, _Serenity_ shook.

 

“We’ve broken atmo,” the Doctor announced, looking upwards.

 

“Thanks for the story,” Mal said, not really meaning it.  He stood.  “I should head up.”

 

The Doctor nodded.

 

“Say goodbye to Inara for me.  Tell her she makes a lovely cup of tea.”

 

Mal didn’t reply.  He headed straight for Inara’s shuttle, but redirected when he heard her voice coming from the kitchen.  

 

There she stood, by the dining table, looking as lovely and stately as ever in her crimson dress.  She was surrounded by the crew, giving out hugs and promises to keep in touch.  Kaylee was beside herself, and Simon had to practically pry the girl’s arms from around Inara’s middle.  Once removed, the arms found their way around Simon, and the mechanic buried her tearstained face in the doctor’s chest.  When Mal had seen enough, he spoke up.

 

“We’re gonna be late.”

 

Inara turned, only just now noticing him in the doorway.

 

“Of course.  I’ll be right there,” she said formally.

 

Mal gave a curt nod and turned.  Fine.  If she was going to be cold and formal, he could do the same.  He wouldn’t give away an ounce of emotion.  He could let her leave without giving her the satisfaction of seeing his anger.

 

Of course, those plans went straight out the air hatch the instant he stepped into Inara’s shuttle.

 

“What’s all this still doin’ up?” he demanded as soon as she entered the room.

 

The sumptuous fabrics that decorated the walls and ceiling were still hanging there.  They didn’t hold the same glow in the absence of the candles that the Companion normally lit in every corner of the room, but all the same, they surely didn’t belong there anymore.

 

“They’ll have a room ready for me on Sihnon.  You can sell it.  It’s all real velvet and satin, hundreds of yards.  It’ll fetch an excellent price, even used.”

 

“I don’t need your charity.”

 

Inara pulled back a bit, surprised by the vitriol in his response.

 

“It’s not charity.  You’d be doing me a favor.  It’ll be too much trouble to bring it all with me,” she said reasonably.

 

He gave a very Jayne-like grunt of disapproval, prompting her to roll her eyes and continued.

 

“Give it to Kaylee, then.  Tell her it’s a parting gift from me.  I’m sure she’d love to hang some of it in her room.”

 

“Because _Serenity_ ’s not good enough the way she is, right?” Mal grumbled.

 

Inara’s eyes widened, then narrowed in irritation.

 

“Mal, you know I didn’t mean—”

 

“I never know what you mean, Inara, because you never just say it,” he interrupted.

 

He knew that wasn’t fair at all.  He did more than his fair share of tiptoeing around the truth in their relationship, whatever it was.  But he was just so angry.  He hadn’t really let himself feel anything about her leaving him—them.  Leaving _them_.  Now it was all just rushing out of him.

 

“Please don’t be like this,” she said quietly, taking her seat in the pilot’s chair.  “You know this wasn’t an easy decision to make.”

 

He watched her start the shuttle’s engine and call up to Wash.

 

“Am I set, Wash?”

 

“ _You’re good to go, Ambassador._ ”  There was a pause.  Then, “ _We’re going to miss you, Inara_.”

 

Mal watched Inara struggle to swallow.  She steadied herself before replying.

 

“I’m going to miss you too.”

 

She pulled back on the throttle and the shuttle gently eased away from the ship.  Mal walked up to the cockpit and sat himself down in the passenger seat with a _thump_.

 

“It’s not a decision,” he said suddenly.

 

She turned to him, confused.

 

“Leaving _Serenity_ ,” he clarified.

 

She turned back to the shuttle’s controls.

 

“Of course it is.”

 

He gritted his teeth and stared out the windshield.  

 

“There’s a decision to be made on my ship, and you’re runnin’ away from that decision.”

 

“Don’t,” she bit out.

 

“Don’t what?” he asked petulantly.

 

He could feel her eyes on him.

 

“I _tried_ to talk to you about this.  I told you I was confused two nights ago, and you didn’t want to discuss it.  In fact, you accused me of trying to manipulate you.  So don’t try to talk this out with me now, minutes before I leave.”

 

When he finally looked over at her, she was staring stonily ahead once again.  How could she act like he was the one at fault here?  _She_ was the one leaving _him_.  And for what reason?  Because he was too strong?  That’s what she’d said, wasn’t it?  It made no sense.

 

He stared down at the landscape rapidly coming into focus.  Persephone.  The last time he was here, he’d almost been killed in a duel.  He frowned.  And, come to think of it, Inara almost left then too.  To be with that _chou wang ba dan_ Atherton Wing.  His mouth was open before he could think to censor his speech.

 

“You’re right.  This is good.”  A quick sideways glance told him that he had Inara’s wary attention.  “Now you can start over away from all this dirt and grime.  You can entertain the girls back home with stories about that time you went slummin’ with a misfit crew of bandits.  Or hey, don’t go back to whorin’ at all.  I bet your pal Atherton Wing is still kickin’ around on this planet.  Maybe you can look him up, ask him if the offer to be his permanent Companion still stands.”

 

When he turned to look at her, it wasn’t hurt that he saw in her eyes; it was anger.

 

“If you think this is about me settling down because of the _dirt and grime_ of this life, then you know me even less than I thought.”

 

He laughed.

 

“How can anyone know you, Inara?  You’re always puttin’ on a show.”

 

“And you’re not?” she retorted.

 

He pinned her with a glare.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

She met his level stare with one of her own.

 

“The stoic captain, the hardened criminal, the lonely soldier.  You play your roles too.  We all do.”

 

“None so well as you.  You’re a professional.”

 

She blinked and forfeited their staring contest.  Her hands tightened on the steering wheel.

 

“I guess I didn’t realize just how much you hate me now.”

 

He thought he might have seen her blink again to force back tears, but he couldn’t be sure.  The ground was rushing ever closer into focus.  They were minutes from landing, and what had he accomplished?  

 

“Inara, I don’t—”

 

“Mal, we’re probably never going to meet again face-to-face.  I’d like to part as friends.”

 

She gave him a plaintive look, and he found himself unable to meet her eyes.  So instead he looked down at his hands when he spoke.

 

“So, Warrick’ll meet us in the landing bay?” 

 

“Yes.  He and his staff will meet us there and transfer my belongings to his home, and I’ll accompany him to Sihnon on his business trip next week.”

 

Her voice was cool and formal once more.  Mal sighed.

 

“He’s a good man, Warrick,” he said, for lack of anything else to say.

 

“Yes, he is.”

 

Sir Warrick Harrow _was_ a good man, even if he did deal in black market cattle.  He was a man who valued common decency and detested pettiness, which was probably why he agreed to be Mal’s second against Atherton Wing in the duel. 

 

Inara made a simple call down to ground control and was cleared for landing.  She set the shuttle down into its designated spot with ease and turned off the engine.  Mal felt as if his legs were frozen.  He couldn’t move.  Inara seemed to be feeling the same, because she hadn’t shifted an inch.

 

A knock at the shuttle door made them both jump.

 

“That’ll be Warrick,” Inara said shakily.

 

She stood and made her way out of the cockpit, Mal following behind her.  When she opened the door, however, it wasn’t Warrick that they saw.

 

“Atherton?” Inara blurted out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Chou wang ba dan = lousy bastard
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: Cliffhanger powers—Activate!!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know that several readers have never seen Firefly, and have no idea who Atherton Wing is beyond what I've mentioned. While you don't really need any additional info, Atherton comes from such a fun episode that I thought I'd like to a Youtube Video with him in it. The video is actually pretty long, but I synced it to his appearance (although Kaylee is totally adorable in the beginning of the clip, in case you want to rewind). Okay, that's all from me. On with the story!

 

**CH** **APTER FIFTEEN**

 

_She stood and made her way out of the cockpit, Mal following behind her.  When she opened the door, however, it wasn’t Warrick that they saw._

 

_“Atherton?” Inara blurted out._

 

Sure enough, Atherton Wing stood before them, looking as pompous and self-satisfied as ever.  

 

“Where’s Warrick?” Mal demanded.

 

Atherton smiled genially.

 

“He was waylaid.  I thought I’d provide a welcome instead,” he said.

 

Mal forced a similarly phony smile onto his face and replied energetically. 

 

“Well, that’s mighty hospitable of you, Ath.  We _did_ previously establish that I can call y ou Ath, didn’t we?”

 

Atherton’s smile faltered momentarily before he pasted it back on.

 

“Actua lly, you can call me _Sir_ Wing now.  There’s a ball in my honor this evening to celebrate my new lordship.”

He gestured to his chest, and Mal noticed for the first time the red sash draped across his body.

 

“They givin’ out lordships for being a whiny little rat now?” Mal asked.

 

“Apparently,” Inara replied

 

Although Mal hadn’t been asking her specifically, he felt himself relax a bit at her response.  He enjoyed even more the look of disgust that the Companion was giving the newly honored aristocrat.

 

“Atherton, what is the meaning of this?” 

 

Mal turned to see Warrick Harrow blustering towards them, followed by a posse of staff with luggage carts.  He was relieved the see the large man was unharmed and had apparently been on his way to retrieve Inara and her belongings, as arranged.

 

Atherton lifted his chin and answered defiantly.

 

“You must know, Sir Harrow.  After all, you were fined for the illegal sale of cattle to this man not six months ago.  Unfortunately for Captain Reynolds, the punishment for transfer and sale of that contraband off-planet bears a much steeper penalty.  Guards.”

 

On his last word, two men in green uniforms appeared from around the corner.  Mal didn’t struggle as they pulled his arms behind his back and zip-tied them together.

 

“You gotta be kiddin’ me, Ath.  What is this?  Pent up frustration from not bein’ able to buy a Companion?  You got _yourself_ blacklisted from Guild, you know,” he taunted.

 

Atherton let out a laugh.

 

“I’m married now,” he said.

 

“I shudder to think what you must have done to trick a woman into marrying you,” Inara spat.

 

Mal grinned again, but Atherton seemed unaffected by her words.

 

“Miss Serra, it was lovely to see you.  I trust that Sir Harrow will see you safely off planet in a few days time, but please allow me to personally invite you to my ball tonight.”

 

Inara started towards them, only to be held back by Warrick’s hand on her arm.

 

“Where are you taking him?” she called out.

 

“To prison, of course.  His trial will take place before the day is out,” Atherton replied serenely.

 

“Well, that’s Core planet efficiency for ya,” Mal said.

 

He was doing a good job of sounding as unaffected as Atherton, but Inara’s panic was now coming through loud and clear.

 

“Mal—” she began.

 

“Don’t worry about me,” he cut her off.  “I’ll be out of here before you can say ‘Sir Atherton Wing has a tiny sword.’  I’ll send you a wave from _Serenity_.”

 

He gave her a smile that she didn’t return, and allowed himself to be dragged away from the ship.  

 

They immediately entered the bustling marketplace of the Eavestown Docks, and Mal knew this was his chance at escape.  There were hundreds of distractions here, and weapons besides.  He was shoved and prodded past tents full of people peddling their wares; pots and pans, homemade medicines, spare parts for broken down ships, and so on.   

 

Eventually they entered the center of the market, which served as a sort of food court.  Mal was pushed towards a kebab stand with a vertical spit upon which stacked slices of lamb cooked. The man working the stand shaved off a few ounces of meat onto a plate and handed it to a hungry customer.  Mal looked more closely and saw that there was a gap at the top and bottom of the spit where the hot metal was bare.  This was his chance.

 

“Hey, fellas,” Mal said, coming to a short stop next to a kebab stand.  “If we’re gonna be takin’ a long walk together, you should know I have shin splints.”

 

As soon as the booth owner turned to help a customer, Mal backed up a few inches until he felt the heat from the kebab spit on his back.

 

“What a shame it would be if you were to suffer any discomfort,” Atherton said sarcastically.

 

Mal pulled his hands up as subtly as he could until he felt the hot metal of the spit on his wrist.  He suppressed the urge to yelp and tilted his wrists so that the spit was instead touching the plastic ties binding them.

 

“I mean it,” he continued, stalling for time.  “Makes me cry like a baby.  You’d know what that’s like, Ath-y.  It ain’t pretty.  We should probably rest here a spell.”

 

Atherton’s grin turned nasty, rage curling around the corners of his mouth.

 

“Guards, perhaps you should drag him behind you through the dirt.  Then he won’t need to support himself on his legs at all.”

 

The guards chuckled.  Mal felt the plastic melting.  He tested its strength and found that he still couldn’t tear it apart.

 

“That’s mighty hospitable of you,” he replied, pressing harder into the spit until his flesh met the metal again.

 

“You know, I might pay a visit to Inara while she’s in town,” Atherton continued.

 

Mal took the bait; anything to keep his captor occupied.

 

“I don’t think she’d much appreciate your visit.  Nor would your wife.”

 

Atherton’s smile only grew.

 

“My wife is good at sharing.  And I bet I could convince Inara that it’s in her best interests to make connections with influential people.  And, well, if reason doesn’t work, I always find that a little physical _persuasion_ can be very helpful,” he sneered.

 

“ _Gun ni ma de dan_!” Mal snapped, forgetting his purpose.

 

“As erudite as your wit is, Captain, I grow tired of this back and forth.”  He turned to the guards.  “Gag him,” he ordered.

 

The guard closest to him reached down and pulled off a black boot.  He tugged his sock free and slipped the boot back on before straightening up.  He chuckled maliciously and stepped right up to Mal until they were chest-to-chest.  Then he dangled the offending garment in front of Mal’s nose.

 

“Time to put a sock in it.  Whaddya say?”

 

Mal felt the plastic burning along with his skin.  It was now or never.

 

“That’s a good one.  In fact, I feel like I should give you a hand.”

 

With a roar, he pulled his arms in opposite directions and felt the plastic band tear.  He brought his right fist up under the guard’s jaw hard enough that they made a sickening crack.  The guard collapsed in the dirt, out cold.  Atherton’s eyes widened.

 

“Get him!” he shouted.

 

The other guard lunged for Mal, but he was already running.  He dove into a crowded tent and immediately fell on all fours, crawling under tables and between legs until he reached the other side.  He was up and racing through the market again, back in the direction of the shuttle.  He heard shouting behind him and forced his legs to move faster.  He spotted a tent full of clothing racks and dashed in that direction.  He exited the other side sporting a Stetson, relieved to see no sign of Atherton or the guard.

 

Taking a sharp right, he saw and narrowly missed a cart of produce when something caught his eye: A cardboard sign declaring “POMEGRANATES.”  He snatched one as he ran, ignoring the shouts of the proprietor and kept going. 

 

He was close now.  The lot was in view.  That was when he ran headlong into a body.

 

“Oomph!” the person groaned.

 

Mal found himself lying on top of the person, and shook himself.

 

“ Sorry, friend, I—”

 

He stopped speaking.  His eyes grew as wide as recognition dawned on him.  This was The Tall One!  Even out of his fake police uniform, Mal recognized the man’s face.  He was one of the men who helped blow up the crate of beetles and then hightailed it before _Serenity_ took off.  

 

Before he could think to do anything about this, he was being shoved aside and The Tall One was up and running.  That was when Mal saw his short friend h obbling along beside him.  He noted with great pleasure that The Short One was relying heavily on a cane, clearly nursing an injured leg.  It turned out that Zoe was a fantastic shot, even through the haze of a smoke bomb.

 

The Tall One was getting away, but The Short One couldn’t keep up.  Mal pulled back and hurled the pomegranate.  It hit in the dead center of the man’s cane and sent him tumbling to the ground.  Mal was on him in seconds, ignoring his desperate calls for help, and he reared back with a fist.  His knuckles sunk into the man’s nose and came back bloody.  He hit the man two more times in the face, and his eyes rolled back in his head.  

 

Mal knew now wasn’t the best time to be dragging a hostage with him, but he hauled the man up over his shoulder just the same.  His steps were clumsier and slower than before, but he was so close to the shuttle that it didn’t matter.

 

He distantly registered Atherton Wing’s angry bellows ringing out from behind him, but he pushed ahead and didn’t stop running until he was inside the shuttle doors.  Sealing them behind him, he dumped The Short One unceremoniously on the floor and started the engine.  Without waiting for word from the tower, he took off, leaving Atherton in his dust.

 

He glanced back at the body on the floor, and was satisfied to see that the man hadn’t moved.  He was well and truly out cold.  His eyes shifted to the skies around him, searching for any sign of pursuit, but he found none.  If he had to guess, he’d say that Atherton’s confidence had gotten the best of him again.  The man no doubt expected to ambush Mal and take him in without a fuss.

 

Mal aimed the shuttle in the right direction and shifted into high gear.  He ignored the throbbing from the ugly burns on his wrists and kept his focus on his ship.  At the first sign of _Serenity_ , he finally allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief.  Wash’s voice came over the comm.

 

“ _You ready to dock, Cap’n_?” he asked.

 

“Oh yeah,” Mal replied, his voicing coming out slightly breathless.

 

If Wash found anything strange about that, he didn’t say so.  A few seconds later, the shuttle was safely docked and Mal was once again heaving an unconscious man over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold.  He staggered from the shuttle and made his way to the catwalk overlooking the cargo bay.

 

“I know exactly what’s happening, and I’ll explain it all.  But first I need River’s help,” he saw the Doctor announce.

 

“Well, I’m sorry, Doctor, but that might have to wait,” he called back.

 

Everyone turned to see him standing over them.  Just as he was about to explain, Wash came rushing past him, hurrying down the metal steps without noticing that Mal was there.

 

“Hey, Mal’s back with the shuttle so everybody be—Whoa!” The blond’s eyes found Mal and he paused.  “Mal, what have we told you about bringing home strays?  We have no idea where they’ve been, what diseases they could be carrying, whether they’ve had their shots.”

 

“Oh, I know this one got at least one shot,” Mal replied.

 

He carried the man down the stairs and dropped him in front of Zoe.  Simon made a sound of protest, probably unhappy that Mal was handling a soon-to-be-patient so roughly, but quickly fell silent.

 

“It’s the man who bombed the crate.  I got him in the leg,” Zoe said, sounding pleased at the realization.

 

“How is this possible?” Simon breathed, still staring at the unconscious man.

 

“It does seem unlikely that you would bump into him again on a different planet just after the sale of the beetles was complete,” Book noted.

 

“No, I mean, _how_ is this _possible_?” Simon repeated, sounding even more bewildered than before.

 

“Simon?” Mal prompted.

 

Simon looked up then, fixing on Mal with wide, disbelieving eyes.

 

“I know this man,” he said with certainty.  “He is _not_ our enemy.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Gun ni ma de dan = Go fuck yourself
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: GASP! What does Simon meeeean? 
> 
>  
> 
> So this was a nice little diversion into Firefly land, with a focus mostly on Mal. I really appreciate readers who have never seen Firefly sticking with this! In the next chapter, we will be back to our regularly scheduled “Doctor being brilliant and figuring everything out.”


	16. Chapter Sixteen

 

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

 

_Simon looked up then, fixing on Mal with wide, disbelieving eyes._

 

_“I know this man,” he said with certainty.  “He is_ not _our enemy.”_

 

Everyone stared at Simon for a moment.  The young doctor continued to examine the face of the unconscious man, as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes.

 

“I find that pro-Alliance morons who blow up my cargo normally ain’t my friends,” Mal said sagely.

 

“And normally, I would agree with you,” Simon began.  “But I’ve met this man before, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that he is no pro-Alliance moron.”

 

Mal paused, considering Simon’s words, before straightening up and addressing his pilot.

 

“First things first.  Wash, you’re gonna wanna get us outta this planet’s orbit as soon as you can.”

 

“And why’s that Cap’n?” Wash asked.

 

“It may be that I had to escape a couple police officers tryin’ to process me for that cattle deal a few months back.”

 

“Might it be?” Zoe asked, a sweet smile pasted on her face.

 

Mal studiously ignored her.

 

“And Wash, while you’re up there, please send a friendly wave to Inara by way of Warrick Harrow to let her know that all is well.”  He let Wash go, but called out to him again before he made it up the stairs.  “Oh, and warn her that Atherton Wing said he’d be payin’ her a visit.  Tell Warrick to make sure that don’t happen.”

 

Kaylee’s face screwed up in confusion.

 

“Atherton Wing?  The fella who almost killed you in that duel?”

 

Mal gaped for a moment, then recovered enough to sputter a response.

 

“He didn’t almost—I’ll remind you that it was _me_ who—Yeah, that’s the one.”

 

Once Wash was certain that the captain was finished, he nodded.

 

“Aye, aye, Cap’n,” he said with a small salute.  Then he took the remaining stairs two at a time and disappeared from view.

 

Mal turned back to the group.

 

“Now, second, Simon, you wanna explain to me exactly how you know this _wang ba dan_?”

 

Simon nodded and turned to the Doctor.

 

“Doctor, when you arrived on _Serenity_ , Rose showed me a business card.  Do you still have it?  In your pocket,” he said, pointing to the Doctor’s suit jacket.

 

The Doctor immediately retrieved the psychic paper and held it up, concentrating simply on the phrase, ‘whatever Rose showed them earlier.’  Simon glanced at it and nodded.

 

“I told you, Mal, that I received a similar card when I was looking for a way to find my sister.  That it displayed the name of an organization that works covertly against the Alliance.  An organization that makes the impossible happen.”

 

“This is all sounding very cryptic and fantastical, but if you could cut the crap, I’d appreciate it,” Mal said pointedly.

 

Simon nodded again and gestured at the man lying on the ground between them.

 

“Right, well, when I found the organization, this man was my contact.  He told me to call him Hugo.”  He paused and glanced warmly over at his sister before adding, “He’s the reason I was able to get River back.”

“So it _was_ you,” Zoe said.  

 

Off Simon’s confused look, she continued, “The taller guy said that they knew we had ‘a certain doctor’ on board.  He meant you.”

 

“Why didn’t you recognize him before?” Kaylee asked.

 

“By the time I got to the cargo bay with Jayne, he’d already set off the smoke bomb.  I couldn’t see either of them.  If I had, I think things might have gone a little differently.”

 

“I’m not convinced they would’ve,” Mal countered.  “As far as I can tell, this man has done us nothin’ but harm.  So what if he hates the Alliance?”

 

“A wise man once said, ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend,’” Book said.

 

Mal looked unimpressed.

 

“And did that same wise man then see the enemy of his enemy burn his cargo?” he retorted.  “‘Cause I can’t for the life of me understand why he and his pal would dress up like police, come on _my_ ship, tell me that _I’m_ not fit to carry Alliance goods, and then bomb me outta a crate’s worth of _my_ money.”

 

“No, it makes perfect sense!  Don’t you see?”

 

The Doctor was practically bursting with excitement, triumph written in his wide grin.  He took in the blank stares of the crew.

 

“He does this when he gets in Sherlock mode.”

 

The Doctor swung around to find the owner of that familiar voice clinging to the doorframe at the back of the cargo bay.

 

“Rose?” he asked unnecessarily.

 

She pulled herself into the room, leaning heavily against the wall.  The Doctor was at her side in a flash, throwing one arm around her waist and using the other to draw hers across his shoulders for support.

 

“You should be downstairs in the infirmary,” he told her.

 

She shook her head.

 

“This is the part where you explain the whole thing.  I’m not about to miss this; it’s my favorite part.”

 

He couldn’t help but return her smile, and it was with only a small degree of hesitation that he helped her further into the room and sat her down on the stairs.  He straightened back up and faced the crew once more.

 

“Like I was saying, River’s been right this whole time.  The bugs are bugs!”

 

River nodded in agreement, but the rest of the crew remained unmoved.  They stared at him as if he was an alien, which, of course, he was.  Finally, Mal attempted a response.

 

“Is this one of those philosophical things?  Like, if a tree falls in the forest—”

 

The Doctor got him off with an exasperated groan.

 

“You humans and your tiny brains!  You’d think that with this degree of encephalization your neurons would be working slightly harder, but—”

 

“Hey!” Jayne and Mal cried out simultaneously.

 

“Oh, he’s always insufferable when he gets like this,” Rose said, brushing off their outrage with a wave of her hand.  

 

The Doctor made to defend himself, but Rose cut him off.

 

“He thinks he’s _so_ impressive when he puts it all together.  And truthfully, he is.  I’d never tell him that though.  He doesn’t need the ego boost.” She tilted her head to the side and frowned.  “Oh, I guess I just did.  Whatever Harriet did to me is really effective.”

 

“Harriet the beetle?” Mal asked.

 

“She bit Rose!” Kaylee said helpfully.

 

Before Mal could show his frustration, the Doctor broke in.

 

“Let’s start at the beginning.”

 

“Sounds good,” Zoe encouraged.

 

The Doctor reached into his pocket and pulled out something small and silver.

 

“I have a sonic screwdriver.”  He held it out for them all to see.  “It can do a great many impressive things, including telling me the chemical makeup of an object.”

 

Once he was certain that he had everyone’s attention, he continued.

 

“I scanned the crates the day after Simon’s friend Hugo burned one of them, and I noted to Rose that the silicon content seemed a bit high.”

 

“You said it was probably just the plastic from the crates,” Rose said.

 

“Yes, but I also scanned Harriet then, remember?” the Doctor asked.

 

Rose nodded.

 

“And she had the same readings as the dead beetles,” he added.

 

“So the silicon is part of the bugs,” Mal deduced.

 

The Doctor nodded approvingly.

 

“Yes, and then later that evening, Inara ran into me when I was scanning them again.”

 

He paused dramatically, causing Simon to inquire, “And?” 

 

“ _And_ the silicon content was just a dash higher.”

 

“A dash?” Rose teased.

 

“A smidge,” the Doctor replied, giving her a smile.

 

“And that’s a scientific measurement, is it?”

 

“Very,” the Doctor assured her.  “Well, I scanned Harriet again, just now, and her silicon content has sky-rocketed.”

 

“So, what?  They’re plastic bugs?  Fakes?” Mal asked.

 

The Doctor shook his head vigorously.

 

“Oh, no, not at all.  Harriet is as real as you or me.  The difference is that she was created in a lab.  A lab that no doubt employed some gene-splicing techniques.”

 

“In English, please, Doctor,” Zoe broke in.

 

“They altered her DNA.  Well, the DNA of all the beetles,” Simon supplied, earning himself a grin from the Doctor. 

 

“Quite right, well done!  Harriet is literally developing silicon-based parts as she grows.  Just as her creators intended.”

 

“Her creators being the Alliance,” Simon replied.

 

From the corner of the room, River spoke for the first time.

 

“Little spies,” she said.

 

“Exactly!” the Doctor excitedly replied.  “The Alliance bred these beetles with deliberate genetic miscoding.  Their parts are half-electronic.  They are literally bugs, as in covert listening devices.”

 

“Wait, so you’re sayin’ that Harriet’s a spy?” Kaylee asked.

 

“Didn’t you find it odd that she’s attracted to people, that she follows you and Rose around like an actual pet?” the Doctor asked her.

 

“Unusual behavior for any bug, but especially so for an assassin beetle,” Book noted.

 

The Doctor waved his hands above his head.

 

“Give the man a prize!” he announced.  “Assassin beetles have pinching mouthparts.  They bite when they’re afraid.  Any insect with that kind of natural defense is one that avoids large predators.  It’s in their genetic code to hide from humans.”

 

“But not Harriet,” Rose said.

 

“Because that would make it hard for her to collect data,” the Doctor continued.

 

“And her instinct isn’t to bite to ward off danger…” Book murmured.

 

The Doctor picked up where he left off.

 

“It’s to inject the victim with a chemical compound that renders them ripe for interrogation.  Truthful and compliant.”

 

“That’s me!” Rose said happily.

 

“Why Rose?” Kaylee asked.  “I mean, why her outta all of us?”

 

“I think because Harriet instinctively identified her as the weakest member of this group,” the Doctor answered.

 

“Hey!” Rose called out, less happily.

 

“Your hand, Rose,” the Doctor said, gently lifting the injured appendage.  “You were hurt.  She crawled into bed with us last night.  I found her in the morning.  She must have bitten you some time while we were sleeping.”

 

“And on the matter of your hand,” the Doctor continued, straightening up.  “I think I can explain that as well.”

 

“Yeah, me too.  River’s crazy,” Jayne snorted.

 

The Doctor scowled at him.

 

“Rose, do you remember what you were doing when River threw the knife at your hand?” the Doctor asked, all-the-while continuing to glare at Jayne.

 

Rose frowned in concentration.

 

“I was talking to Kaylee, I think,” she replied.

 

“Just before that,” the Doctor said.

 

Again, Rose frowned, but it was Kaylee who answered him.

 

“She was introducin’ you to Harriet,” the mechanic recalled.

 

“Yes, precisely!” the Doctor replied.  “You were holding her out to show her to me.  In your left hand.”

 

“River wasn’t trying to hurt me,” Rose murmured.

 

“She was trying to kill Harriet!” Kaylee gasped.

 

Jayne squinted at the squirming beetle in Kaylee’s grasp.

 

“Well, that’s one thing I actually agree with Moonbrain on,” he said. 

 

Before anyone could question him, the mercenary plucked the beetle from Kaylee’s hand and dropped it on the grated metal floor.  Rose and Kaylee cried out at the same time.

 

“NO!”

 

But it was too late.  Jayne lifted a heavy boot and brought it crashing down on the tiny bug.  River gave him an approving nod as he lifted his shoe to reveal the corpse of Harriet Jones: Beetle.  The rest of the crew stared at the tiny remains, aghast.

 

“Just looks like bug guts,” he said with some surprise.

 

The Doctor managed to close his gaping mouth just enough to bark an angry reply.

 

“What did you expect?  Stomp on her and a computer chip falls out?”

 

Jayne gave a vague grunt that seemed to imply that had been _exactly_ what he expected.  The Doctor pulled at his hair in a familiar display of frustration.

 

“If the Alliance did that, the first time someone swatted a beetle, the game would be up. No, they had to be much cleverer than that.  Everything was bred into them.”

 

“How do you breed a recording device into a living thing?”

 

“Did you know that on Earth-That-Was, there was a creature called the sea mouse?  It actually wasn’t a mouse so much as it was an aquatic worm,” the Doctor began.

 

“So, why call it a mouse?” Kaylee interrupted.

 

The Doctor shrugged.

 

“Absolutely no idea.  Its Latin name is _Aphrodita aculeata_ , after Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love.  Not because the sea mouse has any aphrodisiac qualities, but rather because the scientist who discovered it thought its belly looked like a certain human female organ and, well, let’s just say he must not have seen a whole lot of human female organs.”

 

“And you have?” Rose asked.

 

The Doctor’s cheeks reddened instantly and he plowed ahead.

“The point, which we are rapidly steering away from, is that the sea mouse had this fur atop its back that acted exactly like fiber-optic cables.  Tiny threads that reflected light in ways that it took humans centuries to replicate for their phones and internet.”

 

“I don’t get it,” Jayne blurted out.

 

The Doctor tried very hard to suppress and eye roll.  He failed.

 

“What I’m trying to get at is that any number of real biological parts can be combined in a lab to produce something that acts more like a machine than an animal.  Harriet and her compatriots have computer-like components built into their exoskeletons; exoskeletons that grow as they develop from egg to nymph to adult.  The device gradually comes together as the beetles go through their normal growth cycle.”

 

“And that’s why the silicon level went up as Harriet grew,” Rose worked out.

 

“It’s brilliant,” Simon said.

 

“And this guy knew about it?” Mal said, gesturing at the man on the ground.

 

“I’m guessing that he knows a lot of Alliance secrets,” the Doctor replied.

 

Jayne frowned.

 

“Suzette said…”

 

His voice trailed off.

 

“What is it, Jayne?” Rose asked.

 

“There was an old woman on Paquin,” he told the group.  “She said that the Alliance caught wind of a petition.  They thought riots might be comin’.”

 

“So the Alliance is targeting Rim worlds that seem likely to organize against them,” Zoe said.

 

Simon nodded.

 

“They claim they’re helping with the Alliance Agricultural Outreach Program.  What better way to listen in on your enemy then by sending your spies hidden inside a gift?”

 

“Like the Trojan Horse,” Book said.

 

“Or the Great Seal,” the Doctor added.

 

Mal turned sharply.

 

“What was that, Doctor?”

 

“What was what?”

 

“The Great Seal,” Mal repeated.  “That’s what this guy’s partner said just before the explosion.  I thought he was talkin’ about the Alliance seal.”

 

The Doctor shook his head.

 

“Oh, no.  The Great Seal was the very first covert listening device.  Invented by the Russians just before the Cold War.  They hid it inside a carved wooden plaque of the Great Seal of the United States and presented it to an American ambassador during his visit in 1945.  It was given to him by a group of schoolchildren as a ‘gesture of friendship.’”

 

“How sweet,” Mal interjected.

 

The Doctor smiled.

 

“It hung in the ambassador’s office for seven years before it was discovered, quite accidentally, by a British radio operator.”

 

“Little spies, hidden in plain sight,” River murmured.

 

“River knew all along,” Simon said.

 

The Doctor nodded.

 

“And so did Hugo.”

 

“He knew that we were accidentally helping the Alliance spy on people,” Kaylee said.

 

“That’s what he meant when he said you weren’t fit to carry the bugs.  It was actually a compliment,” Book added.

 

“Again I say, ‘How sweet,’” Mal replied.

 

Jayne eyed the still-unconscious body with suspicion.

 

“I still say it’s funny, you runnin’ into this guy—”

 

“Literally,” Mal interrupted.

 

“—in the middle of a market in Persephone.”

 

“Sometimes coincidence is just that,” the Doctor said brusquely.  “But I’m guessing that Hugo and his friend found a more efficient way to deal with their bug problem on Persephone.”

 

“More efficient than tryin’ to find every single cargo ship with Agricultural Outreach bugs on it and blowin’ ‘em up one-by-one?  You don’t say,” Zoe drawled.

 

“What’s on Persephone?” Simon wondered aloud.

 

“I guess we’ll find out as soon as Hugo wakes up,” Mal said, giving the unconscious man’s leg a light kick.

 

“We might not need to wait that long,” the Doctor said.  “River might know more than even she realizes.”

 

“How do you mean?” Rose asked.

 

The Doctor turned to look at the teenager as he replied.

 

“She accidentally intercepted a lot of government secrets in the Academy.  How do you think she knew the bugs were spies the whole time?”

 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Doc, but River ain’t exactly the most coherent person for questionin’,” Jayne piped up.

 

Simon cleared his throat.

 

“Actually the Doctor has different method of communicating with—”

 

“I’m sorry, but can we all just take a moment to marvel at the fact that Jayne knows how to correctly use the word ‘coherent’?”

 

Wash’s voice rang out across the cargo bay as he clambered down the stairs.  He ignored the mercenary’s deadly glare and planted himself in the middle of the crew before speaking again.

 

“We just cleared atmo and there’s no pursuit in sight.  So, did I miss much?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> wang ba dan = bastard
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: Oh, Wash. I just love him, don’t you?


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN** ****

 

“Well, you know what they say:  If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it’s probably a nefarious government-created cyber-duck,” Wash joked.

 

The entire story had just been repeated for his benefit.  He was slightly pale and smiled weakly at the rest of the crew, who were crowded into the ship’s tiny infirmary.

 

“I’m feeling a little lightheaded right now, but that might just be the blood loss,” he added.

 

“Have I mentioned how much I appreciate it?” Rose asked.

 

She was reclined in the exam chair with Wash sitting beside her on a stool.  The two were connected by a couple of needles and some plastic tubing filled with red.  

 

“Just one of the perks of being O neg.  Universal donor,” Wash said, smiling at her.

 

“It shouldn’t take very much to flush the chemicals from Rose’s system,” the Doctor informed them.

 

“How will we know when they’re all gone?” Kaylee asked.

 

“Well, we can check now,” the Doctor said brightly.  He turned to his companion.  “Rose, what’s the most embarrassing thing that Jackie’s ever done to you?”

 

Rose’s eyes widened and her cheeks turned scarlet, but her mouth was open and moving before she could stop herself.

 

“When I got my first period, she invited all the neighbors over to celebrate my ‘becoming a woman,’” she blurted out.

 

There was an awkward pause during which the inhabitants of the infirmary glanced at each other with wide eyes.  Wash was the first to break down in snickers.  The rest soon followed.  Rose’s eyes narrowed at the Doctor.

 

“I’m gonna hurt you.  A lot,” she seethed.

 

“You won’t,” he replied, unconcerned.

 

“I couldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, now could I?” she replied sweetly.

 

He paused to consider her words.  Then he gulped.

 

“Yes, well, it was all done in the name of helping you get better, right?  And now we know that you need more of Wash’s blood.  Everybody wins!” he babbled.

 

Rose had a reply on the tip of her tongue, but she was interrupted by a sound of a moan.  Her eyes locked on the body of the short man.  Mal and Jayne had carried him down to the sofa across from the med bay so that they would know the instant he awoke.  That instant was now.

 

“Where am I?” the man groaned. 

 

“Should look pretty familiar to you.  You set off a bomb on this ship just a few short days ago,” Mal replied, striding towards him from the infirmary.

 

The man struggled to sit up, clutching his bruised head as he did so.

 

“Where’s Manuel?”

 

“If you mean your tall friend, he’s probably still on Persephone.  He left you when you fell.  Just kept right on runnin’,” Mal replied.

 

The man blinked a few times before his eyes finally focused on Mal.

 

“Good,” he said simply.

 

Mal frowned, but held up a hand as a silent signal for the rest of his crew to remain silent.

 

“Hugo—that is your name, right?  A certain doctor told me it was,” the captain said.

 

Hugo’s eyes landed on Simon, and he gave the young man a curt nod in greeting, which  Simon returned. “Alpha and Beta just make convenient codenames on the job.   My friends know me as Victor Hugo,” he supplied.  

 

The Doctor let out a small chuckle, and Mal turned quickly.

 

“Somethin’ funny, Doctor?” he asked.

 

The Doctor smiled.

 

“I just appreciate a clever pseudonym, that’s all,” he replied.

 

Jayne scowled.

 

“That s’posed to mean somethin’?” he asked.

 

“It’s a fake name.  A very appropriate one, considering Hugo’s business,” the Doctor added.

 

Before Jayne could get even more bent out of shape, Book took over.

 

“Victor Hugo was an Old-Earth author.  He wrote a famous musical about the French Revolution,” the preacher explained.

 

“Actually, he wrote a _novel_ that was later _adapted_ into a musical,” the Doctor corrected. Then he frowned.  “Oh, was that rude?  Nothing to feel foolish about, Shepherd.  Bits and bobs from popular culture are bound to be misattributed over the ages.”

 

Before Book could assure him that there was no offense taken, Rose piped up. 

 

“Hang on, you mean _Les Mis_ !  I love that show.  Went with my French class in year eleven.  Although, I spent most of the second half snogging Marcus Willby in the back row,” she babbled happily.

 

“The original Victor Hugo also had a great deal to say about human rights and revolution,” the Doctor continued quickly, as if he was deaf to Rose’s words.

 

Hugo’s eyes twinkled mischievously before he replied, “‘When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.’”

 

Mal paused, considering the man before him.

 

“Can’t say I disagree with that,” he admitted.

 

“No, I wouldn’t think so, Captain,” Hugo replied.  “I really am sorry about before, but we were in quite a time crunch and being chased by some very bad men.  I should have explained but—”

 

“But it was quicker to throw an explosive instead,” Zoe interjected.

 

Hugo noticed her for the first time.

 

“You’re the woman who shot me!” he said, not sounding too terrible put out about it.

 

“You’re the man who deserved it,” she replied.

 

He chuckled, causing Zoe to frown.

 

“Yes, I suppose I did,” he conceded.  Then he suddenly grew tense.  “Hang on, the ball!” he cried.

 

“Atherton Wing’s ball?” Mal asked.

 

“Yes.  Oh, Manuel can’t do it alone.  This is a disaster.  The insects are nearly at the end of their metamorphosis.  Their orders could be delivered at any moment,” he said all at once, seemingly to himself.  Then he turned abruptly to Mal.  “I need to send him a wave immediately.”

 

“Just hold on a minute,” Mal said reasonably.  “We know about the beetles.  How can we help?”

 

Hugo gave Mal an appraising look before nodding.

 

“All right.  I’ll explain, but then I need to send a wave to Manuel Prada,” he said firmly.

 

“Manuel Prada, Peruvian freedom fighter from Earth-That-Was,” the Doctor said with a smile.  “Once said, ‘Rights and freedom are never granted; they must be taken.’”

 

Hugo nodded and picked up where the Doctor left off.  As he spoke, his voice grew in power and conviction, as if he was an actor delivering a pivotal monologue.

 

“‘Those who command give only what they must, and nations which sleep trusting their rulers to arouse them with the gift of liberty are like fools who build a city in the midst of a desert hoping that a river will suddenly flow through its barren streets.’”

 

There was a moment of silent contemplation during which everyone considered the words.  Then, Wash spoke.

 

“Hmm.  Good quote,” he said.

 

“Before we get caught up in a good ol’ fashioned quote-off, can we get down to business?” Mal interrupted.

 

“Good idea,” Hugo said.  “You already know what the beetles are for, then?”  Off Mal’s nod, he continued.  “Once they develop the rest of their synthetic parts and become adults, they will be given orders to start recording data and transmitting it back to hundreds of Alliance intelligence officers.”

 

“And then to bite the weaker people so they can be brought in for more _direct_ information gatherin’,” Mal added.

 

Hugo nodded. 

 

“So you do know.  But I’m guessing that you don’t know how to stop them.”  He sat up a little straighter and stretched out his wounded leg.  “Manuel and I are part of an organization that solves problems like these.  At first we thought we might be able to target the lab where the beetles were bred and destroy the few boxes that made it onto ships already, but obviously we failed.  These beetles have already been delivered and set free on a dozen border worlds.”

 

“So, what now?” Simon asked.

 

“Now we go after their maker.”

 

Mal nodded.

 

“And, let me guess, he’s on Persephone.”

 

“Yes, _she_ is,” Hugo replied pointedly.  “Although we don’t know what she looks like or even her name.  All we _do_ know is that she’ll be guarded and that she has a nickname:  The Engineer.”

 

“Ooh, that sounds suitably sinister,” the Doctor said.

 

“It’s no Oncoming Storm,” Rose assured him, earning her a smile.

 

“She was supposed to be in Londinium this week for the rollout of the bugs, but she was held up on Persephone for, of all things, a ball,” Hugo explained.

 

“She created Alliance bugs _and_ she’s pals with Atherton Wing.  I already hate her,” Mal said.

 

“If we can find her,” Hugo continued smoothly.  “All we need from her is an access code.  She’s the only person who knows it.  It provides entry into the electronic controls for the bugs.”

 

“And you can hack into the Alliance system to input that code?” the Doctor asked.

 

“I can’t, but our little group has a member who is particularly adept with computers. We know him as Abbie, but you might know him as Mr. Universe.”

 

Wash smiled and nodded.  Zoe rolled her eyes.

 

“So, we find The Engineer, get the access code, you send it to Mr. Universe, and he does _what_ with it?” Mal spoke up.

 

Hugo wiggled his fingers in the air. 

 

“He programs all of the Alliance’s creepy little friends to self-destruct.”

 

“Oh!” Kaylee gasped.

 

“But it’s not their fault that they’re spies!” Rose protested.

 

Hugo shook his head, a solemn smile on his lips.

 

“‘ _Voulez-vous donc qu’on vous fasse des r_ _é_ _volutions_ _à_ _l’eau-rose_ ?’” he said.

 

“We don’t speak Latin,” Jayne snapped.

The Doctor maintained eye contact with Hugo as he replied grimly.

 

“It was French.  ‘Do you think that revolutions are made with rose water?’”

 

“Casualties are regrettable but necessary, and we try to avoid them whenever possible, which is certainly more than can be said for the Alliance,” Hugo explained.  “What do you think happened to Moop?”

 

Zoe pursed her lips and shot a significant look at Mal.

 

“The Alliance couldn’t afford the chance that any of the middle-men would talk,” the captain realized aloud.

 

Hugo nodded.

 

“Exactly.”

 

All of the talking seemed to tire him, and he settled back into the sofa cushions a bit.  His eyes drifted casually across the room until they landed on River.

 

“Simon, is this her?  She’s a bit older than the last time I saw her, and that was only on video feeds.”

 

Simon nodded and went to his sister’s side.  He guided her forward until they were standing in front of the sofa.

 

“River, say hello to Hugo.  He’s the man who helped me rescue you.”

 

River examined Hugo for a moment.  When she spoke, it was almost as if she was talking  _through_ him rather than to him. “The sky was gray with a big black tunnel weaving through it, spinning closer and closer.  She would be swallowed in its gnashing teeth.  Then the lightening struck and a door opened.  White light, and up the brick steps she went.”  

 

She blinked.  Refocused on Hugo, and added, “Hello.”

 

Hugo smiled broadly.

 

“Hello, River.  It’s very nice to finally meet you in person,” he said.  He turned back to the group.  “Now, Captain, you said that you wanted to help?  How do you propose you do that?”

 

Mal considered the question, but it was the Doctor who responded.

 

“River might actually be able to assist us,” he said.

 

Simon shook his head. 

 

“No.  She’s not going to set foot on Persephone.  It’s too dangerous,” he said vehemently.

 

“She doesn’t have to.  As long as I can see what she knows,” the Doctor explained.

 

Simon placed a protective hand on his sister’s shoulder and shook his head again.

 

“Doctor, we tried this before.”

 

The Doctor took a step towards them, looking at River.

 

“I know, and I did it all wrong.  River, I’m so sorry.”

 

River avoided his gaze, apparently finding the edge of the coffee table infinitely more interesting.

 

“Um.  What’s goin’ on?” Mal asked.

 

“The Doctor and River can manage a telepathic connection.  He can enter her mind,” Simon explained, still maintaining his grip on his sister.

 

“How did he mess it up before?” Mal pressed, frowning.

 

The Doctor moved forward, sitting on the coffee table to face River, who was still refusing to make eye contact.

 

“I didn’t ask for permission,” he admitted.  “I didn’t explain my motive well enough.”

 

Jayne snorted.

 

“Sounds like someone can dish it out but can’t take it,” he accused. 

Kaylee elbowed him sharply  

“What?” he blurted out.  “How many times’s River gone fishin’ around in one of our heads without askin’?”

 

“Hush,” Kaylee said, and to everyone’s surprise, Jayne did.

 

“River, I never should have entered your mind without asking,” the Doctor said.  “Please believe me when I tell you that I only wanted to help.  But it was still wrong and I’m sorry.”

 

River frowned at the leg of the coffee table.  Then, slowly, she turned to the Doctor.

 

“Me too,” she said in a small voice.

 

“What’s River got to be sorry for?” Kaylee asked.

 

The Doctor seemed flustered by the question, but neither of them made any attempt to answer it.  Instead, he addressed the teenager in front of him again.

 

“I want to try again, River, but I promise that this time I won’t try to take anything away from you.  Your memories will stay yours.  I just want to look around.  You know something about these beetles, don’t you?”

 

“They cling to fleshy branches and suck out their insides until it’s too late,” she said matter-of-factly.

 

“Do you know anything about The Engineer?  Or about the guards protecting her?” the Doctor pushed.

 

River’s head snapped up, as if the guards in question were standing on the ceiling.  Then she began to chant.  As she spoke, she curled her entire body inwards, hands on her knees.

 

“Two by two… hands of blue… two by two… hands of blue… two by—”

 

The Doctor stopped her with the gentle press of his hand over hers.  She looked cautiously up at him and he spoke.

 

“Show me.”

 

It wasn’t a command.  It was a request, soft-spoken and careful.  After a moment’s hesitation, River nodded.  Then, very cautiously, the Doctor reached out and placed his fingertips at her temples.  Her eyes slid shut, but the Doctor paused.

 

“River,” he said, causing her to reopen her eyes.  He continued in a voice just above a whisper.  “I want to do this, but first I need to…”  He stopped, struggling to find the right words.  After a deep breath, he began again.  “River, if at any time you want me to leave, just ask.  Please… The last thing that you showed me, I can’t see it again,” he pleaded.

 

His eyes were full of pain.

 

“Promise me,” he said.

 

River stared back at him with absolute concentration. 

 

“I won’t show you again,” she said.

 

Nobody asked what the two were talking about.  There was a grave feeling in the air, and it seemed important not to disturb it. 

 

“Thank you,” the Doctor said earnestly.  “Now, if there’s anything you don’t want me to see, I think you already know what to do.”

 

River nodded.

 

“Imagine a door and close it.”

 

“Good girl.  Very clever,” the Doctor replied.

 

And then he was back.  Once more the Doctor stood at the heart of an undulating network of corridors.  Echoes of memories pounded up and down against the walls, and for a moment, he felt overwhelmed.  Then, a tiny hand slipped into his.

 

“I’ll show you,” Young River reassured him.

 

He smiled down at her and allowed the pale young girl to lead him down one corridor and the next.  They walked for what seemed like ages until, finally, they came to an open door.  There was an odd light coming from inside.  It cast a blue shadow at their feet.  Young River clutched more tightly at his hand, and the Doctor gave hers a reassuring squeeze.

 

“You can stay out here if you’d like,” he told her.

 

She swallowed hard, considering his offer.  In the end, she shook her head and held on tighter to him.

 

“Then in we go,” he said.

 

And t hey did.

_The strange blue light filled the room.  Everything felt cold and sterile.  It was a laboratory.  The light bounced off of thousands of tiny glass boxes.  The Doctor walked up to one table and bent down to examine them.  Each box contained a tiny cluster of eggs.  Some rocked lightly with the movement of the minute bodies within, while others remained still.  Thousands of boxes each containing dozens of eggs; a tiny army of spies born with their orders bred into their DNA.  The Doctor was so caught up with his inspection that he failed to notice when someone entered the room._

_“How are they progressing?” a stout man with a thick mustache asked._

 

_A tall woman in a white coat entered behind him.  She stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the strange blue glow for a moment before crossing the threshold._

_“According to plan,” she replied._

_As she came into view, the Doctor noted that she was, objectively, a very beautiful woman.  She was slender and had a graceful sort of movement adverse to the sharp staccato tone of her speech.  She brushed aside a tight ponytail of dark brown hair to lean over one of the lab tables._

_“As you can see, they’re still eggs, but even in this state, they respond to our directives.”_

_The man stepped forward, staring at the glass boxes as well._

_“Really?  How extraordinary.  May I have a demonstration?” he asked._

_The woman walked over to a computer monitor and keyed in a hexadecimal code.  The Doctor scampered around the monitor to try to catch a glimpse of her keystrokes, but the keyboard was curiously devoid of any keys that he could see.  It must be a security measure, he mused.  Some sort of keypad that was only visible to the computer’s operator._

_A second later, the glass boxes began to vibrate.  The clinking sound of glass on metal filled the air, like a hundred wind chimes caught in a storm._

_“What are you telling them to do?” the man asked excitedly, his voice raised over the din._

_“I’ve ordered them to dance,” she said, a crooked smile gracing her lips._

_After a moment, she keyed in a new command, and the shaking stopped.  The man laughed aloud and pulled out a communication device._

_“This is marvelous.  I’ll just…” He paused to type out something.  “There.  I’ve sent the Senator word of your progress.”_

_“Excellent.  Then I think that our business here is done.”_

_“Yes, quite,” the man replied, running a pudgy finger over his mustache to smooth it down._

_He moved to the exit, but found his path blocked by the woman in the white coat._

_“Excuse me, Engineer,” he said politely._

_“Oh, I don’t think so, Mr. Dabershire,” the woman said coldly.  Despite her tone, she maintained her crooked smile._

_Dabershire frowned._

_“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” he said._

_“Oh no, sir.  I’m afraid the problem is that you understand quite a bit too much.”At The Engineer’s words, two men in black suits entered the room.  Mr. Dabershire eyed them uneasily._

_“What are you doing?  Engineer, I really must insist that you let me leave the premises at once.”_

_“I’m sorry, Mr. Dabershire, but_ I _really must insist that you don’t leave at all,” she replied cruelly._

_Now well and truly frightened, the mustachioed man did his best to draw himself up in outrage._

_“When the Senator hears of this—”_

_“The Senator is the one who signed off on this,” The Engineer said pleasantly.  “You see, my dear man, you simply know too much.  It’s nothing personal, you understand.  Just a matter of too many cooks.”_

_Dabershire looked ready to reply when the men in black suits came forward.  The Doctor recognized these men.  He saw them briefly the last time he was in River’s mind.  They wore blue gloves and menacing expressions._

_One of the men removed a small black device from his breast pocket.  He clicked a button and two blue arms sprung out from its sides.  A high-pitched frequency burst from the device, and Mr. Dabershire immediately fell to his knees, hands on his ears.  He looked up at The Engineer in horror, a small trickle of blood starting from his left nostril.  The Engineer failed to notice, however.  She sighed and picked idly at her cuticles._

_Blood now came flowing out from the man’s eyes and ears, then, he collapsed in a heap, motionless._

_“I’ll call someone to clean this up,” The Engineer said, carefully stepping over the corpse of Mr. Dabershire.  “Come on.”_

_She strode out of the room, the men with blue gloves at her back._

 

The Doctor looked down at River.  Her eyes seemed glued to the body on the floor.  With a  gentle tug, the Doctor led her back out of the room and only then did he slowly begin to pull away from River’s mind.

 

When he was back in the present, he delicately removed his hands from the teenager’s temples.  Her eyes were still closed.  The crew stood around them in suspense, awaiting the Doctor’s report, but he did not speak until he saw River open her eyes.  She blinked a few times before focusing her watery gaze on his face.

 

“You don’t have to carry that alone anymore.  I’ll explain it to them.  You can let it go,” he whispered to her.

 

She frowned.

 

“The winds of the storm aren’t as strong.  Increased surface area to divide the force.  No more tunnel looking for a way to escape, rattling around and howling at the moon,” she said, choosing her words with some difficulty.

 

She frowned deeper, apparently unsatisfied with her phrasing.

 

“It’s better with two, isn’t it?” the Doctor asked simply.

 

She gazed at him, trying the phrase out for herself.  “Better with two.”  Then she nodded slowly.

 

“Later, will you let me help you?  With the scary door.  With Miranda?” the Doctor asked hesitantly. 

 

River paused, staring at him with an inscrutable expression on her face.  Then, she smiled.

 

“Later,” she said, nodding resolutely.

 

The Doctor mirrored her expression, and finally turned to the group.

 

“I’ll be able to recognize The Engineer if I see her.  And you’ll need me to go,” he said, standing from the table and reaching into his pocket.  “Her guards have a sonic weapon.”

 

He held his screwdriver out and spun it in his fingers.

 

“Maybe it’s time they got a taste of their own medicine.”

 

~0~0~0~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dueling sonics! Incidentally, that would be an excellent name for a band. Somebody do this, please! But if you can't start a band, then can you maybe just leave me a review? :)


	18. Chapter Eighteen

After the Doctor ran a quick, rather unscientific test to make sure that two units of blood was enough for Rose ("Rose, who changed me into Howard's pajamas last Christmas?" "Shove off." "Yup. She's all better.") the pair, along with the crew of _Serenity_ and a limping Hugo, crammed themselves into the cockpit. There was some careful maneuvering required before everyone had a view of the video screen, but they succeeded just as Inara's face appeared. ****

"I didn't expect to see all of you so soon," the Companion said, her red lips curling into a genuine smile.

"Hi, Inara!" Kaylee called out from behind Mal.

Inara smiled wider, her white teeth gleaming even on the dull monitor.

"Wash left word that you'd escaped," she said to Mal.

He smirked.

"Was there ever any doubt?"

Rather than roll her eyes, all traces of mirth suddenly left Inara's face. She seemed hesitant to speak.

"Atherton stopped by," she said.

" _Tāmāde hùndàn_!" Mal cursed.

"He didn't try anything," Inara said quickly. "He just wanted to give me an invitation in person. You know, his ball is invitation only, of course."

Now she _did_ roll her eyes, and she brought a linen card covered in beautiful calligraphy into frame.

"Don't go," Mal said immediately.

Inara's eyebrows drew together.

"I wasn't planning on it," she scoffed.

Mal nodded in approval before adding, "I heard there might be party crashers. You don't want to get caught up in that."

Inara caught his meaning instantly.

"Oh, Mal, no. You should all be halfway to Pelorum by now," she protested.

"Picked up a passenger. Got a new job," he said brusquely.

Inara pursed her lips.

"Explain," she demanded.

So they did. Hugo was introduced, and the entire sordid conspiracy was rehashed, right up to the plan to retrieve the access code for the beetles. For her part, Inara handled the news much better than Wash had. She paused thoughtfully when everyone was finished speaking, then replied.

"I haven't heard anything about a woman called The Engineer."

Mal sighed.

"Well, we intend to find her at this ball. Which means, I'll have to dig the suit out of storage."

"Absolutely not," Inara said suddenly.

"Excuse me?" Mal asked, frowning.

Inara shook her head firmly.

"You are _not_ going to that ball. At least not as a guest. You can pass for a server. _Maybe_."

Mal raised an eyebrow and settled back in his seat. The Doctor thought that it resembled a battle position, as if he was physically digging in for a fight.

"And seein' as I'm captain of this vessel and _I_ make the plans, can you explain to me exactly why _you_ think I shouldn't do this?"

"Because the last time you infiltrated a ball, you wound up in a duel. With swords," Inara stated. Mal threw his hands up in the air.

"You get in one little duel, and it's all anybody can—"

"Oh! The Doctor's done a swordfight!" Rose interjected, grinning from ear to ear.

The Doctor straightened up, warmed by Rose's excitement, and Wash gave him an appraising glance.

"How'd you do?" he asked.

"I won, of course. You know, slew the villain, saved the earth. It was a whole thing," the Doctor crowed, failing miserably at any pretense of modesty.

" _Wellll_ …" Rose's trailed off and she gave the Doctor a significant look.

The Doctor felt his jaw drop.

" _Well_ , what? What could you possibly be 'well'ing?" he demanded.

Rose tilted her head to the side and squinted at him.

"It was a bit dodgy."

"Dodgy! I won that duel after waking up from a very long nap and wearing borrowed jim jams!" the Doctor blustered, highly affronted.

"He cut off your hand," she pointed out.

He seemed caught off guard, but quickly recovered. He held the appendage in question up and wiggled his fingers.

"Well, _yeahhhh_ , but it grew back."

Rose remained unmoved.

"Dodgy," she repeated.

The Doctor took a step closer and leaned in. He wasn't fooled by her dismissive attitude. He saw the way she looked at him on that Sycorax ship all those months ago.

"Like you weren't impressed. New Doctor, swordfight, great big spaceship."

He smiled knowingly at her.

"Weird regrow-y hand," Rose tacked on.

The Doctor fought a grin at her cheekiness. She was just playing with him now.

"You love my _new_ new hand," he insisted.

He brought the hand down, and trailed it along her own. His fingers playfully plucked at hers until _finally_ she caved and gave him a smile.

"It's _grown_ on me," she admitted, the tip of her tongue peeking out from behind her teeth.

Wash cleared his throat. The Doctor suddenly remembered that he was in crowded cockpit, in the midst of plotting a rather daring anti-government scheme. They stepped apart, both of their cheeks coloring.

"Can you dance?" Inara asked over the monitor.

"He claims he can," Rose said dubiously.

Again, the Doctor was outraged.

"You've seen me dance! _We've_ danced!" he insisted.

"Not in this body," Rose argued.

His eyes widened for a moment before he stepped back, pinning her with a challenging look.

"Oh, I'll show you dancing!" he said.

She smiled innocently.

"Is that a promise?" she said in a low voice that didn't sound quite like hers.

He was surprised by her tone. It sounded like she was asking him something very different. Maybe all of the toxins weren't quite flushed from her system. But what surprised him even more was his own reaction to her words. A thrill went through his body, and his breath caught in his throat. He coughed, ran a hand nervously through his hair, and tried to compose himself. He was acting like he was only two centuries old, for goodness sake.

Adopting his best 'let's-have-an-adventure' grin, he addressed her.

"I _did_ promise you a ball."

If she was disappointed by his failure to maintain her suggestive tone, she didn't show it.

"That you did," she agreed, returning his grin.

Wash cleared his throat again.

"Okay! So we're in agreement then? The Doctor and Rose will infiltrate the ball as guests, and Mal will go along as a member of the serving staff."

"You'll need an invitation," Inara said.

"Funny, that. I just happen to have one," the Doctor announced.

He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a familiar brown wallet. He flipped it open and showed held it out.

"How'd you get that?" Jayne asked, giving voice to the question on everyone's mind.

"It's blank," River said, thoroughly unimpressed.

The Doctor smiled at her.

"Genius," he said.

"No, really, how the heck did you just do that?" Jayne repeated.

"Never mind that, back to the plan—the lovely Rose is very good at providing distractions," the Doctor said.

"Thank you!" Rose beamed.

Mal appeared content to let the magic with the invitation slide, and he continued as smoothly as possible.

"Okay. So the Doctor'll I.D. The Engineer, Rose'll distract whoever needs distractin' while he takes care of the guards, and I'll provide the necessary… muscle," he said.

"No guns," the Doctor said firmly.

"No guns," Mal conceded. "There's a very fancy weapons detector there anyways."

"No harming The Engineer in any way," the Doctor clarified. "We just get the code and leave."

"I don't hurt women," Mal said solemnly, offended by the mere suggestion.

"Saffron—" Kaylee started.

"I don't hurt women who aren't actively tryin' to kill me," Mal amended.

The Doctor nodded.

"Fair enough. And we won't have any trouble getting the code," he added, gesturing to his temples.

Hugo stepped forward.

"I'll send word to Manuel to stand down. Your plan is much better than ours was anyway."

"And your plan was?" Mal asked.

"Kind of similar, but without the sonic device and the beautiful blond distraction," Hugo said, giving Rose a shameless wink. Rose laughed.

"Zoe, we still got Rose's green dress, right?" Mal asked.

"It's takin' up nearly all of the space in one of the cargo compartments," Zoe confirmed.

"Dig it out and help her get back into it," he said.

Zoe sighed, but moved toward the doorway.

"This'll be fun," she said, gesturing for Rose to follow her.

The rest of the crew dispersed quickly thereafter, leaving only Wash and the Doctor in the cockpit.

The Doctor busied himself by examining every single button and switch in the room, occasionally throwing out a colorful exclamation. After a few minutes, it occurred to him that Wash was being very quiet. He turned to see the pilot watching him with thinly veiled amusement.

"I'm not bothering you, am I?" the Doctor asked.

"Not at all. Normally it's just me and the boys up here," the blond replied.

The Doctor looked around the empty cabin.

"The boys?"

Wash reached up to the dash beside his steering wheel and lifted up several tiny plastic dinosaurs, introducing each one in turn.

"Doctor, meet Bruiser, Diablo, Venom, and Fluffy."

The Doctor gave the last one a skeptical once-over.

"Fluffy, huh?"

Wash shook his head regretfully.

"Fluffy doesn't get a whole lot of respect." Then he held the mini-brontosaurus up above the rest. "But don't you worry, my pet. For one day, you will rule them _all_!"

The Doctor took this all in stride.

"So, not bothering you, then?" he asked again.

"Nope," Wash said happily. He fiddled with a few dials before continuing. "Hey, actually, uh… There was somethin' I wanted to ask you. If you don't mind."

"Not at all," the Doctor said as he perused _Serenity_ 's emergency power panel.

"So, you and Rose, you've been together a couple of years," the pilot said with an air of forced casualness.

The Doctor peeked at Wash from the corner of his eye.

"That's right."

Wash let out a puff of air, somewhere between a laugh and a sigh.

"See, I find that hard to believe," he replied.

The Doctor frowned, but carefully maintained his staring match with the emergency panel.

"Do you?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I mean, the way you two were flirting just now? It's like you're trying to get a first date."

The blond grinned at him, and the Doctor dropped his act and stared openly.

"Flirting?" he repeated nervously.

Wash smirked.

"Oh, come _on_. With the 'I'll show you dancing' and the bit about her loving your new hand, which sounded both dirty and a little confusing at the same time—but I'm not here to judge," he quickly added. "I'm just saying, Zoe and I haven't flirted like that since the early days of our unlikely but charming romance."

"Oh," the Doctor said warily. "Thank you?"

The pilot toyed with Viper a bit. The Doctor could tell that Wash wanted to say something else, but he didn't prompt it. This conversation was verging on territory that the Time Lord preferred to avoid at all costs: Domestics.

"I guess I'm just curious," Wash continued hesitantly. The Doctor held his breath. "How is it that you and Rose keep things… fresh?"

The Doctor raked his fingers through his hair.

"Well, I, uh—"

"I mean, don't get me wrong, me and the missus are still doing _quite_ well in the passion department," Wash rushed to assure the Doctor. "It's just, that giddy sense of, I don't know, trying to say just the right thing to get a smile out of her, the thrill of just getting to hold her hand. That sort of thing seems to be slipping away over time."

And just like that all of the calculated fabrications on the tip of the Doctor's tongue disappeared, because what Wash said resonated with him. He didn't have to invent a response about his pretend relationship with Rose, because everything that Wash just said was true. He _did_ love saying the perfect thing just to see her smile. He _did_ feel a rush of excitement every time she reached for his hand.

"I think that people like Rose are so rare and wonderful that you have to work hard every moment just to deserve them."

Wash sat back in his pilot's chair and considered the Doctor's words. Then he shot the man a wry smile.

"She seems to think you're pretty wonderful too."

The Doctor brushed the compliment aside.

"If I am, it's only because being around good people makes you better."

He moved closer and settled himself back against a row of buttons on the console that didn't seem too terribly important. When he spoke again, it was with a relaxed smile on his face.

"Rose is like… sunshine. She's bright and warm, but it's more than that, because somehow her mere presence makes you brighter and warmer too."

Wash spoke up then with such conviction that his voice startled the Doctor.

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" he exclaimed, slapping his knee. "That right there; you're practically reciting sonnets about the girl and she's not even around to hear them so you get a little extra appreciation later tonight. That's _love_ , Doctor."

The Doctor blinked.

"I guess it is," he said without thinking.

The realization hit him like he'd just been thrown to the floor in the console room of the TARDIS. It wasn't as if he'd never recognized that he had certain _feelings_ for Rose. It was just… he'd never really allowed himself the luxury of indulging in those feelings, of putting a name to them, of following them to their logical conclusion. He'd also never spoken to someone so openly about those feelings. With every word he felt as if the emotions were enhanced, as if simply giving them voice made them more solid. It wasn't appropriate for a Time Lord to feel that rather embarrassing sense of _longing_ for a human, but then again, he'd never taken much stock in what his stuffy race deemed appropriate.

No.

It could never work. It shouldn't. This was some sort of crush and nothing more. Crushes were very human things, but, then, the Doctor did spend most of his time with humans and some of their less attractive habits were bound to rub off on him. He should drop her back off at the Powell Estate before this had a chance to develop further.

But then, he couldn't do that, not to Rose. She wasn't like his other companions; he'd told her as much after she met Sarah Jane.

Wash smiled at him.

"You're a lucky man, Doctor."

"Lucky," the Doctor repeated, as if trying the word out, rolling it around on his tongue to see if he liked the flavor.

Surely he was lucky to have Rose, he knew that. But were these less appropriate feelings lucky?

Was it lucky to care so much for someone who had a lifespan less than one-tenth of your own? Was it lucky to know exactly how the woman you couldn't live without was going to suffer and die? Was it lucky to know that you were helpless to do anything to prevent it, and that if she'd never met you, she'd probably live a long and happy life in your absence?

Suddenly his mood grew dark. No, he wasn't lucky at all. He was trapped in this wonderful, horrible, intractable relationship with an Earth girl who was going to be torn from him. And he would never, ever recover from that, just like he would never recover from the death of his planet.

To his horror, the Doctor felt a lump developing in his throat. He cleared it, coughing roughly, and sat up straighter against the console.

"What if you knew," he found himself asking Wash. "What if you knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Zoe would be taken from you—soon—What then?" he asked.

Wash seemed taken aback by the desperation in his tone, and more than a little confused by the question.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Could you stay with her, knowing that the pain of having her taken from you would be that much greater?"

Judging from the look on Wash's face, he had about a dozen questions for the Doctor regarding his current line of inquiry, chief among them most likely being ' _Why_ are you asking me this?' The Doctor imagined that certain likely scenarios were coming to him. Maybe he thought that Rose had cancer or some other degenerative disease. But to his credit, he grew serious and answered the question simply and to the best of his ability.

"My Zoe's so beautiful. She's so amazing and brave and smart and strong," he began, and the Doctor could see his eyes grow unfocused, like he was picturing his wife as he spoke. "Knowing that, how could I ever go back?" he asked.

Again he lapsed into reverie, and the Doctor let him have his moment. Then, suddenly, he shook his head.

"No. I'm past the point of no return. I'll take whatever time I get with my gorgeous Amazonian woman."

"But if you _knew_ —" the Doctor started.

"You think I don't worry about my wife every single day?" Wash interrupted him. The Doctor frowned, but didn't speak, prompting Wash to continue. " _She's_ the soldier. She's the one with the gun. She and Mal and Jayne rush off into the wild blue yonder to make us our money, and _I_ stay behind with the ship."

He shifted a bit in his sat, tapping his steering wheel.

"Sure, I'm good in a pinch if the need for a hasty getaway arises, but she's far more likely to catch a stray bullet than me. And every time I see her walk away from this ship, I worry. And every time I see her come back, I say a silent prayer of thanks, because I get one more day with her."

He paused again, looking not at the Doctor, but into the vastness of space.

"I know the odds are good that Zoe or I, or both of us will die on the job. So your question, Doctor, it isn't so hypothetical for me. I'm living it."

The Doctor was surprised by the sudden fierceness in the pilot's voice, by the sharpness in his gaze. More than that, though, he was surprised by the way the man had once again spoken his mind so vividly that the truth of his words hit the Doctor with tremendous power.

Every day of his life with Rose was another day of danger. He knew it, and she knew it. She asked him straight away, after their first accidental adventure together, if his life was always this dangerous, and he'd been honest with her.

But, his situation wasn't like Wash's, he told himself, because he saw her get sucked into the Void. He saw her future, her horrible end.

"I can tell you one thing, though," Wash said. The Doctor raised his eyes again. "If I knew exactly how Zoe was going to die, there's nothing in the 'Verse that could stop me from making sure it didn't happen."

The Doctor shook his head. He didn't understand.

"What if you couldn't—"

"Nothing. In the 'Verse. Could stop me," Wash repeated, his face deadly serious. It was the first time he'd seen the lighthearted man look this way.

The Doctor met his steady gaze, and he felt that somehow Wash's determination was being transferred to him.

Who cared what term he used to label his feelings for Rose? Could he say he felt anything for her at all if he wasn't willing to do everything in his considerable power as a Time Lord to save her life? What was he doing, moping about? Of course he wasn't going to lose her to the Void. He was the Oncoming Storm, and she was the woman he adored, and nothing as trivial as a hole in the universe was going to separate them.

"You're right," he said aloud.

He stood abruptly, not even sure why he was doing so. Then he spoke again.

"I need to find Rose."

Wash gave him an anxious look, almost wincing.

"What?" the Doctor asked.

"It's just… right now Zoe's trying to get Rose into that fancy green dress of hers, and if you rush in and take her out of it again, I'm afraid of what my wife might do to you," Wash explained.

The Doctor flushed. He hadn't been thinking of doing anything of the sort. Of course not. He just needed to see her, to talk to her. Just because he could maybe admit to himself that what he felt for Rose was more than strong admiration didn't mean that he was about to sweep her off her feet like a lothario from one of Jackie Tyler's terrible romance novels. All of the same obstacles remained. Still, he was sufficiently intimidated by Wash's warning.

"Right then, shall I just wait here until we set back down on Persephone?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations: Tāmāde hùndàn = Fucking bastard
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: So, writing the Doctor and Wash together was such unexpected fun! I love pairing these different characters together to see how they mesh. I hope you're enjoying it too!


	19. Chapter Nineteen

" _Right then, shall I just wait here until we set back down on Persephone?"_

Wash nodded and gave him an apologetic grin, and they quickly settled back into a comfortable silence. Wash kept his eyes on the skies, and the Doctor puttered around the room, scanning the odd bits and bobs with his sonic to amuse himself. It was two hours before he finally saw her, after _Serenity_ was safely parked at the Eavestown Docks, and the three-man team set to retrieve the code filed into Inara's shuttle, along with Zoe at the helm. Only it wasn't a three- _man_ team, and the Doctor couldn't stop peeking at Rose from the corner of his eye, his gaze lingering on the delicate crystal straps that wrapped around her otherwise bare shoulders.

He would save her. He would. There was no other option. He couldn't even admit to himself how much he needed this. How much he needed her. He couldn't save his people or his planet, but _her_ he would save.

Thoughts of beetles and codes were far from his mind when they disembarked in front of an enormous palatial estate. He barely noticed when Mal excused himself to sneak in through the servants' entrance. All he saw was the beautiful curve of her neck and the green silk ribbon that meandered down her back as he followed her up the stone path to the ball.

Rose had to gently redirect his attention when they came to the entranceway of the grand ballroom. He was confused for a moment until he realized that the ushers required his ticket. He fumbled in his breast pocket and flashed them the psychic paper, and they were guided a few steps further in. They had to pause for a moment in the entranceway for the concierge to formally announce their arrival. It was an antiquated practice, full of pomp and circumstance, but the Doctor didn't mind. It gave him another opportunity to observe her undetected.

Or, at least, he thought he was undetected.

"What?" Rose said suddenly.

The Doctor jumped.

" _What_ , what?"

She smiled curiously.

"You're staring."

That smile. The Doctor had met Helen of Troy and, frankly, she had nothing on Rose Tyler. _This_ was a smile could launch a thousand ships.

"You look beautiful," he said, surprising himself with his own honesty.

The smile remained, but a tiny wrinkle of confusion appeared between her eyebrows.

"You've seen this dress already," she reminded him.

"I wasn't really looking before," he replied.

She gave him a sideways glance, smoothing down the layers of green satin.

"You think I look beautiful?"

He felt almost as if _he'd_ been bitten by Harriet. It just seemed silly to lie anymore, to himself or to her.

"Always," he said.

She didn't seem to understand the sincerity of his words at all, because she stood back, hands on hips, and pinned him with another dubious look. "Really?" she said skeptically. "Because I don't think you've told me that since our second trip."

The Doctor was already lost in reminiscence. He was thinking of a Victorian gown and how her blond hair was swept back in much the same way it was now.

"Charles Dickens," he said fondly.

"And even then I believe you followed it up with something like, 'for a human,'" she pressed on, scolding him almost playfully.

But the Doctor didn't hear her jibes. He was staring again at that green dress.

"Doctor?" Rose prompted.

"I should have told you every day," he said.

Rose's eyes widened very slightly. Suddenly it seemed that her hands wouldn't stay put. She toyed nervously with the pickups on her dress, her eyes avoiding his.

"It's never too late to start," she said.

Her tone was light, as if she was half-joking. But the Doctor barely registered that. He answered with complete seriousness.

"Quite right," he said.

Rose was at a loss for words, and frankly, the Doctor couldn't blame her. He wasn't acting at all like himself. One conversation with a blond man who talked to plastic dinosaurs, and suddenly everything had gone pear-shaped.

Before either of them could make sense of the conversation, the staff were ushering them forward towards the stairs.

"Sir Doctor of Tardis and Dame Rose of the Powell Estate," the concierge announced.

The Doctor offered her his arm without looking at her. He felt her take it, and away they went, down the grand staircase and into the ballroom.

When he felt brave enough, he glanced down and found that her eyes were trained on him. She was going to say something to him, he could tell. He held his breath, half afraid that it would contain rejection, and half afraid that it would contain the opposite.

"Hors d'oeuvre?"

They both paused for a moment, unable to discern who had just spoken. Then Mal appeared at their side, proffering a tray of stuffed mushrooms.

"Do you see her?" he whispered, leaning in.

The Doctor flushed, realizing that he had failed to remember that he was there for a purpose other than ogling his companion, quickly scanned the room. There was no sign of a tall woman with brown hair and cold eyes.

"Not yet, but the night is young," he said.

Mal nodded.

"Well, keep a sharp eye," he said.

"I'll keep two of them," the Doctor assured him.

~0~0~0~

Mal nodded, appeased. He left the Doctor and Rose behind and began another slow lap around the room with his tray. Eventually the mushrooms ran out and he exchanged it for a tray of champagne flutes filled to the brim. It was trickier work carrying them through the swarm of people, but he managed well enough. About halfway through his second lap, the concierge's voice caught his attention.

"Sir Warrick Harrow and Miss Inara Serra," he called out.

Mal's eyes darted up to the stairs. He saw Inara descend with her usual grace, a long sapphire gown wrapped around her skin, skimming each step as she moved.

What was she doing here? Didn't he tell her not to come? Of course she would come. She would always do the exact opposite of what he said. Why did she insist on being so difficult?

He watched her flit through the crowd, pausing here and there to make small talk with various acquaintances. All the while Mal continued his slow circle, holding out his tray with minimal enthusiasm to the guests he encountered. When he saw Inara make her way to a buffet table, he moved in.

"I see you decided to come after all," he said in a low voice.

She didn't look up from her perusal of the fruit tray, as if she fully expected his arrival.

"You know me. Can't resist a ball," she said.

He was going to kill her. She was being deliberately obtuse. What was wrong with her? Atherton Wing, the guest of honor, was sure to arrive soon, and then what? Didn't she realize that she was in danger? She shouldn't even be on the same world as that man. He had a vendetta against her, and men with vendettas were men who would stop at nothing to get their revenge.

"It's not safe for you here," he hissed.

She finally looked at him, only to roll her eyes.

"Honestly, Mal, it's a ball," she said, as if _he_ was the one being obtuse.

Mal roughly set his tray down on top of a cheese plate, causing rivulets of champagne to flow down the sides of the crystal glasses.

"Last time—" he started.

"Last time my date was infinitely less charming," she smoothly interjected.

She gave a nod to Warrick, who nodded back from across the room. Mal sighed. She was already here. What was the point? He'd keep an eye on Atherton and make sure that Inara left before he did.

"I'll give you that."

She looked at him, clearly surprised that he'd given up so easily. She took his silence as an opportunity to eat. She plucked a few grapes and ate them daintily. Then she reached across the table and pulled back a large red fruit. Mal squinted at it.

"I've seen one of those before. A pomegranate, right?" he asked.

She smiled at him.

"Yes, have you ever eaten one?"

He shook his head.

"Wound up usin' it as a weapon instead," he admitted.

She rolled her eyes, but the action was softened by a small laugh.

"Of course you did," she said.

He smiled back at her, and suddenly he was sorry for every moment that he spent fighting with her. Things were so much pleasanter this way. Why did he ever cause her to frown when her smile was so beautiful?

"Do you know the story of Persephone?" he asked.

She arched an eyebrow.

"Do _you_?" she asked skeptically.

Rather than allowing his reflexive sense of indignation to bubble over, Mal smiled. He plucked a few grapes for himself, popped one into his mouth, and began his tale.

"Persephone was the daughter of Zeus and Demeter," he began, setting three grapes down on the table.

"One day Hades, God of the Underworld, spirited Persephone away to the depths of his kingdom and refused to let her go," he continued, sweeping one of the grapes from the table and concealing it in his hand.

"On the earth above, Demeter was overwhelmed with sorrow. She was the Goddess of the Harvest, and in her grief, she refused to let the plants and flowers bloom," he said.

His eyes landed on the impressive floral table setting before them, a bunch of blue and purple blossoms peeking out from a tall crystal vase. In a flash, he grabbed the stems and pulled the whole bunch from the vase. Inara's eyes widened and she glanced nervously around the room, as if the Flower Arrangement Police might appear at any moment. When such an event failed to come, she looked back at him, amusement tugging at the corners of her lips.

"Finally," Mal continued. "Zeus ordered Hades to return Persephone, and he did. But not before she had eaten a pomegranate. She only swallowed a few seeds, but for each one she ate, she was forced to remain in the Underworld with Hades for one month of the year."

He paused, satisfied by the mild surprise written on Inara's face. But before he could finish the story, the Companion spoke.

"And so in the winter months, Persephone is trapped in the world below with Hades, and Demeter, in her grief, brings the death of the harvest. And in the summer, she is returned to her mother, and everything bursts into bloom" she finished for him. She took the bundle of flowers from his hand and replaced them carefully in the vase.

"You _do_ know the story," Mal accused.

"Yes, but I wanted to hear you tell it," she said.

She smiled prettily at him then.

"And were you surprised by my impressive knowledge of Greek mythology?" he pressed.

"Very," she placated. "Here's a reward." She handed him the pomegranate. "Try to restrain yourself from throwing it at someone," she added playfully.

He tossed it in the air once, just to see her eyes widen, then smirked again and tucked it into the large pocket of his suit jacket.

"Thanks."

They allowed a comfortable silence to settle between them. Mal knew that he should replenish his tray and continue to circulate the room. Surely he was drawing some attention to himself, the serving boy flirting with the beautiful guest. And he was, essentially, flirting with her. There was no reason for him to tell her the tale of Persephone other than the desire to impress her, to make her smile at him.

The realization surprised him. He'd never let himself indulge in that kind of frivolous behavior before. Maybe now that she was no longer a tenant on his ship he felt that he didn't have to hide himself behind the mantle of 'captain.' In truth, he didn't want to go back to serving. He wanted to stay with her at this table and pretend that they were just two people meeting at a ball. But, of course, they weren't, and that kind of thinking was silly. That was the way Core-bred people met; people like Inara, not him. And in a few hours, maybe less, he'd leave her behind on this planet to rush into more dangerous, illicit mischief and she'd eventually go back to Sihnon to teach at her fancy Companion academy. But before that, he reminded himself, she'd have a few days in Warrick Harrow's home. A few days during which Atherton Wing might come to call.

"It's really not safe for you here," he said suddenly.

"Mal, I'm here. Just let it go."

The familiar irritation was creeping into her voice. She didn't want him to ruin the moment. Peaceful moments between them were so few, and here she thought he was about to provoke another fight.

"No, not here at the ball. I mean here on Persephone," he clarified.

The slightest wrinkle formed between her brows.

"What are you saying?" she asked.

"Come back with me."

It was out of his mouth before he could consider how it sounded. She didn't gape at him, because that would be too indelicate, but surprise was clear from her barely parted lips and the deepening of that crease between her brows. Did she think he was asking her to return to _Serenity_ , permanently? He wasn't. Was he? No, of course not.

"I mean, after this is all cleared up, we can drop you off with the Doctor and Rose. They have a ship. I'm sure they can bring you straight to Sihnon," he amended.

"Oh," she said softly.

Was she disappointed or relieved? He couldn't tell. Why was she always so impossible to read?

"I just don't like the idea of you bein' on the same planet as Atherton Wing," he added.

She gave him a half-smile and corrected him.

"That's _Sir_ Atherton Wing."

But he was in no mood for jokes. He would be leaving soon, and she had to come with him.

"Inara, please."

A solemnity settled over her delicate features, and she peered carefully at him. He wondered if she found him as difficult to read as he did her. After a moment, she nodded.

"All right," she said, almost in a whisper. Then, slightly louder, she added, "All right. I'll go back with you on _Serenity_."

Her words flooded him with the twin feelings of relief and disappointment; relief that she would be away from Wing, and disappointment that, however her statement might sound, she didn't mean it in the way that he truly hoped but would never ask of her.

Staring into her eyes was suddenly too much, so he looked away to scan the ballroom. He found the Doctor and Rose tucked away in an alcove off to the side of the room. Between a marble pillar and a tall topiary, they were almost invisible, but maintained an excellent view of the room at large. It was a perfect spot to observe without being observed, and Mal nodded in silent approval.

~0~0~0~

In fact, the Doctor was actively searching the room, and as his eyes swept by, he noticed Mal looking at him. Mal raised his eyebrows in an unasked question, and the Doctor shook his head. Nothing to report.

"Any sign yet?" Rose asked.

The Doctor glanced down at her.

"Nothing."

They fell back into silence. He felt Rose wrap herself around his right arm, as if giving the limb a hug. She pressed her cheek to his sleeve, and he looked down to see that she was still staring out at the dance floor. He watched the couples twirling gracefully to and fro and wondered if he should ask Rose if she would like to join them. He was fairly certain that she didn't know this sort of dancing, but there was no time like the present to learn. Before he could ask her anything, however, she was posing a question to him.

"Doctor, what did River show you?" she asked quietly. He felt his breath stop. "What did she make you see that scared you so badly you came to me that night like you'd seen a ghost? What did you beg her not to show you again?"

He swallowed hard, his mind racing to come up with a way to extract himself, both from her and from this conversation. When he started to pull his arm away, however, she only held on tighter.

"Rose—"

"Tell me," she implored.

She turned her face upwards and pinned him with a beseeching look. He felt his resolve begin to crumble. Maybe if he told her about the terrible vision, some of its horror would dissipate. Maybe she would laugh at him and tell him that strange girls on spaceships couldn't see the future. Maybe she would roll her eyes and tell him that for a 900-year-old alien of superior intelligence, he sure was being thick, and that she would never, ever leave him.

But probably it would just scare her, the same way the Beast's prophecy had done back on Krop-Tor. So instead of telling her what he saw, he answered a question she hadn't asked.

"It doesn't matter, because I'm never going to let it happen," he said.

Rather than bring her relief or assurance, however, it seemed to concern her even more.

"So it was about the future. And it was bad. Was it about you and me?" she pressed.

"Doesn't matter," he repeated, trying to push away the sick feeling that was coming over him. He didn't want to discuss this. He couldn't. "It _does_ ," she insisted. "And I know I was in it, because you're still looking at me funny."

"Funny? I'm looking at you like I always do," he dismissed.

She moved some loose blond hair out of her eyes, frustrated.

"You're so full of it! Half the time you stare at me like if you look away I might disappear, and the other half of the time you seem to scared to look at me at all."

This was apparently one of the latter times, because he stared stonily ahead when he replied curtly.

"Well, telling you about it won't do anything."

"You are so stubborn!" she hissed. "You just told River that she should share her thoughts with you because bottling it all up inside makes a person go mad, and now you're refusing to talk to me."

His jaw was set. He couldn't think of a logical response, so he didn't give one.

"It's _me_ , Doctor. You can tell me anything."

"You didn't see it, Rose! It's unthinkable!" he snapped.

His body went rigid. He couldn't look at her. He felt her grip on his arm loosen, but she didn't let go. Then she spoke, and when she did, her voice sounded very small.

"Do I die?"

His insides did a somersault. Everything was playing out before his eyes again. He saw her face, eyes wide with terror, arms reaching for him in vain. He saw the Void looming in the distance, about to swallow her up.

"I can't," he gritted out.

She pulled at his arm again.

"Doctor—" "It's worse than that!" he blurted out.

He finally looked down at her, and the expression on her face was exactly the one he was hoping to avoid. She looked scared. She looked horrified.

"Rose, I'm sorry, but it's so much worse than that, and I can't let it happen," he said desperately.

She bit her lip, eyebrows drawn together, and nodded.

"You'll stop it," she assured him.

That was his Rose, trying to comfort _him_ at a time like this. But he couldn't lie to her, not anymore.

"I have no idea how."

His shoulders slumped, because for all of his bravado while talking to Wash, this was the truth. He didn't know when or where or how Rose was going to be taken by the Void. He couldn't avoid it, and he couldn't be sure that he could stop it after events were set in motion.

"Okay, now I'm scared," Rose said.

He looked at her again, and he could tell she was well and truly frightened. It killed him to think that he had failed her. He couldn't stand the nervous twitching of her lips as she tried to give him a half-smile to soften her words.

And so he kissed her.

She wasn't expecting it. How could she? He didn't expect it himself. But when her lips parted to let out a small gasp, he slanted his mouth over hers and deepened the kiss. She was clinging to his arm again, and his hands were cupping her face. When he pulled back, it was only far enough so that he could look into her eyes. "Don't be scared, because I promise you that I'm not going to let it happen," he whispered.

She couldn't stop herself from frowning slightly, and there was a slight tremor in her voice when she replied.

"But you just said—"

He silenced her with another kiss. This one was needier, more desperate than before. The pressure on her lips was forcing her words back, making her forget them completely. His fingers found her hair, displacing the pins in her intricate updo. He didn't care. He wanted to run his hands through her hair. She made a little mewling noise that he took as encouragement. Her own hands detached from his arm and moved to his chest, clutching at his shirt. Finally, he pulled away. "Nothing in the universe can stop me from saving you," he said, breathless. She seemed dazed from the kiss. She was breathing heavily, her chest heaving. Her eyes flitted from his eyes to his mouth and back again. Then she was up on her tiptoes, hands at the back of his neck, pulling her face down to his. Her lips met his forcefully, her fingers fisting in his hair. It occurred to him for a moment that he should worry about her injured hand, which was still wrapped in a thin bandage, but then her fingers were raking through his hair and it felt too good to consider anything else. They both opened their mouths at the same time and their tongue met. He squeezed his eyes shut and met her, stroke for stroke.

It was hours, eons, at least a millennia or two before he pulled back to breathe. He didn't pull away completely, just a scant few centimeters. His eyes were still closed and so were hers. He felt her lean forward to rest her forehead on his chest. Her breathing was still shaky and shallow, and he realized that his was as well.

"And now, tonight's honoree and his lovely bride. Sir Atherton Wing and Lady Eden Wing."

At the sound of Atherton's name, the Doctor cracked an eye. Over Rose's shoulder, he saw the man of the hour and his lovely bride. His hands left Rose's hair and moved to her shoulders, gently pushing her away. She looked up at him curiously. "That's her," he said.

She turned to see where he was looking and her eyes immediately locked in on a tall, elegant woman. She wore a long silver gown with a mandarin collar, and her chestnut hair was swept back tightly in a complicated braid.

She frowned.

"Who?" she asked.

"The Engineer."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doctor/Rose snogging has finally arrived! Well, was it worth the wait?


	20. Chapter Twenty

 

**Chapter Twenty**

  
The Doctor kissed her. Really kissed her. Not just-returning-the-forceful-kiss-of-the-flap-of-skin-possessing-her-body kissed her, but properly kissed her. Of course, he kissed her after revealing that a clairvoyant teenager had confirmed the doom-filled prophecy of the devil. But still. A kiss from the Doctor; that was something.

  
Or was it?

  
Maybe when this was all over, when they were safely back inside the TARDIS and things were back to normal, he would pretend like none of it happened. And maybe that was for the best. Regardless of what the Doctor said, he didn't _dance_ , not that way, not with his companions anyway. How long could they carry on like that before he panicked and left her behind for her safety or some other ridiculous nonsense? He'd left her behind before 'for her own good' and that was before they'd shared a snog.

  
"I'm parched. Fancy a glass of champagne?"

  
Rose's eyebrows drew together and she stared up at the Doctor, bewildered. Then he subtly jerked his head to the left. Mal stood there next to Inara, with a tray of champagne glasses. Of course. The Engineer had just arrived. They had a job to do.

  
Nodding, she let him lead the way to Mal. When they reached him, she took a champagne flute and very nearly inhaled its contents. The Doctor gave her a startled look, but quickly refocused on the task at hand.

  
"The Engineer is Atherton's wife," he murmured.

  
Mal's eyes widened and then narrowed as they focused on the tall woman on Atherton's arm.

  
"I _knew_ I didn't like her," he whispered.

  
"We need to separate them," the Doctor said.

  
Inara smiled.

  
"I can help with that."

  
Mal's jaw tensed.

  
"No," he said firmly.

  
Inara looked like she was ready with a curt rejoinder, and Rose figured this was as good a way as any to clear her head.

  
"I'll go with her," she said smoothly, taking Inara's arm and strolling in Atherton's direction.

  
As she walked away, she heard Mal retort in a low voice, "Yeah, this is gonna end well."

  
Inara led them expertly through the mass of people, smiling graciously and offering the perfect conversation as she went. How must it feel, Rose wondered, to so effortless fit in wherever one went?

  
"Atherton," Inara said as they approached the illustrious couple.

  
From her tone, no one would guess that they had an unpleasant past. Atherton's face lit up at her approach.

  
"Inara," he started, grinning. "I'm surprised to see you here, but it's a pleasant surprise."

  
"I'm glad to hear it," the Companion replied kindly.

  
Atherton seemed to remember his date then, and he pulled her a step closer.

  
"Darling, this is an old friend, Inara Serra. Miss Serra, my _wife_ , Eden."

  
Atherton's wife smiled in a way that did not quite reach her eyes. They remained keenly trained on Inara, as if she was peering at her through the lens of a microscope.

  
"Charmed," she said coolly.

  
"Likewise. Atherton told me he was married, but he failed to mention how lovely you are. And this is my dear friend Rose," Inara replied, gesturing at Rose.

  
"Ah, your beauty parallels your namesake," Atherton said, his eyes trailing down Rose's frame, pausing on her bandaged hand in a way that made her feel distinctly uneasy.

  
She pushed the feeling away and replied as amiably as possible.

  
"Oh, you're too kind. Good luck keeping this one to yourself," she added, addressing his wife.

  
Eden Wing raised a delicate eyebrow.

  
"I wouldn't think of depriving you. Be my guest," she said, smiling slyly. She turned to her husband. "Darling, why don't you take Rose out for a spin. I'd love a chance to speak with your old friend."

  
Rose found herself being guided to the dance floor, before she could make heads or tails of what had just happened. It was almost too easy to split the couple up, and if anyone was to end up dancing with Atherton Wing, she would have thought it would be Inara. Still, success was success. She focused her attention on the steps of the dance, leaving Inara to deal with the Engineer.

  
"You're very generous with your husband," Inara said to Eden Wing.

  
Eden's sly smile remained on her face when she replied.

  
"I find my that both my tastes and his are _diverse_."

  
She put a peculiar emphasis on her last word, and Inara scanned her face, looking for a hint as to her meaning. What she saw took her slightly by surprise. The woman was making direct eye contact, and then her tongue darted out to lick her lower lip. Diverse tastes, indeed, Inara thought to herself.

  
"Is that right?" she said nonchalantly.

  
"It is," Eden said.

  
Inara glanced across the room, catching the Doctor's eye and giving him a significant look.

  
"Perhaps we could go someplace a little more private?" she said to Eden.

  
The woman nodded.

  
"Of course. Although I'm afraid I have a shadow. Two of them, actually."

  
She motioned toward the doorway. Two men in dark suits stood there, watching them. Inara noted with some curiosity that they both appeared to be wearing blue gloves.

  
"Understandable," she said calmly. "Such is the life of a duke's wife."

  
She took Eden's arm and let the taller woman lead them out of the main dance hall.

  
"She's good," the Doctor said, watching Inara cross the room with The Engineer.

  
"So is _she_ ," Mal said, his eyes glued on Rose and Atherton Wing, who were moving in stiff circular steps around the dance floor.

  
The Doctor's eyes momentarily faltered on Atherton's hand, which had been planted firmly on Rose's lower back, but was suddenly shifting lower. Then Rose twisted away slightly, and his hand lost contact with her completely. She twirled back a second later, and guided the hand safely up to her shoulder. That was his Rose; so confident, so clever. So warm in his arms and soft against his lips.

  
The Doctor blinked.

  
"Right, well, I'm sure Rose can handle herself," he said, straightening up. "We have a lady in waiting."

  
Mal watched Inara slip through a doorway at the side of the room and nodded. He began to follow, but the Doctor placed his hand on the captain's arm, halting him. When Mal looked back at him, the Doctor nodded towards a pair of men in black suits. They too disappeared through the doorway.

  
"Hands of blue," the Doctor murmured.

  
"Let's go," Mal said.

  
They slipped away as discreetly as possible, and listened for the sound of Inara's voice. Almost immediately, they heard her. Mal held a finger to his lips, and ushered the Doctor closer to a room a little ways down the corridor. They both paused outside the arched entryway.

  
"I must say, I'm a little surprised that Atherton doesn't mind your being alone with me. I recall him being much more protective of his things," Inara's voice rang out.

  
"My husband isn't foolish enough to think that he owns me. I'm a powerful woman in my own right," The Engineer's voice replied. "But you already knew that."

  
There was a pause. Then Inara spoke again.

  
"Did I?" she said evasively.

  
There was a deep feminine chuckle.

  
"You know, for a Companion, your attempts at deception are shockingly transparent."

  
The Doctor felt an eerie sense of alarm flooding over him. He had thought that Rose and Inara were able to split Atherton and his wife up too quickly.

  
"You'll have to forgive me. I'm a little rusty," Inara replied.

  
"I'm afraid you'll find no forgiveness here. Take care of her," The Engineer said coldly.

  
Mal and the Doctor made the decision to enter the room without a word to each other. They rushed through the entryway in time to see the men with blue gloves closing in on Inara. The Engineer appeared to be inserting some kind of blue plugs into her ears as she watched the Companion with a sort of detached amusement. The shorter of the two Blue Hands took out a small black device.

  
"Oh, I wouldn't do that if I was you."

  
The Blue Hands turned very calmly to face the Doctor. The Engineer registered their appearance with a degree of surprise, but quickly recovered her cool demeanor.

  
"Whoever you are, you have terrible timing. Your loss," she added with a shrug.

  
"Wait!" the Doctor cried out. "Now, now! Let's not be hasty! Surely there's enough time for introductions. This is my friend Mal, and I'm the Doctor." Mal waved. "And _this_ ," he continued, holding out the sonic. "Is my very handy sonic screwdriver. I was just in the neighborhood and thought, _welllll_ , if you need any bookshelves put together or cabinets done up—"

  
"Or deadly sonic weapons destroyed," Mal suggested.

  
"Or that," the Doctor continued slickly. "If you need any of the three, well, I'm your man."

  
He smiled. The Engineer frowned at him, but the man with the device in his gloved hand clicked something and two blue antennas jutted out from either end of it. A high-pitched whirring, almost too high to be detected by human ears, started up from the device.

  
Inara and Mal both cried out at once, but less than a second later a similar noise was coming from the sonic screwdriver. The Doctor aimed it at the Blue Hands' device and prayed that he'd guessed the correct setting. He was rewarded when black smoke curled up from the device and it gave a loud _crack_! The Blue Hand holding it jumped back and released it. It fell to the floor and the noise stopped.

  
"Excellent," the Doctor said, pocketing his device. He addressed the Blue Hands. "Sorry to have done that. You two seem like perfectly nice murderous government agents, but—"

  
His voice stopped abruptly when the taller of the two men reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a baton, the kind that police use to subdue belligerent protestors. It was probably the only kind of weapon that could be easily snuck through the hi-tech weapons detector at the entrance.

  
"Oh. Wasn't expecting that," the Doctor said.

  
Mal seemed less daunted by the weapon, judging by the way he ran at the man, fists flying. The Doctor decided to leave him to that part, and turned instead to see The Engineer slowly inching backwards. Before she could slip out of the room, Inara was in front of her.

  
"Don't move another inch," she said dangerously.

  
"Or what?" The Engineer asked, mocking her with a feigned look of terror.

  
"Or this," the Companion replied.

  
Then, in a flash, she was behind the other woman with one arm wrapped around her neck, The Engineer's chin disappearing in the crook of Inara's elbow. The scientist struggled in her grip, but Inara held her securely in place by grasping her right wrist with her left hand and applying firm pressure. The Doctor knew what was coming. Inara's hold was cutting off blood flow to both carotid arteries. In three seconds, the woman slumped to the floor, asleep.

  
The Doctor immediately kneeled at her side, checking her vital signs.

  
"She's fine," Inara said calmly. "Companion's are trained to put overly-aggressive clients into a painless sleep if needed. But this will only last a few minutes at most. Is that enough time?"

  
She was right, of course; the woman's pulse was strong. The Doctor nodded in answer to her question and placed his fingertips at the sleeping woman's temples.

  
The Engineer's mind was dark and cavernous, but not nearly so large as River's. Still, it was an impressive structure. He used the power of his thoughts to search for the code. It was a little like fishing, only if both the fish and the hook were magnets. He used his thoughts as a lure to draw in similar thoughts in her mind.

  
In the end, he found himself gravitating towards a room with a familiar blue light flooding out from its doorframe. He was back in the lab, only this time when he watched The Engineer at her computer, he too could see the symbols on her keyboard, it being her own mind.

  
It was quick and easy work. Her dream-state left both her conscious and unconscious mind defenseless to his probing, something that he felt the slightest bit guilty about. But there was no time for guilt.

  
"Got it," the Doctor said, looking first at Inara and then at Mal.

  
It turned out that the Blue Hands weren't much of a threat without flashy weapons, because when the Doctor turned around, one lay unconscious at Mal's feet, and the other was also prone on the ground, groaning and clutching a bloody nose.

  
"What?" Mal asked, looking up from the bleeding man.

  
"I've got the code," he clarified.

  
Mal glanced over at The Engineer's sleeping form.

  
"Oh. Let me just take care of one final thing," Mal said. Then he lifted his shoe and brought it crashing down on the bleeding man's face.

  
The Doctor winced at the resounding _crunch_ that came from the man's facial bones, but didn't bother with his usual reproaches about humans and their need for violence. Instead he said simply, "Let's find Rose and get out of here."

  
They did a decent job of slipping back onto the dance floor as if they hadn't left three people unconscious in the next room over. The Doctor spied Rose and Atherton immediately. Atherton's hold on the blond had become decidedly snugger, and the Doctor's eyes narrowed when he saw the duke lean forward to whisper in his companion's ear.

  
"Stay here," he said to Mal and Inara in a low voice.

  
In seconds, he was standing near the twirling pair, close enough to hear what Atherton was saying, but not quite close enough amidst the parade of dancers to cut in.

  
"—know that you're up to something," Atherton was finishing.

  
"Listen, _mate_ ," Rose replied, her normally soft expression hard and unyielding. "I'm not sure what you think you know, but you'd better loosen your grip or I'll—"

  
If anything Atherton's hold tightened. He spun her so that the Doctor could no longer see her face, and the Time Lord surged forward, remaining close enough to hear Atherton continue in a harsh whisper.

  
"Spare me the threats. By now my wife has taken care of our mutual friend, and I do believe you're next."

  
"Actually, I'm next," the Doctor interrupted.

  
Atherton pulled back enough that Rose's face was no longer obscured. She seemed shaken by the wealthy man's words, but her expression quickly relaxed upon seeing the Doctor standing before her.

  
"Excuse me," Atherton sneered.

  
"I'm next on the lady's dance card, Sir Wing. And as she's my date for the evening, I don't think you'd like to make a scene, would you?" He paused, then tilted his head to the side, as if considering his own words. "I mean, unless you want to challenge me to a duel. I've done duels before, and I cut quite a dashing figure with a sword, don't I Rose?"

  
Rose smiled harmlessly at Atherton, then turned to give the Doctor a look that clearly said _don't-push-your-luck_.

  
"In any case, I'm actually thinking it might be best if we give poor Rose's legs a rest. What do you say, darling? Shall we get some air?"

  
"That sounds lovely, sweetheart," Rose replied, delicately extricating herself the rest of the way from the duke's grasp. But before she pulled away entirely, she turned back to Atherton and said, "You're lucky he cut in. I grew up on the Powell Estate; I know how to fight dirty."

  
Atherton frowned at them, but seemed stunned enough by the Doctor's rambling and Rose's threat that he dared not start an altercation in the middle of the dance floor.

  
As soon as they were out of his earshot, Rose whispered to the Doctor, "Is Inara okay? Atherton said—"

  
"She's fine," the Doctor cut her off. "We're all fine and I have the code, so it's time we saw our way out."

  
She flashed him a brilliant grin.

  
"You know what that means," she whispered.

  
He stared at her blankly until she held out her good hand. Smiling back, he slipped his hand into hers, and said the word she'd been waiting for.

  
"Run!"

  
Giggling like school kids, they raced out onto the eastern balcony, where Mal and Inara were waiting. They gave the amused pair a questioning stare, and Rose and the Doctor managed to compose themselves.

  
"Our ride is on its way," Mal supplied, looking up at the skies.

  
"Good, because Eden has probably already woken up and shaken off the grogginess by now," Inara replied.

  
A loud mechanical hum filled the air, and the leaves on the trees surrounding them shook and shivered. The vibrations increased, and then, from between two trees, Inara's shuttle appeared. Zoe nodded at them from the pilot's chair and lowered the craft to the railing of the balcony.

  
"Stop them! They assaulted me!"

  
The Doctor looked back to see The Engineer stumbling onto the balcony on her sky-high stilettos, Atherton Wing at her side. Both looked furious. Party guests and guards flooded onto the balcony. Atherton rushed towards them, face purple with rage. They weren't all going to make it.

  
Zoe opened the door and Mal hopped onto the balcony's ledge a second later. He held out his hand to Inara and pulled the Companion up beside him, ushering her into the shuttle first. Mal held his hand out to Rose.

  
The Doctor looked around frantically for something, _anything_ , to slow Atherton down. Then his eyes found a metal brace attached to the side of the exterior palace wall. From it flew an impressive crimson banner. The Doctor aimed his sonic screwdriver at the brace and pressed the button.

  
The brace let out a metallic groan and snapped. The beam clattered to the stone floor, bringing with it the fluttering banner. It fell over Atherton, and the Doctor could make out his shape, clawing at the heavy fabric.

  
"Doctor!" Mal called out.

  
Without a backward glance, the Doctor leapt up beside Mal and followed him in through shuttle door. Mal slammed it shut behind them.

  
"Everybody in?" Zoe called out.

  
"All here. Gun it, Zoe," Mal returned.

  
"Yes, sir," the first mate replied.

  
The Doctor was thrown back against the fabric-covered wall as the vessel accelerated.

  
"Lucky these walls are cushioned," Rose called out from across the room. The Doctor saw that she, too, was clinging to the velvet draping.

  
"I guess it's good I left it behind then," Inara said, but the Doctor saw that she wasn't looking at Rose. She was looking straight at Mal, smirking.

  
"I guess it is," the Captain replied, poorly concealing a smile of his own.

  
Inara felt along the wall for purchase and hoisted herself back to a standing position. She glanced over at the piece of cloth she clung to.

  
"There's a tear in this piece here," she noted, frowning.

  
Mal pushed himself from the wall and wavered for a moment before he was steady on his feet.

  
"Well, the Doctor needed a sash," he replied, gesturing to the Doctor's chest.

  
"Sir Doctor of Tardis," Inara mused, eyeing the scarlet accessory.

  
"At your service," the Doctor replied, carefully standing to join them.

  
He took a step to his left and held out his hand to Rose.

  
"Dame Rose," he smirked.

  
She took his hand with the grace of a proper English lady, and promptly ruined the ruse by letting out a playful _whoop_ as the Doctor pulled her up.

  
"Baby, you see me?" Zoe said over the comm.

  
" _I'm about twenty seconds away, docking port open for you, Sweetheart_ ," Wash replied.

  
Mal squinted.

  
"That sounds kinda dirty when Wash is sayin' it to you," he said.

  
Zoe rolled her eyes, but Rose laughed.

  
A minute later the shuttle was safely reattached to _Serenity_ and the successful band of party crashers made their way to the cockpit. They were met by a high-pitched noise so startling that, for a moment, the Doctor thought that somehow the men in blue gloves had made it onto the ship. He realized a split second later, however, that it was merely the ship's mechanic, squealing in delight at Inara's return. Kaylee launched herself at the Companion and pulled her into a tight hug.

  
"It's good to see you too," Inara laughed into the younger girl's hair.

  
"Manuel, I presume," Mal said, addressing the ship's new inhabitant.

  
The Tall One stood beside Hugo, and he bowed his head in greeting.

  
"He boarded shortly after you left in the shuttle. You have the code?" Hugo asked.

  
"Up here." Doctor replied, tapping the side of his head.

  
"Wash, get Mr. Universe on the line," Mal ordered.

  
Wash's hands flew across the ship's controls, and a moment later, the static on the viewing screen cleared to reveal a young man with dark curly hair. Behind him on a curved sofa sat a blond in what looked like a bright bubblegum pink prom dress.

  
"Abbie, we got it," Manuel said, pushing his way to the front of the crowd.

  
The young man squinted into the camera, smirking in a way that betrayed both curiosity and amusement.

  
"My, this is quite the interesting group of misfits knocking at my parlor door," he said by way of greeting.

  
"Did you hear me, Abbie? I said we have the code," Manuel repeated.

  
The Doctor squinted at the man in the screen.

  
"Abbie as in Abbie Hoffman?" he asked. When Mr. Universe smiled, the Doctor went on. "Leader of the 'Yippie' movement in 1960s America. Once said, 'The first duty of a revolutionist is to get away with it. The second duty is to eat breakfast.'"

  
"Yeah, that sounds like the Mr. Universe I know," Wash said.

  
"Is that my old pal Hoban Washburne?"

  
Wash gave a little wave.

  
"Wash, how's it hangin', man?"

  
Wash faltered a bit, glancing around the cockpit, surprised by the casual nature of the question.

  
"Oh, you know, stealing government secrets, running for my life. The usual. How about you?"

  
"What can I say? I'm in love! Lenore, say hi to my friend, Wash."

  
He tilted the camera and fiddled with a dial until the blond on the couch came into focus. Mr. Universe pressed a button on a remote control and the woman's arm jerked to life. It moved down and up once in a rough wave, then sparked. Suddenly a blazing fire sprung out from her elbow.

  
Rose gasped, but the Doctor put a calming hand on her shoulder.

  
"Love-bot," he whispered in her ear.

  
She spun around, pinning him with a look of surprise mixed with a tinge of disgust. He shrugged and said, simply, "Humans."

  
Mr. Universe had already jumped up and run across the room with a fire extinguisher. After he'd put out his love-bot, he turned back to the camera and called out to them.

  
"I'm still working out the kinks."

  
"I bet you are," Zoe muttered.

  
"Wedding's next month, buddy, and I want you there!" he announced.

  
"I'll see what I can do," Wash replied. Then, glancing nervously at his wife, he added, "I'm probably gonna have to decline."

  
"I get it, the old ball and chain. That'll be me soon enough!" Mr. Universe replied gleefully.

  
"The difference bein' that you can just program your wife to agree with you," Zoe said, eyebrow raised.

  
"Look, can we please get back to the task at hand?" Manuel said impatiently.

  
Mr. Universe nodded, suddenly all business.

  
"Right, let me just access the Cortex mainframe and plug into the Alliance subnet."

  
He began tapping away at his keyboard so quickly that it sounded like a faint drum roll.

  
"You can do that?" Mal asked.

  
"You can't stop the signal," the young man replied, grinning cheekily.

  
He hit a few final keys before looking back into the camera. His eyes landed on the Doctor.

  
"Now, Doctor, I believe you have the code. Nice name, by the way. Very mysterious. I like it."

  
The Doctor stepped forward.

  
"It's a hexadecimal cipher."

  
"Of course," Mr. Universe nodded.

  
The Doctor went on to communicate a 36-character code that Mr. Universe keyed in simultaneously. The man behind the screen pressed a final button with flourish.

  
"It should be done," he announced before cracking his knuckles victoriously.

  
"Should be?" Mal repeated.

  
Mr. Universe shrugged.

  
"Well, do you have any beetles around you to see if they just disintegrated into a lovely blend of silicon and bug innards?" he asked.

  
Mal turned to glare at Jayne.

  
"Not anymore," he said.

  
"Well, then I guess you'll have to take the word of the programming genius who just worked his coding magic," Mr. Universe replied. "Look, I have to vamoose. Lenore is still smoldering."

  
Mal wrinkled his nose.

  
"Yeah, sure. You go deal with that, we'll check on the bugs."

  
The screen went back to static, and the captain sighed. Silence descended over the cockpit. Then, finally, Jayne spoke.

  
"Let's go back to Paquin," he said.

  
The pilot turned to him, confused.

  
"What?"

  
"We can see what's happened there," Jayne explained. Off the crew's dubious looks, he added, "It's our fault they have the bugs in the first place."

  
Wash tilted his head to the side.

  
"When you say _our fault_ —"

  
"Wash, change course. Jayne's right," Mal interjected.

  
Wash held up his hands in a sign of defeat, but kept talking.

  
"Mark today down in your diaries, everyone. Jayne was right."

  
In response, the mercenary just growled.

  
~0~0~0~


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

 

**Chapter Twenty-One**

  
War.

  
That was the only way to describe what Jayne saw when they set down on Paquin. The scene was so at odds with what he'd observed the last time they were here. Before people had rushed silently through the streets with their eyes on their shoes, trying to disappear. Now they stood in groups, voices raised in righteous anger, or they ran between buildings with weapons in hand and wrath in their eyes.

  
There was no other explanation. The people of Paquin had gone to war.

  
"Well, I'm guessin' whatever Mr. Universe did caused _something_ to happen," Wash said. "Either that or there's a fantastic sale on summer clothes at the local Shop-Mart."

  
The crew stood just in front of _Serenity_ , taking in the chaos. Mal reached out to snag the sleeve of a passer-by, a young man who promptly pointed a rifle at him. In a split second, Zoe had her own Mare's Leg pointed at the back of the boy's head.

  
"Drop it," she ordered.

  
"I just got a question. I don't want any trouble," Mal said, holding his hands up in a sign of truce.

  
The boy's eyes nervously ticked back and forth from Mal to the rest of the crew, and then far to the side, as if he could somehow see Zoe behind him.

  
"All right," he said finally.

  
He slowly reholstered his gun, and Zoe did the same.

  
"What happened here?" Mal asked. "This mornin' this place was as quiet as Sunday mass."

  
The boy's eyes got wide. His hands flailed wildly as he talked, his words running together in his excitement to tell the story.

  
"The bugs turned to dust. Only it weren't dust. There was plastic in it. And metal. They wasn't normal."

  
"Do you know why?" Mal asked.

  
The boy shrugged.

  
"Proves the old Browncoats right, doesn't it? The Alliance sent 'em to us. Them bugs wasn't what they said they was, so the Alliance must'a done somethin' funny to 'em."

  
"Sometimes old Browncoats know what they're talking about," Manuel said, smiling.

  
The boy shrugged again.

  
"Plus, 'fore they exploded, a couple of 'em bit people, and they started actin' real funny. We already had a feelin' something weren't right."

  
"So the people decided to destroy their own town?" Simon asked, squinting through the smoke.

  
"Not their town. Cleanse it with fire. Start anew," River intoned, taking in the proceedings like a museum curator explaining events long since passed.

  
The boy gave River a curious look. He apparently decided that he wasn't invested enough in the conversation to figure her out, because he spoke again without mentioning her.

  
"The law tried to hush us up when the bugs first went to dust, but we got word they was already revoltin' in Slimton, and we knew it was our chance."

  
Mal nodded, and the boy, sensing he'd been dismissed, ran down the street to join another group of rioters.

  
"Is this good?" Kaylee asked uncertainly. "Is this what we wanted to happen?"

  
Her ever-present smile was gone, replaced by a frown that betrayed both anxiety and guilt. She flinched at the sound of a distant gunshot.

  
"None of it's good. Growing pains are never pretty, but they're a necessary part of life," Book said solemnly.

  
"That's not very Christian of you, Shepherd," the Doctor said, taking in the surroundings with what looked like disappointment. "What happened to 'The meek shall inherit the earth?'"

  
Book seemed troubled by the Doctor's words, but rallied.

  
"Even men of God know that you can't wait for divine intervention every time," he said reasonably.

  
"Taking action doesn't have to mean taking up arms," the Doctor countered.

  
"According to Jayne, these people tried to petition their government first. They didn't immediately take up arms," Book pointed out.

  
The Doctor eyed the mayhem with his nose wrinkled in distaste.

  
"These people aren't working for a unified purpose. They're just reacting with anger and fear. There's no organization. This is pure and simple chaos, and when the dust clears, there are going to be a lot of dead people and no tenable progress."

  
"As I believe our friend Hugo asked earlier today, 'Do you think revolutions are made of rose water?'" Book asked. Hugo gave the Doctor a slight nod.

  
The Doctor sighed. He suddenly seemed very weary. Behind him, a shop window shattered and a clamor of voices rose in celebration.

  
"In my considerable experience, I've found that revolutions rarely end in the change their enlightened leaders set out to produce," he said.

  
Jayne didn't care much for a philosophical debate. The preacher and the Doctor could stand around and have a discussion about something that was already happening if they wanted to; he had more important things on his mind.

  
So, without asking permission, he hopped onto the mule and started the engine. The crew turned towards the noise, startled.

  
"Where d'you think you're goin'?" Mal asked.

  
"Don't know," Jayne replied.

  
He started to ease the mule down the ramp when a body blocked his path. It was Rose. She stood before him, still in her green dress, brows knitted together in concern.

  
"Do you want someone to go with you?" she asked.

  
Of course she would ask to go into a town in the midst of a revolt, dressed in an evening gown. She knew exactly what he was looking for and why he had to do it.

  
"Nah. I gotta do this alone," he said.

  
She gave him a small smile and stepped aside.

  
"Good luck."

  
He nodded, and then he was off.

  
The sun had set, and only the remnants of daylight radiated out from the horizon, but various fires, probably set by the rioters, lit his way. It was a short ride to the center of town, even with people flooding the roads, and moments later he hopped off the mule and removed his goggles. He blinked away the dust, unsure that he was seeing things right. When the picture didn't change, he was forced to accept that it was real. Half of the buildings in the main square were reduced to rubble.

  
"Paquin mobs move fast," he murmured.

  
A group of people rushed past him, shouting something about raiding the armory, and Jayne finally dismounted the mule.

  
"Hey! Hold up!" he shouted.

  
A few of the people slowed down and faced him warily.

  
"Any of you know where the Paks are? Suzette and Darius?"

  
The face of one woman came into view when she stepped forward.

  
"Last I heard they was taken in by the police. Had 'em locked up in…" her voice trailed off and her face went slack.

  
"Oh no. Tell me they got 'em out first," the man beside her pleaded.

  
"What? Speak plain, gorram it!" Jayne barked.

  
"They was in a cell on the north side of the police station. But when everything happened with the bugs, the police was the first ones they hit."

  
"Whadya mean 'hit'?" Jayne demanded.

  
The woman didn't reply. She simply pointed to something behind him. Jayne turned and what he saw made his stomach drop to his toes. Where once stood the police station that he'd visited less than twenty-four hours ago, now lay only debris. Flames still licked the edges of the wooden structure, although most of it had long since burned and smoldered into ash.

  
His mouth went dry, and he didn't hear anything else the crowd might have shouted at him. He was running as fast as his feet would take him, racing towards the remains of the station.

  
"Suzette!" he shouted. "Suzette Pak! Where are you?"

  
He paused at the edge of the wreckage, craning his neck to look for bodies. He saw what might have been a leg and rushed towards it.

  
"Suzette!" he shouted again.

  
But it wasn't Suzette. The stripe down the leg stood out clearly even through the smoke. It was a dead police officer. There were other bodies, all in uniform. Jayne stepped through the rubble as carefully as possible, listening for any signs of life. Then, just when he had almost given up hope, he saw a huddled figure through the smoke.

  
"Suzette!"

  
He ran towards the figure, and felt the air rush from his lungs when his view cleared. It was clearly a male. Pushing aside intense feelings of disappointment, Jayne called out to the man.

  
"Hey! Hey, you! You seen Suzette Pak?"

  
The figure didn't reply. He maintained his crouched position without a hint of acknowledgement. Jayne was rightly peeved. Here he was, looking for a missing woman, and all this guy could do was kneel there and shake.

  
_Wait a minute, shake?_ Jayne thought.

  
He stepped closer, and saw clearly now that the man's shoulders were heaving up and down under the force of his sobs. He was crouched because he held a body in his arms. The body of a woman.

  
"No," Jayne blurted out.

  
Suzette Pak lay motionless, face blackened with soot, contusions and cuts obvious on every open spot of skin. Jayne felt his eyes fill with tears, and he didn't bother to blink them again. Who cared if anyone saw him cry? He looked around the burning streets.

  
This was hell. He had failed her. He was too late. Suzette Pak's body was left here to burn with him in his own personal purgatory.

  
"It's all my fault," the hunched figure moaned.

  
Jayne frowned at the figure. What gave him the right to claim the blame here? Just who the hell was this stranger? But then Jayne realized the only person it could be.

  
"Darius?" he said tentatively.

  
The young man turned, and his teary eyes met Jayne's.

  
"Who are you?" he snapped, suddenly clutching his mother's body tighter, folding his own body over hers to protect it.

  
"I met you and your mama today. In front of the police station."

  
Darius's eyes, which had looked wide and unfocused, were suddenly squeezed shut. He nodded wordlessly. Maybe he remembered Jayne, maybe he didn't. Either way, he seemed to think the mercenary wasn't there to harm his mother, and he turned back to his grief.

  
"It's all my fault," he moaned again, rocking back and forth over the body of his mother.

  
Jayne couldn't figure out what he was supposed to feel now. He stood without saying a word, hands clenched into fists at his sides. Suzette was dead, and her lousy traitor of a son was alive. His emotions flashed from guilt to anger to grief and back again with each passing breath.

  
"It _is_ your fault," he said finally.

  
Darius Pak turned towards him again. His youthful face was streaked with dirt and tears. His lip trembled and his brow creased.

  
"Why are you even here? Leave us alone!" the boy screamed.

  
Jayne felt his lips curl downward in disgust.

  
"Who's ' _us'_? Far as I can figure, you saw to it that it's just you now. You as good as killed your mama," he snarled.

  
Darius blinked at Jayne in complete shock. Jayne wondered if it was his words that shocked the boy, or confusion at why this strange man was still standing there. He got his answer a second later when Darius's face crumpled in tears.

  
"I know," he said.

  
It was Jayne's turn to blink in surprise. He wanted to hurt the boy, he wanted to lash out at the only person there to blame besides himself, but now when he looked at his feet he didn't see a traitor. He saw a boy crying over the death of his mother.

  
"Gorram it," he muttered.

  
Screams erupted down the street. Jayne aimed his Le Mat in the direction of the sound, and what he saw made his heart start up in double time. Purple bellies lined up in formation were marching up the street. Someone had called in the reinforcements.

  
"Hey, we gotta go," Jayne said.

  
He looked away from the soldiers and down at the boy, but he was still sobbing like he hadn't heard a word.

  
"Hey! Get up!" Jayne barked.

  
Darius shook his head furiously, eyes on his mother.

  
"Leave me. I'm not goin' anywhere."

  
Jayne gritted his teeth and glanced again at the rapidly approaching battery.

  
"Look, you stay here, they'll shoot you. Let's go!"

  
Darius turned to him finally, and he saw that the boy's face was red with rage.

  
"Who cares?" he spat. "I deserve it, right? I killed her!"

  
Jayne was seconds from leaving this stupid kid behind and hitting the gas all the way back to the ship. What did he care if Darius Pak wanted to get himself killed? He came back for Suzette, not the boy, and Suzette was dead. He wasn't about to argue with the boy and give the Alliance time to catch him standing around fighting with a teenager.

  
But before he could turn to leave, Rose's voice was echoing in his head.

  
" _What makes you a good person isn't always doing the right thing; it's learning to do the right thing more often."_

  
" _Tā mā de wǒ_ ," he muttered under his breath.

  
He couldn't save Suzette, but she'd want him to save her son. He was a stupid kid, but it wasn't his fault that his mother was dead. He deserved a second chance.

  
He turned back to Darius, grabbed his bicep, and pulled. The boy was jerked to his feet before he knew what was happening. Once his brain caught up with him, the boy fought furiously against the mercenary, punching at his chest.

  
"Let me go! I ain't goin' nowhere without my mama!" he shouted.

  
"We'll bring her body," Jayne gritted out. "We'll get her to safety so you can give her a fittin' burial, but if you stay here, she won't get any burial at all, because you'll be dead too."

  
This seemed to finally knock some sense into the boy, because he stopped struggling immediately. Then, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, he looked down the street and saw the soldiers.

  
"We hafta move fast," he said.

  
Jayne was about to snap back that he knew that, but there wasn't time. He stooped to take Suzette's shoulders while Darius lifted her feet, and Jayne led them to the mule. Darius clutched his mother's body as he sat in the back and Jayne started the engine. The first shots just began whizzing over their heads as he peeled out into the night.

  
The Alliance didn't follow. They had enough to deal with in the town center. Jayne drove the mule up to _Serenity_ and found it abuzz with activity.

  
Simon was bandaging the wounded, assisted by Kaylee. Inara had some sort of ointment in a small ceramic bowl that she was spreading on the wounds ahead of time. Beside them, the Doctor looked like he was showing Rose how to do something with his sonic screwdriver, holding it up to a man's badly injured leg. Shepherd Book was administering last rights over three bodies lined up to one side of the ship. Mal, Zoe, and Wash were nowhere to be seen, and the same was true of Hugo and his friend Manuel. River, he assumed, must be back inside for safety's sake.

  
At the sound of the mule approaching, everyone looked up. They had questions in their eyes, but they were all so busy with their assorted tasks that they merely acknowledged him with a nod. Everyone except for Rose, who handed the sonic screwdriver back to the Doctor and walked over.

  
As she came closer, her eyes searched the back of the mule and found Darius still cradling his mother's body.

  
"Is she—" she began, but she cut herself off.

  
Jayne's silence was enough to answer her question. She stepped up to the mule and slipped her hand into his. He let her hoist herself up beside him and pull his head down to her shoulder in a makeshift hug.

  
"This wasn't your fault," she whispered to him.

  
He didn't cry this time. He was feeling oddly numb.

  
"I brought her boy back," he said.

  
He felt her hand go to the nape of his neck, cradling the back of his head as if she was holding an infant.

  
"That was good of you," she replied.

  
It was like her words released him of his guilt. He let out a shaky breath and straightened up. She released him and stepped down from the mule.

  
"Maybe the shepherd'll help us give her a proper burial," he said, clearing his throat.

  
She nodded resolutely.

  
"Of course he will."

  
Rose helped him get the boy and his mother down from the mule, and together they brought Suzette's body down by the others. Book paused in his ritual, draped Suzette's body in a bit of cloth like the others, and showed Jayne around to the back of the ship. It was there that he found the rest of the crew. Mal, Zoe, and Wash were digging graves.

  
"Alliance is in town. They'll probably be spreading out here soon. We should leave," he told them.

  
Mal looked up and peered into the distance.

  
"It'll take 'em hours to reestablish order in town. We'll finish here first."

  
He went back to digging. Jayne wasn't sure about the wisdom of the decision, but before he could question it aloud, Book's hand was on his shoulder.

  
"If you can't do something smart, do something right," he said.

  
Jayne didn't think what the preacher said was in the Bible, but he felt it should be. He grabbed himself a shovel alongside Darius and set to work.

  
When the bodies were interred and Book had finished his prayers, they set off.

 

  
~0~0~0~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Tā mā de wǒ = fuck me
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes:
> 
> This chapter is very different from the last one. Please let me know what you think!


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

 

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Before they left Paquin, Hugo and Manuel reappeared. Hugo leaned heavily on his tall friend, his limp more noticeable than ever. Both of them were covered in soot and scrapes, but twin smiles graced their faces as they approached. Mal had only just finished burying the last body, and after such a sorrowful task, he couldn't imagine how anyone could smile.

"You're just in time. We're leavin' for Verbena," he said gruffly.

" _We're_ not," Hugo said. "Manuel and I will stay behind."

Mal stared at him. Who would want to stay on a planet that was in open revolt? A revolt that, incidentally, was about to be put down by encroaching Alliance troops? Mal was known to commit to a lost cause when the situation warranted it, but this wasn't the Battle of Serenity Valley. It was a riot, a disturbance, and one that would soon be put down.

"This is what we do," the short man continued.

He spread out his arms, gesturing to the chaos around him, and his smile broadened.

"What? Get yourselves killed on border worlds?" Jayne spat.

He and the kid called Darius had insisted on burying Suzette Pak's body alone. It had clearly taken a toll on both of them; they sat, sullen, away from the rest of the crew. The way that Jayne spoke up now made it clear that he was just as impressed by the revolutionary pair's smiles as Mal was.

"The Doctor was right," Manuel Prada said.

"Stop it," Rose scolded lightly, elbowing the Doctor.

The Doctor held his hands up in an exaggerated display of innocence.

"Stop _what_? I didn't do anything."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"You were gloating. I know how much you love it when people say that phrase."

"Gloating? I didn't say so much as one word!" the Doctor sniffed.

"You did it silently," Rose insisted.

The Doctor snorted.

"Silent gloating? Who ever heard of such a thing? Utterly ridiculous."

"You two mind?" Mal interjected.

"Sorry," they said simultaneously.

Manuel continued as if the interruption hadn't occurred.

"He was right, because what is happening on Paquin isn't an organized revolt, it's knee-jerk aggression. But we can make it into a movement. This could be the start of a Browncoat resurgence."

"We've been waiting for an opportunity like this. People get complacent. Even former Browncoats are starting to get comfortable with all of the supposed 'benefits' of Alliance control, and we knew it would take something on a large scale to get people to open their eyes," Hugo added.

"There ain't gonna be another war. Bug dust ain't enough to make people lay down their lives," Jayne balked.

"Look around you," said Hugo. "I think you'll see differently."

Mal watched Jayne scan the surface and he did the same. There were very few people left on the outskirts, and those that were still in view seemed to be heading for town. They weren't running _from_ the Alliance troops; they were running _at_ them.

For the first time in a long time, Mal felt that old familiar spark of defiance. And he wanted to join them, wanted to race off into the fray, Zoe at his side, and force that Alliance unit retreat in shame. He couldn't help it. Once a Browncoat, always a Browncoat. But he wouldn't be joining up. Not today at least.

"I'll sign up."

It took Mal a moment to figure out who had spoken. Then Darius Pak stepped forward. His face was still red, his eyes puffy from crying, but there was a look of absolute determination on his face. Mal was startled to see such stark resolve on so young a face, but when he thought about it, he realized that he must have looked much the same way when he decided to become an Independent.

"Don't be an idiot," Jayne growled. "I didn't save your hide back in town to have you throw it away now."

Darius pinned him with a solemn look.

"It's what my mama would'a wanted. Heck, she'da already signed up and been leadin' the charge," he replied, his mouth twisting into a smile.

Jayne seemed to have nothing to say to this. He fell silent again, staring ahead at the mound of earth under which Suzette Pak's body lay.

"We wish you luck," Mal said, reaching out a hand to the boy.

He was surprised by the strength of Darius's handshake, but it warmed him to find that the kid was made of tougher stuff than he seemed at first. He'd need to be if he was going to survive.

Jayne, apparently deciding to trust Darius, silently stood and rested his hand on the boy's shoulder. It was a show of tacit approval, and it was a goodbye. When the mercenary let go, he nodded at the crew, and disappeared up _Serenity_ 's loading dock.

Everyone else seemed to take this as their cue to go, because soon there was a line of people passing by Darius, Manuel, and Hugo to say their goodbyes. Mal was the last to pass through, and when Hugo's hand clasped his, he felt the man hand something off. He pulled back to see a familiar-looking business card in his palm.

"Just in case you need it," Hugo said.

Mal examined it more closely. It was made of a thick, bright white cardstock with only two words written across the center in bold black font: LIBERTY FACILITATION. He flipped it over. It was blank.

"I don't see a number to call," he noted.

Hugo smiled.

"That's not the way the card works."

"We find you," Manuel continued.

They looked awfully smug.

"I think this last time _I_ found _you_ ," Mal couldn't help pointing out.

Manuel gave him a skeptical look.

"Accidentally. By falling on me," he said.

"And then attacking a crippled man with fruit," Hugo added, gesturing with his cane.

Mal frowned.

"Yeah, but still. It should count for something," he said petulantly.

Manuel chuckled.

"We'll find _you_ ," he repeated.

Mal silently conceded defeat and slipped the card into his pocket.

He boarded _Serenity_ last, and when he hit the button to raise the loading ramp, he felt a strange sort of calm settle over him. He expected to leave feeling guilty after witnessing the aftermath of their misadventures, but instead he felt content. He was a part of the solution now, not the problem. Things might get worse before they got better, and maybe nothing would change, but at least he'd righted the wrong of dropping those beetles off on Paquin.

"Wash, Kaylee, get us off the ground," he said.

They both gave him a look of mild surprise at being ordered around so quickly, but there wasn't any point in idling on the surface any longer than they had to. They'd best get the Doctor and Rose back to Verbena and find another job while they were there.

"I'm going to send a wave to Warrick so he knows where to send my things," Inara said, excusing herself to her shuttle.

Mal wanted to ask her what location she would give Warrick. Would she have him ship her things directly to Sihnon? To Verbena? Was she planning to hitch a ride with the Doctor and Rose as he'd suggested, or would she stay on _Serenity_ a bit longer? Maybe he could risk a landing on Sihnon to take her there himself. Maybe it would be worth it just to have her on the ship for a bit longer.

But he didn't get to ask her anything, because she was already sweeping up the stairs in her blue gown, and then Simon was speaking.

"I should sterilize these."

He gestured to his leather satchel of medical instruments before making his way to the med lab.

"I s'pose you'll need some help gettin' outta this green monstrosity again," Zoe asked wearily, pointing to Rose's dress. Then she seemed to realize something, a smile spreading across her face. "Unless, Doctor, you'd rather do the deed. I'd completely understand, of course."

If Mal was in a slightly lighter mood, he might have laughed at the Doctor's feeble response. The man's mouth fell open, but no sound came out. When sound _did_ come, it was sort of a nonsensical sputtering. Mal squinted. You'd think the poor soul had never touched the girl before, which, of course, he knew wasn't true.

"There's no need to be coy, Doctor," the captain said. "I saw the way the two of you were pawin' at each other at the ball. I was worried someone would faint from oxygen deprivation."

He was teasing, but he really _was_ trying to put the Doctor at ease. It was pointless to put on airs on this ship. Everyone was exhausted and they'd be flying for another day. If the Doctor and Rose wanted to indulge in a little nocturnal activity to pass the time, then so be it.

If anything, however, the Doctor seemed to grow more anxious. His cheeks went scarlet and he glanced helplessly at the stairs to the upper deck, as if it was an escape route. It was a bizarre reaction to a simple statement, and Mal wondered again just how affected he was by the Alliance's meddling with his brain. Mal turned to Rose, and saw that she was giving her man as curious a look as the rest of them. Finally, she spoke, possibly to put the Doctor out of his misery.

"It's fine. Zoe, I'll just have you help me, yeah?" she said, her tone straightforward and calm.

But before she retreated to her room, she walked up to the Doctor and took his face in her hands. Apology was written all over his features, in his down-turned lips and his drawn-together brows, but it seemed Rose, would have none of it. She gave him a soft smile, went up on her tiptoes, and brought her lips to his as if nothing had happened. The Doctor's eyes drifted shut, and Mal shifted uncomfortably, knowing that he should look away. Thankfully, it was a very brief kiss, and Rose rocked back onto her heels. She spoke to him again, still holding his face in her hands.

"I'll be in bed. You can join me later if you'd like, or not. Either way, we'll be back in the TARDIS tomorrow evening."

Mal really had to stop listening to their conversations. They did nothing but bewilder him. He guessed that 'Tardis' must be the name of their ship, but he couldn't figure why the Doctor _wouldn't_ like to join his girl in bed. If he had a girl like Rose—dark curly hair and red lips flashed through his mind and he swallowed hard.

When he refocused his attention, Rose was walking away with Zoe, and the Doctor was staring after her in some sort of a daze. He glanced around to see that only Jayne and Shepherd Book remained in the room with them. Where River went off to, he had no idea. That girl seemed to have found ways of traveling around the ship that defied the laws of physics.

"I'll spot you, if you'd like," Book said.

He was looking at Jayne, and the mercenary gave a grunt of assent. Book was always good at noticing when people needed to be left alone and when they needed another body around. But he doubted that the pair needed an audience, and he had a few questions that he wanted the Doctor to address. So he turned back to the man in question just as he felt the engines kick on. They were leaving the surface.

"Doctor, a word."

He had clearly interrupted some deep ruminations, because the Doctor seemed startled to realize that he wasn't alone. He nodded absently at Mal, and the captain gestured for him to follow. The kitchen would be empty, and that was as good a place as any to lead a makeshift interrogation.

When they entered the room, he didn't offer the Doctor anything to eat or drink, and the Doctor didn't ask. His mind was clearly still elsewhere, and Mal intended to redirect his attention.

"So, exactly how many lies have you told me since I invited you on my ship?" he asked abruptly.

The effect was exactly what Mal had been going for. The Doctor sat up straighter and fixed Mal with wide eyes. Then a slight smirk seeped into the corners of his mouth. Okay, not _exactly_ what he had been going for.

" _Technically_ you never invited me on your ship. You carried me here, unconscious. I really had no choice in the matter."

Mal narrowed his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so adverse to havin' your life saved. I could remedy that right now by pushin' you out an open airlock," he retorted.

The Doctor gave him a full-blown smile now.

"A very thoughtful offer, but I think I'll pass," he replied.

"You didn't answer my question," Mal pointed out.

The Doctor sighed and stretched out in his chair.

"Perhaps it would be easiest if you asked me something more direct."

"Why? Told too many lies to keep track?"

The Doctor smiled again.

"Sometimes lies aren't bad. They're just the grease that keeps the engine moving," he said.

Mal refused to reveal a hint of emotion at that.

"Let's start with your invitation to the ball."

The Doctor pulled the wallet from his pocket and tossed it onto the table in front of Mal.

"Psychic paper," he supplied.

"Never heard of it," Mal said.

He frowned. The wallet, which had once shown him Hugo's LIBERTY FACILITATION card and later an invitation to Atherton Wing's ball, was now completely blank.

"Pick it up," the Doctor said.

Despite the feeling that he shouldn't touch the thing, he did.

"Now show it to me," the Doctor continued.

Frowning incredulously, Mal nevertheless did as instructed. The Doctor's eyes scanned the paper, and he let out a quiet chuckle.

"Well, that's good to know."

Mal frowned again and flipped the wallet around. Instead of it being blank, the small paper inside was now inscribed with writing.

" _Doesn't matter how helpful you were. I_ will _throw you out the airlock if I have to_ ," Mal read aloud, his bewilderment growing with every word.

"See? Psychic," the Doctor said, tapping his temple. "It shows the reader what the holder wants them to know, or vice versa."

"Where'd you get this?" Mal asked. "Is this Alliance tech? With somethin' like this, they could… they could do anything. They could do _everything_."

His anxiety was on the rise, his mind racing with the possible implications of a weapon so powerful.

"It's not Alliance. It's not anything within twenty centuries of this universe, so you can relax," the Doctor said.

"Oh, so now you're a time traveler?" Mal snorted, dubious but relieved.

"Yes, exactly," the Doctor replied, seeming pleased by Mal's deduction.

Mal shook his head in amusement. He was beginning to realize that the Doctor had more in common with River than he'd previously thought. Sure, the man put on a better show of being normal, but his mind was clearly no less addled.

" _Wellll_ , 'time traveler' is actually sort of an insulting title. It implies that I'm some sort of a tourist, just drifting from spot to spot without any responsibility. In reality, I'm a—"

"Time Lord?" Mal interjected.

The Doctor gave him a bemused look, and Mal went on.

"Rose tried to tell us that when she first got onboard." He shook his head at the memory. "Didn't believe it then, don't believe it now."

"I'll tell you what," the Doctor began. "When Rose and I get back to our ship, I'll give you a tour and you'll understand everything."

"Yeah, sure thing, _Time Lord_ ," Mal said, unimpressed.

The Doctor might have some shiny toys, but he was obviously _fā kuáng_. Bless Rose for staying with him after his captivity and indulging in his little fantasies. If nothing else, this conversation put to rest any misgivings he had about the Doctor. Any deceptions perpetrated by the strange man seemed to be a product of his altered mind. He wasn't a threat, at least no more so than River.

Mal held out the brown wallet, but the Doctor shook his head.

"Why don't you keep it? Just until we're back on Verbena. Satisfy your curiosity some more," he said pleasantly.

"Whatever butters your bread," Mal shrugged, letting the psychic paper drop back to the table.

"I sent word to Warrick," Inara called out, entering the room.

She paused halfway to the table.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" she asked. She took a few more steps. "Simon and Kaylee are using the Cortex in my shuttle and I wanted some tea before bed."

Mal gestured for her to sit.

"You're always welcome in here," he said.

She gave him a curious smile. The second that she sat, the Doctor stood.

"Well, I should be off," he announced.

Mal smirked.

"Sure. You don't want to keep your lady waiting."

The Doctor flushed and faltered a bit in his stride, but he made it out the doorway with a vague mumble that sounded something like, 'Good night.'

"You shouldn't do that," Inara gently scolded.

She wasn't smiling anymore, but there was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes.

"I didn't do a thing," Mal denied.

Now Inara did smile. She glanced back at the doorway.

"He's shy about matters of the heart. I like that."

"Really?" Mal asked skeptically.

Inara turned back to him.

"Why so surprised?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Nothin'. It's just that women in your profession aren't known for bein' shy in that regard."

Her features turned to ice. She was up and at the stove without a word, and Mal knew that he'd said the wrong thing.

"I didn't mean it as a knock against Companions," he insisted.

She barely looked up from the teakettle when she replied.

"I think it's best if we just don't talk about my profession at all."

He sighed and fell silent for a few minutes. She did the same, moving smoothly through the kitchen to prepare her tea. Mal wondered idly if that was something they taught in Companion training—how to move like you were gliding. He figured they must, but maybe it was something unique to Inara. He'd never seen another woman move that way.

"How long till Verbena?" she asked a little while later, once her tea was steeping.

"'Bout half a day."

She placed the little ceramic teapot on the table along with two cups and saucers. Mal had always thought that the porcelain was hers, but either it wasn't, or she'd decided to leave it behind when she packed for Persephone.

"Would you like some? It's jasmine," she said.

He wasn't much of a tea drinker, but took it as a peace offering with a muttered, "Thanks."

They sat in silence. He thought back to the conversation they'd had at the buffet table earlier that evening. The ease of it, talking to her, off the ship, without the burden of their roles to play, now seemed a million miles away. But it had been so nice to see her smile and laugh, and to know that out of all the stuffy aristocrats in the ballroom, she preferred to stand with him.

He remembered something then, and reached into his coat pocket.

"Want a snack to go with your tea?" he asked, holding up a familiar red fruit.

It was ridiculous, the amount of relief he felt when the smile returned to her face.

"You resisted the urge to hurl it at someone," she noted fondly.

"We'd better eat it now, before my resolve is tested," he said sagely.

She laughed, and he couldn't stop himself from grinning. He stood and retrieved a knife from the counter, but paused with the blade against the skin of the pomegranate.

"How exactly do you eat one of these things?" he asked sheepishly.

Inara gave him a playful sigh, and gestured for him to come back to the table. When he did, she took the knife and fruit from him, and carefully sliced the very top off.

"There's no edible flesh on a pomegranate. You just eat the seeds," she explained, tilting the cut end for him to see. Sure enough, there was only a white rind and plump ruby seeds inside.

"The seeds are divided into several chambers, so you have to score the skin in several vertical lines," she continued, slicing as she spoke. "And then… voila!"

She gently pulled at the edges of the fruit and it popped apart into two pieces. She repeated the process until there were five wedges on the table, each bursting with delicate seeds.

"And you're sure that you're s'posed to eat the seeds?" Mal asked dubiously.

Rather than replying, Inara plucked on of the wedges from the table and took a large bite, consuming at least dozen seeds at once. When she pulled the rind away, bright red juice lined her lips, and she grinned at him.

"Convinced?" she asked.

Pulling his eyes from her lips with a bit of difficulty, Mal picked up a wedge for himself and chomped down. He was surprised by the texture (strangely pulpy) and the taste (tart, but not unpleasantly so). He made a noise of approval, and they continued to eat and drink without comment.

They both reached for the last wedge at the same time. Their hands met over the tops of he seeds, and Mal immediately pulled back and let his hand drop to the table.

"You go ahead," he said.

"What's that?" Inara asked sharply.

Mal was puzzled by the curtness of her reply, but he quickly realized that she wasn't talking about the pomegranate. Her eyes were on his hand, which was resting on top of the Doctor's psychic paper. His heart leapt to his throat when he read the words displayed as clear as day on the previously blank page.

'Please don't leave.'

She had dropped her wedge of fruit and stared openly at his face now, trying to discern the meaning of the note. Mal seemed to have forgotten to breathe. The Doctor's words were echoing in his brain.

' _It shows the reader what the holder wants them to know, or vice versa.'_

"It's a magic trick from the Doctor," Mal managed to reply, drawing his hand away. Then, knowing that he shouldn't, he continued. "Pick it up."

Inara eyed him warily, but as it was only a piece of paper, she did as he asked.

"Now show it to me," he said, pushing aside the voice in his head that was telling him to stop.

She did so, and Mal stared with bated breath. Before his eyes, the words on the psychic paper disappeared. Then, slowly, inky black writing appeared, as if scribbled by an invisible hand.

'Just tell me.'

His heart thudded against his ribcage. He glanced up at her face, and saw her glancing back at him curiously, oblivious to the message on the paper. If what the Doctor told him was true, then he was reading her thoughts. Just tell her what, though? Just tell her that he wanted her to stay? Just tell her what the magic trick was? Just tell her what he meant by 'Please don't leave'? There was only one way to find out.

"Now flip it around and read what it says," Mal said.

When her eyes fell on the paper, she gasped.

"It's psychic paper. Is that what you were thinking?" he asked.

For a second, she didn't respond at all. Her cheeks colored slightly, and her eyes scanned the page again, as if she was waiting for the message to change, but then she looked back at him with something like fear in her eyes.

"When you touched it, it said 'Please don't leave,'" she noted.

Of course, it hadn't occurred to him a second ago that revealing the paper's trick would also reveal his own secret. He swallowed and took a deep breath.

"It did," he replied simply.

"So then…" Her voice trailed off.

"What do you want me to tell you?" he asked.

His pulse was rocketing again. It was so strange yet so completely _them_ that it literally took a mind reader to get them to speak the truth to each other. They were on the verge of something here. He could feel it.

Inara bit her lip, and he put out a hand to stop her, resting it gently on her wrist. He didn't remove his hand when she stopped. He waited.

"I want you to tell me the truth. What do you want from me?" she asked.

Her voice wasn't the confident, lilting tone of the woman he knew. She sounded skittish and unsure.

"Well, I could say that I just want you to do whatever makes you happy, but I think the paper made it pretty clear that that's a lie," he said.

There was a lightness to his voice, but he felt the pulse in her wrist jump, and knew that his words hit home. It was now or never, and he was going to go for broke.

"I'm selfish, Inara. I want you to stay," he admitted.

He released her wrist. The cards were on the table. He wasn't going to hold her there. It was her turn to speak.

Her eyes seemed glued to his, but she didn't say anything for what felt like a long while. He could see that she was at war with herself. Her face was no longer a careful mask, but a map of nervousness as she tried to form a response.

Finally, instead of speaking, she picked up the brown wallet and stared at it. Mal couldn't see the words that appeared, but whatever they were, they caused tears to spring to Inara's eyes. She blinked them away and turned the paper to him.

'I can't be two things at once.'

"I couldn't stop working," Inara said, finally breaking her silence. "I was going back to Sihnon to teach at the Academy. If I stayed on _Serenity_ , I would continue to see clients."

Mal frowned at the implications. He couldn't share her. She knew it, and he knew it.

"I'm a Companion, Mal. It's what I was raised to do. It's all I know. You can't ask me to give that up, just as I'd never ask you to give up your life on _Serenity_ ," she continued.

Her words hit him like a sonic rifle blast to the gut. As devastating as they were, he knew she was right. It didn't make the moment any less painful. So many months of dancing around the truth, and now that they were finally being honest with each other, the outcome would be no different.

His mind started spinning, trying to come up with any solutions, a compromise, a magical answer to their problem. Then, he thought he might have found it.

"I'm not sure about job security of a Guild registered Companion," he said.

Inara's anguished frown fell away.

"This coming from the smuggler? The man who lives from job to job? Really?" she asked skeptically.

"I don't think anyone who works for an Alliance organization is secure," Mal went on. "If what happened on Paquin is any indication—"

"It's not," she interrupted.

"—any indication of things to come—"

"Mal, it's _not_ ," she cut him off. "I'm sorry, and this is the only time you'll ever hear me say this, but Jayne was right. The bugs aren't enough to cause a revolution. People aren't going to be willing to die for that."

The look that she gave him was kind and imploring. She wanted him to accept reality. But he wasn't convinced that she was right anymore. Not at all.

"Darius Pak is," he pointed out.

Inara shook her head.

"His own mother was killed. By the rioters who attacked the police station, I might add. Not by any government organization. Movements like this don't produce change, Mal. They consume themselves."

She took his hand in hers, trying to soften the blow. He was unyielding.

"Think about what the Alliance did to River."

That provoked a wince. She frowned and waited for him to continue.

"Now think about the bugs, and a picture starts to emerge. What else are they doin'? What else have they already done?" he pressed.

She shook her head again.

"The problem is that the people on this ship are essentially the only people who know about River, and nobody beyond the Rim planets knows about the bugs," she replied. "If you really wanted to start a revolution, you'd have had Mr. Universe, I don't know, order the beetles to dance the tango and broadcast it across the Cortex to prove what the Alliance had done."

She was right on that point, and he said as much.

"Then next time that's what we'll do."

"Next time?" she repeated.

"We're gonna stumble across somethin' else they done, Inara. It's inevitable," Mal said. "And we'll do it right. If the bugs ain't enough to start a revolution, then the next thing will be."

"This is all a lot of ifs and maybes," she said delicately.

"Can't you wait just a bit? See if one of those ifs or maybes comes true?" he asked.

It was the closest he'd come to pleading with her, and he could see her struggling to come up with an answer.

"What if it doesn't come, but I don't have the strength to leave anymore?" she asked.

Her voice was tremulous and quiet, barely above a whisper, as if the very thought of it was too terrifying to speak aloud. He knew that she was proud of her position. He knew that she was taught not to rely on others, especially not men, to provide for her what she could prove for herself. He knew that she melded better in the sophisticated world of Sihnon than she did on any backwoods moon. But it didn't have to be her on _his_ ship. It could be _their_ ship. It could be _their_ life.

He couldn't stand to see the indecision in her eyes, so he leaned forward across the table.

"Would that be so bad?" he asked.

She let out a shaky breath, but she didn't pull away. Her eyes flashed down to his lips, and before she could think too much about what he _might_ do, he did it.

His lips met hers, and he saw stars just before he squeezed his eyes shut. She was too far away, and it was awkward with the table between them, her sitting, and him half-standing. But he forgot about all of that when he felt her respond, her lips moving slowly against his. He reached out to thread his fingers through her dark hair, and very gently, he parted his lips. Before he could do anything else, she pulled back.

He heard the chair scrape against the floor, and by the time he realized what had just happened, she was halfway across the room, eyes full of tears and trained on the floor.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I just can't," she gasped.

He didn't say a word. He just stood by and watched her go.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> fā kuáng = crazy
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes: Oh, Mal and Inara. They break my heart, but they are extremely fun to write. What did you think?


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: There is some explicit sexual content in this chapter. It's definitely not smutty enough to earn it an Mature or Explicit rating, but I'm guessing it's a bit closer to R-rated than PG-13.

 

 

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

The Doctor fairly stumbled out of the kitchen. He made his way to the only room that might be empty now; the engine room. Inara said that Kaylee was in her shuttle with Simon, and sure enough, he found the warm room uninhabited. He leaned back against the curved metal wall and slid down it until he was seated, long legs splayed out in front of him like a child.

It was embarrassing, how easily flustered he was by the mere mention of Rose now. But flustered wasn't really the right word, because it implied a sort of lighthearted fumbling. There wasn't anything lighthearted about what the Doctor was feeling. This was full-blown torment. He'd gone and done something he'd never done with another companion. Now he had to figure out what exactly to do next.

He'd kissed her. And not just once either. There was no mistaking his intentions, no taking them back. And the thought of that terrified him, because all the same complications were still there. He saw her being pulled into the Void some time in the future, and he had no way of stopping it.

And now she was waiting downstairs. In _their_ room. In their _bed_. Waiting for him to come and…

But she had given him an easy out, if he chose to take it. She told him that it was up to him whether or not he joined her tonight. She said that either way they'd be back in the TARDIS tomorrow. He knew what she meant. They could go back to the way things were. She wasn't going to push him. That was something.

But it wasn't anything, really. Because he didn't want to go back to the way things were. He wasn't even sure he could. How could he hold her close again and not dip down to capture her lips with his?

"This is very problematic," a female voice stated.

The Doctor looked up to see River clutching at the doorframe. She seemed to be holding on for dear life, despite the fact that _Serenity_ had broken through Paquin's atmosphere several minutes ago, and it'd been smooth flying ever since.

"What's problematic, River?" he asked.

She pinned him with a look of deep disappointment, and he felt very much like a child who had just given the professor a wrong answer in class.

"Can't you feel it?" she asked.

The Doctor squinted at her, trying to discern her meaning. He knew now that River's ramblings were never nonsense. So if the girl was trying to tell him that something was awry, he was going to do his best to figure out what it was.

"I'm sorry, I can't. What should I feel?" he asked.

She let out a frustrated sigh, but carefully unwound her arms from the doorway. She took a moment to steady herself, holding out her hands for balance, before taking a few tentative steps into the engine room. She toddled like a child, but she spoke as she moved, and her words sounded anything but childish.

"You should know, Lord of Time. Thoughts so attached to the Bad Wolf that you can't tell the universe has shifted. The stream of blue twists and turns and branches off from itself, multiplying in ways that not even you can predict." She ended with a familiar refrain. "It's problematic."

He was about to ask her what was so problematic about it, when she lost her footing and tumbled forward. She was close enough to him that he was able to lunge upwards and catch her in his arms. Rather than attempting to stand, he pulled her down next to him.

"It's problematic for balance," she clarified.

He sat absolutely still for a moment and opened his senses. He heard the hum of the engine, felt the rumbling of a thousand moving parts propelling them through space, tasted the faint ion residue produced by breaking through the atmosphere. But there was nothing that should throw a teenaged girl to the ground.

Suddenly, slender fingers closed around his arm in a fierce grip. He looked at River in alarm, and she stared back with wide eyes.

"Can't you feel it? Everything's changed," she whispered.

He knew that she was trying her hardest to be understood, and he ran through her words again in his mind to meet her halfway. _Universe shifted, stream of blue energy branching off, everything's changed._

He inhaled sharply as her meaning finally hit him. He clenched his eyes shut and opened his senses again, not the boring five that humans have, but the dozens ingrained in Gallifreyan physiology.

And then he _did_ feel it.

There wasn't any such thing as fate; the Doctor knew that. But there were fixed events in time and space. Usually they were the big ones: Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo, the assassination of Caesar on the Ides of March, the invention of the waffle cone; those sorts of things. But there were also tiny events within an individual person's life that were just as immovable; events like the death of Rose's father when she was a baby.

It was like every person goes through life inside the tube of a waterslide, and occasionally they come upon a junction in the tube with a multitude of options, sometimes infinite. They drift towards one open tube or another either through direct choice or simply because they are pushed ahead by a combination of factors in their lives, and on they go. When it comes to a fixed event, there is no junction; only hard plastic tubing all around and rushing water from behind, forcing a person down one specific path.

But the Doctor could feel now that the future had changed. Not in the usual way, with big events. Usually it worked something like this: Go back in time, meet Charles Dickens, change the man's outlook on life, but then he dies before he can put that change to good use in ways that will change the biographies you've read on him in the future.

This was different. This was distinct. This was all about _them_ , the people on this ship. _Serenity_ was in a waterslide and everyone in it was about to have some new options. The physical properties of the tube changed and allowed the hard plastic to shift. Junctions were appearing where they never existed before, sometimes for the group as a whole, and sometimes for the individual passengers. Although, that really didn't mesh with the metaphor.

All right, so it really wasn't like a waterslide at all, but it was the best way he'd come up with to temporalize it for normal human comprehension.

"You were never meant to come here," River said, her voice low and solemn.

"The TARDIS brought me here. She never makes a mistake. Well, not a mistake that she didn't intend," the Doctor amended.

"This wasn't written in the stars, but now it is, burning, permanent, and it changes everything. Things have started much sooner than they were meant to," she went on.

He could feel that too. The revelation of the beetles, the riots on Paquin, even the kiss. It was all too soon. But 'too soon' was a relative term and it no longer applied. Now all of those things had happened at exactly the appropriate time, and everything to follow was slightly different. Like a wormhole connecting two tubes of the waterslide through a shortcut that hadn't been there before.

His brain faltered again. Okay, scratch the waterslide metaphor completely. It was much bigger than that, now. He could see the vortex molding and shifting like a Rubik's Cube made of rising bread dough, messily and without any discernible pattern.

The next logical question hit him with earth-shaking force.

"River, can you still see it? The vision that you showed me of the Void?"

River paused. Her eyes moved to the ceiling as she searched her thoughts. Then her eyes were back on his, and she said one word.

"No."

He wanted to leap up and run about the room. He wanted to gather River up in a tight hug and shout joyfully at the top of his lungs. He wanted to be with Rose, right this very instant. For all he knew, he could step out of the TARDIS next week, slip on a banana peel and regenerate into a hideous old man with warts on his toes. But the Void was no longer inevitable, and the relief of that was enough. It was.

He was on his feet and out the door before he realized that he'd left River behind. He poked his head back around the corner and saw her, standing warily, clutching at steel beam for balance.

"Go," she said, waving him off. "Tomorrow, Miranda."

He blinked in surprise. That she would trust him to share this, her most feared memory, was something he hadn't quite believed would happen.

"Tomorrow?" he repeated.

She nodded and made her way to the hammock. She stumbled like a baby fawn learning to walk, but lifted herself into the fabric swing without too much trouble.

"Tonight you have other things to do," she said, closing her eyes.

The Doctor's breathing sped up, but he managed to keep his voice even when he replied.

"Yes, I suppose I do."

It was amazing that he didn't trip over his trainers as he raced down the stairs. He noted with vague curiosity that the last few notes of Beethoven's _Für Elise_ were drifting out from Inara's shuttle, but he didn't give it a second thought. He needed Rose. Now.

He passed Shepherd Book and Jayne in the cargo bay, and bounded down the steps to the guest wing. In another second, he was in front of their door. The door was made of a kind of light-diffusing plastic that emulated the rice-paper walls of traditional Japanese dwellings. He could tell from the outline of the shapes that Rose was in bed and that the light above the desk had been left on.

What he couldn't tell was whether she was awake. Was she lying there, staring at his outline on the other side of the door, holding her breath like he was? Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and opened the door.

She was asleep.

He had to admit he _had_ taken an awfully long time to make his way down there. She might have tried to stay awake, but it was a long day, and just getting out of her green ball gown must have taken considerable energy. He smiled when he saw her choice of attire. Kaylee's cartoon pajamas swallowed her up. She hadn't pulled on one of the tank tops that River had lent her, or stripped down to nothing at all and slip under the covers. His Rose would never be so presumptuous.

She was wonderful, and he'd be damned if he was going to let her continue to snooze there and not tell her that.

"Rose," he said softly.

She shifted slightly, stretching her limbs out to take up even more of the bed, something he didn't think was possible.

"Rose," he repeated.

She inhaled deeply and her eyes flew open. When she caught sight of him, she sat up abruptly, supporting her weight on her elbows.

"I thought you weren't coming," she said.

He felt a pang of warmth rush down to his belly at the huskiness of her voice, rough from sleep. The power of it shocked him. He hadn't felt his way in lifetimes. In fact, he wasn't sure that he had ever felt quite this way.

"Doctor?"

He realized that he was still standing in the doorway, and she was still waiting for him to say something. Letting out a shaky breath, he stepped inside and slid the door shut behind him.

"I'm here," he said.

"I can see that," she noted.

He toed out of his trainers and left them at the foot of the bed. Then he pulled his suit jacket off and draped it over the desk chair. He could feel Rose's eyes on him, waiting for him to say something, but he remained silent.

How did one start a conversation in this case? He had no idea. He'd never done this with a human before. Perhaps norms here were something other than what he expected. Back on Gallifrey, it was all very clinical: _Shall we perform coitus in order to produce offspring now? Yes. Excellent. Commence with the disrobing._ And then there was no need for sex at all, with the advent of the looms. He knew that humans were different, and he'd seen enough romantic films to know the gist. But when it came down to it, he was as nervous as… well, as a virgin, he supposed.

"So, are you just here to do some work, or sleep, or…"

She swallowed the rest of her sentence, nervously toying with the edge of the blanket. All of her calm bravado from the cargo bay seemed to have abandoned her, and he didn't want to see her suffer in anxiety for a moment longer.

"I'm here because I want to be with you," he said honestly.

"Oh," she whispered. She pulled herself up against the headboard so that she was seated upright.

For someone who talked nonstop, his gob was certainly failing him now. So instead of speaking, he moved to the bed and sat on the edge of it. He reached for her, his hands seeming to move on their own accord, until he was cupping her face. He heard her release a shaky breath, and her eyes darted down to his lips. Taking his cue from her, he slowly brought his face down to hers. Their eyes met once more. There were no goofy grins, just a quiet moment to acknowledge that this was really happening.

He moved closer, and they both shut their eyes. His lips met hers in the chastest of kisses. His fingers slid through her hair, which was, thankfully, down from its pins. She tilted her head and pulled back the tiniest bit. His eyes started to flutter open, but before he could open them completely, she brought her lips up to his again, slanting them to cover just his lower lip. She sucked it gently into her mouth, and the sensation was enough to make him gasp.

She took the opportunity to cover his mouth completely, and before he could think twice about his actions, his tongue was running along the seam of her lips. She opened her mouth to give him access, and he greedily took it. His tongue explored her mouth, causing her to make the most delicious noises in the back of her throat. He doubted they would be audible to a human male, but they made his blood pound in his veins.

He felt light pressure on his chest. It took him a moment to realize that she was working the buttons on his vest, but once his brain caught up to his eyes, he reached down to help her. This required removing his hands from her hair, but it was a small sacrifice, and in seconds the garment was unfastened. He slipped it off his shoulders and let her push it the rest of the way to the floor. When his hands moved to his tie, she pulled back and stopped him.

"No, don't," she murmured.

He froze. With a rush of panic, he wondered if he'd somehow misinterpreted things. It didn't seem like there was any other way _to_ interpret what had happened, but he'd never claim to understand humans.

"I've fantasized about doing that for ages. I won't have you doing it for yourself," she explained.

A smile appeared on his face. He dropped his hands to his sides and watched as she replaced them with her own. She started on the knot, and he couldn't help himself.

"Fantasized for ages, have you?" he said smugly.

She tugged the knot loose and glanced up at him, frowning at his smirk.

"You shouldn't test the woman who currently has a silk noose around your neck," she warned him.

"If you want to take your chances that I won't regenerate into a hideous blobby lump, go ahead" he teased back.

She pulled the two ends of the tie apart and slid it from his neck.

"I loved you with big ears and that daft nose, didn't I?"

He frowned.

"Oi, that was a classical roman nose! That nose was brilliant."

He was pouting, and he knew it. But she wasn't having any of it. Her hands were at his face, forcing him to look at her.

"It _was_ brilliant. But I don't care. You could look hideous and blobby, and I'd still love you," she said.

Her thumbs gently rubbed up and down his sideburns. She shocked him, the way she'd so casually dropped that word twice now. Did she expect him to return it? Should he? His heart jumped and his nerves abandoned him. He was so desperate not to ruin this, but it was inevitable, wasn't it? He wasn't human. He didn't _dance_ , no matter what his ninth self had told her. He wanted her, badly, but he was going to say the wrong thing.

"I'm not going to lose you," he said.

The words surprised him. They surprised her too, by the looks of things. Her thumbs stopped moving and that wrinkle appeared between her brows.

"Of course not," she said.

He took a second to steady his breathing, and then he explained.

"I mean it. Something fundamental changed in our timeline. The thing that River showed me, it's not fixed anymore. You're safe."

She gave him a sad smile then, and he was confused by it.

"I'm not safe, Doctor. I'm still mortal," she said.

He shook his head.

"I'd never let anything—"

She stopped him with a finger on his lips.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she said. "You need to accept it. I won't be around forever."

He shook his head again, and started to speak.

"No, I—"

"Shhh," she stopped him again. "You've promised me the moon and the stars and adventure, and you've delivered on all of it. You can't promise me eternal life too."

Her fingers were stroking the sides of his face, and she brought her forehead to his. She spoke in a whisper, still stroking him as she would an anxious child.

"It's okay. Doctor, it doesn't mean that this isn't right. No relationship lasts forever. But you can't go on lying to yourself. When I'm gone—"

"Rose, no—"

"—When I'm gone," she continued over him. "I need to know that you'll be okay. And you won't be okay if you go on pretending that that moment's never going to come."

She pulled back slightly to look at him, but her hands continued their gentle ministrations.

"I know it's hard. But it's worth it, isn't it?"

He stared. He'd been so overjoyed by the knowledge that she wasn't going to be lost to the Void that he'd allowed himself to forget that eventually he would lose her to _something_.

He couldn't find the words that she wanted to hear, couldn't admit aloud yet that he was going to lose her someday, that he would have to _let her_ die. So instead, he closed his eyes and nodded his head. He was rewarded with a kiss, and he felt her hands move down to the buttons on his shirt as her lips continued to move softly over his.

She opened his shirt and slid it off his lanky frame. She reached for the button on his trousers, but he stopped her. He was naked now from the waist up, and she was still covered in cartoon pajamas. It hardly seemed fair.

He reached for the buttons on her top, but she shook her head, smiling at him. He obediently pulled his hands away, but gave her a curious look. In one quick motion, she pulled the top off over her head and threw it to the side.

"So you get to undo my buttons, but I don't get any of my own fun?" he asked, but his heart wasn't in it.

He tried to fix her with a pout, but it was impossible to keep his eyes from her chest now that it was exposed. He'd never been particularly fixated on human breasts. They were simple mammalian glands that excreted nutrition for offspring. They weren't even unique to humans. Pigs had eighteen of them, so shouldn't they been seen as the sexiest of all the mammals? It had always struck him as such an odd sexual fixation.

But now, seeing Rose's nude form, he was beginning to understand it. There was a specific beauty to the delicate swelling of a woman's body. To watch her, hair mussed, lips reddened, tiny goose bumps standing out on her flesh in anticipation of his touch, he understood it completely. He had never wanted another being so badly in his long life.

He reached for the drawstring on her bottoms and she lifted her bum to help him slide them off her legs. Without hesitation he reached back up and did the same with her simple cotton briefs. He stood back to stare again, not bothering to hide his appreciation. She indulged him in his visual exploration, lying still for him. But after a few seconds, she grew impatient and reached once more for the button on his trousers.

He allowed her to unfasten them and stood to let them drop to his ankles. He toed them off, along with his socks, and then his thumbs went to the band of his pants and tugged them down as well.

Kicking them off as he moved, he covered her body with his. His mouth found hers immediately. His hands were occupied holding some of his weight off of her, but her hands freely wandered his body. He jumped a bit when her fingers skimmed down his ribs and felt her chuckle into his mouth.

Two could play at this game, he decided. Without warning, he slid hands under her shoulders and rolled them over so that she was on top of him, loving her little yelp of surprise.

This was much better, he decided as Rose settled her knees on either side of his hips. He could feel her above him, her heat radiating down on him. He resisted the urge to strain up against her and instead enjoyed the new freedom of his hands. He slid them up from her waist to her ribs and rested them there. Glancing up at her face, he saw that her eyes were closed, her back arched in pleasure at the sensation, and he felt that gave him permission to go further. He brought his hands down to her breasts and relished in the soft gasp that escaped her lips. He gave them another caress before easing up to capture the tip of one in his mouth. He was rewarded with another gasp, and he pulled away to enjoy the look on her face.

"Don't know what I was thinking. Human breasts are amazing. Pigs have got nothing on you," he intimated.

Her eyes snapped open then, and to his surprise, she burst out laughing. Her laughter shook her entire frame, unintentionally bumping parts of her body into his again and again. He was left trying to figure out whether he was more aroused or insulted.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked.

"Are you serious?" she asked, through her giggles. Off his confused look, she continued. "You just expressed shock that my breasts are more pleasing than a sow's!" she guffawed.

He blinked. He hadn't thought of it that way, of course. He risked a small chuckle.

"Wrong thing to say?" he ventured.

"Oh, not at all! I'm relieved to know that I rank slightly higher than Miss Piggy," she exclaimed, grinning.

"Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"Don't be. You're mad, and I love it," she said before pressing her lips to his again.

His hand left her breasts and found her hair again. He indulged in a serious bit of snogging, letting out a moan of his own that he would have found embarrassing if he wasn't suddenly taken off guard by the feel of her grinding down on a certain part of his lower anatomy. Then, just as suddenly, she pulled away and fixed him with a look of alarm.

"Hang on," she blurted out, slightly breathless. "Do you have protection?"

He was taken aback by the question.

"Why? Did Mickey give you an STD?"

She jerked back even further.

"What? No, of course not! Why would you think that?" she demanded.

"Why else would you need protection? Surely you don't think _I_ have anything," he replied reasonably.

"Well, I mean, it's not like I'm still on the pill. Trying to keep on that regularly on the TARDIS is impossible. Can't tell when an Earth day has passed, and I'm convinced that time travel does something funny to my hormones anyway."

He stared at her blankly, and she faltered a bit.

"I mean—I just assumed—is it even possible for me to get pregnant?"

His eyebrows shot up in comprehension.

"Oh! Is that what you're worried about?" he asked.

She squinted at him, as if to say, 'What _else_ would I be worried about?'

"It is possible, but not right now. You're not fertile at the moment," he said matter-of-factly.

If anything, she looked even more confused by his response.

"You keep track of when I'm fertile?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied cheerfully. "Can't help it. Time Lord senses."

The wrinkle between her brows deepened.

"And they can't be wrong, these Time Lord senses? No chance of a, uh, happy little accident?" she asked.

" _Wellll_ , I suppose there's a slight chance—"

"Maybe someone in the crew has a condom?" she interrupted.

The Doctor squinted up at Rose, bewildered by her sudden anxiety. He could be certain within 99.99% that she wasn't capable of conceiving at the moment, and yet she seemed entirely unconvinced. He tried to figure out who was most likely to carry condoms, and the name that sprung to the top of the list was Jayne. He did not enjoy the idea of knocking on Jayne Cobb's door to ask for contraceptives.

"The sonic screwdriver!" he exclaimed.

"What about it?" she asked.

"In my jacket pocket, get it," he gestured to the desk chair where his jacket was draped.

She reached over without getting off of him, and came back with the small silver tool.

"Setting 2338," he said.

She twisted the sonic and waited for further instruction.

"Mammal fertility detector," he proudly announced.

She seemed dumbstruck, so he took the sonic from her and gave her a quick scan. The blue light gave her pale skin a strange look. A second later, he showed her the readout.

"See? Not fertile right now," he proclaimed.

To his surprise, she didn't look impressed, or even relieved. She looked suspicious.

"The sonic has a mammal fertility detection setting?" she asked. "When have you ever needed that before?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," he said offhandedly.

She arched an eyebrow.

"I bet I would."

He sensed something suggestive in her tone, and rushed to correct any misinterpretations.

"Did I mention it works on _all_ mammals? Never had to use it on a human before. Many species have fertility issues and sometimes they require the expertise of—"

"A Doctor?" she suggested.

He glanced up and saw her smirk. So, she didn't think he'd been hopping around all of time and space trying to impregnate women. That was good. Also good was the fact that she no longer seemed so nervous about the issue of protection.

"Tease," he chided. Then showing her the sonic readout once more he asked, "Are you satisfied now?"

If anything, her smirk only grew. She pulled the sonic from his grasp and laid it carefully on the floor. Then she settled her weight back onto him, increasing the pressure where their bodies touched.

"Not even close," she said, grinning.

He grinned back and reached for her at the exact same moment that she leaned down. Their lips met in a bruising kiss. He could feel all of the heat from her body as if she was on fire. Any arousal that had dissipated during their discussion of contraception was back in full force. He needed her. Now.

His tongue found hers and she moaned into his mouth. He took her distraction as the perfect opportunity to flip their positions again. She didn't seem to mind the change. She kept right on kissing him while her hands found his shoulders and traced the lines of his muscles. They trailed down his back until she reached the curve of his ass, and then, to his surprise, she gave him a two-handed squeeze.

"I love this bum," she murmured into the kiss.

He smiled against her mouth and pulled back enough to murmur back.

"Cassandra was right."

"Hmm?" she mumbled.

He pulled back a little more and gave her a wink.

"You've been looking. You _do_ think I'm a little bit foxy."

She arched an eyebrow again.

"You really think now's the best time to bring up another woman? In bed?" she asked.

He squinted down at her.

"You can't tell me you're jealous of a flap of skin. A _dead_ flap of skin."

She shrugged.

"I don't know. You're the man who was just weighing the sexual attractiveness of pigs versus humans."

She tried to give him an irritated glare, but she couldn't quite hide her smile. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. Then another one to her nose. Two more, one on each corner of her mouth. Then, finally, a gentle press against her lips.

"I'm mad about you, Rose Tyler, and only you," he breathed.

"Really?" she sighed happily.

"Really," he confirmed, kissing her again.

When he pulled back she spoke again.

"Not 18th century French aristocrats?"

This time the kiss was much slower. He opened his mouth against hers, and his tongue lazily explored hers before he replied. He was pleased to see that when he pulled away, she looked thoroughly dazed.

"No one else."

He started trailing kisses down to her chin, then her neck. His lips followed the path down past her clavicles, between her breasts, straight to the dip of her belly button. She involuntarily arched up to meet him when his lips traveled further south, his breath hot against her skin.

Then he stopped. He waited for her to react, and soon enough she inched back onto her elbows to look at him.

"And you?" he asked, his mouth hovering over her skin. "No other pretty boys?"

She shook her head with a hint of impatience.

"None."

He tilted his head to the side.

"And what about our friend Jayne?"

She reached down with both hands and buried her fingers in his hair, using her purchase there to pull him back up to her face.

"Shut it," she growled, just before she claimed his lips with her own.

He did as he was told, for once, and stopped talking. Their eyes slipped shut as they moved together. How he'd functioned without her in the past, he'd never know, but right now, with her clinging to him, breath coming in soft pants against his ear, he knew that this was right. Finally, the terrible ache of loneliness that he'd come to regard as an essential piece of him was gone. He'd never felt so complete.

When they finally parted, she kept her arms wrapped around him.

"I love you," she whispered.

She had her chin on his chest, and her eyes, half-lidded as sleep took hold, were on his face.

"Quite right, too," he said breathlessly.

She smiled, and he felt something in his chest unwind. It was enough for her, it seemed. He was enough for her. With all of his limitations and complications, they could do this. He gathered her into his arms, and held her while she fell asleep.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… that was my first attempt at writing that sort of a scene. I tried to keep the focus on the emotional impact of things, and I hope I succeeded. Please let me know what you think of the chapter as a whole!


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

 

  
**Chapter Twenty-Four**

Rose awoke to the sound of a distant drumbeat. It was faint and muffled, but it was definitely there, some sort of tribal rhythm in double time. She vaguely wondered why a drum circle had sprung up around her, when something moved across her back. She tensed and awoke completely, drawing in a sharp breath. When her eyes popped open, she saw pale skin with freckles, and everything came back to her.

There was no drum circle. She had fallen asleep in the Doctor's arms, arms that were still wrapped around her, and the rhythm was the dual beating of his hearts. Unsure whether his arms had tightened around her in sleep or if he was watching her, she inched her chin upwards to catch a peek at his face.

"He's asleep," a female voice spoke up.

Rose yelped and clutched the blankets to her chest. She twisted around to see River perched on the desk beside them. And perched was the right word. She was balanced on her heels, toes curled over the edge of the tabletop, crouching with her knees against her chest, peering at them.

When she felt like she was capable of drawing in breath again, Rose rasped out, "River! What are you doing in here?"

River continued to peer at her calmly, as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"I have business with the Doctor, Bad Wolf," she replied evenly.

Rose glanced down at the Doctor, but he was, remarkably, still asleep. She carefully shifted up so that she was seated with her back against the headboard, and considered the teenager's words.

"Why do you call me that?" she asked curiously.

"Why do you call me River?" the girl returned.

Rose squinted at her.

"Because it's your name," she said with a patient smile.

"My given name. Given to me by others. But Bad Wolf is the name you gave yourself," River declared.

Rose was taken aback by the certainty in her voice, and when she replied, her voice sounded surprisingly unsure to her own ears.

"No, I didn't. I go by Rose. Always have."

"You just don't remember. He took it away," River said, nodding at the sleeping form between them.

Rose nearly shivered. Why did the teenager sound so eerily certain? The Doctor would never erase her memories. She fell silent, unable to come up with a response. She would have to ask the Doctor about all of this later. It was easy to dismiss River's ravings as gibberish, but the Doctor always seemed to see the truth behind her words. She looked down again at the man in question.

"It's so unusual for him to sleep like this. Or at all," she mused.

"You tired him out, Bad Wolf," River said.

Rose blushed.

"I guess I did." She pulled the sheet up a little more. "River, maybe you could come back a little later, yeah?"

River straightened up and scowled.

"I told you I have business with him."

Rose glanced again at the Doctor's naked torso.

"Yeah, so do I," she murmured.

"Oh," River exclaimed.

Rose snapped out of her reverie and glanced up at the teenager, whose eyes were suddenly wide with understanding. It occurred to Rose that maybe River genuinely had no idea what was so awkward about appearing in their bedroom with the two of them naked under the covers until this very moment.

"Look, it's fine, yeah?" she hurried to assure the girl. "Could you hand me something out of that drawer to put on?"

She gestured to the built in shelves beside the desk. River unfurled herself from her perch and stood on the edge of the desk. She bent like a circus contortionist and reached the drawer halfway across the room without losing her footing. She returned to Rose's side with the same simple pink dress that Kaylee had lent her on their first day. When Rose reached out for it, however, River dropped the dress and grasped her left wrist.

Rose froze, wary and unsure of the girl's intense focus.

"I'm sorry," River whispered.

It was only then that Rose realized River meant her injury. She looked at her bandaged hand and shook her head.

"I'm all right. I know you didn't mean to hurt me," Rose said kindly.

River stared wordlessly at Rose. Then, without any reply, River released her wrist, stooped to retrieve the dress, and placed it in Rose's lap.

Rose nodded by way of saying thanks. When she shifted to pull the garment over her head, she felt the Doctor's arm, which was still strewn across her middle, tighten.

"Mmph? No, what are you doing?" he grunted into his pillow.

Rose smiled.

"Getting dressed. Doctor, we—"

He cut her off immediately, dragging her closer to him so that he could rest his cheek on her thigh.

"Getting _dressed_? What kind of rubbish idea is that? I mean, honestly Rose, normally you are just spot on with ideas. Trapped in a World War II hospital with nano-gened zombies closing in on all sides? Shoot a squareness gun at the floor for a quick getaway—brilliant. But _this_? This has to be one of your worst."

Rose squirmed away and tapped him on the head.

"Doctor, we have company."

The Doctor's head shot up.

"What?" His eyes landed on the teenaged girl on the desk. "Oh! Yes, hello, River!"

"Hello," River replied.

The Doctor sat up, tucking the sheet carefully around his waist, giving Rose the chance to pull the dress on.

"I'm terribly sorry. I didn't know she'd be calling quite so early," he said.

"It was fine. River and I were having a very interesting conversation about my nickname, actually," Rose said cheerfully.

"Your nickname?" the Doctor asked, giving her a curious smile.

God, the things that smile did to her. She was so relieved that he wasn't acting like a madman, jumping about to pull his clothes back on and babbling about responsibility and trying to pretend that last night never happened. It was almost enough to make her forget that they were still in bed with a mentally unstable teenager staring them down. She leaned back and explained, her tone light with amusement.

"'Bad Wolf.' Apparently I gave it to myself. Do you know anything about that?"

She winked at the Doctor, silently asking him to play along for the girl's benefit. But to her surprise, the Doctor's smile disappeared, and he nervously cleared his throat.

"Right, yes, Bad Wolf. Wouldn't you rather have a shower first? River and I have some—"

"Business, I know," she supplied for him. She frowned. "Are you saying I smell?"

The Doctor pressed on in a practical tone of voice.

"Well, of course you _smell_ , Rose. Everybody smells."

Rose arched an eyebrow at that.

"Are you saying I smell _bad_?"

When the Doctor floundered mutely, trying to discern an answer that would remove him from this trap, and Rose couldn't help but smirk. His shoulders sagged slightly in relief.

"You're just trying to torture me, aren't you?" he asked.

She grinned openly now.

"Maybe."

He bent to capture her lips in a kiss, and she wasn't entirely sure that time didn't stand still.

"Inara has a tub. And she wants to speak with you."

Rose pulled away, realizing that time hadn't stopped and neither had the teenaged girl.

"Oh. O-okay," she stammered.

Pulling herself to the edge of the bed, she straightened up as modestly as possible, smoothing out the bottom half of her dress.

"I'll leave you two to your mysterious business," she said lightly.

The Doctor smiled pleasantly, but River remained as intense as ever. Shrugging her shoulders, Rose slipped past both of them and out of the room.

She felt a little scandalous, padding barefoot through the ship in the early morning hours in nothing but a thin sundress, looking thoroughly shagged. Luckily, there was no one about yet. When she reached Inara's shuttle, she paused, worried that maybe River was mistaken and the Companion was still asleep, but she gave the door a very cautious knock anyway. She was rewarded when, a few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal Inara, still fully dressed in her sapphire ball gown and looking very much awake.

"Rose, good morning," she said pleasantly.

Rose smiled a little nervously.

"Good morning. River mentioned that you had a washtub. And that you wanted to talk to me?" she said.

Inara stared blankly for just a second too long, and Rose realized that the Companion had told the young girl no such thing.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she continued hastily. "She must have been mistaken. I'll just—"

"No, no," Inara interrupted, ushering Rose inside. "I _have_ been wanting to talk to you. It's just that I never said anything to River." She paused. "Although I suppose it shouldn't surprise me that she knew."

Rose stepped inside the velvet-draped room and surveyed her surroundings. Aside from the walls, everything was noticeably bare.

"Oh! I forgot that you moved your stuff out on Persephone. I can use the showers downstairs," she said.

But Inara was already gesturing for her to follow as she moved to the rear of the shuttle. Behind a heavy curtain was a modest bathroom with a compact porcelain tub.

"I didn't bring everything with me. They'll have bathing amenities on Sihnon, so I decided it was silly to bring it all with me, including the sofa and the bed. I was going to leave the tub for Kaylee," she explained.

Rose considered her words.

"Was?" she prompted.

Inara paused for a moment, but gracefully resumed her movements, pulling various bathing accessories from a small cupboard.

"I need to prepare the water," she said. "Feel free to wait on the sofa."

She turned back to the tub and Rose took her cue to go back into the main room. She settled onto the curved sofa, but it wasn't long before Inara padded back into the room.

"It's still filling up, but it'll be ready in moments."

Rose nodded, and Inara sat beside her.

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" Rose prompted after a prolonged silence.

Inara smiled and directed her gaze down at her hands. Her long, dark lashes fluttered prettily against her skin, and Rose found herself wondering once again how it must feel to be so effortlessly beautiful.

"Your relationship with the Doctor…" Her voice trailed off and Rose raised her eyebrows, awaiting the question. "Would you say it's a partnership?" Inara asked finally.

Rose blinked.

"Of course," she replied, wondering where this was going.

"It's just…" Inara paused again. "Mal wants me to stay."

Rose couldn't hide her reaction. Her eyes widened and she stared.

"Like, _with_ him? Together?" she prompted.

Inara nodded.

"Well, that's brilliant!" Rose grinned. "I mean, a bit unexpected, if I'm being honest. He doesn't strike me as a flowers-and-chocolates kind of guy, but yeah, I guess I can see it now that you say something."

Inara shook her head, looking down.

"I didn't say yes."

"What? Why not?" Rose asked.

"I'll check on the bath," Inara said, excusing herself apologetically.

She disappeared through the curtains again, leaving Rose to ponder Inara's bombshell. Mal didn't seem like much of a romantic to her. From what she'd seen of him, he was a good captain, but he was hardly what one would call cuddly. His mind seemed permanently focused on trade and survival, and she couldn't picture him on a date.

"Rose, it's ready," Inara called from the other room.

She followed the Companion's voice through the curtain and found her adding some clear liquid from a glass vial to the water.

"Thanks for this. It'll feel fantastic to have a real bath," Rose said earnestly.

"Let's pin your hair back," the Companion said, sweeping Rose's blond tresses back without waiting for a response.

Rose felt Inara tie her hair back with something unseen, and then she was in front of Rose again.

"It smells wonderful," Rose commented, inhaling the steam that drifted up from the tub.

"The water is infused with lavender oil and cocoa butter," Inara explained, handing over a sponge.

The Companion moved to lean against the doorframe, and Rose realized that she wasn't going to leave the room. She'd been on planets without taboos on nudity before, so it was fairly easy to take in stride. Slipping out of her dress, she stepped carefully into the tub. As she soaked the sponge and ran it down her arms, she sighed happily. The lavender scent was divine, and the water's warmth soothed her aching muscles. She had completely forgotten that Inara was still in the room until she spoke again.

"I'm not sure which path is the right one," the Companion said wearily.

It was the first time Rose heard anything other than confidence and grace in the woman's tone. She sounded frustrated. Lost.

"Well, do you like him?" Rose asked, moving the sponge along her shoulders.

She couldn't see Inara's face, but she heard her shift against the curtains.

"It's complicated," the Companion sighed. "He makes me feel like no man ever has. Like he wants me for the woman I truly am, and not just the woman I let my clients see."

Rose smiled.

"That doesn't sound so complicated to me. That's the way love works. You can't love someone halfway. You have to love the whole person," she said.

"I think that's a bit easier for you to say. The Doctor seems to have an endless supply of good cheer. I think you'll agree that Mal is noticeably different in that regard," Inara said pointedly.

Rose paused with the sponge on her chest.

"He wasn't always this way, you know. The Doctor," she clarified. "He was different when I first met him."

"How different?" Inara asked, skeptical.

"He was an entirely different man," Rose answered honestly. "He was fresh out of war, and he was all hard edges and guilt. So afraid to let anyone see just how damaged he was."

She swished the sponge in the water, considering her old Doctor.

"He could put on a brave face every now and again; play the clown or the hero, as needed. But there was such darkness in him," Rose admitted softly.

She heard Inara take a step closer.

"Mal's the same. He was in the Battle of Serenity Valley," she said. Her tone was so solemn that Rose made a mental note to ask the Doctor about the battle later. "It broke something in him. He's built up this wall around himself; he can't be vulnerable in front of me."

Rose turned her head to see Inara staring plaintively at her.

"How can you decide to be with someone like that?" she asked Rose.

Rose considered the question. She thought back to her blue-eyed Doctor, so sad and defeated when she asked him about the war. ' _I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own because there's no one else._ ' A second later, his shoulders slumped with defeat; he asked her if she wanted to go home, if it was too dangerous for her. And all she could think of in that moment was how much he needed her, and how much _she_ needed adventure.

"It wasn't like that. Not at first. He gave me the chance to see the universe. I was just happy to travel with him. It was more than enough," she replied. She looked back at Inara again. "I mean, isn't that why you rented this shuttle?" she pressed.

"What, to see the universe?" Inara asked.

Rose nodded. "I mean, you could've probably stayed on a nice safe planet like Persephone and still worked as a Companion, right? But serving men like Atherton Wing can't be fulfilling, because instead you chose to come on _this_ ship. You had to have been looking for some adventure," she said.

Finished with the sponge, Rose squeezed it out and set it on the edge of the basin.

"I guess you're right," Inara said, handing Rose a towel before she had the chance to ask for one. Rose stepped out of the tub and wrapped it around herself.

"I probably loved him, even back then, but it wasn't a conscious thing," Rose admitted. "I mean, I had a boyfriend. I had this whole life that he didn't fit into _at all_ , but he was just what I needed. I didn't want to change a thing about him."

"And that's how love works, right? You have to love the whole person?" Inara prompted, her knowing eyes trained on Rose.

Rose sighed and took the clip out of her hair.

"Well, I think those girls who get into relationships thinking they can change their man are crazy. You can't date a fixer-upper. Never works," she said.

"But Mal doesn't love all of me," Inara countered. "He doesn't love my profession. We can't be together if I continue to work as a Companion."

Rose set down the towel and slipped the dress back over her head.

"Yeah, but your job isn't a part of you, right? It's just what you do," she replied.

Inara replied without hesitation.

"It's much more than what I do. It's who I am. Companion is a part of my identity, not just a job title."

If Rose was being honest with herself, she had to admit that she'd been confused by the title 'Companion.' Essentially, it was selling one's body, and that was something that she could never do. But it seemed to be a position of high respect in this universe, and after getting to know Inara, Rose could see why. She was educated, graceful, and kind. Companions were more like geisha girls than the prostitutes in back alleys around the Powell Estate.

"Do you have a profession?"

Inara's question startled Rose out of her train of thought.

"Uh, I did. I guess. If you could call it that," she stammered. "I was just a job, really. I worked in a shop."

Inara nodded, but seemed disappointed. As she followed the woman back out into the main room, Rose suddenly felt disappointed too.

"Never did my A-levels after Jimmy Stone. I just sort of fell into this really dull life. But it was comfortable, and I had good people around me," she said.

"And then the Doctor came along?" Inara asked, arching an eyebrow.

Rose remembered the basement of that department store, living plastic dummies closing in on her. And then his hand appeared, and she took it, and he led her out of that ordinary life.

"Yeah. And now I do things I never dreamed I could," she replied, smiling faintly.

"You feel fulfilled?" Inara asked.

Rose was surprised by the seriousness of Inara's expression.

"Yeah, I do," she answered honestly.

"But do you feel like you live through him?" the Companion pressed.

Rose frowned.

"If anything, I think the Doctor lives through me. He takes me places just to see my reaction. I think he'd be too jaded to enjoy it if he did it all on his own."

"I just mean… Well, you don't have your own profession. And the ship you travel in is the Doctor's, right?" Inara went on.

"Well, yeah, but I've got a key," Rose replied. The response sounded weak, even to her.

"Do you feel like you're his equal? Or is he like the mentor, taking you along from place to place?" Inara prompted.

Rose shook her head.

"No, we're definitely partners. We do it all together," she said firmly. But even as the words came out of her mouth, she wondered about them. The Doctor usually chose their destination, but that was only because she didn't know the universe like he did. But didn't that lend credence to Inara's comparing the Doctor to a mentor?

She frowned, unhappy with this turn in the conversation.

"Look, Inara, I can't tell you what path to take. It's not the same for me. I didn't have the schooling, or a posh job, or anything like that. But I had a life. A real, complete life. I was Rose Tyler: shop girl. That was the sum total of my existence. I was the girl who dropped out of school and wound up in a dead end job, living with her mum and dating a sweet guy with a dead end job of his own. I didn't even want anything more at the time, because I had no idea just how much was out there."

She smiled to herself.

"But then along comes the Doctor, and he offers me this amazing world. I had no idea what I was really capable of before him. It's all new worlds and adventure and danger, all the time."

"But do you still feel like yourself? Or have you lost that person?" Inara asked.

Rose straightened the straps of her dress.

"I gave up everything from my old life to be with him, but I don't regret it for one second. Because even if something happened and I lost him, I could never go back to being that other girl. Being with him has only made me stronger. It's made me into a version of myself I didn't know was possible."

Inara frowned.

"I could never let someone redefine me so completely. It's too much."

"Yeah, but the Doctor's changed as well," Rose said, smiling softly. "The man I first met was lonely and angry and sad. I think I've changed him too. We didn't set out to change each other. It just happened. For the better. I guess that's how you know when it's right, when you make each other better instead of worse."

"It sounds wonderful," Inara said distantly.

Rose shrugged.

"I hope I helped."

"Oh, you have," Inara replied. "You've given me a lot to consider."

Just then there was a knock at the shuttle door. Both women froze, as if they had been caught discussing something scandalous, but a second later the door swung open to reveal Kaylee.

"Oh good! You're both up!" she squealed. "I been dyin' to talk at someone!"

"What happened?" Rose asked, nearly laughing at the mechanic's exuberance. She was frankly relieved to have a distraction from her conversation with Inara.

"Was your date a success, _mei mei_?" Inara asked.

"Date?" Rose pressed, arching an eyebrow.

Kaylee turned as pink as Rose's borrowed dress.

"Inara let me an' Simon use her shuttle last night, 'cause Simon said he wanted to show me a song that the Doctor mentioned a few days back. _Für Elise_ , I think?"

"A very lovely piece," Inara nodded.

"Oh, forget the music! He had his arm around me the whole time!" Kaylee exclaimed.

Rose couldn't suppress a grin. "Did he kiss you?" she asked.

Kaylee's cheeks deepened in color.

"I think he would'a, but River stumbled in like she was seasick or somethin' and Simon had to settle her in for the night." Her smile slipped for a second, but then it was back in full force. "But, oh, Inara! It was like out of a book or somethin'!"

Inara smiled in a knowing way.

"Maybe the next time you two want some time alone, I can watch River. She loves to practice calligraphy with me."

"Oh, she didn't mean any harm. I just ran into her in the hall and she didn't seem to even remember it."

Inara nodded.

"All the same, it might be—"

"River's not with the Doctor anymore?" Rose asked quickly.

Kaylee raised her eyebrows, but didn't call Rose on the abrupt subject change.

"Nope," she said simply.

"Excuse me, then. Kaylee, I'll want all the juicy details before we land on Verbena."

Rose was halfway out the door when she heard Kaylee's excited reply.

"Okay!"

She didn't know why she suddenly felt such urgency, but the talk with Inara had left her unsteady. She just wanted to sit with the Doctor, to have him tell her some ridiculous story about the Frog People of the planet Whizbert and grin at her interruptions. She wanted to be normal with him; well, their version of normal.

She slid open the door to their room and found the Doctor on their bed, staring at her with an expression like they were back on Krop-Tor and _she_ was the black hole.

"Doctor? Are you all right? What happened with River?" she asked uneasily.

The Doctor swallowed hard and looked away. He patted the bed.

"Rose, you should sit down."

Rose frowned and lingered in the doorway.

"Okay, that doesn't sound very reassuring." She tried again. "What's going on?"

"It's time I told you the truth," he said, still staring at the bed.

Rose chanced a few steps into the room.

"About what?" she asked.

His eyes were on her again, but this time instead of fear, she saw grim determination.

"About Bad Wolf."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Mei mei = little sister (a term of endearment)


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you haven’t seen Serenity, be warned that starting with this chapter, there are some spoilers for the movie.

 

   
 **Chapter Twenty-Five**  
   
As soon as Rose disappeared through the doorway, the Doctor felt her loss.  The tiny bed felt large and empty without her in it.  He couldn’t believe he’d slept through the night, and without nightmares.  Granted, it had been a very long time since he’d made love.  Maybe this had been his reaction the last time, and he just couldn’t remember it.  But he highly doubted it.  Sleep without nightmares was a rare and wonderful thing, and rare and wonderful things tended to be directly connected to Rose Tyler.  
   
“I’m ready to show you Miranda.”  
   
The Doctor’s gaze snapped back to River, who was sitting on top of the narrow desk, legs crossed like a monk.   
   
“Excellent!  Right, yes.  Let’s do that then,” he babbled.  
   
It took him a moment to remember that he was naked underneath the simple blanket tucked around his waist, and when he did, he blushed.  
   
“But, um, perhaps I should put on something a little more appropriate.  And less sheet-like.”  
   
River unfolded herself from the furniture and strode purposefully out the door.  
   
“Meet me in my room,” she said as she left.  
   
The Doctor scrambled to pull on his suit as quickly as possible.  He didn’t want to keep River waiting.  She was being so brave, letting him in to see her worst fears.  The suspense of that wasn’t something he wanted to draw out.  
   
He guessed correctly that the room with the open door was hers, and slipped inside.  She was seated on her bed with her back against the wall.  She was staring at her bedspread, her expression obscured by her long hair hanging over her face, but he could tell from the tension of her body that the suspense was indeed taking its toll.  
   
Taking care not to startle her, the Doctor slid the door shut behind him and moved to sit beside her.  Her hands clutched the blanket, and he gently unfurled her fingers until they released the cloth.  He replaced the blanket with his own hands.  Finally, she glanced up at him, looking for all the world like a regular teenaged girl; not a genius, not a warrior, just a frightened child.  
   
“I promise not to hurt you,” he said softly.  
   
She bit her lip and nodded.  Then she gave his hands a reassuring squeeze and slowly lifted them until they rested on her temples.  She met his gave, matching his comforting look with one of steely determination.  She was ready.  Taking a deep breath, he delved once more into her mind.  
   
As before, labyrinthine corridors spread out in every direction.  He looked around and spotted River, but there was something different about her.  She wasn’t the eight-year-old version of herself that he was used to seeing here, but neither was she her normal self.  This girl was somewhere in between; a very young teenager, perhaps.  
   
“It feels different this time,” the young River told him.  
   
The Doctor squinted at her.  
   
“That’s because it is,” he said.  
   
He extended his hand, and she took it without comment.  They both knew where they were headed this time: to the door with the chains.   
   
It was a long walk.  The hallways soared and dipped without warning, sometimes mid-step, as if the walkways themselves were trying to buck their pedestrians off.  But the pair pushed forward without a word to each other.  They were in this together.  They would finish it together.  
   
“There it is,” River whispered.  
   
It stood about ten meters ahead of them, still criss-crossed by heavy steel chains.  The Doctor could feel the fear radiating from his young companion, and he turned to face her.  
   
“You can stay outside.  It might be best,” he told her.  
   
She paused, contemplating his advice.  In the end, however, she moved past him and towards the door.  He followed her until they both stood in front of the metal barrier.  Sounds came from the other side, heavily muffled by the thick steel, but distinct nonetheless.  Screams.  Agonized, primal screams without end.  And emotions as well.  They emanated from the door as clear as day.  Rage, hunger, and madness all mingled together at a frenzied peak, throbbing from behind the door like a tortured heartbeat.   
   
Without warning, the door gave a powerful jolt.  The loud metallic clang caused both of them to jump back.  The Doctor felt his hearts race, and he knew that they had to do this now, before River’s fear magnified any further.  
   
“Open it,” he said.  
   
River stared at him with wide eyes.  She mutely shook her head, and took another step back.  
   
“You don’t have to come in, but it has to be you who opens it.”  
   
He hated himself when he saw the fear reflected in her eyes, but he knew it had to be done.  After a few seconds, River turned back to the door and placed a trembling hand on the knotted chains.  Her fingers squeezed around them, and then, with a feral growl, she pulled.  They ripped as if they were made of paper.  The Doctor knew that they were only a creation of River’s subconscious, but the strength of her determination was no less remarkable.  Without pausing, River gripped the thick metal handle and yanked, and the door swung open.   
   
An impossible rush of wind exited the doorway, nearly blowing them both backwards.  The forceful torrent of air was accompanied by those terrible screams, amplified now without a metal barrier.  The Doctor placed his hands on River’s shoulders, ready to usher her back into the hallway, but she stubbornly refused to budge.  Without a backward glance, she pushed through the wind and the Doctor followed.  
   
 _Silence.  Complete and total silence filled the space.  It was as if they had entered the wrong room.  Then a woman appeared.  She was a hologram. River’s memory wasn’t of an event; it was of a recording of an event._  
   
 _The woman was alone.  She had brown hair pulled back in a ponytail.  She was wearing a jumpsuit and a frown._  
   
 _“These are just a few of the images we've recorded,” the woman said.  As she spoke, holographic images scrolled in front of her.  Close up shots of corpses, of faces rotted away. “And you can see... it isn't what we thought.”_  
   
 _Pictures continued to appear and disappear.  The woman didn’t look at them.  She stared straight ahead, grim and weary._  
   
 _“There's been no war here. And no terraforming event. The environment is stable.”_  
   
 _She paused here, her eyes filling with tears.  Apology.  Regret.  Pain._  
   
 _“It's the Pax.  The G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate that we added to the air processors. It was supposed to calm the population, weed out aggression.”_  
   
 _“Well, it works.” She almost smiled, the kind of smile that comes unbidden to your face after tragedy becomes so overwhelming that you might just as soon burst into laughter as tears.  But the expression faded immediately._  
   
 _“The people here stopped fighting.  And then they stopped... everything else.”_  
   
 _She was awash with grief.  She went on in a daze, as if she couldn’t believe her own words._  
   
 _“They stopped going to work.  They stopped breeding. Talking. Eating.  There's 30 million people here, and they all just let themselves die.”_  
   
 _A monstrous roar ripped through the air, and the woman gasped and glanced somewhere off-screen.  A furious pounding started up, and it became clear she had barricaded herself in a room to record this message._  
   
 _“I have to be quick. About a tenth of a percent of the population had the opposite reaction to the Pax. Their aggressor response increased. Beyond madness. They have become...”_  
   
 _She glanced off-screen again. When she spoke again, her voice had a hysterical tinge to it.  She fought to keep her face even, but it was clear that she was seconds away from breaking down in sobs._  
   
 _“Well, they've killed most of us. And not just killed. They've done things...”_  
   
 _She shook her head, trying to block out the memories._  
   
 _“I won't live to report this, but people have to know. We meant it for the best. To make people safer…”_  
   
 _The sound of screeching metal and pounding increased.  The woman looked off to her right again.  Then came a loud crash._  
   
 _“Oh GOD!” she wailed._  
   
 _She pulled a gun from her pocket and aimed it at the approaching monsters.  With a desperate scream, she shot once.  But she knew it wasn’t enough.  They were still coming.  They had to consume, to destroy, to kill._  
   
 _She turned the gun on herself; closed her eyes, pressed the muzzle to her temple, and squeezed the trigger.  But before she could let off a round, a creature lunged into frame.  There was blood on his face and on his hands, which he closed around her neck as he pulled her to the ground.  She let out an agonized shriek._  
   
 _But the recording didn’t stop.  Dark shapes, men but not men, deformed and beastly, all blood and teeth and wild eyes, fell on her.  They bit and tore and roared in satisfaction when her screams multiplied._  
   
The Doctor snapped out of his horror long enough to see River beside him, pale and quaking with fear.   
   
“That’s enough.  Let’s go,” he said.  
   
Without waiting for a response, he grasped her arm and pulled.  She stumbled after him, and he didn’t stop until they were out of the room.   
   
The scientist’s terrible screams continued, on and on, even after they exited into the hallway.  The Doctor yanked the door shut and pulled back from River’s mind.  
   
They were back on the girl’s bed.  They stared mutely at one another, shaking.  Then River sprung up and ran to the sink in her room.  She vomited.  The Doctor rose and went to her side, placing a soothing hand on her back as she continued to wretch.  He felt like he might throw up himself, but forced himself to remain strong.  
   
“Reavers,” River gasped.  “They made them.”  
   
The Doctor just continued to rub her back, and she wretched again, shuddering.  When she had emptied the contents of her stomach, the Doctor cleaned her up.  Then he searched for a clean washcloth, and, finding one beside the sink, wet it.  He ushered River back to the bed and settled her beneath the covers.  Then he gently pressed the cold cloth to her forehead and gripped her hand.  
   
River closed her eyes, relishing the cool feeling of the wet compress, and the Doctor let his mask fall away.  He too squeezed his eyes shut, letting all the fear and horror rush over him.  He had never encountered reavers, but he knew of them.  Reavers were vicious, mindless beasts that roamed the outer reaches of the universe in this era, searching for victims.  They were known for their brutality, for their complete lack of humanity.  No one quite knew where they came from or what they were, but they were the most feared creatures in this century.   
   
But now he knew exactly where they came from.  And if he had his way, so would everybody else.  Soon.   
   
For River to have held this terrible secret alone was an unbearable thought.  It was no wonder the girl trapped it in the deep recesses of her subconscious.  How could anyone see that and want to remember it?  It had remained inside her, eating away at her mind, its gnashing teeth threatening her very sanity.  But now she could let it go.  It wouldn’t have to remain locked way much longer.  
   
“You’ll be okay,” the Doctor said, glancing down tenderly at the girl.  
   
At his words, River’s eyes popped open.  She seemed bewildered, more so than usual.  She stared at the Doctor.  
   
“I know,” she said, awed.  
   
The Doctor wasn’t sure what to make of this, but then something occurred to him, and he switched gears.  
   
“River, who’s Miranda?  Was the woman in the video called Miranda?”  
   
River squinted in concentration.  
   
“No,” she said.  Then she shook her head, frustrated.  “I don’t remember.”  
   
The Doctor smiled kindly.  
   
“That’s all right.  We’ll figure it all out.”  
   
“We can fix it,” she said, a slight smile tugging at her mouth.  
   
The Doctor shook his head.  
   
“No, but we can make sure it never happens again.  I’ll gather the crew.  We’ll tell them together.”  
   
River shifted, pushing herself up into a seated position.  She pinned him with a very serious look.  
   
“Yes.  But Doctor, first you need to tell the Bad Wolf,” she intoned.   
   
It came out as a command, and the Doctor froze.  
   
“Tell her what?” he asked.  
   
River pushed aside the covers.  The Doctor backed away to allow her to stand.  
   
“You need to tell her the truth.  You didn’t sing a song that made the Daleks run away.  She made their atoms split apart and turn to dust with the wave of her hand,” River continued.  
   
His chest tightened.  
   
“She doesn’t need to know that,” he told her.  
   
She narrowed her eyes at him.  
   
“She does.  She needs to know that she is the Bad Wolf.  And she needs to know about the Immortal Man.  The one you left behind to never die.  Alone.”  
   
The Doctor felt sick to his stomach.  
   
“How can you know all of this?” he asked.  
   
“A door once opened…” she trailed off.  
   
“‘May be stepped through in either direction,’” he murmured, remembering Reinette’s words from months before.   
   
It made sense, then, that if Reinette could enter his mind, so could River.  And River, being far more adept at understanding extrasensory information, would understand how that knowledge could be used within the Time Vortex.  
   
“Jack was _wrong_.  He shouldn’t exist.  I had to leave him,” the Doctor insisted.  
   
River didn’t even blink before she responded.  
   
“He wasn’t.  He does.  You didn’t,” she retorted. “Tell the Bad Wolf.  She’ll know what to do.”  
   
He thought of Jack, alone on Satellite Five, running into the room just in time to see the TARDIS disappear.  He’d watched it through the viewing monitor with that all-to-familiar sense of duty overcoming his guilt.  
   
Now the guilt was back in full force.  He couldn’t imagine telling Rose about Bad Wolf, let alone about Jack.  Would she ever forgive him?  Could he forgive himself?  
   
River slipped past him.  She paused in the doorway and addressed him one final time.  
   
“You cut it out of her brain.  She’s not whole.  Give it back,” River said.  
   
She left the Doctor standing alone in her room.  He was rooted to the spot for several long moments, unsure of how to process the girl’s words.  Surely a teenaged human, genius or not, didn’t know better than him how to proceed in his relationship with Rose.  He took away the Bad Wolf to save her life.  The Time Vortex was burning her alive.  As for lying to her about what happened…  Well, that was the best idea at the time.  He had a new face, and a new personality, and he wasn’t about to scare her right out of the TARDIS, was he?  
   
The Doctor returned to his room in somewhat of a daze.  He plopped down on their bed and stared ahead, going over his actions in his mind.  
   
He was protecting her.  It wasn’t _Rose_ who destroyed the Daleks and saved his life on Satellite Five.  It was the forces of Time, inhabiting her body.   
   
But he knew that wasn’t entirely true, because she had called him _her_ Doctor, and it was his name on her lips right before she ended the Time War.  Maybe River was right.  Maybe he cut apart Rose’s brain just like the Academy doctors had done to her.  
   
The sound of the door sliding open startled him, and he felt his hearts stop when Rose came into view.  She must have noticed the grim look on his face,  
   
“Doctor?  Are you all right?  What happened with River?” she asked.  
   
The origin of reavers was the furthest thing from his mind when he answered her.  
   
“Rose, you should sit down,” he said, patting the bed.  
   
Rose hesitated.  
   
“Okay, that doesn’t sound very reassuring.  What’s going on?” she asked uneasily.  
   
He couldn’t look at her.   
   
“It’s time I told you the truth,” he said.  
   
He heard her move closer.  
   
“The truth about what?”  
   
He managed to raise his eyes to hers, knowing that River was right.  Rose had a right to know.   
   
“About Bad Wolf,” he said.  
   
“Where’s this coming from?  Is River all right?” she asked.  
   
The Doctor nodded.  
  
  
“She needs our help, but we’ll get to that later.  I need to show you something.  Something about yourself.”  
   
She looked nervous, but took a few steps forward until she was standing beside him.  
   
“What?” she asked.  
   
“Sit down,” he urged her.  
   
She did, settling herself in front of him.  He shifted up until their knees touched, and reached out to take her face in his hands.  Her forehead creased with concern, but she didn’t flinch away.  
   
“Just relax,” he whispered.  
   
He brought his forehead down until it was resting against hers.  This wouldn’t be the same as it was with River.  Rose wasn’t telepathic, and he wasn’t entering her mind.  He was taking her into _his_.   
   
It wouldn’t be reliving every moment in real time.  She would catch glimpses of moments at high speed, feeling the emotions as one great rush.  But in the end she would understand everything as clearly as if she had been there.  Which, of course, she had been.  
   
Gently, he pulled her into his mind.   
   
 _There he was.  The old him, with those big ears and his daft grin and that leather coat.  He was resigned to his fate, awaiting death-by-Dalek, when the TARDIS rematerialized behind him._  
   
Back in real time, he felt Rose pull back the tiniest bit, jolted by surprise.  Whether it was just at the surprise of being in his memory or shock at seeing the older version of him, he wasn’t sure, but he refocused and pulled her back into his mind.  
   
 _Then she was there, impossibly beautiful and bathed in the brightest light.  She stepped forward.  The light wasn’t just surrounding her; it was coming from her.  Her eyes were on fire._  
   
The ship shook in the present.  They must have been approaching Verbena.  He heard Rose gasp and gave her temples a soothing brush to draw her back in.  
   
 _Her voice wasn’t her own.  It was melodic and mechanical all at once._  
   
 _“I looked into the TARDIS.  And the TARDIS looked into me,” she told him._  
   
 _His eyes widened in horror._  
   
The ship rocked in earnest now, breaking through the atmosphere of Verbena, but the Doctor grasped Rose by the shoulders to keep her from breaking the connection.  
   
 _“I am the Bad Wolf.  I create myself.  I take the words.  I scatter them in time and space. A message to lead myself here.”_  
   
 _“Rose, you’ve got to stop this.  You’ve got to stop this now!  You’ve got the entire Vortex running through your head!  You’re gonna burn!”_  
   
 _“I want you safe.  My Doctor.  Protected from the false god.”_  
   
The rumbling of the ship approached a furious crescendo, but he pushed onward.  
   
 _“I can see the whole of time and space, every single atom of your existence, and I divide them.”_  
   
 _A single Dalek turned to dust._  
   
 _“Everything must come to dust.  All things.  Everything dies.”_  
   
 _Then, with the wave of her hand she made all of the Daleks in the room split apart into billions of tiny particles that burned away into nothing.  The Dalek Emperor remained, declaring his immortality, but Rose brought her arms out to her sides, her eyes burned with power, and every ship in the Dalek fleet went up in flames.  The entire race decimated._  
   
He heard her gasp in real time, but he didn’t dare open his eyes.  She had to see the end.  He concentrated very hard so that he could give her the rest uninterrupted.  
   
 _“You can’t control life and death!” he shouted._  
   
 _She looked down at him._  
   
 _“But I can.  The sun and the moon.  The day and night.  But why do they hurt?”_  
   
 _Tears streamed down her face.  He couldn’t look at her._  
   
 _“The power’s gonna kill you and it’s my fault!” he moaned._  
   
 _“I can see everything,” she continued, her otherworldly voice trembling.  Her words made him look up.  “All that is; All that was; All that ever could be.”_  
   
 _The Doctor felt a rush of compassion.  He sprung to his feet._  
   
 _“That’s what I see,” he said softly.  “All the time.  And doesn’t it drive you mad?”_  
   
 _She nearly smiled, but the pain was too much._  
   
 _“My head...”_  
   
 _“Come here,” he said._  
   
 _“…is killing me.”_  
   
 _“I think you need a Doctor.”_  
   
 _He grinned, took her hands, and pulled her close.  She looked at him like he was salvation, and he was.  He brought his lips down to hers in a gentle kiss.  As they separated, a stream of golden light appeared between their eyes.  The Vortex flowed out of her and into him, and she collapsed in his arms.  He lowered her to the ground and expelled the energy back into the TARDIS.  He blinked and stumbled backwards._  
   
 _Serenity_ hurtled through the last layer of Verbena’s atmosphere with a tremendous lurch.  The Doctor’s hands came apart from Rose’s temples with the force of the movement.  The ship leveled out to begin its descent.  He pulled away and peered at her, trying to discern her reaction.  She was staring down at the bed when she spoke.  
   
“You told me… when I woke up in the TARDIS and you started to change… you told me that you’d absorbed all the energy in the Time Vortex, and that was what was killing you.”  
   
He saw her lip tremble.  Placing his hands over hers, he willed her to understand that she wasn’t to blame.  
   
“It killed my body, Rose.  Not me.”  
   
Her eyes snapped up to his.  They were glossy with tears.  
   
“But you’d still be here.  The old you.  If I hadn’t…”  
   
Her voice faded and she swallowed hard.  He gave her hands a squeeze.  
   
“Oh, come now.  You’ll make me jealous.  Didn’t work out so bad, did it?” he asked, giving her a slight smile.   
   
When she didn’t respond, he carefully pulled her to him.  She allowed herself to be maneuvered into his lap, resting her cheek on his shoulder.  He felt her tears soak through his shirt, and his hands found her back, tracing soothing circles across the fabric of her dress.  
   
For a few minutes, they were both silent.  The Doctor knew it was a lot to process, and he wanted to give her time to do so without him interrupting.  There was nothing worse than someone telling you that everything was okay when it so obviously wasn’t.  False comfort was no comfort at all.  
   
The turbulence of the descent slowed to a slight vibration.  Finally, he felt Rose shift in his arms.  Her hands pressed against his chest and pushed.  He released her, sparing her a curious glance, but she was up and moving.  She settled herself in the desk chair and when she finally looked at him, there was accusation in her eyes.  
   
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.  
   
He leaned back against the wall.  
   
“There was already so much happening.  My body was dying.  I was changing.  I didn’t want to make it any worse,” he said.  
   
She frowned.  
   
“So you were just protecting me?”  
   
“I was trying,” he replied.  
   
She shook her head and sighed.  Her eyes traveled the length of the floor, as if she was counting tiles.  
   
“I think you’re lying,” she murmured after a moment.  
   
Now it was the Doctor’s turn to frown.  
   
“I’m not,” he said immediately.  
   
Rose looked at him, her expression full of censure.  
   
“I think you were protecting yourself,” she charged.  
   
The Doctor stared for a moment, bewildered.  Then he rushed to explain, to make her see how wrong she was.  
   
“Rose, you committed genocide.  You wiped out the Daleks like you were sweeping crumbs into the dustbin,” he said.  “I know the pain of that, the guilt.  Given the chance to save you from that… how could I not?”  
   
She looked past him, her face screwed up in anguish.  
   
“When you love someone, you have to take it all, the good and the bad.  You don’t have to approve, but you have to accept it,” she said.  
   
Her voice was soft and trembling.  He had no idea where this was coming from.  
   
“I did.  I _do_ ,” he said firmly.  
   
Her eyes snapped back to his, and her voice was no longer soft and shaky when she replied.  
   
“You don’t, obviously, because you kept it from me!” she snapped.  She shook her head again.  “I did something that you thought was so awful that it terrified you.  So you took it away— _poof_!  Like it never happened.”  
   
She stood from the chair and moved even further away from him, back against the opposite wall.   
   
“But I did that, Doctor.  And I did it for you.  And now that I know it, I’d do it again.”  
   
He paled, and she noticed.  
   
“And that’s what you wanted to avoid.  That it wasn’t just a one-off.  It’s real. It’s part of me.”  
   
The Doctor jerked back, shocked by her words.  
   
“No.  You don’t know what you’re saying.  You wouldn’t do it again.”  
   
She didn’t hesitate.  
   
“I would.  In a heartbeat.  It was terrible, and knowing that I did it, it scares me, yeah.  But I’d do it again to save you,” she said.  She watched his face fall, and a sad smile crossed her lips.  “And that’s the problem, isn’t it?  You hate the part of yourself that did this in the Time War.  And then you saw it in me.  So you erased it.”  
   
“To save your life,” he replied, feebly.  
   
“Yeah,” she nodded.  “ _And_ to save yourself.”  
   
“How can you think that?” he asked.  
   
She took a few tentative steps toward the bed.  
   
“I love you,” she said.  He felt some relief at her words, but she wasn’t smiling.  “I love every part of you, including the part that sometimes has to do impossibly terrible things.  Because it’s who you are, and you can’t help it.  And you’re a good man despite it all, or maybe because of it.  But you can’t love that part of me.”  
   
“That’s not a part of you.  You’re too good for that.  Better than me,” he argued.  
   
She shook her head.  
   
“You know that’s not really true.  Otherwise you would have told me all about the Bad Wolf ages ago, and we would’ve had a good laugh about the time I was possessed by the Time Vortex and acted like a lunatic.”  
   
He wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but he knew that there was more truth to her version of events than his.   
   
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said finally.  
   
“What else have you kept from me?  What other things have I done that you took away?” she asked, coming to stand before him.  
   
He looked up at her and shook his head.  
   
“It’s not like that,” he assured her.  
   
She was unmoved.  
   
“ _What.  Else_ ,” she repeated.  
   
And he knew he would have to tell her everything.  
   
“Jack,” he said.  
   
“What about Jack?” she demanded.  
   
The Doctor let out a breath he’d been holding without realizing it.  
   
“He died on Satellite Five.”  
   
Rose stumbled back, but managed to seat herself neatly on the bed beside him instead of falling.  
   
“You told me he was busy rebuilding Earth,” she said, sounding more awed than accusatory.  
   
“I know.”  
   
“Did I do that?  Did I kill him when I killed the Daleks?” she asked.  
   
Her eyes were wide with horror, and he rushed to correct her.  
   
“No, Rose.  You brought him back.”  
   
“What?” she gasped.  
   
“You brought him back to life.  With a wave of your hand,” he told her.  
   
She squinted down at her hands, which were clutching the bedspread.  
   
“So, I saved his life,” she said slowly.  
   
“No, Rose,” the Doctor replied.  He sighed and steeled himself for his next statement.  “You stole his death.”  
   
She turned to face him, impatient with his cryptic words.  
   
“What’s that mean?” she asked.  
   
“I’m not positive,” the Doctor admitted.  “I have a theory.”  
   
She nodded.  
   
“Go on, then.”  
   
The Doctor looked directly at her.  
   
“He can’t die.”  
   
She frowned.  
   
“What’s that mean?  He’s immortal?”  
   
He shrugged.  
   
“Maybe.”  
   
“Well, is he okay?” she asked, her voice taking on a distressed pitch.  
   
“He’s alive,” the Doctor said simply.  
   
She pinned him with a frustrated look.  
   
“That’s not what I meant.  Is he _okay_?” she clarified.  
   
The Doctor shook his head.  
   
“I don’t know.”  
   
“What do you mean you _don’t know_?” she demanded.  
   
“I didn’t see him.  After,” he didn’t say after what.  She knew.  “I brought you straight into the TARDIS and sent her into the Vortex.”  
   
“What, you left him?” she blurted out, appalled.  
   
The Doctor fidgeted on the bed, before finally snapping.  
   
“He’s wrong, Rose!  He shouldn’t _be_.”  
   
“But he _is_!” she shouted.  “And you left him!  Just like you left Sarah Jane, just like you tried to leave me by sending me away from Satellite Five!”  
   
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.  
   
She shook her head.  Apology not accepted.  
   
“What am I to you?” she asked.  
   
He felt his stomach plummet.  Surely she didn’t doubt his feelings for her.  Not his Rose.  
   
“Rose, you’re everything.  You must know that.”  
   
“You don’t see me as your equal.  You can’t,” she went on, as if he hadn’t spoken.  “If you did, you wouldn’t send me away every time you worry about my safety.  And you wouldn’t lie to me and steal my memories!”  
   
“Please understand—”  
   
“The one time I acted the most like you, the one time I _was_ your equal, you kept it from me,” she continued over him.  
   
“Because you’re _not_ my equal, Rose!” he shouted.  
   
The entire ship rocked just then.  A shockwave that the Doctor knew meant that they had just entered regular airspace on Verbena.  But that seemed unimportant right now, when Rose was looking at him like she didn’t recognize him.  
   
“Well, that’s it then, isn’t it.  The truth,” she said quietly.  
   
He reached over to take her hands.  To his relief, she didn’t fight him.  
   
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said.  “Your body physically cannot handle the type of power that mine can.  I mean, even my body couldn’t handle the entire Vortex.  It’s why I regenerated.  You just can’t be me, Rose.  You’re not a Time Lord.”  
   
“I wasn’t trying to be a Time Lord!  I was trying to save you!” she said fiercely, daring him to challenge her.  
   
“I know,” he said softly.  “And I was just trying to save _you_.”  
   
“I know,” she echoed.  The looked down at their hands.  “But you should have told me sooner.”  
   
He didn’t reply.  After a moment, she sighed and pulled her hands away.  
   
“Maybe Inara was right.  Maybe you can’t let someone have so much of you that you forget who you are.”  
   
“Rose, you know who you are,” he countered.  
   
“Only because you chose to tell me!” she retorted.  “ _I’m_ the Bad Wolf! You stole that from me.”  
   
“Were!  You _were_ the Bad Wolf,” he corrected.  “And you were going to die if I didn’t take the Vortex out of you.”  
   
“You didn’t just save me.  You remolded me.  You regenerated me into a safer version of myself.  One who didn’t remember the Bad Wolf,” she accused.  
   
He refused to accept that.  He had been saving her life, pure and simple, and he couldn’t possibly have thought any further beyond that.  So instead of responding to her charge, he went back to an earlier one.  
   
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he said.  
   
She sighed.  
   
“Can you promise me you won’t do it again?”  
   
He considered her question.  What did she mean, exactly?  Did he promise he wouldn’t save her life again?  Alter her memories?  Send her away when death was imminent?  Could he promise her any of those things?  All three?  
   
“Er, sorry to interrupt.  Mal says were about to land.”  
   
They both turned to see Simon poking his head in the doorway.  The Doctor nodded.  
   
“Simon,” he called out before the young man could leave.  
   
“Yes, Doctor?” he asked.  
   
“We need to talk about River.  I’d like to speak to the whole crew, if possible, but you most of all.”  
   
“Is everything all right?” Simon asked.  
   
“I think it will be,” the Doctor replied honestly.  
   
“I’ll let Mal know.  But he wants everyone in the cargo bay immediately,” the younger man told him.  
   
He disappeared from view, leaving the Doctor and Rose alone once more.  
   
“I’m sorry,” the Doctor said for what felt like the thousandth time.  
   
“I know,” Rose said wearily.  
   
“What happens now?” the Doctor asked, dreading her response.  
   
“River needs help?” Rose asked.  
   
The Doctor frowned, confused.  
   
“Yes.”  
   
Rose stood abruptly.  
   
“Then we do that first,” she announced.  
   
The ship rumbled and shook furiously for a moment, and then all motion stopped.  They had landed.  Rose reached down to slip on her satin flats. The Doctor was bewildered by the abrupt subject change.  
   
“Rose, we have to—”  
   
“We’ll be in the TARDIS within the hour, so whatever’s happening here can wait,” Rose said firmly.  Then her expression softened.  The look she gave the Doctor was familiar.  Compassion.  “She’s just a girl.  And she needs our help,” she said simply.  
   
The Doctor rose from the bed.  
   
“You’re right,” he said.  
   
They made their way up to the cargo bay to find the rest of the crew already assembled there.  
   
“Okay, listen up,” Mal called out.  “We’re here to get the Doctor, Rose, and Inara back on their way, refuel, and find a new job.  In that order.  No dallying.  Doctor, you can tell us whatever you have to on the way.”  
   
“Inara?”  
   
The Doctor saw Rose stare at the Companion in dismay.  He wondered why Rose was so upset that Inara was leaving.  They’d known all along this was coming.  Inara looked away, refusing to meet Rose’s gaze, and he saw his companion’s shoulders slump in defeat.  
   
“Wash, lower the ramp,” Mal ordered his pilot.  
   
Wash jammed his thumb into the button next to the bay doors.  The metal creaked and groaned as the drawbridge-style door lowered.  Inch by inch it went, and slowly, a figure came into view.  First the top of a slick brown ponytail, then a pair of cold eyes, and finally the rest of a pale, sneering face.  
   
It was The Engineer.  
   
   
   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, DUUUUN! Please tell me what you think! Thank you all so much for sticking with my story :)


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Chapter Twenty-Six** ****

  
_“Wash, lower the ramp,” Mal ordered his pilot._  
  
 _Wash jammed his thumb into the button next to the bay doors.  The metal creaked and groaned as the drawbridge-style door lowered.  Inch by inch it went, and slowly, a figure came into view.  First the top of a slick brown ponytail, then a pair of cold eyes, and finally the rest of a pale, sneering face._  
  
 _It was The Engineer._  
  
“WASH, RAISE THE RAMP!  RAISE THE RAMP!” Mal shouted.  
  
“You know, Captain, consistency is not your forte,” Wash informed him, nevertheless jamming the button again with his thumb.  
  
But the ramp continued to descend.  Rose glanced nervously at the Doctor, then remembered that she was terribly upset with him and looked straight ahead again.  
  
“I think you’ll find that your controls are deadlocked,” The Engineer, Lady Eden Wing, said with false cheerfulness.  
  
As the ramp cleared her shoulders, three figures came into view behind her, a trio of Alliance soldiers.  A quick glance downwards proved that they weren’t the Blue Hands.  The threesome did, however, carry guns that looked significantly deadlier than sonic rifles.  Guns that were trained on the crew.  
  
“Weapons down,” The Engineer ordered.  
  
Mal and Zoe hesitated for only a moment before removing their guns from their holsters and setting them on the ground.  All eyes fell on Jayne.  The mercenary let out a menacing grunt and gripped his rifle tighter. To Rose’s surprise, The Engineer’s immediate response was to laugh.  
  
“Like a dog with a bone,” she chuckled.  
  
As soon as the ramp set down, she placed one stiletto-ed foot in front of the other until she was standing on the grated floor of the cargo bay, inches away from Jayne.  He pointed his muzzle directly at her, so close that it grazed the buttons of her tailored white jacket.  
  
“Weapons down, or I’ll order them to start with the women,” she clarified.  
  
Jayne’s fingers twitched.  
  
“Do you really trust yourself to hit all three of them before they manage to kill the beautiful Ms. Serra?” she said, her icy gaze transferring to Inara.  “Or are blondes more your type?” she pressed.  
  
Rose felt her heart skip a beat with The Engineer’s eyes landed on her.  She could feel Jayne’s gaze on her as well, but couldn’t bring herself to turn towards him.  She heard a clatter and realized that he must have dropped his gun.  The noise was enough to snap her out of her paralysis.  
  
“Oh, very nice.  Threaten the women.  All hail the Great Alliance,” she sneered.  
  
Rose couldn’t help herself, but she felt the Doctor’s hand grip her wrist and give it a warning squeeze.  She felt the urge to snatch her hand back, but restrained herself.  When she looked up at him, he was staring stoically ahead.  The captain wasn’t quite so adept at hiding his anger.  
  
“I don’t remember tellin’ you you could come aboard my ship,” Mal said stiffly.  
  
The Engineer raised an eyebrow.  
  
“I don’t remember asking,” she replied.  
  
She held up a well-manicured hand and snapped her fingers.  One of the soldiers instantly stepped forward.  The Engineer gestured at the ground, and the soldier stooped to gather the discarded weapons before rejoining his compatriots.  
  
“How did you find us?” Shepherd Book asked.  
  
“Oh, come now.  I thought you all were smart enough to figure that out for yourselves,” she said, like a teacher scolding a lazy student.  “Let's just say a little bug told me.”  
  
  
“Harriet?” Kaylee gasped, sounding horrified.  
  
The Engineer smiled again.  She seemed to have an endless supply of good cheer this afternoon.  
  
“Oh you must be Kaylee!  I'd recognize that sweet little voice anywhere,” she replied in some cruel imitation of fondness.  “Yes, it was quite adorable, your naming her.”  
  
“She was transmitting the whole gorram time,” Mal muttered.  
  
“Well, you’re the ones who activated her early. You exposed her to light,” Eden Wing gleefully pointed out.  “Why did you even let her out of her crate?”  
  
“We didn’t have much choice in the matter,” Zoe snapped.  
  
“Well, lucky for us, she was the first beetle transmitting in the field, so we were able to focus our manpower on listening to your every word,” The Engineer crowed.  
  
“But I squashed her,” Jayne blurted out.  
  
Again, that terrible grin crossed Eden Wing’s face.  It was amazing to Rose that a smile could be so devoid of warmth; she was less a woman smiling and more a shark bearing its teeth.  
  
“Not before the illustrious Doctor revealed that he'd figured out our game,” Eden said.  
  
  
As the woman approached the Doctor, Rose’s stomach clenched.  She felt him drop her wrist and suddenly longed for him to take it back.  
  
“So you sent your husband to intercept me when I dropped Inara off on Persephone,” Mal interrupted.  Rose couldn’t help but feel relieved that he’d drawn The Engineer’s attention back on himself.  
  
“We knew your crew would come to rescue you in prison, and then we’d be able to scoop all of you up at once.”  She turned on her heel and her smile disappeared.  “Unfortunately you escaped.”  
  
“Speakin’ of your better half, where is Ol’ Ath-y?  We go way back.  We got this great running joke where I humiliate him and fly away all triumphant-like.”  
  
Mal’s grin was so brazen that Rose was sure The Engineer would lash out at him.  But she continued as calmly as if he hadn’t spoken at all.  
  
“It was only a slight speed bump.  We knew from our recordings that your next stop would be Verbena to drop off your two newest guests,” she went on, gesturing at Rose and the Doctor.  
  
“You’re wrong. Our next stop was Paquin,” Jayne growled.  “And you must know all hell’s broken loose over there, so why even bother with us at all? Your secret’s out!”  
  
“What secret?  It’s already buried.  Along with four-hundred insurgents who will serve as a lesson to others who might attempt the same foolish rebellion.”  
  
Rose felt a wave of nausea come over her.  She rocked on her heels to keep herself upright, and she didn’t fight at all when the Doctor laced his fingers through hers.  
  
“Then what is this?  Revenge?  You here to arrest us?” Jayne demanded.  
  
The Engineer spun on the mercenary, her voice taking on a hard edge that she’d managed to avoid thus far.  
  
“Oh, you will most definitely be arrested for killing my precious creations,” she promised.  
  
“Little spies,” River whispered.  
  
“River, don’t,” Simon hissed, pushing his sister behind him.  
  
But if the Engineer knew who River Tam was, she didn’t show it.  She glanced past River with an almost dreamlike look in her eyes.  
  
“They were so much more than that.  They were  _salvation_ ,” she proclaimed.  
  
“A plague,” River corrected, louder this time.  
  
“Be quiet, River, please!” Simon whispered harshly, his entire body rigid with fear.  
  
But once again, The Engineer didn’t seem angry so much as wistful.  
  
“Think of all the bloodshed my little creatures could have spared.  Their intel would have prevented riots across the ‘Verse; nipped them in the bud before they became a revolution.  They weren’t a plague.  They were a gift.”  
  
“A gift?” Zoe repeated, disgusted.  
  
“I’d hate to have you pull my name in the office Secret Santa,” Wash added.  He wasn’t smiling.  
  
She pinned the pilot with a probing glance.  
  
“Would you obey the speed limit if there were no police cruisers to enforce it?”  Wash opened his mouth, but after a second he closed it again.  The Engineer nodded.  “Surveillance makes people safer,” she concluded.  
  
“Surveillance makes people  _afraid_.”  
  
As soon as the Doctor spoke, Rose’s heart rate doubled.  She felt her palm grow sweaty in his grasp when The Engineer turned towards him once more.  
  
“The true test of a society is whether the cooperation of its citizenry is coerced through fear or inspired by a genuine sense of civic duty,” he went on.  
  
His voice was hard and condemning, but, oddly, The Engineer’s eyes seemed to light up at his words.  Before she could address him, they were once again saved by Mal’s impatience.  
  
“If you’re gonna arrest us, then just do it and spare us the mustache-twirling,” he spat.  
  
“Ah, but if all I wanted was to have you arrested, I could have simply had your ship flagged for pickup at any Alliance checkpoint,” The Engineer said.  
  
“What is this, Twenty gorram Questions?  Just tell us what you want!” Jayne snarled.  
  
Eden Wing seemed to grow calmer and more content as Jayne grew more agitated.  As she replied, she started to make a lazy circle around the crew, forcing them to meet her icy stare.  
  
“Twenty Questions.  A wonderful game!” she exclaimed, sweeping past Jayne.  “Identify the answer by process of elimination.”  She moved past Simon, who seemed to be frozen to the spot.  “One of these things is not like the other.”  Her heels clicked against the metal floor as she paced by Inara and Zoe.  “Can you guess which one of you doesn’t belong?” she asked as she stepped past Mal.  Her eyes glided right over Rose and landed on the man holding her hand.  
  
“ _Doctor_ , you’ve been awfully quiet,” she announced.  
  
Rose held her breath.  Why had she stopped in front of the Doctor?  Why wasn’t she moving past?  
  
“First time I’ve ever been accused of that,” he replied lightly.  
  
Of all things to do, Eden grinned at him.  A genuine grin, not the nasty kind she aimed at people in her superior way.  
  
“So I’ve heard,” she said.  
  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at that.  
  
“Have you, now?”  
  
Her eyes skimmed over his face like she was examining a rare painting.  
  
“Oh, you’re a legend.  In fact, most said you were a myth, but I always believed in you,” she intimated, again with that satisfied grin.  
  
“‘ _Believed in’_ him?  What’s going on?  Is he the head of some kind of cult?” Wash asked, bewildered.  
  
But his question was ignored as The Engineer continued, addressing only the Doctor.  
  
“I heard your name through the beetle, but it was only at the ball when I saw your sonic weapon that I put all the pieces together.”  
  
“It’s not a weapon; it’s a screwdriver,” the Doctor interjected.  
  
The Engineer ignored him.  
  
“My superiors have files on you stretching back hundreds of years.”  
  
Rose’s mind raced with this new information.  It made sense, of course.  If human governments had records on the Doctor back in her time, they would surely have only expanded on those files a few centuries in the future.  But why was this woman looking at the Doctor so eagerly?  Rose felt like her insides were doing somersaults.  The Doctor, however, replied as if this information hardly fazed him.  
  
“It’s always nice to meet a fan, but you didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” he said nonchalantly.  
  
“Oh, but I did,” Eden replied.  “You shape the universe as you see fit.  When somebody crosses the Doctor, they’d better run.  Because he doesn’t do second chances.  The Daleks had a name for you.”  
  
“The Oncoming Storm.”  
  
Rose turned at the same time that The Engineer did, both of them staring at River.  
  
“A-plus for the little girl,” Eden said, smiling coyly.  
  
“Not a little girl,” River retorted, frowning.  
  
Luckily, Kaylee spoke before Eden could react to that.  
  
“What are Daleks?” the mechanic asked.  
  
She seemed to instantly regret speaking when The Engineer turned towards her, but Eden’s words were short and to the point.  
  
“Classified.  Lost to history, and we want to keep it that way.”  
  
“Classified?  Like your friends with the blue gloves?” the Doctor piped up.  “A word of advice:  You might want to find yourself some henchmen who don’t give the impression that they live in mortal fear of dishpan hands.”  
  
“Henchmen?” Eden repeated, looking at him with an exaggerated show of surprise.  “Doctor, I’m astonished that you’d paint me as the villain here.”  
  
“Shocked!  Shocked, you say, to find that gambling is going on here!” the Doctor mocked.  
  
Eden shook her head, coming closer.  
  
“I’m not being facetious.  I’m the furthest thing from a villain.  I’m the hero of this story, just like you, Doctor.”  
  
She stopped in front of him.  
  
“I named myself after you, you know.”  She flashed him another genuine smile before she went on.  “You chose the one title that best sums up what you do.  The Doctor is one who heals.  He makes people better.  The Engineer is one who builds things.  Fantastic structures that allow humanity to advance.”  
  
“Don’t compare yourself to me.  I’ve seen your idea of  _advanced_  humans,” the Doctor said in a low voice.  
  
He squeezed Rose’s hand so tightly that it hurt, but she doubted he even realized he was doing it.  
  
“Here we have the Artificial Sun of Liann Jiun and the Interplanetary Gravity Bridge.  On Earth-That-Was they had the Pyramids and the Great Wall of China,” The Engineer continued with enthusiasm.  
  
“How telling that you chose two structures built with slave labor,” the Doctor retorted.  
  
“Doctor, we have so much to discuss.  You will be invaluable to our cause,” Eden said, unfazed by his dig.  
  
The Doctor stared straight at her.  
  
“And the others?” he asked.  
  
“Will be arrested,” she replied smoothly.  
  
He dropped Rose’s hand, and she felt the circulation return to her fingers.  
  
“What if I made you a deal?” he proposed.  
  
Rose felt her heart thud against her ribcage.  
  
“Doctor, what are you doing?” she asked nervously.  
  
“What sort of a deal?” Eden asked, intrigued.  
  
“Rose, I’ll be fine,” he said without looking away from The Engineer.  “Lady Wing, you know I’m not the sort of man who can be taken and used against my will.”  
  
She smiled.  
  
“No.  You’re not a man at all.  You’re so much more.”  
  
How she could make those words sound so horrible, Rose would never know, but they sent a chill down her spine.  
  
“I’ll agree to leave with you, right now, no fighting.  And in return you will let these people live on in peace.  You will never interfere with them again,” the Doctor said.  
  
“No!” Rose blurted out.  
  
She reached for his hand, but he pulled away, stepping towards The Engineer.  But someone else stepped forward as well.  Simon clung to her arm, but River pushed out of the huddle and addressed the Doctor directly.  
  
“The man is not a gun.  He is a man,” she said, almost pleadingly.  
  
The Doctor approached her.  Rose could see that she had tears in her eyes and her lips trembled.  When the Doctor placed his hands on the sides of her face, her expression crumbled.  He leaned in and whispered to her, but not so quietly that they all couldn’t hear him.  
  
“River, you can’t break down now.  I know you have the urge to become that scared little girl inside of you.  But you have to fight it, because, you see,  _you_  are the very strongest and bravest person on this ship, and they’re all going to need you.”  
  
He released the girl without waiting for her response, and turn quickly back to Eden.  
  
“Do you agree to these terms?” he asked her.  
  
The Engineer’s eyes flashed bright with anticipation.  
  
“I will be elevated beyond my wildest aspirations if I bring you in,” she replied.  “The others are of no real consequence to us.”  
  
“Doctor, don’t!” Rose called out.  
  
This time it wasn’t a desperate plea; it was a command.  She glared at him, but once again, he ignored her.  
  
“But first I need proof that you’re actually going to let them go,” he said.  
  
Eden snapped her fingers again.  One of the soldiers immediately turned and walked over to a military vehicle parked a few meters away.  He started fiddling with some dials on the dash.  
  
“Your locks will be down in moments,” Eden announced.  
  
“Wash,” Mal prompted.  
  
Wash stepped away from the door controls and started towards the stairs.  
  
“On it,” he said before racing up to the cockpit.  
  
“Doctor, you can’t,” Rose said firmly.  
  
When the Doctor stared stonily ahead, she spoke louder.  
  
“Look at me.  You’re not going anywhere with her.”  
  
“This is the way it has to be,” he said quietly.  
  
“Bollocks!  This is just you leaving everyone behind again.  Well, I won’t have it,” she snapped.  She stepped forward and addressed The Engineer.  “I’m coming with him.”  
  
“No you’re not,” the Doctor said calmly.  
  
“Like hell I’m not,” she hissed.  
  
“Sorry, but there’s no room for you in the humvee,” The Engineer said, failing to sound very sorry at all.  
  
“I can sit in a lap.  Don’t care whose,” Rose declared, walking up to one of the soldiers still in the cargo bay.  “You there, you up for it?” she asked one of them at random.  
  
“Jayne,” the Doctor said.  
  
Rose turned to see the Doctor giving the mercenary a pointed look.  The larger man nodded and started towards her.  
  
“What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded.  
  
Jayne avoided her eyes, taking broad steps to reach her in seconds. As he wrapped his arms around her body, she shouted, “No!  Put me down!”  
  
She struggled furiously against him, but her arms were pinned to her sides.  She kicked her feet out, trying to strike at his shins with her heels, but it was as if he was made of stone.  He maintained a firm grip as she trashed about.  
  
“I’ll never forgive you for this!” she snarled.  
  
She looked up at the rest of the crew, but if they were watching her at all, it was with a sympathetic sort of resignation.  They were probably used to this sort of negotiation, living in the frontier of space.  They didn’t understand that she  _had_  to stay with the Doctor.  
  
She called out to the Doctor again, but he addressed Mal instead of her.  
  
“Captain, you have something of mine,” he said.  
  
Rose saw a sort of recognition come over Mal’s face.  
  
“Oh, right,” he said, reaching into his pocket to retrieve a brown wallet.  
  
He flipped it open and held it out to the Doctor.  
  
“There ya go.  Just like you left it,” he said.  
  
The Doctor reached for it, pausing for a brief moment.  
  
“It was an honor knowing you,” he told the captain.  
  
Mal nodded and released the wallet.  
  
“ _Captain, we’re up and running,_ ” Wash’s voice announced over the comm.  
  
There were no more goodbyes.  The Doctor nodded to The Engineer, and together they strode out the bay door and into the humvee.  Zoe went over to the doors and hit the largest button.  The hatch began to rise, and Rose watched the Doctor disappear from view.  
  
“Let me go!  How can you do this?” she screamed, twisting again in Jayne’s arms.  
  
As soon as the door latched shut, the mercenary released her.  She ran towards the button to lower it again, despite the fact that she could feel the engine kicking on, but Mal stepped in her path.  
  
“Rose, stop!” he ordered.  
  
Zoe reached the control panel first, and it was the intercom button, not the door release that she hit.  
  
“Honey, take us up,” she said.  
  
“We’re not going anywhere!” Rose nearly growled, trying to judge just how fast she would have to move to get around both Mal and Zoe to the controls.  
  
But Mal spoke again, and his words stopped her short.  
  
“Rose, he touched the psychic paper,” he said.  As the meaning of his words became clear, she allowed him to walk over next to Zoe.  
  
“What did it say?” Rose demanded.  
  
“I’m sorry, but what’s psychic paper?” Simon asked, looking between Rose and Mal.  “It can’t be what it sounds like, right?”  
  
“It’s exactly what it sounds like,” Mal replied before turning back to Rose.  “When he touched it, it said, ‘Fly my way, and tell River to go fishing with the core.’”  
  
Rose squinted back at him, then looked around the room to see that everyone else was wearing a similar expression.  
  
“And that’s s’posed to make some kinda sense?” Jayne asked.  
  
“To River, I’m hopin’,” Mal replied, turning to the girl in question.  
  
River was staring up at the ceiling, looking as if there was a difficult calculus problem printed across its surface.  After a moment’s pause, she jerked her head back down and stared straight at Mal.  
  
“Radion-accelerator core.  Gravitational field,” she said.  In another sharp movement, her eyes were on the stairs.  “I need to be in the engine room.”  
  
With that announcement, she set off up the stairs in a half-run, leaving everyone standing around in the cargo bay with the same bewildered expression.  Finally, with a shrug, Mal hit the comm button.  
  
“Wash, change of plan.  Fly towards the Doctor,” he called up to the pilot.  
  
There was a pause before Wash’s voice crackled over the speakers.  
  
“ _Just to be clear, you want me to fly_ towards _the people who were just aiming very large guns at us?_ ”  
  
“That’s right,” Mal replied unflinchingly.  
  
There was another brief pause.  
  
“ _Okay then!_ ” Wash called down.  
  
“I’ll go with River, ‘case she needs help,” Kaylee said, moving towards the stairs.  
  
“Me too,” Rose added, rushing up the steps after her.  
  
Whatever was happening, if it meant getting the Doctor back, she was going to be involved.  She nearly bumped into Kaylee, as the mechanic had stopped short in the doorway to the engine room.  Rose saw over her shoulder that River was poised over the rotating engine with a wrench.  
  
Kaylee inched towards her, holding her hands out in front of her like a hostage negotiator trying to assure a captor that she was unarmed.  
  
“River, what are you doing?  Let’s just— _Wuh de tyen, ah!_ _WHY?”_ _she shouted as River brought the wrench down into the center of the engine and gave it a vicious twist._  
  
 _Kaylee made to rush towards the teenager, but Rose grabbed her arm._  
  
“No, let her,” she said.  
  
River continued to clang away at the engine.  Kaylee looked from Rose to River and back again, eyes wide in horror.  
  
“But she—”  
  
“It’s for the Doctor,” Rose implored.  
  
Kaylee looked like Rose had just asked her to sacrifice her child, and in a way, Rose knew that was what it must be for the mechanic.  But River had to know what she was doing.  
  
A terrible screeching noise came from the engine as River wrenched its outer walls open.  A bright green glow filled the room, and Rose felt a rush of heat.  Beside her, Kaylee whimpered.  
  
“River, be careful with her.  She’s not in the best shape and sharp movements could damage her so’s even  _I_ can’t fix her,” she said tremulously.  
  
River didn’t look up, but her movements seemed to become gentler.  She reached in with her bare hands and began peeling back the delicate sheets of circuitry surrounding its center until she revealed its spinning core.  
  
Kaylee looked ready to faint when River dropped to her knees and peered underneath the engine.  She reached in and yanked on something that creaked before it came loose with a  _thunk_.  
  
“Oh, River, not the G-line!  I just rerouted it, and the graft couplings ain’t stable!” Kaylee moaned.  
  
“The couplings will hold,” River replied confidently from underneath the machine.  
  
The teenager moved as if she’d drilled this procedure hundreds of times before.  With just a few twists and pulls, she turned the copper piping that Rose now knew was the G-line, whatever that meant, and spun it so that one end was pressed directly to the engine’s core, and the other was aimed at the side of the room.  
  
“We’re not gonna have gravity without the G-line!” Kaylee noted anxiously.  
  
“Don’t need it,” River said without looking up from her work.  
  
Kaylee twisted her hands.  
  
“Well, not so close to the surface, but how are we gonna escape without a functionin’ Grav Dampener?” she asked.  
  
River stood abruptly and went to Kaylee’s side.  She rested her hands over the mechanic’s and gently pried them apart.  Without a word, River led her to the remounted G-line and curled the other woman’s fingers around the end facing the wall.  
  
“Don’t let go of this,” she told Kaylee decisively.  Before the mechanic could protest, River was already moving towards the door.  
  
“Shuttle,” she said to Rose as she left.  
  
Rose turned to Kaylee, whom she could see was struggling to hold the rattling metal pipe steady, and gave her an apologetic shrug.  Then she followed River out of the room.  She ran to keep up with the girl, who flew down the stairs and turned sharply towards Inara’s shuttle.  
  
“Anyone gonna explain to me what’s goin’ on on  _my_  ship?” Mal shouted up from the cargo bay when they came into view.  
  
“NO!” they both shouted at once, racing out of sight and into the shuttle.  
  
River immediately planted herself in the pilot’s seat.  Her hands flew across the controls, flipping switches and turning dials so quickly that Rose barely had time to slide into the co-pilot’s seat before the engine hummed to life.  River reached up and hit a button above her head.  
  
“Disengaging shuttle,” she announced.  
  
“ _River?  Is that you?_ ” Wash’s voice came from the speakers.  
  
“Wash, it’s fine.  I’m here too,” Rose called up to him.  
  
There was a brief pause.  
  
“ _Oookay.  So the person I know the_ least _on this ship is accompanying the teenager, and that’s supposed to make me feel_ better _?”_  
  
Rose had to admit that from his perspective, it might not be a huge comfort.  But the Doctor was still with that terrible woman, and she had no patience for Wash’s anxiety.  
  
“Just clear us for departure!” she snapped.  
  
There was another pause.  
  
“ _I’m still just as confused, but I’m just going with it at this point_.”  
  
“Good choice!” Rose said, grinning.  
  
The creaking sound of large gears filled the cockpit of the shuttle, and then a loud click echoed through the room.  Without any further preamble, River hit a button on the dash and gripped the steering wheel to guide them away from the ship.  
  
Rose felt a rush of excitement as the sky came into full view.  They were speeding along beside  _Serenity_ , low enough that people and were still visible but looked like tiny ants.  
  
“So, what’s the plan then?” Rose asked, turning to her pilot.  
  
“We’re going fishing,” River said with an enigmatic smile.  
  
Something clicked in Rose’s brain, and she remembered dangling from a barrage balloon in the middle of the London Blitz until a handsome man with an invisible spaceship reeled her in.  
  
“You improvised a gravity funnel!” she guessed excitedly.  
  
River frowned and shot her a sideways glance.  
  
“No.  Reversed polarity of the graviscalar particles in the engine’s core.  Sonic’s the hook.  Magnetic pull of its particles will be drawn to the core’s.”  
  
“Same thing,” Rose said, grinning again.  
  
“He’ll need you,” River said.  
  
Rose glanced behind her, scanning the velvet-draped walls of the shuttle  
  
“Of course.  To reel him in.  What if I tear some of this cloth and knot it around my leg?  I could sort of swing my body out and grab him.”  
  
“No,” River said immediately.  
  
Rose looked over at her, surprised.  
  
“Trust me, I can do it.  I won the bronze on my under-sevens gymnastics team,” she assured her.  
  
“Not what I meant, Bad Wolf,” River said, shaking her head.  “Take over,” she ordered, standing.  
  
Rose scrambled up from the co-pilot’s seat and took River’s place as the girl moved behind her.  
  
“Um, River?  I’m not sure I know how to fly this!” she called back to her, hands shaking on the wheel.  
  
She glanced back and saw River tearing off a long swath of scarlet fabric, knotting it to another piece, and then another, apparently unconcerned by the sudden shakiness of the shuttle’s flight.  
  
“He’ll need you, Bad Wolf, or he’ll be lost,” she said.  
  
Rose tried to maintain a normal breathing pattern as she steadied the shuttle and kept it flying alongside  _Serenity_.  It was only after a couple of seconds that she started to understand what River meant, not that the Doctor needed her now, but that he needed her  _always_.  And as much as she knew she could never  _stop_  loving the Doctor, she also knew that what he’d revealed to her that morning had changed everything.  
  
“I don’t know if I can give myself to him like that,” Rose said softly.  
  
She was unsure that River had even heard her, because no reply came. When she chanced another look behind her, she saw the girl flitting about the room, weaving the fabric around various objects to create some sort of complicated pulley system.  Maybe she’d misinterpreted River’s statement.  Surely she couldn’t be trying to talk about Rose’s love life in the middle of a rescue operation.  
  
“Look, this probably isn’t the right time to t—”  
  
“You scared him,” River interrupted her.  “You were a mirror, and he hates himself.”  
  
As she spoke her last words, she settled back into the cockpit and knotted one end of the fabric around the base of the gear console.  Rose released the steering wheel and shifted back to the co-pilot’s seat with a frown.  
  
“The Doctor loves himself,” she countered.  “You’ve heard him go on about his brilliance.”  
  
River shot her a deeply unconvinced look, and Rose shrugged her shoulders in defeat.  
  
“Yeah, okay.  So?  The Bad Wolf scared the Doctor.  And so he wiped it from my memory.  That’s not something I can just move on from, yeah? What if he does it again?”  
  
Although she was frustrated with River, she was genuinely asking now.  If River had the answer, she was willing to listen.  
  
“You be the doctor,” the girl said.  
  
Rose squinted at her.  
  
“What?  River, I don’t understand.”  
  
“Memory wipe is a symptom, not the etiology,” River said matter-of-factly.  “Palliative treatments only reduce symptoms.  Causality is key.  Cure the disease—”  
  
“River!” Rose interjected.  “River, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand a word.”  
  
“He hates himself.  That’s the cause.  You need to cure that first,” she rephrased.  
  
Rose thought about the Doctor’s worst moments: his guilt over Gwyneth’s death with the Gelth; his regret at leaving the Ood behind on Krop-Tor; the relentless horror of the Time War; his eternal loneliness.  
  
“I can’t cure that.  Guilt is part of the Doctor’s world; it’s a part of  _him_ ,” she said miserably.  
  
“He needs you,” River said firmly.  
  
Rose stared at the girl, even after she turned back to the controls.  If the Doctor could accept her, all of her, Bad Wolf included, could he eventually forgive himself?  
  
“Here comes the fish,” River announced, breaking Rose out of her contemplation.  
  
Rose craned her neck and peered over the edge of the shuttle to see a tiny brown shape approaching from the below.  After a few seconds, the figure came into sharper focus.  The Doctor was floating upwards as if being reeled in by an invisible line.  He was the fish, and clutched in the hand he stuck out straight above him was the hook, the sonic screwdriver, which was emitting its blue light.  
  
“Brilliant,” Rose murmured.  
  
He was heading straight for  _Serenity_ , towards the wall at which River had aimed the G-line, but as he moved, something else came into view.  
  
Clinging to the Doctor’s ankles was Eden Wing.

“Get ready,” River said.  
   
“Wait, The Engineer’s got hold—”  
   
“I’ll take care of that,” River said over her.  
   
Throwing her one more concerned glance, Rose left the cockpit and moved to the shuttle doors.  She grabbed the loose end of the crimson fabric and knotted is tightly around her ankle.  She knotted it three times, testing its strength with her hands before sliding open the metal door.  The wind nearly threw her back into the shuttle, but she managed to grip the edges of the exit and peek outside.  
   
There was the Doctor, anchored to the side of  _Serenity_  by the sonic screwdriver, and dangling from his feet, The Engineer.  Her tailored suit and slicked back hair were somehow undisturbed even in the high winds of the lower atmosphere, and the Doctor appeared to be shouting something at her, although Rose couldn’t hear a word.  
   
River maneuvered the shuttle slightly above  _Serenity_ ’s tail and steadied them.  
   
“Jump!” she shouted.  
   
Rose didn’t need to be told twice.  She stepped out of the shuttle doors and plummeted twenty feet down until the fabric snapped her to a halt like a bungee cord without the elasticity.  She let out a grunt at the force, but quickly pushed aside the discomfort and found the Doctor dangling only a few feet away.  
   
“Rose!” he shouted.  
   
“Grab my hands!” she hollered over the wind.  
   
“I’m afraid we have a stowaway!” he shouted back, as if she hadn’t noticed the woman attached to his leg.  
   
“YOU CAN’T LEAVE, DOCTOR!  WE HAD A DEAL!” Eden Wing bellowed.  
   
“We’ll just have to bring her with us!” Rose replied, holding out her hands to him.  
   
He reached out his free hand to her uninjured one and gripped her forearm tightly.  Rose brought her bandaged hand down and grabbed the elbow of his arm for extra leverage.  
   
“Let go!” she shouted.  
   
With a nod, the Doctor clicked the button on the sonic, ceasing its signal.  Instantly, the device came unstuck from the side of the ship. The Doctor and his barnacle swung free.  Rose yelped as the shuttle dipped under the pressure of their combined weight, but it quickly leveled out again.   
   
With a sudden wave of alarm, she realized that there was no possible way that a skinny teenaged girl could lift pull three adults twenty feet up by a strip of cloth, no matter how intricate her pulley system was.  Why it hadn’t occurred to her earlier, she had no idea, but she stared up at the shuttle with a growing sense of dread. Rose looked down and was hit with an unexpected rush of vertigo, but the Doctor was looking upwards, past her, and he grinned.  
   
“Going up!” he announced gleefully.  
   
A split second later, Rose registered something large and white go whizzing past her. She had no idea what it was, but a moment after that, the three of them were propelled upwards as if they weighed nothing at all.  She found her back was to the shuttle doorway, but managed to kick her heel out behind her and get an inch of purchase on the floor.  She fell backwards into the shuttle, the Doctor landing on top of her, and before she could try to rise, Eden Wing was scrambling up over the both of them.  
   
“Land this shuttle immediately!” she snapped at River, chest still heaving with exertion.  
   
Silently, River pulled a knife from her boot, something Rose hadn’t known was there.  The Engineer froze, but River continued to move.  She brought the knife down on the end of the crimson fabric that was tied around the gear console, and it zipped across the floor and out the open doors.  A moment later, Rose felt a sharp tug on her leg and she cried out.  Now the weight of whatever white object had sailed past them as a counterweight was pulling on her ankle, and if the Doctor wasn’t still on top of her, she’d have surely sailed right out the doors with it.  
   
“I’ve got you,” the Doctor murmured in her ear.  
   
But she needn’t have worried.  With the flick of her wrist, River sent the knife slicing through the air.  The Engineer gasped, but the blade didn’t come anywhere near her. Instead it ripped directly through the fabric that trailed from Rose’s leg down and out of the shuttle, freeing her from the tether.  The knife disappeared out the shuttle doors, along with the remains of crimson silk.  
   
“I owe Inara a new tub,” River noted, apparently unconcerned by the presence of their enemy onboard.  
   
Rose laughed.  She couldn’t help it.  A loud giggle escaped her throat as she realized that River must have just sent Inara’s heavy porcelain tub plummeting to the ground.  Still on top of her, the Doctor began to laugh as well, and soon they were both cackling at the absolute insanity of their situation.  
   
“Sorry to interrupt,” The Engineer said dryly. “But there’s still the tiny matter of our deal.”  
   
The Doctor composed himself and carefully stood.  He helped Rose to her feet before replying.  
   
“The deal’s off.  I’ve changed my mind.”  
   
“Then I guess I’ve changed  _my_  mind.  Every last person on this crew will die a very painful death,” she said coldly.  
   
The Doctor narrowed his eyes at her, but River spoke before he could.  
   
“You miscalculated.”  
   
The Engineer whirled around to face her.  
   
“Excuse me, little girl?”  
   
River stood abruptly.  
   
“River!  Did you forget you’re flying us?” Rose said, alarmed.  
   
“Just keep us where I have her, Bad Wolf,” River said, eyes still on The Engineer.  
   
Rose rushed across the room to take the controls just as River abandoned them.  They were flying at the same speed as  _Serenity_ , hovering over her, and Rose made her best attempt to keep them there.  The Doctor didn’t take his eyes off of The Engineer, and Rose felt somewhat encouraged by that.  He must have trusted her flying abilities more than she did herself.  
   
“The Doctor isn’t the most valuable person here,” River said, moving closer to Eden.  
   
“Oh?  And I suppose you think that  _you_  are more valuable?” Eden scoffed, giving River a patronizing smile.  
   
“My name is River Tam, and I was a student at The Academy,” River replied.  
   
Rose glanced backwards to see The Engineer’s features go slack in absolute shock.  River moved closer still.  She glided across floor like a ballerina in combat boots.  Eden eyed her carefully, and when River drew too near, she took a cautious step backwards.  Then, without warning, River launched forward. Her arms closed around The Engineer, and both of them went hurtling out the open shuttle doors.  
   
“River, NO!” the Doctor screamed.  
   
But it was too late.  Rose watched in horror as two bodies fell at least thirty feet and slammed into the roof of  _Serenity_.  But her horror quickly turned to awe when River leapt up as if the force was nothing more than a minor trip down the stairs.   
   
Despite the extreme winds, River planted her boots on the roof.  Then she was running again.  She went at The Engineer with the ease of a skilled fighter, delivering a series of kicks that forced her further and further towards the side of the craft.  Then, with a final spinning kick, River’s boot connected with Eden’s stomach, propelling her over the edge.   
   
Rose saw River step up to the edge of  _Serenity_  to watch The Engineer fall to her death.  Then the teenager hunkered down and clutched the metal grooves to avoid being flung off herself.   
   
Rose let out a shaky breath, but there was no time to process what she’d just witnessed, because a male figure suddenly came into view.  
   
“Doctor, someone else is down there!”  
   
She glanced back and saw that the Doctor was observing events through the still-open doors of the shuttle, brow creased with concern.  
   
“Whoever it is came out of the emergency hatch on the roof.  He’s crew.”  
   
Sure enough, River looked up and reached her arms out to the unknown person.  He was wearing a harness to keep him from flying off the roof, and when he was close enough, he wrapped the girl up in his arms and carefully returned to the open ceiling hatch.  
   
Rose heard a noise and glanced backwards to see the Doctor sliding the shuttle doors closed.  He made his way to her and she gratefully gave up the controls, shifting over to the co-pilot’s seat again.   
   
Rose reached up to the button that River had used earlier to communicate with Wash.  
   
“Wash, what just happened?  Is everyone okay?” she asked.  
   
Wash’s voice crackled over the speakers.  
   
“ _Mal just pulled her inside.  That’s a little maneuver we like to call the ‘Jubal Early,’ for the last guy we used it on.  Of course, last time we were floating in dead space and not cruising through the air at 4-clicks, but a little variation can be—_ ”  
   
“How did Mal even know to be there?” Rose interrupted.  
   
“ _River called down to us while you all were hanging around,_ ” he said.  
   
“Very funny,” Rose said, smiling despite herself.  
   
“ _I try._ ”  
   
The Doctor had the shuttle near its port when he spoke.  
   
“Wash, we’re ready to dock,” he said.  
   
“ _Go right ahead, Doctor.  And welcome back._ ”  
   
The Doctor smiled.  He eased Inara’s shuttle into the landing dock, and the heavy gears twisted back into place.  All the while, Rose was going over in her mind again everything that had happened since they set down on Verbena.  All of the ways she could have lost the Doctor.   
   
What if she hadn’t been able to fly the shuttle just right?  What if his grip on the sonic screwdriver had slipped?  What if The Engineer had been armed?  What if River hadn’t understood his cryptic message on the psychic paper in the first place?  
   
A rush of air indicated that the shuttle was once again airtight to  _Serenity_ , and the Doctor turned towards her with a big grin.  
   
“Thanks for the lift.  Although, I guess since I’m the one who actually flew us back—”  
   
“You bloody idiot!” Rose shouted suddenly.   
   
Even she was surprised by the suddenness of her anger, but she didn’t fight it.  The Doctor was rendered momentarily dumb by her outburst, and she continued to yell at him.  
   
“Making me think you were sacrificing yourself to save me again!  Do you have any idea how worried I was?  How betrayed I felt?  I’m  _so_   _angry_  at you, I could just—”  
   
Rather than finish her sentence, she reached for his tie and yanked him forward, up and out of his chair.  She was certain that she was about to strangle him with it, but then his lips were so close and it was very distracting, and suddenly it seemed like a much better idea to kiss him.  So she did.   
   
She poured all of her frustration and anxiety and relief into the kiss, but then his lips parted so readily, and she became more caught up the motion of his tongue against hers.  It was fast and forceful, and when she released him, he fell back into the pilot’s seat with a thud, a dazed look in his eyes.   
   
It took her a moment to steady her breathing, but when she felt able, she risked a glance at him, and was taken aback by the very satisfied smirk on his face.  
   
“Mixed signals?” he said lightly.  
   
Deciding that she was still angry with him, she glared and stood from the co-pilots seat.  She made for the curtained doorway when the Doctor snaked his hand around her waist and she suddenly found herself in his lap.  
   
“Wha—”  
   
His lips were on hers before she could finish the word.  It was slower than her kiss, and not the least bit angry.  There was a sort of reverence in the gentle way he brushed his lips over hers, and she could feel them curl into a smile as he pulled away.  He didn’t withdraw far.  He kept his forehead pressed to hers, and she didn’t struggle.   
   
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.  
   
She didn’t reply.  He brought his nose downwards until he was nuzzling at her neck.   
   
“But I knew you’d come for me,” he murmured into her skin.  
   
She thought back to the very beginning of their adventure, back before they knew anyone on  _Serenity_ , and they’d had to spin a wild tale to gain their trust.  When the Doctor was supposed to have been taken just like River, and it was Rose who was supposed to have come to his rescue.  He’d said the same words all those days ago, and she was sure he’d believed it then too.  
   
Rose pulled back, but remained in the Doctor’s lap.  She took his face in her hands and tilted his chin up until their eyes met.  
   
“I’ll always come for you,” she said seriously.  “No matter what.”  
   
She would, even if he sent her away from Satellite Five or threw himself down into the endless pit of an impossible planet.   
   
He nodded.  
   
“I think I’m starting to get that,” he said with the hint of a smile.  
   
Rose pulled herself up from the Doctor’s lap and went to the curtain.  
   
“You know, for such an unparalleled genius, you’re a really slow learner,” she said before exiting the cockpit.   
   
He followed her into the main room of the shuttle and as she made for the exit, he spoke again.  
   
“I don’t deserve you.”  
   
She looked back at him, startled.  
   
“We deserve  _each other_ ,” she told him firmly.  “Now, come on.  Kaylee’ll be beside herself in the engine room.   
   
He stared at her like she was some kind of alien, which she was, of course, to him.  But he followed her nevertheless.  They found Kaylee in much the state that Rose expected, tears streaming down her face.  But she was no longer gripping the G-line; Simon had taken her place. Rose could imagine him rushing to the engine room after hearing her sobs and gallantly offering to replace her shaky hands with his.  He really was such a gentleman.   
   
“Come now, a bit of fiddling and she’ll be good as new!” the Doctor assured Kaylee.  
   
Simon jumped in, backing the Doctor up despite not seeming to know the first thing about engines.   
   
“Yes.  This looks completely fixable.  Piece of cake,” the young man added uncertainly.  
   
Kaylee put on a brave face for the three of them, and allowed them to usher her into the cockpit, where the rest of the crew was waiting.  
   
“So, what now, Captain?” Wash asked.   
   
“I’m open to suggestions,” Mal said, eyeing his first mate.  
   
“We shouldn’t make planetfall here.  The Engineer didn’t travel alone, and her friends’ll be lookin’ for us,” Zoe said.  
   
“We can’t leave atmo,” Kaylee said.  “At least, not yet.  We ain’t got a runnin’ Grav Dampener.”  
   
Rose saw her studiously avoid River’s guilty gaze.  
   
“Well, you offered Rose and I a place to stay when we needed it.  It’s only fair for us to offer the same hospitality,” the Doctor said, throwing Rose a wink.  
   
“We can’t abandon  _Serenity_  on Verbena,” Mal said firmly.  
   
Kaylee gasped at the mere thought, and the Doctor rushed to correct him.  
   
“No, no, of course not.  I can have us back on  _Serenity_  in no time.  Literally. But we need a safe place to stop and think, and the TARDIS is it.”  
   
Mal paused, considering this.  All eyes were on him.  He gave a curt nod.  
   
“Wash, direct us towards the landing lot.”  
   
“Scratch that, Wash,” the Doctor said, shaking his head.  “We didn’t follow proper parking procedure, I’m afraid.  You’re going to want to head straight for town.  Shouldn’t take more than a minute.  There’s a pub there, Zoe and Mal know the one, lovely ambience, if a bit stabby for my taste, but the point is we parked round back.”  
   
No one spoke for a moment.  Then the captain turned to the Doctor.  
   
“You parked your ship on some barkeep’s lawn?” Mal asked.  
   
The Doctor shrugged.  
   
“It’s very compact.  Doubt anyone’s even noticed.”  
   
Rose laughed, and Mal gave her a strange look.  Then he gave a shrug too.  
   
“Well, who am I to argue with a Time Lord.”  
   
Wash turned the ship around as Jayne spoke up.  
   
“Are we on that again?  The Doctor’s an  _alien_?”  
   
“Well, that label’s a bit subjective, isn’t it?  Let’s just stick with ‘Time Lord,’” the Doctor told him.  
   
“ _Shen jing bing_ ,” Jayne muttered, shaking his head.  
   
Rose looked up over the dash at the broadening landscape of dusty roads.  It seemed like a lifetime ago that she’d stepped out of the TARDIS onto those roads, expecting to see a grand ballroom a few thousand years in the future.  Below them, a flash of blue caught her eye, and she grinned.  
   
“There she is, Doctor.”  
   
She pointed up ahead, and the Doctor adopted a grin to match hers.  
   
“There’s who?” Shepherd Book asked.  
   
“The TARDIS,” Rose happily replied.  
   
“That’s no one’s ship.  It’s a big blue box,” Jayne said.  
   
“Can’t it be both?” the Doctor countered.  
   
Wash squinted at their destination, his eyes catching the blue box in question.  
   
“Uh, guys?  I hate to point out the obvious, but we can’t all fit in there.”  
   
“Sure you can,” the Doctor replied.  
   
“ _Cái guài!_ ” Jayne barked.  
   
“Come on, Wash.  Set down right here.”  
   
The Doctor reached over the controls to indicate the space between two buildings.  
   
“What?  In the middle of the street?” the pilot asked.  
   
The Doctor nodded.  
   
“Why not?”  
   
“Um, I dunno.  Might draw  _some_  attention,” the blond man replied slowly, as if explaining things to a simple child.  
   
“I told you that I can have you back in no time, didn’t I?” the Doctor said, practically winking.  
   
Wash looked helplessly at Mal.  The Captain squinted at the roads below, then shrugged his shoulders.  
   
“Do it,” he ordered.  
   
The saloon doors of the nearby shops rattled as  _Serenity’s_  turbines wound down.  As soon as the bay door lowered, Rose dashed the few feet to the TARDIS, an irrepressible giddiness driving her forward.  A few people stumbled out from the bar and stared at the large ship that had just landed in the middle of the road, but she barely noticed them.  She fumbled for the key around her neck and jammed it into the lock.  
   
“Missed her?” said a voice in her ear.  
   
As she twisted the key and pushed the door open before shooting the Doctor a grin.  
   
“Feels like it’s been ages!” she sighed as she climbed the few steps to the console room.  
   
“You can’t seriously think that we’re all going to fit in here,” Rose heard Simon saying outside.  
   
“Come in and see for yourself!” Rose called out gleefully.  
   
She and the Doctor leaned back against the time rotor and shared a knowing smile before watching the crew of  _Serenity_  stream in.  
   
The younger doctor entered the room a second later.  He took one look inside and froze.  River brushed past him without acknowledging his shock and strode directly towards the rotor.   
   
“It’s… it’s bigger… on the inside…” Simon stammered.  
   
“You get used to it,” Rose assured him.  
   
The rest of the crew followed, and Rose delighted in watching their reactions, which ranged from Jayne’s string of Mandarin curses to Mal’s bewildered, “Huh,” to Wash entering and exiting the TARDIS no fewer than five times, each time sputtering in confusion.  
   
Book approached them, staring around the room in wonder.  The holy man looked like he was trying to make sense of a true miracle.  
   
“You’re not really a doctor, are you?” he asked the Doctor.  
   
“I’m as much a doctor as you are a shepherd,” the Doctor replied enigmatically.  
   
Before Rose could ask exactly what he meant by that, Kaylee walked up to the time rotor with a look of complete awe.  
   
“Is this the engine?  What’s she run on?” the mechanic asked.  
   
And just like that, Rose knew the Doctor was lost.  His face lit up in utter joy, and he started racing around the rotor, explaining bits and bobs to Kaylee at warp speed.  
   
Rose smiled and shook her head.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mal and Inara peeking down the corridor.  
   
“How far do these hallways go?” Mal asked her.  
   
“Haven’t found an end yet,” Rose replied honestly.  
   
“ _Wǒde mā_!” Inara gasped, spinning around once more and taking in the enormity of the console room.  
   
Leaving the pair to explore, Rose noticed that River had planted herself directly in front of the viewing monitor.  
   
“What are you looking at, River?” she asked.  
   
Zoe was watching over the girl’s shoulder, and she shrugged as Rose drew closer.  
   
“It’s just a map,” the first mate said when River failed to respond.  
   
Rose stepped up to River’s other side and peered at the screen.  Zoe was right, it was a map, but not of anyplace Rose recognized.  River’s fingers flew across the controls on the rotor as if she’d been using a TARDIS her entire life.  When she reached up and twisted a dial on the monitor, one area came into larger focus.  
   
“I found her,” River whispered.  
   
“Found who, sweetie?” Zoe asked.  
   
“I FOUND HER!” River shouted.  
   
Rose jumped, as did Zoe.  All eyes were on River now, but she was no longer looking at the screen.  She was staring directly at the Doctor.  When the crew saw this, nine heads swiveled to face him as well.  
   
The Doctor set down the equipment that he was showing to Kaylee, which happened to be a large mallet, and Rose stepped aside to give him a clear view of the image on the monitor.  
   
“Who did she find?” Zoe asked him.  
   
The Doctor’s eyes widened.   
   
“I think it’s time we all took a trip,” he said.  
   
“Doctor?” Rose said questioningly.  
   
The Doctor turned to address the crew at large.  
   
“We’re going to Miranda.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:  
> Wuh de tyen, ah = Dear God in heaven!  
> Shen jing bing = lunatic  
> Cái guài = Yeah, right! Like hell!  
> Wǒde mā! = Oh my!
> 
>  
> 
> End Notes:  
> So this chapter took me an insanely long time to write but it was an absolute blast. Please tell me what you think! And I left you with another cliffhanger!


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the dialogue in this chapter comes directly from the movie Serenity, which follows the series finale of Firefly. I’ve kept it to a bare minimum, but it’s there.

 

  
  
 **Chapter Twenty-Seven**  
  
The Doctor detected a single beacon of power on Miranda aimed the TARDIS at it.  A few clangs of the mallet later, and they were in flight.  
  
He relished in the familiar sounds of his beautiful ship as they spun into the Vortex and back out again.  The mechanical wheezing, gears that roared like prehistoric beasts, and the loud thumping rotor, keeping time like a tympani; it was all music to his ears.  _Serenity_ ’s crew hastily grabbed hold of whatever they could in the tumult, but the Doctor and Rose rode it out like cowboys at a rodeo, whooping for joy.  When they landed, they were the only two still on their feet.  
  
There were faint groans as the rest of the crew stood and shook off aftereffects of the turbulence.  
  
“Where the hell did you learn to fly this thing?” Jayne growled as he stood.  
  
“Completely self-taught!” the Doctor proudly announced.  
  
“There’s a surprise,” Zoe muttered.  
  
Still, when the Doctor extended his hand to help her up, she begrudgingly took it.  
  
“You said we were going to Miranda?  Is that a planet?” Simon asked, straightening his vest.  
  
“Yup,” the Doctor replied, popping the ‘P.’  He spun the monitor around to the younger man and pointed at the furthest sphere on the screen.  
  
“See?  There she is—Well, there  _we_  are, now,” he corrected.  “Right at the far edge of the Burnham Quadrant.”  
  
“We can’t be in the Burnham Quadrant.  It’s impossible,” Inara said as Mal helped her to her feet.  
  
“It’s  _improbable_.  From your point of view.  For me and Rose it’s quite expected, actually.”  
  
Rose flashed him a smile.  
  
“We walked into a blue box a couple of minutes ago.  We can’t’ve traveled millions of miles across the ‘Verse, through  _Reaver_  territory no less,” Mal informed him.  
  
The Doctor would normally milk the disbelief of newcomers for his own personal enjoyment, but they had important things to do, so he spoke hastily as he moved to the door.  
  
“Your confusion is understandable, so allow me to explain a few things:  This blue box is my ship; she’s called the TARDIS, which stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space; and, as her name implies, she can hop across galaxies through eras with the greatest of ease.  Rose, have I left anything out?” he said, throwing his companion an inquiring glance.  
  
Rose paused for a moment before remarking, “Well, there’s the pool.”  
  
“Ah, of course.   _And_ she has an Olympic sized swimming pool,” he added.  “Any questions?”  
  
His words were met with blank stares all around.  It was Wash who broke the silence.  
  
“Just a couple,” he said faintly.  
  
“River, NO!”  
  
Simon’s shout startled everyone.  He raced across the room to stand between River and the exit that she had been aiming for.  
  
“I remember now,” Simon blurted out, taking his sister gently by the hands.  “I’ve heard of Miranda before.  It’s a black rock.  Something like ten years ago, terraforming failed here.”  
  
“So, are we actually accepting that the magical blue box brought us here?” Wash asked, incredulous.  “Is this just a thing that we believe now?”  
  
“Psychic paper, sonic screwdriver, two hearts,” the Rose listed off.  “Is it really that much of a leap?”  
  
Wash fell silent.  Shepherd Book had been frowning, but suddenly his eyes widened.  
  
“Simon is right.  I remember something a while back about Miranda.  Thirty million people died.  It’s not safe,” he said.  
  
“It wasn’t terraforming that failed,” the Doctor said solemnly.  “Go ahead, River.  Let’s show them.”  
  
“Now, hold up just a minute!” Mal shouted.  
  
The Doctor turned to him, wordlessly asking what was wrong.  
  
“We don’t know if the O-2 levels can sustain life.  We don’t know if grav’s earth norm.  We don’t even know if the temperature’s hospitable,” the captain listed off.  
  
“The TARDIS wouldn’t take us here if it wasn’t safe,” Rose assured him.  
  
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry if I don’t take your word for it, but I’d like to see some readings that confirm that’s the case before I let my crew stroll on out there and we all suffocate to death,” Mal snapped.  
  
Rose looked ready with a retort, and the Doctor thought it best to step in.  He tilted the monitor towards the captain and pulled up the necessary files.  
  
“All environmental readouts,” he said, gesturing at the monitor.  
  
Mal stepped forward and his eyes skimmed over the screen’s contents.  
  
“Sir?” Zoe asked.  
  
“Looks normal,” Mal admitted.  “But you keep your Le Mat ready, Zoe.  Don’t know who might’ve taken up on this rock if it’s a haven away from Alliance control.”  
  
“It’s not a haven for anyone.  There’s no need for guns,” the Doctor said firmly.  
  
Jayne cocked his rifle.  
  
“There’s always a need for guns,” the mercenary said.  
  
“I wouldn’t have even allowed them onboard if I’d thought of it ahead of time—”  
  
“Oi, look at that!  Something you  _didn’t_  think of,” Rose gasped in mock-awe.  
  
“—But now they stay here.  You won’t need them,” the Doctor said, giving Rose a sharp look for her interruption.  She stuck her tongue out at him in response.  
  
Zoe looked to her captain for orders.  His jaw was set; he eyed the Doctor appraisingly.  Finally, he gave his first mate a curt nod, and she set her weapon down.  He did the same, then turned to Jayne.  
  
“You too, Jayne.”  
  
The mercenary clutched his gun like a child being told to put his toys away.  
  
“Gorram it, Mal, you just gonna let the Doctor lead you like a pig to slaughter?” he snapped.  
  
“I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna do,” Mal said dangerously.  “I’m  _not_  gonna let a member of my crew disobey a direct order.”  
  
With one last look of contempt at both the Doctor and Mal, Jayne dropped his weapon.  While he knew that Jayne was probably in a bad mood (after all, the large man had already been forced to drop his gun once that day), it didn’t really concern the Doctor.  There were bigger issues to contend with now.  
  
He saw the worry in the faces of the crew, but Simon reluctantly released his sister, and no one stopped her as she approached the doors this time.  He saw Kaylee hold her breath when River pushed on the wooden doors.  
  
 _It’s so bright._  
  
That was the Doctor’s overriding thought as he exited the TARDIS.  The harsh sunlight bounced off angular white buildings in a way that created a haze of sterile light.  Somehow the light was intense without providing warmth or comfort; it merely emphasized the bleakness of the urban landscape.  
  
They were in the middle of a large city.  There was an office park to their left and a shopping center with pedestrian walkways to their right.  And all around them was absolute  _silence_.  
  
“Ain’t there  _anythin’_  alive here?  Some furry critter?  Birds?” Kaylee asked, biting her lip.  
  
“Oh god.  Doctor, there’s a body,” Rose called out.  
  
The crew turned to see Rose staring through the windshield of a small hovercraft.  It’s pilot reclined in the cockpit, a corpse.  The pilot had been there long enough that no skin remained on his skeletal body.  
  
“He’s just sittin’ there,” Jayne said, peering inside.  “He didn’t crash or nothin’.  Why’s he just sittin’?”  
  
“Here’s another one,” Zoe called out.  
  
The body was lying across the cement sidewalk, flesh withered away to nothing.  
  
“No entry wounds, fractures,” she continued, eyes roaming over the skeleton.  
  
“Poison?” Mal guessed.  
  
Only the Doctor and River knew the truth, and they said nothing, yet.  This wasn’t something they could explain in so many words.  It had to be discovered for oneself.  
  
Tentatively, the group branched out from the TARDIS, examining just the surrounding structures.  Every footstep echoed against the walls of the lifeless buildings.  The Doctor felt Rose slip her hand in his, and he allowed her to tug him along behind her for comfort.  He consulted his sonic with his free hand and saw that the only beacon of power was a few meters to the north.  Just as he was about to announce this to the group, a blaring noise started up.  
  
Rose gasped and spun around, and when the Doctor followed her lead he saw that the underside of a pedestrian highway was now lit up like a billboard in Times Square.  Mal had tripped some sort of motion sensor, and now a male announcer was espousing the benefits of a particular brand of toothpaste.  
  
He turned and saw Kaylee sink back against the glass windows of the office park in relief, only to trip another sort of sensor.  The lights in the office buzzed to life one by one, and as they did, more and more horrific images came into view through the windows.  
  
Directly behind the glass that Kaylee leaned her back against was the corpse of a man, but this one wasn’t merely a skeleton.  Flesh still clung to his decomposing face.  Only his eyelids had rotted completely away, leaving his eyeballs with a gruesome bulging appearance.  Simon noticed as well, and tried to save her from a nasty surprise.  
  
“Kaylee,” Simon said warily.  “Don’t—”  
  
But it was too late.  At his cautious words, she spun around and screamed when her eyes landed on the body.  Her scream drew everyone else’s attention, and soon they were all peering in through the windows.  Corpses.  Dozens of them, sitting at desks with hands still poised over their keyboards, leaning against copy machines mid-project, curled up on the floor, all very slowly rotting away.  
  
“Why’re they preserved?  They’re like mummies or something,” Rose murmured.  
  
“Place must’ve gone hermetic when the power blew. Sealed ‘em,” Mal said.  
  
“What’re they doing?  What’s everybody doing?” Kaylee asked hysterically.  
  
Simon frowned.  
  
“There’s no unusual discoloration. Nobody’s doubled over or showing signs of pain,” he noted.  
  
“Well, there’s gasses that kill painless, right?” Mal asked.  
  
“They didn’t fall,” Inara observed, dismayed.  “None of them. They just… lay down.”  
  
Rose dropped the Doctor’s hand, and he edged away from her to check on River.  The girl wasn’t peering through the windows with the others.  She was making a slow circle in the center of the sidewalk, clutching at her hair.  
  
“ _Run-tse duh shang-dee, ching dai-wuhtzo_... make them stop!” she moaned.  
  
The Doctor was at her side in an instant, and Simon joined him a split second after that.  
  
“River, it’s all right.  There’s nothing to be afraid of here anymore,” the Doctor murmured, wrapping his arms around her in a protective embrace.  
  
“They're everywhere. Every city, every house, every room; they're all inside me! I can hear them all and they're saying... NOTHING! GET UP!” she screamed.  
  
Simon stood by helplessly, watching his sister devolve into the familiar frightened girl of the past.  The Doctor tightened his hold on her.  
  
“They’re gone, River.  They can’t get up,” the Doctor whispered.  
  
“Please, get up,” River whimpered to no one.  “ _Wuo-shang mayer, maysheen byen shr-to_. Please God, make me a stone.”  
  
Everyone fell silent.  The Doctor closed his eyes against River’s hair, wishing fervently that he could take away her torment.  
  
He knew exactly what she was feeling.  He didn’t strictly believe in souls, as a rule, but there was  _something_  left behind in this tomb of a city.  The potential energy of all the millions of the dead still peppered the air.  Their spirits infused the space as if they floated on the wind, omnipresent and inescapable.  They didn’t scream in fear or pain.  They didn’t say a word.  They were just  _there_ , wasting away.  He felt it too.  
  
“Sure would feel better with my  _gun_ ,” Jayne said pointedly.  
  
“Jayne,” Zoe warned.  
  
“Well, River’s right!” Jayne snapped.  “Everybody’s dead.  This whole world’s dead for no reason.”  
  
“Not for no reason,” the Doctor said.  
  
Jayne whirled on him.  
  
“If you know what happened here, then why ain’t you sayin’ anythin’?” he demanded.  
  
He could tell that the rest of the crewmembers were staring at him, wordlessly asking the same question.  
  
“Let’s get to the beacon,” he said, marching due north.  
  
“Beacon?” Wash prompted.  
  
“There’s a single electrical impulse still transmitting on the whole of this planet, and it’s in there,” the Doctor said.  
  
He stopped in front of a shuttle.  The cockpit was obscured from view due to the fact that it had apparently crash-landed headfirst into the side of the building.  Along the craft’s side was painted the label “Research and Rescue” in bold red letters.  
  
The Doctor entered through the rear door without waiting to see if the others followed. It was dark inside, but he illuminated his path with the sonic screwdriver.  When he stepped into the main control room, he fiddled with some switches, and gradually, the power in the ship blinked on.  The rest of the crew and Rose piled in behind him, glancing warily around.  
  
“This ship’s banged up all to hell,” Jayne grunted.  
  
The Doctor found River staring at a clear plastic memory cylinder.  
  
“Is that it?” he asked her.  
  
She nodded.  
  
“Is it what?” Simon asked.  
  
When the Doctor responded, he spoke to the room at large.  
  
“River shared something with me this morning.  Her most terrifying memory.  This.”  
  
He held the cylinder up.  
  
“A video wave?” Mal asked.  
  
“She didn’t view it directly.  Someone in the Alliance saw this, and River accidentally picked it up when she was at the Academy,” the Doctor explained.  
  
No one asked how exactly River had picked up the memory.  They knew.  
  
“What’s it show?” Kaylee asked.  
  
The Doctor hesitated.  His hand hovered over the chip port as he wrestled with his conscience.  But he knew what had to be done.  
  
“You need to see it for yourself,” he replied.  
  
River shuddered violently then, and the Doctor put a hand on her shoulder.  
  
“We aren’t going to watch it again, River,” he told her.  “We’ll wait outside.  Rose,” he continued, turning towards his companion.  “You don’t need to see it either.”  
  
But Rose shook her head.  
  
“You can’t shield me from all the dark things in the universe, Doctor.”  
  
He wanted to argue with her.  They would be leaving this universe soon, and it would do her no good to have the memory of this terrible mistake.  But, of course, she was Rose, and she felt connected to the people of every planet they visited.  
  
So instead of trying to convince her otherwise, he simply nodded and whispered, “Okay.”  
  
He dropped the cylinder into place, and the anguished woman in the jumpsuit appeared before them as a hologram.  
  
“ _These are just a few of the images we’ve recorded_ ,” the woman began.  “ _And you can see.  It isn’t what we thought_.”  
  
The Doctor slipped his hand from Rivers shoulder to her hand, and gently led her out of the room.  
  
 _“There's been no war here. And no terraforming event. The environment is stable,”_  they heard as they exited the craft.  
  
There was a slight breeze in the air, and he sat them down a few meters from the shuttle so that they could enjoy it.  
  
“How do you feel?” he asked her.  
  
River paused to consider the question, staring intently at her shoes.  When she finally replied, she spoke slowly and deliberately.  
  
“Like there was a vice around my skull, pushing and squeezing to keep it all inside, and now, you’ve turned the screw the other way.  And for the first time, there’s space in there for me.”  
  
She looked up at him now, and the Doctor was taken aback by what he saw.  Even when she seemed happy, he could always see a sort of restrained terror in River’s eyes.  Not anymore.  She no longer had the look of a girl who was afraid of her own mind.  
  
“You can have yourself back, River,” he told her eagerly.  “You are  _so_  strong, and  _so_  brilliant, that you can be your own woman again.  Starting now.”  
  
She gave him a soft smile.  
  
“I know,” she said, with an air of wonderment.  
  
The moment was broken when the sound of screams floated out from the shuttle.  The Doctor recognized those screams.  
  
“They’re at the end of the recording,” he said.  
  
River nodded, and the screams stopped seconds after they began.  Someone had wisely decided to disengage the video chip at that point.  
  
The pair turned to watch the crew file out of the shuttle.  Mal emerged first, clutching the video cylinder in his right hand.  His jaw was clenched so tightly that the veins in his forehead stood out, and he strode right past them and stood alone, staring out over the silent city.  Zoe and Wash followed together.  Unable to meet each other’s eyes, they simply stood beside the shuttle and looked down at their joined hands.  Then came Simon, who immediately scanned the area for his sister. Seeing River straight ahead, he went to her.  
  
As he approached, he said, “It’s going to be okay.”  
  
She nodded solemnly and replied, “I know.”  
  
She slipped her arms around his back, and he held her tightly.  The Doctor couldn’t tell who was comforting whom, but then he realized it didn’t matter.  
  
Shepherd Book exited next, holding Inara’s arm.  The Companion had her face buried in the preacher’s shoulder, and he was murmuring something to her that the Doctor couldn’t hear.  He saw Kaylee emerge immediately after them, and he was positive that without Jayne and Rose on either side of her, she would have collapsed.  The young woman was shaking violently, and her face had gone deathly pale.  Once they had her seated on a cement bench, Rose carefully unwound her arm from the mechanic’s and gave Jayne a questioning look.  He nodded his assent, he could take it from here, and stayed with Kaylee while Rose got up and made her way straight for the Doctor.  
  
When she was still several feet away, he opened his arms to her, and she nearly fell into his embrace.  He heard her sniffle into his suit, which only made him hold her tighter.  
  
“I didn’t even know what Reavers were before now,” she sobbed softly into his sleeve.  
  
“Now you do,” the Doctor murmured.  
  
She pulled back to look at his face with teary eyes.  
  
“How could they do that?  How could the government pump chemicals into the air to control people?” she demanded.  
  
The Doctor shrugged his shoulders.  
  
“Does it really surprise you?” he asked quietly.  
  
She made a pained face.  
  
“Yeah,” she said honestly.  
  
That was his Rose, always seeing the best in people; even nasty little twerps like Adam or killing machines like the Daleks.  He shook his head.  
  
“You just haven’t seen enough of humanity yet,” he told her.  “Propaganda, illegal wiretapping, CCTV, RFID chips in your library books, the list goes on.  In your time and in  _all_  times, leaders try to make their population more…  _leadable_.  To make them ‘better,’ in their own vision of the ideal world.”  
  
Without warning, The Engineer’s words were ringing in his head.  “ _You shape the universe as you see fit_ ,” she had said.  
  
“That’s not you,” Rose said suddenly.  
  
She frowned up at him.  
  
“What?” he asked.  
  
She glanced around at the crew, and then gestured for him to follow her.  She moved just out of view, around the corner of the office park, before continuing.  
  
“I know you’re thinking about what The Engineer said.  But that’s not you, yeah?  She didn’t know you, Doctor.”  
  
He was momentarily stunned.  His first thought, quickly dismissed, was that she’d read his mind.  His second was that he’d accidentally spoken his thoughts aloud.  But finally he realized that the answer was simple:  This was Rose, and she had a knack for knowing just the right thing to say to a person when he or she was feeling down.  
  
Still, she wasn’t entirely correct.  
  
“The Engineer may not have known me, but she knew  _of me_.”  
  
“It’s not the same thing,” Rose said, shaking her head.  
  
“It’s my legend.  It’s how I’ll be remembered.   _The Oncoming Storm_ ,” he said glumly.  
  
She placed a hand on his forearm.  
  
“No, that’s only what the Daleks called you.  That’s not what you are to all people,” she said.  
  
But he was hardly listening.  
  
“Maybe River was right in the beginning.  Maybe I’m not a man.  I’m a gun.”  
  
His people had strict rules about intervening in the affairs of other species; namely that it wasn’t done.  Time Lords understood the cost of intervention.  How often had his attempts at saving people actually led to a worse outcome?  Satellite Five sprung to mind immediately, but there were so many times that he’d left too quickly to see the results of his actions, and then moved on without a backward glance.  
  
“You’re not a weapon; you’re the Doctor,” Rose said.  
  
He felt the pressure of her fingertips as they traveled across the top of his hand.  When her fingers curled themselves around his palm, he allowed it, but not without comment.  
  
“Look at the source.  I gave  _myself_  that name,” he said.  
  
“And I called myself Bad Wolf,” she replied with a shrug.  
  
“Right, and you’re not bad or wolf-like, so let’s not put too much stock in either name, all right?” he snapped.  
  
For a moment, she was silent, and he instantly regretted his words.  
  
“I’m only trying to help,” she said quietly.  
  
“I know,” he sighed.  
  
She gave his hand a squeeze.  
  
“And how do you know I’m not wolf-like?  I like a rare steak now and again.”  
  
He sighed again.  
  
“Rose, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but—”  
  
“Oi, you’re a good person!” she said over him.  “You  _are_.  You have to stop blaming yourself for everything bad that happens in the universe.”  
  
If this was one human saying those words to another human, they might be effective.  It would be a hyperbolic statement meant to point out the absurdity of human guilt.  But the Doctor was a Time Lord, and he could easily list off no less than a dozen times when he  _was_  individually responsible for the direction of the whole universe.  And there was no one left to come up with a statement appropriately hyperbolic for a Time Lord.  
  
“There’s no one who understands,” he muttered, more to himself than to her.  
  
“That’s not true.  Someone does,” she insisted.  
  
The Doctor peeked around the corner of the building, his eyes landing once again on River.  She and Simon were standing side-by-side, engaged in whispered conversation.  
  
“As incredible as she is, River is not a Time Lord,” he replied.  
  
“I wasn’t talking about River.”  
  
The Doctor turned to look at his companion.  
  
“Then who?” he asked.  
  
She arched an eyebrow.  
  
“I remember now.  I remember what it was like to have every possibility of every moment in time racing through my brain,” she revealed.  
  
The Doctor shook his head.  
  
“Rose it’s not—”  
  
“I know it was only for a few minutes—” she continued.  
  
“Rose—”  
  
“—and I know I’m not a Time Lord, but—”  
  
“That’s just it!” he shouted.  Rose’s mouth snapped shut, and she stared at him, eyes wide, but he pressed on.  “You did something that I never would—you obliterated the Daleks to save my life.  I would  _never_  wipe out an entire race for one person.”  
  
He was almost afraid to look at her, but when he finally risked a glance down, there was no censure in her expression.  Neither was there anger, or sadness, or anything else he would have expected.  She was giving him a soft smile, and the very gentleness of her reaction startled him more than the sharpest rebuke.  
  
“But you almost did exactly that.  Remember?” she asked.  
  
He gave her a questioning look, and she went on.  
  
“Back with the Slitheen.  When you could save the world, but lose me, and you hesitated?”  
  
How could he have forgotten?  He almost started World War III because he couldn’t bear the thought that Rose might die.  
  
“But I didn’t let it happen, did I?  And I’ll  _never_  let it happen, Doctor,” she added.  
  
He wasn’t sure who started the hug, but before he could figure it out, his face was buried in her hair.  Her arms came up around him and she started to trace her fingertips across his back in lazy circles.  
  
“We’re better together, yeah?” she murmured into his shirt.  
  
 _Better with two_.  The words echoed in his mind.  
  
“I really don’t deserve you,” he sighed.  
  
She pulled back to look at him.  
  
“You’re a good person.  What am I gonna have to do to get you to start believing that?” she asked, quirking an eyebrow.  
  
There was really no appropriate answer, but the Doctor was saved from making a reply when River appeared.  
  
“Mal says everyone back in the TARDIS,” she said abruptly.  Then she looked back and forth between the Doctor and Rose, and added, “Sorry to interrupt,” before disappearing back around the corner.  
  
“Did she seem more… lucid to you?” Rose asked, staring after the teenager.  
  
The Doctor smiled and held out his hand to her.  
  
“Let’s go,” he said.  
  
They all congregated on one side of the time rotor, silent.  The Doctor and Mal stood apart from the rest, the latter still holding the video cylinder.  The Doctor spoke first.  
  
“Twelve years ago, the Alliance sent a Search and Rescue unit to Miranda.  They’d received reports of a disturbance.  They were worried that terraforming had failed.  The truth was more horrifying than any of them could have imagined.  But worst of all, it was  _their_  fault, and the possibility of being caught horrified Parliament most of all.”  
  
He paused to shake his head.  Sometimes he wondered why he hadn’t given up on the human race altogether by now.  
  
“When this wave reached Parliament, they buried it,” he went on.  “Miranda lies beyond the realm of Alliance control, surrounded by Reavers.  They assumed that their secret was safe.  Who could possibly make it to this planet to access the original video?  Who would even know to look there?  The only other place the information existed was in the minds of the few high-ranking officials who viewed the first transmission.”  
  
“That’s where River comes in,” Mal interjected, nodding at the teenaged girl.  “They’ve been tryin’ to track her down because of this.  _This_  is what they feared she knew.  And they were right to fear, 'cause there's a universe of folk that are gonna know it too.”  
  
Mal paused to hold the cylinder up.  “They're gonna see it.  Inara was right.  When we destroyed the bugs, we also destroyed the evidence,” he continued.  “What we need is to build a case against the Alliance, one that forces people to take sides.  'Cause as sure as I know anything I know this—”  
  
He paused, and his eyes swept over the crew.  
  
“They  _will_  try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground, swept clean.  Whether it’s cutting open the brains of our children or setting loose a plague of tiny spies, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that.  I ain’t gonna let somebody tell me how to live.  So no more running.  I aim to misbehave.”  
  
The Doctor realized once again why he’d never give up on the human race:  They’d never give up on each other.  
  
“It’s like Shepherd Book told me on Paquin.  ‘If you can't do somethin’ smart, do somethin’ right,’” Jayne said.  
  
Book smiled at Jayne, and the mercenary nodded brusquely.  
  
“Do we have a plan?” Simon asked, ever practical.  
  
Mal turned to the Doctor.  
  
“Doctor, can your blue box take us to Mr. Universe?” he asked.  
  
The Doctor smiled.  
  
“What are the coordinates?”  
  
Two minutes later, the crew of  _Serenity_  was picking themselves up from the console room floor while the Doctor and Rose made their way towards the exit.  When they swung the door open, they were met by a blonde woman in a prom dress.  The image was so jarring that it took the Doctor a moment to remember that this was Mr. Universe’s ‘fiancée.’  
  
She stiltedly ushered them all into the complex, a cavernous space full of electronic equipment.  One whole side of the room was filled with monitors, each screen displaying something different.  The Doctor turned and noticed Mr. Universe, sprawled out on a long sofa.  He looked, contrary to the Doctor’s expectations, neither frightened nor confused.  When the Doctor’s eyes landed on him, he gave the man a knowing smirk.  
  
“So you’re  _that_  Doctor,” he said.  
  
The Doctor felt his eyebrows twitch upwards.  
  
“Oh, you’ve heard of me?” he replied.  
  
Mr. Universe leapt up from the couch and gave the Doctor a smug look.  
  
“I hear everything,” he replied.  
  
Mal marched forward suddenly, holding the video cylinder aloft, and a few seconds later Mr. Universe was watching the wave for himself.  No one was keen on seeing the report again, but they maintained a solemn silence for its duration.  When the first screams echoed through the complex, Mal twisted the cylinder free of the video port, cutting the stream short.  
  
“We don’t have the equipment to broadwave this code,” the captain said.  
  
Mr. Universe’s smirk was gone.  He had grown pale and still.  
  
“It’ll be on every screen in the ‘Verse by the end of the day,” he replied soberly.  His eyes were still fixed on his now-blank monitor.  The Doctor had only known of the young man for a few days, but he still got the impression that this was the most serious he’d ever been.  
  
Mr. Universe blinked suddenly, and seemed to come to himself.  He reached out and grasped the hand of his ‘fiancée.’  Her gears whirred, allowing her metallic fingertips to close around his.  Only then did the computer genius turn back to Mal.  
  
“You have Manuel and Hugo’s card?” he asked.  
  
Mal nodded.  
  
“I think we can all expect to be in touch with them soon,” the younger man concluded.  
  
The two men shook hands, and Mal turned back to the group.  Wordlessly, they took their cue and filed back into the TARDIS.  The Doctor planted himself in the control seat and spun to face Inara.  
  
“Well, I think the next logical step is to get you all back on your ship.  Unless Ms. Serra would like us to drop her off on Sihnon first?”  
  
Inara’s eyes darted up to the Doctor in surprise, and then she glanced hastily over at Mal.  
  
“I, uh…”  
  
Mal gave her a pointed look.  The Doctor knew it was rare for a Companion to stumble over her words, and evidently so did Mal.  
  
“I think that maybe I’ll stay on with the crew a bit longer,” she recovered.  “Provided that the captain is all right with that, of course.”  
  
She arched an eyebrow at Mal, who failed to hide his surprise.  His eyes were wide, and for a moment he said nothing at all.  Then he coughed and sputtered out, “No, that’s—that won’t be a problem.”  
  
“It’s just that I’m starting to think maybe an Alliance-sponsored job isn’t the most stable career path anymore,” she explained, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.  
  
“Is that so?” Mal asked, trying to fight a smile of his own.  
  
“It is,” she nodded, fairly grinning now.  
  
The Doctor felt something tug at his sleep and turned.  Rose came up beside him and slipped her arm through his.  She leaned her cheek against his sleeve and stared openly at the captain and the Companion.  When the Doctor peeked down at her, he saw that she was hiding her own grin in the crook of his arm.  
  
“Sounds like the cap’n might have someone to  _misbehave_  with,” Jayne snorted.  
  
Kaylee promptly smacked him in the arm.  
  
“Ow!” he grunted.  
  
“Jayne Cobb, you mind your own business,” she commanded.  
  
The mercenary muttered something unintelligible under his breath, but didn’t speak up again.  
  
“ _Serenity_  it is, then!” the Doctor announced.  
  
The crew faired much better during this trip.  Only Simon lost his footing, blushing feverishly when Kaylee giggled at his less-than-graceful fall.  When she offered him a hand up, however, he seemed to forget his embarrassment.  
  
The Doctor parked the TARDIS directly inside  _Serenity_ ’s cargo bay.  He and Kaylee headed up to the engine room and set to work righting the G-line.  It was quick and easy work, and all too soon, they found themselves crowded around the kitchen table with the rest of the crew.  
  
Rose was back in her emerald dress from the very start of their adventure, although her hair fell in loose waves to her shoulders rather than a fancy updo.  The Doctor couldn’t help thinking that he liked this look very much, and found himself blushing over the very un-Time-Lord-like thought.  She stood off to the side while everyone else crowded around a large map of the ‘Verse that had been spread out over the table.  Mal and Zoe were stooped over it, deep in conversation.  They seemed to be leading a strategy session, as the rest of the crew was calling out suggestions regarding things like tactical objectives and security measures.  
  
“Well, as you seem to have things well in hand here, I guess it’s time for Rose and I to be moving on,” the Doctor announced.  
  
The din immediately dissipated and all heads swiveled to face him.  
  
“Do you hafta?” asked a stricken Kaylee.  
  
Rose glanced at the Doctor, and then gave the mechanic a regretful smile.  
  
“That’s what we do.  Can’t stay in one place too long,” she said softly.  
  
The crew moved to the cargo bay, Kaylee shuffling sadly beside Rose, and River climbing awkwardly along on the metal handrails of the stairs.  This was the part the Doctor hated.  Goodbye.  He was never good at these.  
  
Hugs and handshakes were coming fast and furious before he had a chance to think too much about it.  Jayne gave him a firm handshake, but bent down to give Rose a long hug.  He could hear her whisper something in his ear, but wasn’t close enough, even with his superior Time Lord senses, to pick up the words.  
  
“Hey, uh, I thought I should probably leave you with something to remember us by.”  
  
The voice startled the Doctor.  He looked up to see Wash sheepishly extending his hand.  On his palm was a tiny plastic dinosaur.  
  
“Fluffy?” the Doctor asked, touched and amused all at once.  
  
“I’m really glad to have met you,” the pilot said earnestly.  
  
The Doctor knew he would never be able to express to Wash how much their conversation in the cockpit meant to him.  So he didn’t try.  Instead, he smiled and accepted the small toy.  
  
“I am too,” he said.  It was enough.  
  
When Wash moved over to Rose, who was now being embraced by a tearful Kaylee, he revealed River.  The teenager approached the Doctor tentatively, her dark hair half-hiding her face.  
  
“River,” the Doctor said, smiling broadly.  
  
He opened his arms to her and she moved forward in a sudden flurry of movement that almost knocked him off his feet.  He managed to stabilize the both of them, and brought his arms up to her back.  
  
“Thank you,” she said in a tiny voice.  
  
He almost couldn’t hear her, as her face was now buried in his long overcoat, so he gently pulled back so that he could see her.  
  
“No, thank  _you_ , River,” he whispered.  “Do me a favor, will you?”  
  
River stared at him, waiting.  His smile grew.  
  
“Have a fantastic life.  You deserve it, more than anyone.”  
  
She fell into his arms again, and he held her tightly.  
  
“The man is not a gun,” she whispered into his coat.  Then, even more softly, she added,  “I’m going to miss you.”  
  
The Doctor ran a hand down her long hair.  
  
“Me too,” he murmured.  
  
When he pulled back, River’s eyes were glassy, but she did not let any tears fall.  The Doctor gave her one last squeeze before drawing back and meeting Rose in front of the TARDIS.  He pulled open the blue door, but Zoe’s voice stopped him.  
  
“Before you go, can you answer one question for me, Doctor?” the first mate asked.  
  
“I can certainly try,” the Doctor replied.  
  
“Who exactly are you?”  
  
The Doctor looked to Rose, who smiled.  
  
“I’m a mad man with a box,” he replied.  
  
He heard Rose let out a little laugh and glanced down at her.  
  
“Modesty doesn’t suit you,” his companion said with an eye roll.  She turned back to Zoe.  “He’s spent centuries helping people.  He’s humanity’s greatest defender.”  
  
There was a brief pause, and then Wash spoke up.  
  
“Yeah, well I fixed the toaster last week.”  
  
Zoe patted him on the cheek.  
  
“You did, baby.  And it was very impressive,” she said.  
  
Wash nodded proudly.  
  
“So, if he’s a centuries-old space alien who saves the universe, then who are you?” Simon asked, gesturing at Rose.  
  
Rose opened her mouth to reply, but it was River who spoke up first.  
  
“She’s the Bad Wolf.  She saves the Doctor,” the teenager said.  
  
The Doctor beamed.  “Quite right, too.”  
  
Rose slipped her hand into his, and pushed the door the rest of the way open.  
  
“We’ll be back to visit,” she called over her shoulder.  
  
“You’d better!” Kaylee shouted back.  
  
And then the two of them were back inside the TARDIS, the doors closed behind them.  The Doctor moved swiftly over to the controls, set Fluffy down beside some of his favorite dials, and began preparing his ship for a new journey.  He glanced up and saw Rose staring at the monitor, watching the crew of  _Serenity_  mill about the cargo bay.  
  
“Are you sure we should leave them so soon?” she asked.  There was a slight tremor in her voice.  “The rebellion’s just begun.  What if the Alliance finds them?” she added.  
  
The Doctor abandoned the controls and came up beside her.  He slipped his arm around her waist and joined her in watching the monitor.  His eyes landed on Mal, who appeared to be giving orders to the crew.  
  
“Do you know anything about the Battle of Serenity Valley?” the Doctor asked quietly.  
  
Rose looked at him.  
  
“Just that Mal was in it.  Inara told me.  I meant to ask you about that, actually,” she replied.  
  
The Doctor nodded.  
  
“I had an inkling that he named his ship for that reason.”  
  
“Was it bad?” Rose asked curiously.  
  
The Doctor fell silent for a moment.  He thought of all the battles in all of human history; bodies with only the faintest semblance of life left that still somehow manage to emit desperate cries for help, cries that slowly descended into ragged sobs that echoed across barren fields.  Multiplied by thousands of bodies and millions of wars and billions of years, it became all too much to think about.  
  
“There aren’t really words, Rose,” he murmured.  
  
Her eyes fluttered down to their feet with a whispered, “Oh.”  
  
He felt contrite immediately.  She was asking a reasonable question.  
  
“Most would say it was the last stand of the Independents,” he started, and she looked up, surprised but attentive.  “About six weeks in, the rebels were still fighting, even though the Alliance had superior numbers and firepower.  But the Independent High Command surrendered.”  
  
His voice trailed off.  
  
“What happened next?” Rose prompted.  
  
“No one came for a week.  The wounded lay stranded on the battlefield, screaming for help with their last breath.  Thousands starved to death.  It was hell on earth.”  
  
“Oh my god,” she muttered, her voice cracking.  
  
“About a hundred years from now, scholars will compare it to Gettysburg, but it was worse.  People who survived it have a saying.  ‘No one leaves Serenity.  You just learn to live there.’”  
  
“Mal survived.  And Zoe,” Rose said.  The statement was unnecessary, but he appreciated it all the same.  It was a reminder that something good survived those terrible weeks.  
  
“If anyone is equipped to lead this rebellion, it’s Mal.  Any person who can keep the will to fight, even after that, will never lose it,” the Doctor concluded.  
  
Rose looked at him and nodded.  He wondered if she was thinking of the Time War, as he was.  
  
“Okay,” she said.  
  
“Okay?” he repeated, questioning.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
She gave him a humorless smile, reassuring him that at least she was all right with the decision to leave.  
  
“So, where to next?  You’re back in your dress.  Should we try for the Flupani Centennial Ball again?” he asked.  
  
She shook her head resolutely, prompting him to try again.  He could tell that she was feeling a bit down and adrift.  That always seemed to happen after a long string of trips.  Suddenly, he knew just what to do.  
  
“We could go see Jackie,” he suggested.  
  
Rose pinned him with a deeply skeptical look.  
  
“What?” he asked innocently.  
  
“Do I look so upset that you’re willing to go see Mum?” Rose asked.  
  
The Doctor felt his cheeks color.  He started to ramble, as he always did when he was even the slightest bit flustered.  
  
“No, it’s only… Don’t you want to see her?  And, come to think of it, don’t you still have that Bazoolium bottle to give her?  Funny little metal?  Predicts the weather?  I’m sure she’ll love it.  Imagine all the things she’ll be able to do that she couldn’t before.  ‘Shall I putter on down to the mall today in my very fashionable tracksuit?  Better consult my Bazoolium.  Oi, it’s far too cold!  I’ll just watch telly instead.’  See it’s…”  
  
He trailed off again when he saw her still-skeptical look.  
  
“No?” he ventured.  
  
“No,” she confirmed, her expression unreadable.  
  
“Where, then?”  
  
“Satellite Five,” she said decisively.  
  
He felt his eyebrows jump but make a valiant effort to keep his jaw from dropping.  
“Satellite…” he muttered uselessly.  
  
Rose brushed past him and over to the controls, as if she knew how to set the coordinates.  
  
“We’re going back for Jack,” she informed him.  Seeming to realize that she did  _not_ , in fact, know how to fly the TARDIS, she looked up at him expectantly, gesturing towards the controls.  
  
The Doctor was still frozen to the spot.  Jack was  _wrong_.  He just was.  To put him in the TARDIS could cause any number of cataclysmic events.  Rose just couldn’t understand—But wasn’t this why he loved the human race?  They would never give up on each other.  
  
He nodded decisively.  
  
“Satellite Five, it is.”  
  
He was rewarded with a brief peck on the lips and a brilliant Rose Tyler grin.  
  
“And after that, we’ll go see Mum,” she concluded.  
  
The Doctor might have felt a good pout coming on, if Time Lord’s pouted, which they didn’t, so it must have been something else.  But in any case, before he could  _not_  pout about having to see Jackie Tyler after all, Rose swooped in again and captured his lips in a much more substantial kiss.  He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her back.  His fingers traced their way up the satin fabric of the gown until they were tangled in her hair.  
  
She pulled away before he could maneuver her back against the rotor, an image that had been floating around his brain lately.  He didn’t have a chance to register his disapproval, because there was that grin of hers again, the one that he couldn’t resist returning.  
  
“You know, Jack’s going to be insufferable about this,” he groused, still smiling.  
  
“Stop stalling,” Rose said pointedly, although she was smiling too.  
  
Admitting defeat, the Doctor pushed forward on the large lever to his right, and set to work navigating his ship.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chinese Translations:   
> Run-tse duh shang-dee, ching dai-wuhtzo = Merciful God, please take me away.  
> Wuo-shang mayer, maysheen byen shr-to = I will close my ears and my heart and I will be a stone

**Author's Note:**

> Chinese Translations:
> 
> Wŏ céng jīng jiàn guò nĭ mă? Huò xŭ zài wŏ mèng lĭ jiàn guò?— Haven't I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
> 
> Gorram – God damned (this isn’t Chinese, but it’s commonly used on Firefly as slang)
> 
> bái mù – Stupid. Literally, white-eyed, blind. Here it means not understanding the situation and reacting in a wrong way as a result.
> 
> go-se – shit
> 
> Shén me niǎo – What the fuck


End file.
